SLNYTrollery

October 23, 2015 9:51 AM

Today's NYT sports section trolls Cubs fans with a 1908-inspired front page. The cover. More, from Talking New Media.
posted by DirtyOldTown (53 comments total)

I'm a Mets fan, but still...Ugh. Too soon NYT.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:53 AM on October 23, 2015 [9 favorites]

I hope it's still funny when they're in hell.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:53 AM on October 23, 2015 [25 favorites]

Link to the actual article, which is great.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:54 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh snap.
posted by Wretch729 at 9:54 AM on October 23, 2015

Bat
Evil
Never
Goes Away
Holy shit D
Aniel Murphy i
Z the Antichr
Ist!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:56 AM on October 23, 2015 [10 favorites]

Now, the Times should do a front page for 2108 for, you know, the next time the Cubs approach the Series.
posted by the sobsister at 9:58 AM on October 23, 2015 [8 favorites]

Ouch. Lifelong Mets fan cringing for the sake of the long-suffering Cubs faithful. Mets fans know this kind of disappointment too, and ideally ought to be sensitive to it in other fans. (Also, okay NYT, you've taken a break from your generally 90% Yankees / 10% Mets bias to give attention that makes the Mets look bad. Gee thanks.)

One aspect of the general weirdness of the Mets / Cubs pennant games that really hit me over the last week is how before 1994 it wasn't even possible.
posted by aught at 9:59 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

Lifetime Cubs fan. Still laughed.
posted by Etrigan at 9:59 AM on October 23, 2015 [6 favorites]

"107-Year-Late Edition" I love that they packed in the trollery everywhere they possibly could.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 10:00 AM on October 23, 2015

Gosh I hope the Mets get creamed now.
posted by tittergrrl at 10:02 AM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

Hey, the Mets didn't write the article.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:03 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]

Hey, the Mets didn't write the article.

Maybe not the Mets, but how do we know that Billionaire Columnist Playboy Dan Barry/D. Francis Barry isn't secretly the legendary Mr Met!
posted by tittergrrl at 10:06 AM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

AJ Mass, who WAS Mr. Met, is actually awesome.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:08 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]

I love this, even as someone who was rooting for the Cubs. It's all just a game in the end, even if we have a rooting interest. The Cubs are welcome to make fun of the Mets in the future, and I do have a feeling they're built to contend for the NL pennant for the next 5+ years at least with all that young talent.

As for the Mets... I hate them as divisional foes, but they're playing some amazing ball right now. Also worth noting that lifelong fan and sketch artist Joe Petruccio (previously) has been doing some great work lately documenting the team's success throughout the season and into the postseason.
posted by tonycpsu at 10:19 AM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

So catty, I love it.
posted by bgal81 at 10:20 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

The Times also ran this story about the Cubs and they sent a reporter to the Maritime Provinces to report on Blue Jays fans there. Interesting stories so far.

Sorry Jose, This Joe Batt Came First

With Glowing Hearts, a Nation Unites Behind the Blue Jays
posted by mlis at 10:20 AM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

100+ year old smug neener neener rivalry is my most favourite thing about baseball.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:23 AM on October 23, 2015 [11 favorites]

OMG

"The Chicagoans, meanwhile, must wait again to add more names to the pennants that flap in honor upon the yellow poles demarking fair and foul. In left hung the great surnames of Banks, Santo and Jenkins, and in right, those of Williams, Sandberg and Maddux. None of these greats, alas, ever tasted the nectar of champions while in Chicago."

Oh wow. Ouch. Just... ouch.
posted by zarq at 10:27 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

This is pretty good:

As the men of Chicago took their swipes in the batting cage, fielded daisy cutters and danced to unusual melodies — music that, to this correspondent, was unnecessarily emphatic in its bass — they seemed altogether unperturbed by the prospect of their long winter on the verge of commencing.

In other rivalry news, the Toronto Public Library and Kansas City Public Library have been throwing down on Twitter through book spine poetry.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:29 AM on October 23, 2015 [13 favorites]

Now, the Times should do a front page for 2108 for, you know, the next time the Cubs approach the Series.

Honestly the game hasn't been the same since the Third Singularity introduced 7th-dimensional play. Call me a purist but I like my grandpa's Euclidean ball games.
posted by Sangermaine at 10:32 AM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

Lifetime Cubs fan. Still laughed.

Yeah, me too (though I'm not sure I'm as much a lifetime fan anymore as a neighborhood friend -- like how you'd still be happy if the person across the road who you never talk to but still keeps their lawn nice won the lottery); my love for olde tyme newspaper language and being a dick apparently overwhelms my support for my hometown heroes down the street.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:33 AM on October 23, 2015 [5 favorites]

Would it be too much to ask for a Lovecraft-inspired rewrite?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:33 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

Pitchers should be called "twirlers" more often.
posted by Zonker at 10:36 AM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]

There's really no doubt that they nailed it stylistically. It may be obnoxious, but it's perfectly executed and funny as hell.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:46 AM on October 23, 2015 [7 favorites]

As a Cubs fan who, unfortunately, proved prophetic after the Cards went down, I'll take this kind of ribbing and look forward to a time when we get to serve it back with a smile. And this is certainly wittier and more fun than anything you'd see out of the likes of Yankees or Cards fans.

I lived in NYC for most of the 2000s, so I have tons of friends who are Mets fans, and they bleed blue. It's an honorable rivalry and I'll be rooting for the Mets for the rest of this season.
posted by ursus_comiter at 10:47 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

The New York Times turns into The Onion!
posted by jeffen at 10:56 AM on October 23, 2015

though I'm not sure I'm as much a lifetime fan anymore as a neighborhood friend -- like how you'd still be happy if the person across the road who you never talk to but still keeps their lawn nice won the lottery

On reflection, for this metaphor to work for the friendly confines, you also have to be okay with the fact that sometimes your neighbor pukes in your yard.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:02 AM on October 23, 2015 [5 favorites]

Still one of my favorite Futurama gags.

For the unfamiliar, Futurama takes place in the 31st century.

Also, Go Jays.
posted by mhum at 11:06 AM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

the ginger-haired second-sacker Daniel Murphy

Are we thinking of a different Daniel Murphy?

The description of the first inning is quite good, though.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:09 AM on October 23, 2015

I think you are confusing me with someone else qcubed. I'm a devoted Cubs fan with no affinity for the Twins.

I posted this out of a) mock outrage and b) admiration for trolling well done.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:23 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

When did "ducat" become synonymous with "ticket"? This isn't the first time I've come across it and it's very annoying.
posted by clorox at 11:26 AM on October 23, 2015

I was actually at Game 3 of the NLDS screaming my head off. I pretty much single-handedly blew up the Twitter and FB feeds of every person I know freaking the hell out over the Cubs.

I actually requested off that day and cited the reason as "religious observance."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:26 AM on October 23, 2015 [8 favorites]

When did "ducat" become synonymous with "ticket"?

I don't know how long, but Variety has been using it for a long time.
posted by Etrigan at 11:31 AM on October 23, 2015

When did "ducat" become synonymous with "ticket"?

Damon Runyon used it, so... quite some time back.

I'm away from my reference shelves, but Oxford Dictionaries dates it to "the late 19th century."
posted by Shmuel510 at 11:53 AM on October 23, 2015

I'm with you, Dirty Old Town. I lived in NY for 15 years, so I'm wearing my Mets cap this week, but my girls know that when I die, my ashes must be smuggled into, and sprinkled over, Wrigley Field.
posted by rokusan at 12:04 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Are we thinking of a different Daniel Murphy?

I think this might have come from his beard having a reddish cast in bright sun. This is something my otherwise brown-looking beard (and hair for that matter) also used to do... until it mostly turned gray in my late 40s. :-{(}
posted by aught at 12:44 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

This is really fitting, because on none of the postseason broadcasts from Wrigley did I see one. single. non-white. person. in the stands.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 1:14 PM on October 23, 2015

I'm not proud of myself, but I am old enough to remember 1969 fairly vividly, god damn it, and even though the dearth of games on WGN nowadays prevents me from following the Cubs at all closely anymore, part of me devoutly hopes whoever created that newspaper thing DIES IN A FUCKING FIRE and would be sort of OK with personally dropping the match, figuratively speaking. It's fine that the Cubbies lost, they always lose, they have lost for the 54 years I've loved them, but losing to the Mets is so very, very, very bitter.

It's weird how in recent years, people are always blathering on at me about the "vicious" Cub-Cards rivalry blah-de-blah, but that's not really a thing, or it wasn't in my day. If you and your people come from Bloomington, IL or points south (like much of my extended family), you root for the Cards as the good lord intended. If you're from north of Bloomington-ish -- excluding the South Side of Chicago -- you root for the Cubs. And the two sides can shake hands and agree to be friends outside of the "I hope my team wins" element.

Cubs fans of my generation don't hate Mets FANS (so long as they are people born or transplanted very early into the applicable region) unless they do shit like this. But oh dear god we hate the fucking Mets themselves. HATE. THEM.
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:36 PM on October 23, 2015

This is really fitting, because on none of the postseason broadcasts from Wrigley did I see one. single. non-white. person. in the stands.

Sorry that the camera didn't do the heavy lifting of challenging your pre-conceived notions about the Cubs fan base.

Its not heavily African-American, but there are plenty of non-white fans at Wrigley.
posted by C.A.S. at 1:37 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

I have no idea what the sports rivalry stuff is about because I've never watched a baseball game in my life but holy damn this got me looking at a sports page for more than 5 consecutive seconds for the first time in my entire life!! I wish all newspapers were like this!!
posted by Mooseli at 1:38 PM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

Seriously, can you imagine if Buzzfeed writers had to think this hard before committing their thoughts to "print"?
posted by Mooseli at 1:39 PM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm a Giants fan with roots in Chicago. So when SF goes out, I switch to the Cubs (if still possible). The one thing I absolutely refuse to do is pay any attention at all to any AL team ever, so I'll be rooting for the Mets now.

And that NYT troll? Well, it's painfully funny, because true.
posted by chavenet at 2:14 PM on October 23, 2015

Perfect, down to the fact that the story is a day late.
posted by stargell at 2:40 PM on October 23, 2015

You sure picked the right two-team markets to ignore the AL, chavenet. I'd love to just ignore the NL, but that's simply not possible in the Bay Area, and I can't imagine how it'd be any different in Chicago.
posted by clorox at 3:10 PM on October 23, 2015

During the last four games, my wife and I kept repeating to ourselves, "It ain't over. It ain't over." Because the Mets are one of two teams in all of baseball that are capable of blowing a game in the blink of an eye. With a ten run lead, top of the ninth, two outs, full count, no one on base, the Mets could totally give up 11 runs and lose the game. And then go on to blow a series where they were up 3 games to zip. Because they're the Mets.

That's a big reason why the Yankees are the preferred team over the Mets in all of New York City. Including all of Queens. where the Mets play. The Yankees are the preferred New York team in 98% of zip codes nationwide. No one prefers the underdogs.

I'm a Mets fan. Bet many of us felt the way I did about this victory: It was bittersweet. Because if anyone deserved a big playoffs win, it was Cubs fans. If anyone deserves to see their team in the World Series, it's Cubs fans. Cubs fans and Mets fans are a breed apart. Resigned to disappointment. If anyone knows what they're going through right now, it's us.

So no matter what happens in the Series, we'll be right here. Waiting 'til next year.
posted by zarq at 3:37 PM on October 23, 2015 [10 favorites]

What zarq said. I stayed out of the NL playoffs thread after the Mets win, because I figured the Cubs fans didn't need my awkward sympathy on top of everything else, but I feel your pain as best I can.

> Because the Mets are one of two teams in all of baseball that are capable of blowing a game in the blink of an eye. With a ten run lead, top of the ninth, two outs, full count, no one on base, the Mets could totally give up 11 runs and lose the game. And then go on to blow a series where they were up 3 games to zip. Because they're the Mets.

Ain't it the truth!
posted by languagehat at 5:09 PM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

Since someone should post it: California Congressman Forced to Despairingly Sing ‘Meet the Mets’ on House Floor.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 5:32 PM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

Also a Chicagoan and lifelong Cubs fan, and found this hilarious and witty. And I'll be rooting for the Mets and my NY friends.
posted by MarvinTheCat at 6:36 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm not really into baseball, which is why I'm a mariners fan.
posted by lkc at 6:56 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Lifelong Cards fan, and unsurprisingly, I love this.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 7:48 PM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

> Since someone should post it: California Congressman Forced to Despairingly Sing ‘Meet the Mets’ on House Floor.

That link doesn't seem to work any more; here's another story about it.
posted by languagehat at 7:54 AM on October 24, 2015

I'm a Mets fan living in Chicagoland and I'm in the "my, how dickish" camp. I may think the douchebag ratio in Wrigleyville is high, but I have to admire their loyalty. When I first moved here in the aughts and was getting the grand tour, I remember the bars around Wrigley hanging banners cheering " The ninety eighth times the charm!" keep in mind,I'm used to New York fans who quit following in disgust if their team hits a slump in June, so I thought it was endearing as hell...
posted by jacy at 8:52 AM on October 24, 2015

Since this thread is still open, I'll leave this here:

Walking around New York now, two years later, strangers recognized Perez on the streets. Mets fans congratulated him and Hosmer for their victory and told them how much they respected the way the Royals played.

My people! (I'm going to tentatively suggest that Yankee fans might not have behaved as well.)
posted by languagehat at 9:22 AM on November 15, 2015