How magic helps me live with pain and trauma

April 20, 2016 10:44 AM

I love my cane, but I rarely hold onto it without rage..."My first cane was black like tourmaline, a crystal used as an aid against jealousy, negative thoughts, destructive forces, and internal conflicts; I’d adorned it with Hello Kitty stickers."
posted by Anonymous (13 comments total)

Broke ankle. Used cane. No magic. Discovered weed and found magic. I no longer use my cane.
posted by Postroad at 10:54 AM on April 20, 2016 [6 favorites]

Thanks for posting this. She is a wonderful writer. I loved the solutions she has found for herself.
posted by cairnoflore at 10:55 AM on April 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

Discovering weed inside a cane beats discovering an illegal weapon, Postroad.
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:08 AM on April 20, 2016

I got surprisingly far in this article before realizing she wasn't talking about learning magic tricks as a means of physical therapy or a coping mechanism.
posted by LSK at 11:08 AM on April 20, 2016

This resonated strongly for me, and I think it will for the ladies with whom I shared it. Also, that whole website is pretty awesome. Thanks.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 11:54 AM on April 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

My people. Thank you for sharing. May light shine on those in the darkest places, and those who love passionately and see magic within life and the world soon find each other and the laughter of those who need to mock stand back and see how their laughter has been influenced by centuries of hatred of the divine feminine, subjugation of the healers and spiritually awake, often in the very hands of those who believe in a magically man in the sky who rules all (especially inferior women!) and yet they would laugh at those who believe in magic?

Those who have been disempowered by these attitudes, may their power return, may true healing begin. We are stronger when we support each other and heal the wounds as social beings we need love and our true selves to be seen to connect, it is a health need. It is time.

For those who don't believe in magic, excuse my ramblings, they are not for you. :)
posted by xarnop at 12:23 PM on April 20, 2016 [19 favorites]

Yes - For me, magic (in at least one of its manifestations) is the power to create & (more importantly) transform meaning. That's why so many of its traditions are often about "naming".

Such power is very helpful in the face of this kind of shit, something I know personally very well due to unending and severe-to-the-point-of-crippling back pain which only one doctor has ever recognized (and then failed to ameliorate)-

"But it felt futile—I knew they wouldn’t see me. I was crazy and I was in pain. I’d been told directly and indirectly that I was making it up, exaggerating. I wasn’t sick, I was lazy. I didn’t need support, I was manipulative and attention-seeking."

If you don't magically transform this shit, it will kill you.
posted by jammy at 2:57 PM on April 20, 2016 [3 favorites]

I don't 'get' spirituality, but this has helped me understand what it can mean and why it's so significant to many.
posted by Braeburn at 2:58 PM on April 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was recently diagnosed with lupus. It took 15 years to get someone to believe me, that I wasn't hysterical, that these things were happening to my body, that I was failing, and losing hope, and began to think that maybe they were right, maybe I was just destined to be miserable until I died. If it hadn't been for my support network of magical thinkers, I'm not sure I would have made it long enough to finally find a doctor that would listen to me, and run simple blood tests, and put me on medication that has returned to me my ability to do so many things again. I too have magical thinking about my cane, but as I need it less and less, this article has helped me realise all the power that I stored in it, and how much fear, and so much resentment, and how I too looked for the magic in plants growing in impossible places, and rocks and shells and the totems I created, to remember what it is to feel normal, to relive walking on those riversides, or sitting in that field watching the clouds. Magical thinking is eyerolled away as handwavium nonsense, but without it, I wouldn't be here. It's the only thing that gave me hope. And I'll be honest, I have magical thinking about my new drug protocol, because you guys, it's astonishing to me that I can go a whole day on my feet, that I'm not reduced to tears at the thought of getting dressed, that I've finally scheduled the trip I've always wanted to take, and this summer I'm going to climb a volcano, and ride a helicopter to the highest cliffs, and dive into blue water and consider myself baptised in the glory of Pele's beauty. Yes, the drugs work, but magic is what let me live long enough to find the drugs.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 3:26 PM on April 20, 2016 [12 favorites]

This article and the comments here remind me of how much the witchy paraphernalia of girlhood meant to me when I was going through the hardest time of my life. I felt like no one heard me and when people saw me it was only to hurt me. I am still working through a lot of internalized dislike of femininity-- it's been a burden I was often eager to get rid of-- but the one place I really connected to it was that divine feminine, in stories of witches and dark goddesses and girls with magic powers. I had a little shrine to Hekate. My best friend was into that stuff too, and--this is a little embarrassing but true-- I told her that I had been abused just after playing ouija board one night. I was never able to say the words before and didn't get the strength to say them to anyone else for maybe 20 years, but I thought that if we could share spirit guides and ghostly apparitions, she could share my worst secret. Love and connection with others is a kind of magic, one most precious to those who are hurting most. Thank you for this conversation.
posted by fair isle sock at 3:47 PM on April 20, 2016 [15 favorites]

Yes, fair isle sock, yes. The "witchy paraphernalia of girlhood", exactly. I had a little shrine too. I needed it for very different reasons from you, but it got me through a hard time. And tapping that energy is something I still do occasionally - especially since I became a mother.
posted by town of cats at 4:49 PM on April 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

I don't 'get' spirituality, but this has helped me understand what it can mean and why it's so significant to many.

Yes, this. I am debating whether to send this to my mother, who is struggling MIGHTILY with the identity implications of needing a cane even temporarily (for a back/knee injury) and who is fairly deep into magic of various sorts. I just don't know whether she'd receive it in the intended spirit or take it (as she is wont to) as a sign that I am finally the "true believer" she wants me to be.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:56 AM on April 21, 2016

This was beautiful and I loved it. Thanks for sharing it.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 7:50 PM on April 21, 2016