The leg exercises are pivoting curtsy lunges

February 27, 2016 8:31 AM

How to lose weight in 4 easy steps! (SLYT)
posted by numaner (32 comments total)

Well that's a very nice and positive video. :)
posted by howfar at 8:41 AM on February 27, 2016

This was originally a (great) post by Aaron Bleyaert, credited as the writer on that video.
posted by mhoye at 8:45 AM on February 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

I found this quite entertaining. But while it's maybe true to author's personal experience, it kinda reinforces the old belief that "an attractive woman will be your reward for all this hard work". I would have preferred to see him single but nevertheless happy in the end.
posted by bigendian at 8:46 AM on February 27, 2016 [14 favorites]

This is madness - step one is already taking it too far.
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:51 AM on February 27, 2016 [6 favorites]

Wow, Beck Bennett really went the full De Niro (or is the modern equivalent the full Bale?) for this short. Bravo.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 9:01 AM on February 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

But what if I'm happily married?!? How will I ever lose weight?!?!
posted by blue_beetle at 9:12 AM on February 27, 2016 [13 favorites]

Excuse me, but if you're happily married you shouldn't care about losing weight. Are you not happy? Is it me? Am I too fat?
posted by blairsyprofane at 9:14 AM on February 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

One can vouch for step 3.
posted by Sphinx at 9:18 AM on February 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

In my experience, "an attractive woman will be your reward for all this hard work" ends up having an entirely different ending. But you've got to pick an end someplace, I guess.

I <3 2nd person stories.
posted by billjings at 9:18 AM on February 27, 2016

Nice Conan cameo.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:23 AM on February 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

Yes, this is the video version of a blog post that was posted here a while ago.
posted by koeselitz at 9:29 AM on February 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

It is also possible that you will respond to your broken heart by gaining weight or by throwing yourself into a hobby other than weightlifting and running! Luckily, it is still possible that you will find a new significant other even if you don't obtain a ripped physique!
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:30 AM on February 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Cute video. Loved the last joke.

(But no one is benching double their body weight in under a year of training. That's an elite-level lift. Less than 1% of people WHO WEIGHT TRAIN ever reach that level and if they do, it is generally after many years of regular training.)
posted by kyrademon at 9:55 AM on February 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

I found this quite entertaining. But while it's maybe true to author's personal experience, it kinda reinforces the old belief that "an attractive woman will be your reward for all this hard work". I would have preferred to see him single but nevertheless happy in the end.

I think that, because the narrative itself is actually fairly unimportant to the impact of this story, going with the easiest and most obvious tale was probably the best decision. And they wisely didn't emphasise the "reward" as the point of it. The last shot could easily have been her waiting for him with gym bag in hand, rather than just him happily getting in with his life.
posted by howfar at 9:55 AM on February 27, 2016

This video made me tear up a little. This is actually almost exactly what happened to me. And yeah, you can see the attractive woman at the end as a reward-- but for me opening up and being willing to connect with people again was a big side benefit of exercise (as was staving off the negative self-talk the video describes so well.) Working hard at something teaches you not to be afraid to take risks and that you can do stuff you never thought you could-- and that extends to other areas of life, like making new friends and romantic opportunities too. It doesn't have to be exercise by any stretch of the imagination... But I think one reason people (including me) go there after a rough breakup is because our culture places so much emphasis on the way we look that a romantic rejection feels, even if you KNOW better, like a rejection of your body, stem to stern. For me, exercise wasn't about looking better (I don't look substantially different), it's about rejecting the narrative that my body's worth is the way people see it. My body's worth is that I bench pressed 75 this week or the first time. My body's worth is that I have the best knees in my Krav Maga class. My body's worth is now attached to things that I do, that no one else even has to know about, that no one can take from me.

Also reverse pivoting curtsy lunges are fucking brutal and if you ever see anyone doing them you should be afraid of them bc they can probably snap your neck with their thighs like it's a tiny twig.
posted by WidgetAlley at 9:59 AM on February 27, 2016 [15 favorites]

I actually lost 38% of my body mass in the 18 months after a terrible breakup. It wasn't so much the broken heart as the fact that we had to carry on living together for three months after the relationship ended. I was also broke, so I ended up going for five to ten mile walks nearly every evening, because having to spend an evening in a flat with a person who now hates you is an excellent motivator.
posted by howfar at 10:00 AM on February 27, 2016 [7 favorites]

Huh. In the original blog, the line is, "That night, you deadlift your body weight" instead of, "That night, you bench press double your body weight". *DEADLIFTING* *1x* your bodyweight is between novice and intermediate level and is absolutely a thing that a human person could theoretically achieve in under a year and have every reason be really proud of if they did.

WHY DID THEY CHANGE IT TO SOMETHING THAT MAKES NO SENSE WHEN IT MADE SENSE IN THE ORIGINAL DID THEY WANT TO MAKE ME CRAZY? DID THEY? DID THEY? WAS THAT THE GOAL HERE?
posted by kyrademon at 10:03 AM on February 27, 2016 [16 favorites]

Also whoever wrote this GETS the slow slide into gym culture. The first time I lifted my shirt sleeve to marvel at a delt peeking out from my arm in one of the full length mirrors, I realized what I'd done too late and almost died from shame. Now I'm fucking shameless about taking Snapchats of stuff on my rest in between sets.

I'll never do curls in the squat rack though. Some things are going too far.
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:07 AM on February 27, 2016 [7 favorites]

Who the fuck writes their sixes like that?

ZANER BLOSER MAFIA REPRAZENT
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:22 AM on February 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am Jack's viral video.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:38 AM on February 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

Aaron Bleyaert
That explains the Conan cameo .
posted by PenDevil at 11:19 AM on February 27, 2016

1 beer does not equal seven slices of bread unless the 1 beer is the size of a bucket.

1 beer = 1 slice of bread in terms of carbs
1 beer = 2 slices of bread in over all calories.

I rounded up to the nearest slice of bread.
posted by srboisvert at 11:47 AM on February 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

Excuse me, but if you're happily married you shouldn't care about losing weight.

LOL tell that to my inner voice
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:32 PM on February 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

1 beer does not equal seven slices of bread unless the 1 beer is the size of a bucket.


Hey- you keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:20 PM on February 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

Ok, but most of us don't drink just one beer, so it works.

Also I would almost certainly pour myself into looking for a new job rather than keep working with my ex, unless I were up for some giant promotion or something.
posted by emjaybee at 1:23 PM on February 27, 2016

What about a bucket of bread pudding? Asking for a friend.
posted by zippy at 2:14 PM on February 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

Also I would almost certainly pour myself into looking for a new job rather than keep working with my ex, unless I were up for some giant promotion or something.

If I worked as a Serta salesman, most definitely yes.

If I worked as a tv comedy writer, as Bleyaert did (still does?) it might be a tougher gig for me to give up.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:31 PM on February 27, 2016

Sorry about the double, the YouTube link didn't come back as being in a previous, and "lose weight" didn't come back with that post (or maybe I'm blind).
posted by numaner at 5:09 PM on February 27, 2016

My husband and I are in the middle of the endless routine of chicken breasts and working out. This is a delightful video and I think I'm going to look up reverse pivoting curtsy lunges.
posted by kimberussell at 5:33 PM on February 27, 2016

Numaner, I don't think it's a double; the video is based on a blog post that was popular a few months ago that surfaced here.
posted by rednikki at 10:03 PM on February 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

1 beer does not equal seven slices of bread unless the 1 beer is the size of a bucket.

Thank GOD I was so worried.
posted by bracems at 10:30 AM on February 28, 2016

My husband and I are in the middle of the endless routine of chicken breasts and working out. This is a delightful video and I think I'm going to look up reverse pivoting curtsy lunges.

You're both clear on step three being optional, right?
posted by mhoye at 6:44 AM on February 29, 2016 [1 favorite]