the first, most vital task of every radical revolutionary
February 16, 2016 8:55 AM Subscribe
New political writers like Marshall are well worth following! Inquiry like his, so uncompromisingly radical and yet also contemporary, is always helpful.
posted by RogerB at 9:01 AM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by RogerB at 9:01 AM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
I knew that guy in school. Not this guy, specifically, but that guy.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:03 AM on February 16, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:03 AM on February 16, 2016 [5 favorites]
Wow, this really made me eyetwitch, I'm damn well hoping this is satire/fake. I know plenty of anarchists who don't have such a large ego as this author, that have plenty of roughed up experiences that help inform their anarchism while also making it hard for them to self-love, due to how state and structural violence have made it really hard to think they are worth of love. Much love to them and everyone in the struggle.
posted by yueliang at 9:05 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by yueliang at 9:05 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
Happily, there does not yet seem to be an actual Bootblackr.
IME of anarchists under thirty, an awful lot of them work for Uber, food delivery places, etc, and are well aware that it's pretty terrible.
I have noticed that the zeitgeist has changed - in my young day, this dude would have been a communist, but I think it's probably correct to observe that he'd call himself an anarchist now. I used to know a number of dudes not unlike this, and they were all commies - but that was the nineties.
posted by Frowner at 9:05 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
IME of anarchists under thirty, an awful lot of them work for Uber, food delivery places, etc, and are well aware that it's pretty terrible.
I have noticed that the zeitgeist has changed - in my young day, this dude would have been a communist, but I think it's probably correct to observe that he'd call himself an anarchist now. I used to know a number of dudes not unlike this, and they were all commies - but that was the nineties.
posted by Frowner at 9:05 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
radical self-love is nothing to be ashamed of. Just make sure you keep the door locked and wash your hands afterward.
posted by philip-random at 9:10 AM on February 16, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 9:10 AM on February 16, 2016 [8 favorites]
C'mon people, I know we get some I-can't-believe-this-is-real non-satire up in here but this is pretty blatant.
posted by JauntyFedora at 9:14 AM on February 16, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by JauntyFedora at 9:14 AM on February 16, 2016 [9 favorites]
in my young day, this dude would have been a communist, but I think it's probably correct to observe that he'd call himself an anarchist now
He hates "tankies," who are somehow simultaneously crusty out-of-touch old people and annoyingly uncool anime nerds; he loves horizontalism, but he's somehow also a vanguard intellectual. He identifies as an anarchist but when someone disagrees with his radical stance on the school system the first words out of his mouth are always "But I'm a Marxist!"
posted by RogerB at 9:15 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
He hates "tankies," who are somehow simultaneously crusty out-of-touch old people and annoyingly uncool anime nerds; he loves horizontalism, but he's somehow also a vanguard intellectual. He identifies as an anarchist but when someone disagrees with his radical stance on the school system the first words out of his mouth are always "But I'm a Marxist!"
posted by RogerB at 9:15 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
Cafe.com's best parody imo is from a different direction: Carl "The Dig" Diggler.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:19 AM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:19 AM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]
The fascists that sit in the modern Eagle’s Nest wish for you to avoid using the system’s many loopholes of comfort and self-love, because they wish to fight an enemy whose belly is empty, not filled with fire and delivery sushi.
if this ain't satire, I don't want to be right.
posted by philip-random at 9:19 AM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
if this ain't satire, I don't want to be right.
posted by philip-random at 9:19 AM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
This killed me
We all remember this one. Scalia must have caused a few of the jokesters at the Capitol Steps to feel lucky he took up jurisprudence instead of comedy writing!
“The obliteration of the American family starts in the wombs of women whose minds are warped by the libertine propaganda funneled into their brains by the Hollywood filth machine. There, they are told that their potential children are just speed bumps on their highway of consequence-free intercourse, drug use, and premarital cohabiting. To forbid state officials from being moral vanguards due to increasing federal power that seeks to undermine traditional values, the noose is being tied around the neck of our spiritual core. So be it, allow unwed mothers to decapitate their infants while en route to rock concerts where they indulge in needle drugs and perform sexual acts that shame their parents. This is the nation the filth mongering scum want.”
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:20 AM on February 16, 2016 [5 favorites]
The State of MIssissippi vs. Durham, 2002, (7-2 vote, deemed it unconstitutional for the state to make phone calls pretending to be the aborted fetus of women who received abortions)
We all remember this one. Scalia must have caused a few of the jokesters at the Capitol Steps to feel lucky he took up jurisprudence instead of comedy writing!
“The obliteration of the American family starts in the wombs of women whose minds are warped by the libertine propaganda funneled into their brains by the Hollywood filth machine. There, they are told that their potential children are just speed bumps on their highway of consequence-free intercourse, drug use, and premarital cohabiting. To forbid state officials from being moral vanguards due to increasing federal power that seeks to undermine traditional values, the noose is being tied around the neck of our spiritual core. So be it, allow unwed mothers to decapitate their infants while en route to rock concerts where they indulge in needle drugs and perform sexual acts that shame their parents. This is the nation the filth mongering scum want.”
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:20 AM on February 16, 2016 [5 favorites]
C'mon people, I know we get some I-can't-believe-this-is-real non-satire up in here but this is pretty blatant.
I mean, yes, one gets that this is satire. But if you hang around the left long enough, you meet people who have no trouble engaging in exploitative practices while hectoring their social inferiors about revolution. I do think it's interesting that both in the satire and in life, it seems more likely that this sort of person would refer to themselves as an anarchist now rather than a communist.
Also, I enjoy the send-up of radical self-love, but that's because I am an old and while I certainly grasp that self-love and self-care are important for people who are treated as disposable by society, the phrase itself always seems weird to me, and I certainly hear people rabbit on about self-love and self-care who are already pretty loved by society.
posted by Frowner at 9:24 AM on February 16, 2016 [8 favorites]
I mean, yes, one gets that this is satire. But if you hang around the left long enough, you meet people who have no trouble engaging in exploitative practices while hectoring their social inferiors about revolution. I do think it's interesting that both in the satire and in life, it seems more likely that this sort of person would refer to themselves as an anarchist now rather than a communist.
Also, I enjoy the send-up of radical self-love, but that's because I am an old and while I certainly grasp that self-love and self-care are important for people who are treated as disposable by society, the phrase itself always seems weird to me, and I certainly hear people rabbit on about self-love and self-care who are already pretty loved by society.
posted by Frowner at 9:24 AM on February 16, 2016 [8 favorites]
C'mon people, I know we get some I-can't-believe-this-is-real non-satire up in here but this is pretty blatant.
In college I knew a young anarchist who sincerely believed tonal music was the evil tool of the oppressors because it lulled you into feeling good and prevented a workers uprising so no, I literally cannot tell what is satire.
posted by The Whelk at 9:24 AM on February 16, 2016 [29 favorites]
In college I knew a young anarchist who sincerely believed tonal music was the evil tool of the oppressors because it lulled you into feeling good and prevented a workers uprising so no, I literally cannot tell what is satire.
posted by The Whelk at 9:24 AM on February 16, 2016 [29 favorites]
In college I knew a young anarchist who sincerely believed tonal music was the evil tool of the oppressors because it lulled you into feeling good and prevented a workers uprising so no, I literally cannot tell what is satire.
Theoretical post-hoc connections only exist if enough people agree that they do.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:34 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
Theoretical post-hoc connections only exist if enough people agree that they do.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:34 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
In college I knew a young anarchist who sincerely believed tonal music was the evil tool of the oppressors because it lulled you into feeling good and prevented a workers uprising
You know, this has a terrible kind of seductive plausibility for me. All the Really Serious Intellectual Straight Man Leftists I've ever met have had a preference for the kind of music that is Not Very Fun, and I have always felt vaguely guilty for liking music to which one can sing along more than I like difficult music. I mean, I like difficult music, but not enough.
And it does make a kind of logical sense! Everything that is fun keeps you from the kind of despair that leads you to not caring if you die in the revolution, right? Everything that is fun makes you think that maybe we could fix up this world rather than replace it with another.
Of course, as I've gotten older and less miserable, I would say that my actual politics have stayed the same, but my lived politics have gotten somewhat shittier and involve far fewer meetings, so maybe there's something in this.
posted by Frowner at 9:35 AM on February 16, 2016 [9 favorites]
It's not wrong, just phrased incorrectly. Tonal music is value-neutral but if you listen to enough Schopenhauer you will become so insanely woke you'll be able to bend spoons and eradicate patches of racism with your withering glare.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:38 AM on February 16, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:38 AM on February 16, 2016 [11 favorites]
But where does he stand on abortion?
posted by parmanparman at 9:41 AM on February 16, 2016
posted by parmanparman at 9:41 AM on February 16, 2016
In college I knew a young anarchist who sincerely believed tonal music was the evil tool of the oppressors because it lulled you into feeling good and prevented a workers uprising
You went to college with Cornelius Cardew?
posted by octobersurprise at 9:41 AM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
You went to college with Cornelius Cardew?
posted by octobersurprise at 9:41 AM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
Somehow the dumb college centrists become just dumb in retrospect, but the dumb college radicals always remain radicals.
posted by RogerB at 9:46 AM on February 16, 2016
posted by RogerB at 9:46 AM on February 16, 2016
I believe Emma Goldman had a quote in re. revolutions and music and fun.
posted by atoxyl at 10:07 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by atoxyl at 10:07 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
I just can't believe nobody in Brooklyn has already started Habrdashr.
posted by Wretch729 at 10:09 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Wretch729 at 10:09 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
In college I knew a young anarchist who sincerely believed tonal music was the evil tool of the oppressors because it lulled you into feeling good and prevented a workers uprising so no, I literally cannot tell what is satire.
Isn't that just another way of saying "bread and circuses"? Which, you know, is kinda correct. Except where your guy sees a grand conspiracy, I see capitalism doing an ok job of meeting basic needs.
(By the by, where exactly does entertainment sit in Maslow's hierarchy?)
posted by Leon at 10:34 AM on February 16, 2016
Isn't that just another way of saying "bread and circuses"? Which, you know, is kinda correct. Except where your guy sees a grand conspiracy, I see capitalism doing an ok job of meeting basic needs.
(By the by, where exactly does entertainment sit in Maslow's hierarchy?)
posted by Leon at 10:34 AM on February 16, 2016
Who has the greater force of will: a gloomy type who suffers from the ennui of boring routine, or an energetic thoughtleader who is invigorated from buying individual Hermes black vintage handbags for each one of his pet snakes to ride in?I gotta admit: this is now leading my thoughts!
posted by ignignokt at 10:40 AM on February 16, 2016 [5 favorites]
All the Really Serious Intellectual Straight Man Leftists I've ever met have had a preference for the kind of music that is Not Very Fun, and I have always felt vaguely guilty for liking music to which one can sing along more than I like difficult music.
"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution."
posted by Itaxpica at 10:57 AM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]
"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution."
posted by Itaxpica at 10:57 AM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]
Me: All the Really Serious Intellectual Straight Man Leftists I've ever met have had a preference for the kind of music that is Not Very Fun, and I have always felt vaguely guilty for liking music to which one can sing along more than I like difficult music.
"Ixtapica: If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution."
Well, I have learned that you can dance, but it involves folding your arms and rocking back and forth rhythmically on your heels while bobbing your head in time and looking very seriously at the stage. Occasionally, when the music gets really intense, you are allowed to jump a little or else nod really fast, sort of like a Very Serious version of headbanging.
Thus the revolution will come.
posted by Frowner at 11:46 AM on February 16, 2016 [8 favorites]
"Ixtapica: If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution."
Well, I have learned that you can dance, but it involves folding your arms and rocking back and forth rhythmically on your heels while bobbing your head in time and looking very seriously at the stage. Occasionally, when the music gets really intense, you are allowed to jump a little or else nod really fast, sort of like a Very Serious version of headbanging.
Thus the revolution will come.
posted by Frowner at 11:46 AM on February 16, 2016 [8 favorites]
You can dance if you want to, you can leave you're friends behind... (it's safe!)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:00 PM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:00 PM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
The other thing is that you're allowed to do a sort of forward sway from the hips, but this has to move the whole body, especially the torso - one must not move the hips separately from the rest of the body (I think this has to do with solidarity and the social body) and one must not move the hips out of the vertical line (which represents the correct line of revolutionary thought - no shaking your hips into infantile leftism, for instance). And the hips must not come forward when the rest of the body does not - that is how we get premature anti-fascism.
Sign me the veteran of many, many punk shows by Very Serious bands.
posted by Frowner at 12:07 PM on February 16, 2016 [5 favorites]
Sign me the veteran of many, many punk shows by Very Serious bands.
posted by Frowner at 12:07 PM on February 16, 2016 [5 favorites]
lol
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:15 PM on February 16, 2016
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:15 PM on February 16, 2016
Missing PoesLaw tag, apparently.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:26 PM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by benito.strauss at 12:26 PM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
well conceived in theory but it doesn't work in life
posted by philip-random at 12:45 PM on February 16, 2016
posted by philip-random at 12:45 PM on February 16, 2016
Somehow the dumb college centrists become just dumb in retrospect, but the dumb college radicals always remain radicals.
Well they have the courage to be radically dumb, not that gutless middle-of-the-road neoliberal-consensus dumb.
(Obviously the likes of Tom Friedman put the lie to this.)
posted by atoxyl at 1:17 PM on February 16, 2016
Well they have the courage to be radically dumb, not that gutless middle-of-the-road neoliberal-consensus dumb.
(Obviously the likes of Tom Friedman put the lie to this.)
posted by atoxyl at 1:17 PM on February 16, 2016
But he even called himself "radically centrist," right? What he meant was "tepidly centrist but radically, radically dumb."
posted by atoxyl at 1:19 PM on February 16, 2016
posted by atoxyl at 1:19 PM on February 16, 2016
By the time I was half way through TFA, I was almost certain that it was satire.
By the end of it, I was still uncertain exactly what was being satirized.
posted by yesster at 3:49 PM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
By the end of it, I was still uncertain exactly what was being satirized.
posted by yesster at 3:49 PM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
Rich people
posted by Joseph Gurl at 4:06 PM on February 16, 2016
posted by Joseph Gurl at 4:06 PM on February 16, 2016
It's not satire merely the a clever and well executed exposition on hipster/app culture.
This is not satire but a tirade against the merging of opposites, and the cognitive dissonance that follows is too absurd to contemplate. To speak of marketing is to cast insane demonic spells. To unthinkingly consume marketing is to feel an aspect of normality.
I strongly encourage you not to think, then all become clear.
posted by thebestusernameever at 6:26 PM on February 16, 2016
This is not satire but a tirade against the merging of opposites, and the cognitive dissonance that follows is too absurd to contemplate. To speak of marketing is to cast insane demonic spells. To unthinkingly consume marketing is to feel an aspect of normality.
I strongly encourage you not to think, then all become clear.
posted by thebestusernameever at 6:26 PM on February 16, 2016
In college I knew a young anarchist who sincerely believed tonal music was the evil tool of the oppressors because it lulled you into feeling good and prevented a workers uprising
Bellamy said that when we all had constant access to our choice of music, we'd be so happy we could not help but be good. IIRC. Also predicted the delivery economy, but with giant switched pneumatic tubes...
posted by clew at 9:12 PM on February 16, 2016
Bellamy said that when we all had constant access to our choice of music, we'd be so happy we could not help but be good. IIRC. Also predicted the delivery economy, but with giant switched pneumatic tubes...
posted by clew at 9:12 PM on February 16, 2016
so no, I literally cannot tell what is satire.
"A shoeshine boy from Bootblackr polishes my patent leather Doc Martens, looking up at me in rapt attention as I explain how the bourgeoisie will be overthrown."
"A shoeshine boy from Bootblackr"
posted by bracems at 8:30 AM on February 17, 2016
"A shoeshine boy from Bootblackr polishes my patent leather Doc Martens, looking up at me in rapt attention as I explain how the bourgeoisie will be overthrown."
"A shoeshine boy from Bootblackr"
posted by bracems at 8:30 AM on February 17, 2016
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posted by BuddhaInABucket at 9:00 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]