A shoe mountain in the shape of a nun
October 23, 2015 9:06 AM Subscribe
In my game you’d play as either immortal filomancer Mary Berry or dagger-haired balrog of scorn Paul Hollywood
This guy appears to be the only one who has much of an idea of what the show is about.
posted by cmoj at 9:27 AM on October 23, 2015 [14 favorites]
This guy appears to be the only one who has much of an idea of what the show is about.
posted by cmoj at 9:27 AM on October 23, 2015 [14 favorites]
But it already is a game. Oh, a computer game. I'd have computers do all the tasting and judging of people's baking. SPECTOGRAPHIC SENSORS INDICATE THAT YOUR CAKE IS DELICIOUS, BUT DENSITY IS 0.3% OUTSIDE THE IDEAL RANGE FOR THIS RECIPE.
posted by sfenders at 9:30 AM on October 23, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by sfenders at 9:30 AM on October 23, 2015 [9 favorites]
Obviously you start out as a contestant on the show. And equally obviously the opening cut scene would be your episode being overrun by a horde of zombies. Just when it looks like you're doomed, the surviving chefs and production crew are rescued by a nearby military unit who protect you in a hastily fortified soundstage full of cooking equipment and supplies meant for the show. So your job is to feed the soldiers when they come back from fighting the zombies.
But they can't hold off a full-on horde of thousands of zombies, there's just no way. The only way they can keep the place from being overrun is by diverting the zombies away from the building - which they do by throwing somebody out from time to time and making them run for their lives with the zombies pursuing them. They have to do this every couple days because eventually the zombies just reassemble outside and start battering their way in once more.
They've got way more cooks than they need.
Your challenge is to cook better meals than the other contestants, so they'll sacrifice them instead of you. The game gets more and more difficult as the weaker chefs are fed, one by one, to the zombies, until you have to face off with the final boss - Gordon Ramsey himself, who was there that day as a guest judge or something, did I mention that?
Anyway, that's clearly how it would go. Either that or a freemium thing where you have to pay to unlock the spice rack or some shit.
posted by Naberius at 9:37 AM on October 23, 2015 [20 favorites]
But they can't hold off a full-on horde of thousands of zombies, there's just no way. The only way they can keep the place from being overrun is by diverting the zombies away from the building - which they do by throwing somebody out from time to time and making them run for their lives with the zombies pursuing them. They have to do this every couple days because eventually the zombies just reassemble outside and start battering their way in once more.
They've got way more cooks than they need.
Your challenge is to cook better meals than the other contestants, so they'll sacrifice them instead of you. The game gets more and more difficult as the weaker chefs are fed, one by one, to the zombies, until you have to face off with the final boss - Gordon Ramsey himself, who was there that day as a guest judge or something, did I mention that?
Anyway, that's clearly how it would go. Either that or a freemium thing where you have to pay to unlock the spice rack or some shit.
posted by Naberius at 9:37 AM on October 23, 2015 [20 favorites]
I dunno, I think this cooking show/zombie siege idea might have some merit... Essentially it would be a crafting/tower defense hybrid where the meals you cook act as power ups and new weapons for the troops.
posted by Artw at 9:42 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 9:42 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
(This would also work as a Hell's Kitchen videogame should the licensing for GBBO fall through.)
posted by Naberius at 9:42 AM on October 23, 2015
posted by Naberius at 9:42 AM on October 23, 2015
. Either that or a freemium thing where you have to pay to unlock the spice rack or some shit.
Steven Universe's Citchen Calamity seems like a good model for that.
posted by emjaybee at 9:44 AM on October 23, 2015
Steven Universe's Citchen Calamity seems like a good model for that.
posted by emjaybee at 9:44 AM on October 23, 2015
Oh, also, if you do fail a challenge, you get thrown out and get to play the endless running minigame, avoiding zombies until you make it to another hastily fortified soundstage where entirely different soldiers have holed up with the cast and crew of Strictly Come Dancing.
This assumes that you bought the Strictly Come Dancing DLC obviously. As your character develops, you'll be able to transfer your achievements, unlocked outfits, etc. across a whole range of British TV licensed games.
Damn, I think I'm actually on to something here.
posted by Naberius at 9:50 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
This assumes that you bought the Strictly Come Dancing DLC obviously. As your character develops, you'll be able to transfer your achievements, unlocked outfits, etc. across a whole range of British TV licensed games.
Damn, I think I'm actually on to something here.
posted by Naberius at 9:50 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
There are also terrible rumors of a US version, which I hope will not come to pass.
Well, it can't be any worse that the first one. If they could get Mel and Sue to host, it might actually have a shot.
posted by briank at 10:03 AM on October 23, 2015
Well, it can't be any worse that the first one. If they could get Mel and Sue to host, it might actually have a shot.
posted by briank at 10:03 AM on October 23, 2015
I'd have computers do all the tasting and judging of people's baking.
THIS CAKE IS GREAT. IT'S SO DELICIOUS AND MOIST.
Sorry.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 10:15 AM on October 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
THIS CAKE IS GREAT. IT'S SO DELICIOUS AND MOIST.
Sorry.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 10:15 AM on October 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
Naberius I want to watch that as a show so badly right now. I just imagined the entire thing in my head so vividly.
posted by gucci mane at 10:49 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by gucci mane at 10:49 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
There are also terrible rumors of a US version, which I hope will not come to pass.
Nooooo!
I love TGBBO! It's like the upbeat, ethical opposite of everything Food Channel turns into a game show. It's a competition, sure. But it's a friendly competition. The focus is on the creativity and baking, and not on aggressive personalities butting heads. The only way a US version of the show could ever have a hope in hell of succeeding is if it's on PBS. Maybe, their Create channel.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:54 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
Nooooo!
I love TGBBO! It's like the upbeat, ethical opposite of everything Food Channel turns into a game show. It's a competition, sure. But it's a friendly competition. The focus is on the creativity and baking, and not on aggressive personalities butting heads. The only way a US version of the show could ever have a hope in hell of succeeding is if it's on PBS. Maybe, their Create channel.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:54 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
The only way a US version of the show could ever have a hope in hell of succeeding is if it's on PBS.
Please do not encourage PBS down this path.
Next thing you know, it'll be This Old House: Hammered, a show in which Richard, Tom and Roger each select a team of homeowners and compete in a series of "House Challenges".
Norm will build the Immunity Idol out of a period appropriate cherry wood side table.
"Can they finish that landscaping before the plasterer finishes the ceiling?
Watch as one team puts Georgian windows in a Colonial facade.
Feel the tension as a plumber slowly cuts through a support beam holding the entire team.
Next time, on This Old House: Hammered."
posted by madajb at 11:27 AM on October 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
Please do not encourage PBS down this path.
Next thing you know, it'll be This Old House: Hammered, a show in which Richard, Tom and Roger each select a team of homeowners and compete in a series of "House Challenges".
Norm will build the Immunity Idol out of a period appropriate cherry wood side table.
"Can they finish that landscaping before the plasterer finishes the ceiling?
Watch as one team puts Georgian windows in a Colonial facade.
Feel the tension as a plumber slowly cuts through a support beam holding the entire team.
Next time, on This Old House: Hammered."
posted by madajb at 11:27 AM on October 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
It's like the upbeat, ethical opposite of everything Food Channel turns into a game show. It's a competition, sure. But it's a friendly competition. The focus is on the creativity and baking, and not on aggressive personalities butting heads.
Exactly. The friendly part of the competition is what makes it so nice to watch. Sure, there's a little rivalry (people admitting they want to take the two-time Star Baker down a peg) but it always turns out so damn nice. They don't require the contestants to fill any villain roles since Paul is more than happy to do that himself. Anyway.
US REALITY COMPETITION SHOWS: "I didn't come here to make friends"
THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF: *group hug for departing contestant*
posted by Spatch at 12:22 PM on October 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
Exactly. The friendly part of the competition is what makes it so nice to watch. Sure, there's a little rivalry (people admitting they want to take the two-time Star Baker down a peg) but it always turns out so damn nice. They don't require the contestants to fill any villain roles since Paul is more than happy to do that himself. Anyway.
US REALITY COMPETITION SHOWS: "I didn't come here to make friends"
THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF: *group hug for departing contestant*
posted by Spatch at 12:22 PM on October 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
It's like the upbeat, ethical opposite of everything Food Channel turns into a game show.
Or any of the Fox / Gordon Ramsey nightmares. Watching any of those gives me angina pain and makes me despair about humanity.
posted by aught at 12:30 PM on October 23, 2015
Or any of the Fox / Gordon Ramsey nightmares. Watching any of those gives me angina pain and makes me despair about humanity.
posted by aught at 12:30 PM on October 23, 2015
Then you get rewound and do it again with a red filter and more dramatic music.
posted by Artw at 12:48 PM on October 23, 2015
posted by Artw at 12:48 PM on October 23, 2015
Paul is pretty weak sauce as a villain - he'll get all giddy with praise for a bake he thinks is fantastic. I made Ian's Colossal Carrot Cake the other night, and Paul wasn't wrong about that one.
....Himself & I made pigs of ourselves and ate 1/3 of the whole cake before it even had a chance to cool properly.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 1:47 PM on October 23, 2015
....Himself & I made pigs of ourselves and ate 1/3 of the whole cake before it even had a chance to cool properly.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 1:47 PM on October 23, 2015
One of the Senran Kagura games is a cooking contest. NSFW
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:19 PM on October 23, 2015
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:19 PM on October 23, 2015
It would have to be a dating sim like Hatoful Boyfriend or that other one where you get to date anthropomorphic sushi.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 5:13 PM on October 23, 2015
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 5:13 PM on October 23, 2015
I dunno, I think this cooking show/zombie siege idea might have some merit... Essentially it would be a crafting/tower defense hybrid where the meals you cook act as power ups and new weapons for the troops.
I WANT TO PLAY THIS.
Ideally the crafting would in some way mimic actual kitchen skills, like in the Cooking Mama series.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:09 PM on October 24, 2015
I WANT TO PLAY THIS.
Ideally the crafting would in some way mimic actual kitchen skills, like in the Cooking Mama series.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:09 PM on October 24, 2015
there'd be a sequel where you play as the leader/chef for the zombies and all your recipes involve brains in some way.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:10 PM on October 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:10 PM on October 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
> Next time, on This Old House: Hammered."
"I'm sorry, Team Trethewey, your work didn't pass The Inspection. You had several code violations and exceeded your allotment of two trips to the local hardware store. " *dramatically tears posted work permit* "Please collect your tools and leave the jobsite."
posted by Sunburnt at 7:41 PM on October 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
"I'm sorry, Team Trethewey, your work didn't pass The Inspection. You had several code violations and exceeded your allotment of two trips to the local hardware store. " *dramatically tears posted work permit* "Please collect your tools and leave the jobsite."
posted by Sunburnt at 7:41 PM on October 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
The Great British Baking Show breaks all the reality TV rules. That’s why it’s so good.
posted by Artw at 11:06 AM on November 14, 2015
posted by Artw at 11:06 AM on November 14, 2015
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posted by Artw at 9:15 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]