Have You Tried Just Holding Your Breath?
January 26, 2016 6:46 AM Subscribe
Good news, everyone! Oxygen has been linked to lung cancer. [slnyt]
Much like sharks, cadavers don't develop cancer.
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:59 AM on January 26, 2016
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:59 AM on January 26, 2016
And the bedsheets-cheese one.
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
posted by Etrigan at 7:07 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
posted by Etrigan at 7:07 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
Stop digging, Etrigan.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:21 AM on January 26, 2016 [15 favorites]
Stop digging, Etrigan.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:21 AM on January 26, 2016 [15 favorites]
Oh great. Another reason for rental prices in the Denver metro to rise.
posted by rewil at 7:26 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by rewil at 7:26 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
This is bad news for the Breatharians.
posted by aramaic at 7:30 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by aramaic at 7:30 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
The 'debunking' is poorly done. And the authors rebuttal to the debunking is nicely argued. This seems like a pretty robust result.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 7:30 AM on January 26, 2016
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 7:30 AM on January 26, 2016
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
It's linked to the number of whistles found in old Templar ruins. This number in turn is linked to the number of "amateur researchers" inspired by Dan Brown books. Fortunately, it seems to be a self-correcting problem, due to the incidence of bed-sheet deaths.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:31 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
It's linked to the number of whistles found in old Templar ruins. This number in turn is linked to the number of "amateur researchers" inspired by Dan Brown books. Fortunately, it seems to be a self-correcting problem, due to the incidence of bed-sheet deaths.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:31 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Those who know even a little chemistry (start with knowing that oxygen is part of air but is only a component of it, learning about how anti-oxidants lessen oxidation processes that produce free radicals, and how this may be tied to reducing cancer risk; know that oxygen is the original gangsta oxidizing element that the process of oxidation was originally named for, etc.) will not find this terribly surprising, though as always, it's fun to snarky joke how those dang scientists are now saying that air will kill you.
posted by aught at 7:32 AM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by aught at 7:32 AM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
Something something Dihydrogen Monoxide
posted by SansPoint at 7:36 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by SansPoint at 7:36 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
It's probably just rising with the number of really old and frail people.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:40 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
It's probably just rising with the number of really old and frail people.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:40 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
I hope the new X-Files has an episode about this.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:41 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I hope the new X-Files has an episode about this.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:41 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
posted by enjoymoreradio at 7:42 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Everything gives you cancer
posted by enjoymoreradio at 7:42 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
So this means that under Obamacare, the average American's body is now over 60% carcinogen by mass! Thanks Obummer!
posted by Wretch729 at 7:43 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Wretch729 at 7:43 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yeah, and saliva causes stomach cancer but only if swallowed in small amounts over long periods of time!
Wake up sheeple.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:47 AM on January 26, 2016
Wake up sheeple.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:47 AM on January 26, 2016
Oxygen is a helluva drug.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:51 AM on January 26, 2016
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:51 AM on January 26, 2016
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
It might be due to the falling rate or margarine consumption (or the corresponding fall in divorce rate in Maine)
posted by MtDewd at 7:54 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
It might be due to the falling rate or margarine consumption (or the corresponding fall in divorce rate in Maine)
posted by MtDewd at 7:54 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Live forever by paying someone to knock the breath out of you every couple of minutes.
Or at least it will feel like forever.
posted by tommasz at 7:57 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Or at least it will feel like forever.
posted by tommasz at 7:57 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
I bet it tracks with the rising number of spoo-OO-ky ghosts.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:57 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I bet it tracks with the rising number of spoo-OO-ky ghosts.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:57 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
"When you're dead, it robs life of many pleasures."
- Harvey Pekar
posted by prepmonkey at 7:58 AM on January 26, 2016
- Harvey Pekar
posted by prepmonkey at 7:58 AM on January 26, 2016
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
It's these 500, 600, sometimes even 1000 thread-count sheets. The human body is really only built to withstand a couple hundred threads, max.
posted by mittens at 8:01 AM on January 26, 2016 [24 favorites]
It's these 500, 600, sometimes even 1000 thread-count sheets. The human body is really only built to withstand a couple hundred threads, max.
posted by mittens at 8:01 AM on January 26, 2016 [24 favorites]
Living is dangerous, but hey, I am a dangerous woman...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 8:01 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 8:01 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
There is, for instance, a strong correlation between per-capita cheese consumption and the number of people strangled accidentally by their bedsheets. Year by year, the number of letters making up the winning word for the Scripps National Spelling Bee closely tracks the number of people killed by venomous spiders.
These are probably not important clues about the nature of reality.
There's a reason the X-Files is back on the air, New York Times. The Truth is Out There. Like, really, really out there.
posted by nubs at 8:05 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
These are probably not important clues about the nature of reality.
There's a reason the X-Files is back on the air, New York Times. The Truth is Out There. Like, really, really out there.
posted by nubs at 8:05 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
♫ Not enough, and you're gonna die ♫
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:11 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:11 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
So much for oxygen bars (if you haven't been in ski towns, maybe you don't know about them).
Something else you coastal dwellers may not be aware of is the villainous radon gas, which lurks in the basement of all of us Coloradans, according to all the radon mitigation companies, anyway.
However, back in 2003, a study was published showing an inverse relationship between radon exposure and lung cancer. They were surprised, and postulated--back then--that increased oxygen inhalation among y'all swamp dwellers was the culprit.
posted by kozad at 8:29 AM on January 26, 2016
Something else you coastal dwellers may not be aware of is the villainous radon gas, which lurks in the basement of all of us Coloradans, according to all the radon mitigation companies, anyway.
However, back in 2003, a study was published showing an inverse relationship between radon exposure and lung cancer. They were surprised, and postulated--back then--that increased oxygen inhalation among y'all swamp dwellers was the culprit.
posted by kozad at 8:29 AM on January 26, 2016
It's these 500, 600, sometimes even 1000 thread-count sheets. The human body is really only built to withstand a couple hundred threads, max.
Not only the human body, but the human mind
posted by clockzero at 8:53 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Not only the human body, but the human mind
posted by clockzero at 8:53 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
Because whatever the fuck that thing is, I gotta kill it.
posted by maxsparber at 8:55 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Because whatever the fuck that thing is, I gotta kill it.
posted by maxsparber at 8:55 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
Imagine if you were a bedsheet and every day, without warning, one or more creatures, much heavier than you, would throw themselves on top of you and stay there for many long hours. Sleeping, snoring, farting and drooling on you with their squished open mouths pressed against you until you're completely permeated by their slowly worsening hot morning breath. Sometimes soiling you with food or worse from their strange and disgusting activities. At times accompanied by smaller, furrier creatures whose sharp and pointy little claws pierce and tear through you.
I mean, what would you do?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 9:18 AM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
Imagine if you were a bedsheet and every day, without warning, one or more creatures, much heavier than you, would throw themselves on top of you and stay there for many long hours. Sleeping, snoring, farting and drooling on you with their squished open mouths pressed against you until you're completely permeated by their slowly worsening hot morning breath. Sometimes soiling you with food or worse from their strange and disgusting activities. At times accompanied by smaller, furrier creatures whose sharp and pointy little claws pierce and tear through you.
I mean, what would you do?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 9:18 AM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
oxidation, so crucial to life, rusts our cellsWhat actually happens:
But once a molecule of O2 has picked up one electron to form a superoxide radical (O2 -), it becomes dangerously reactive and rapidly takes up an additional three electrons wherever it can find them. The cell can use O2 for respiration only because cytochrome oxidase holds onto oxygen at a special bimetallic center, where it remains clamped between a heme-linked iron atom and a copper atom until it has picked up a total of four electrons. Only then can the two oxygen atoms of the oxygen molecule be safely released as two molecules of water.Oxygen, once it gets its first taste of an extra electron, goes crazy. It has to be held down with shackles of iron and copper so that it doesn't freak out and destroy the place as it desperately demands more electrons.
That's what's actually happening with oxygen.
[/anthropomorphizing molecules]
posted by clawsoon at 9:26 AM on January 26, 2016 [15 favorites]
the study suggests that if everyone in the United States moved to the alpine heights of San Juan County, Colo. (population: 700), there would be 65,496 fewer cases of lung cancer each year.
Yeah, but the hours of endless traffic jam for our daily commute would likely increase traffic fatalities and road rage. Plus a town designed to handle a population of 700 suddenly getting 320million people would likely result in the collapse of even the most basic services. I mean, can you imagine the line for the closest public toilet while we all wait to get our paperwork in line?
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:38 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yeah, but the hours of endless traffic jam for our daily commute would likely increase traffic fatalities and road rage. Plus a town designed to handle a population of 700 suddenly getting 320million people would likely result in the collapse of even the most basic services. I mean, can you imagine the line for the closest public toilet while we all wait to get our paperwork in line?
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:38 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I thought it smelled funny.
posted by Trochanter at 9:39 AM on January 26, 2016
posted by Trochanter at 9:39 AM on January 26, 2016
Actually, hypoxia (lack of oxygen) has been linked to cancer cell proliferation. It would make sense then that people whose bodies are best adapted to low-oxygen environments (and whose bodies are, thus, better able to prevent hypoxia) show decreased incidences of cancer.
posted by enamon at 9:41 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by enamon at 9:41 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Naked mole rats never get cancer, and they're great at handling hypoxia. One suggestion is that they evolved a modified form of hyaluronan to make their skin stretchier underground - a place with less oxygen, when it's crowded - and it was later used as a part of an anti-cancer mechanism.
Solution for humans: Move underground. Don't ventilate.
posted by clawsoon at 9:54 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Solution for humans: Move underground. Don't ventilate.
posted by clawsoon at 9:54 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
But there is no question that oxidation, so crucial to life, rusts our cells and can edge them closer to becoming cancerous.
is there? is there NO question?
posted by rebent at 10:11 AM on January 26, 2016
is there? is there NO question?
posted by rebent at 10:11 AM on January 26, 2016
It's completely true that, if you're deprived of oxygen for a relatively short amount of time, your chance of getting cancer drops to zero.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:32 AM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:32 AM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
That one's easy... cheese consumption goes up, cheese gives you nightmares, therefor number of nightmares going up, so more people thrashing around in bedsheets, so more death by bedsheets.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:55 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
That one's easy... cheese consumption goes up, cheese gives you nightmares, therefor number of nightmares going up, so more people thrashing around in bedsheets, so more death by bedsheets.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:55 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Butterflies flapping in Brazil are a major cause of hurricane deaths.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:29 PM on January 26, 2016
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:29 PM on January 26, 2016
...a correlation between the concentration of oxygen in the air and the incidence of lung cancer.
Pedant alert, but the concentration of oxygen remains the same at elevation, it's just that the partial pressure of oxygen (and of nitrogen, and of water...in sum, the total pressure of air) goes down as you increase in elevation. So you're getting less of everything, including oxygen.
posted by Existential Dread at 12:36 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Pedant alert, but the concentration of oxygen remains the same at elevation, it's just that the partial pressure of oxygen (and of nitrogen, and of water...in sum, the total pressure of air) goes down as you increase in elevation. So you're getting less of everything, including oxygen.
posted by Existential Dread at 12:36 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
So, you're saying Queen was (yet again) prescient regarding the details of modern medical science?
posted by aramaic at 1:11 PM on January 26, 2016
posted by aramaic at 1:11 PM on January 26, 2016
I hate all of you so much.
posted by Etrigan at 1:26 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 1:26 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
Does the cheese stand together?
No. No, it does not.
posted by petebest at 2:26 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Does the cheese stand together?
No. No, it does not.
posted by petebest at 2:26 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Not sure about the dairy angle. Apparently the number of people who tripped over their own two feet and died
inversely correlates. with per capita consumption of whole milk (US).
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:45 PM on January 26, 2016
inversely correlates. with per capita consumption of whole milk (US).
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:45 PM on January 26, 2016
Okay, seriously, why is death-by-bedsheet rising so consistently?
*furiously writes the script for a horror movie with the tagline "You've made your bed...now DIE in it"*
posted by invitapriore at 9:25 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
*furiously writes the script for a horror movie with the tagline "You've made your bed...now DIE in it"*
posted by invitapriore at 9:25 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
For those of you like me who raged at the author not including the chart for "Year by year, the number of letters making up the winning word for the Scripps National Spelling Bee closely tracks the number of people killed by venomous spiders.", here you go.
It's comforting to know that spiders, much like spelling bees, have become less violent.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:46 PM on January 26, 2016
It's comforting to know that spiders, much like spelling bees, have become less violent.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:46 PM on January 26, 2016
Wherever you live, smoking accounts for as much as 90 percent of lung cancer.
Not if you are a woman.
posted by Ralston McTodd at 4:54 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
Not if you are a woman.
posted by Ralston McTodd at 4:54 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
Not to mention the clear link between organic food and autism.
posted by clawsoon at 7:35 AM on January 27, 2016
posted by clawsoon at 7:35 AM on January 27, 2016
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posted by Etrigan at 6:51 AM on January 26, 2016 [28 favorites]