Maybe we need to find more non-edible uses for it
May 2, 2016 12:58 PM Subscribe
Consumerist: The U.S. has a giant cheese surplus and unfortunately, this is a bad thing. Bloomberg graph: Welcome to Cheese Mountain. (n.b. not a real, visitable, place) nymag: "Our great nation apparently had an inventory of 1.2 billion pounds at the end of March, the highest in 30 years." FoodDive: "Startups may see an opportunity to create marketable products out of inexpensive ingredients, and more cheese-based product startups could pop up and generate interest from investors and major manufacturers." Mashable: "Do your part. Eat more cheese."
Cheese Mountain. (n.b. not a real, visitable, place)
Well then why are we even doing this?
posted by Wretch729 at 1:01 PM on May 2, 2016 [34 favorites]
Well then why are we even doing this?
posted by Wretch729 at 1:01 PM on May 2, 2016 [34 favorites]
I, for one, am interested in moving to this cheese mountain you speak of.
posted by Sophie1 at 1:01 PM on May 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 1:01 PM on May 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
More than half the supply consists of American cheese alone, meaning there is about 600,000 pounds of the stuff just hanging out
I am uninterested in doing my part to solve this problem.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:01 PM on May 2, 2016 [54 favorites]
I am uninterested in doing my part to solve this problem.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:01 PM on May 2, 2016 [54 favorites]
American is the least-motivating cheese.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [26 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 1:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [26 favorites]
You wouldn't think cheese-based product startups could be in short supply.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:02 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:02 PM on May 2, 2016
Half of the cheese surplus is American cheese slices, which explains why there's so much of it. American cheese slices are really only good for two things:
1. Old-school cheeseburgers
2. Studiously un-fancy grilled cheeses
Other than that, bleah.
posted by mightygodking at 1:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [33 favorites]
1. Old-school cheeseburgers
2. Studiously un-fancy grilled cheeses
Other than that, bleah.
posted by mightygodking at 1:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [33 favorites]
so Cheese Mountain should totally be a theme park, right? a 100% cheese-based, cheese-themed amusement park for eating cheese. I'm gonna sign up for a season pass!
posted by supermedusa at 1:04 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 1:04 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
"Our great nation apparently had an inventory of 1.2 billion pounds at the end of March, the highest in 30 years."
"Over 50% is American cheese."
So we have a surplus of 0.6 billion pounds of cheese. And an equal amount of something called "cheese food." Ew.
posted by explosion at 1:05 PM on May 2, 2016 [14 favorites]
"Over 50% is American cheese."
So we have a surplus of 0.6 billion pounds of cheese. And an equal amount of something called "cheese food." Ew.
posted by explosion at 1:05 PM on May 2, 2016 [14 favorites]
Mostly interested in Havarti.
posted by Sophie1 at 1:05 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 1:05 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
Cheese Mountain sounds less exciting when called by its full name, "Shitty Cheese Mountain"
posted by anthill at 1:07 PM on May 2, 2016 [21 favorites]
posted by anthill at 1:07 PM on May 2, 2016 [21 favorites]
As a white dude I can't get into Crone IsIand -- which is cool. But, could I maybe put up a little cabin on Cheese Mountain?
But more seriously, is this what happens when you have price supports for the same thing in two producer markets at the same time?
posted by wenestvedt at 1:09 PM on May 2, 2016
But more seriously, is this what happens when you have price supports for the same thing in two producer markets at the same time?
posted by wenestvedt at 1:09 PM on May 2, 2016
so Cheese Mountain should totally be a theme park, right? a 100% cheese-based, cheese-themed amusement park for eating cheese. I'm gonna sign up for a season pass!
Also I've been looking for an excuse to visit Wisconsin.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:09 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Also I've been looking for an excuse to visit Wisconsin.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:09 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
600,000,000 lbs of it is that flavorless orange American cheese.
Ewwwwwwww
posted by Hoopo at 1:12 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Ewwwwwwww
posted by Hoopo at 1:12 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
The U.S. has a giant cheese surplus
Cheese Mountain (n.b. not a real, visitable, place)
Are all economic problems this easy?
posted by michaelh at 1:12 PM on May 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
Cheese Mountain (n.b. not a real, visitable, place)
Are all economic problems this easy?
posted by michaelh at 1:12 PM on May 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
We've created a munster
posted by rouftop at 1:12 PM on May 2, 2016 [88 favorites]
posted by rouftop at 1:12 PM on May 2, 2016 [88 favorites]
We'll need to consider the situation caerphilly.
posted by Iridic at 1:15 PM on May 2, 2016 [24 favorites]
posted by Iridic at 1:15 PM on May 2, 2016 [24 favorites]
No gouda can come of this
posted by daisystomper at 1:16 PM on May 2, 2016 [25 favorites]
posted by daisystomper at 1:16 PM on May 2, 2016 [25 favorites]
Cheese Mountain. (n.b. not a real, visitable, place)
*scowls, throws down suitcase, stomps out of the room*
posted by cooker girl at 1:17 PM on May 2, 2016 [29 favorites]
*scowls, throws down suitcase, stomps out of the room*
posted by cooker girl at 1:17 PM on May 2, 2016 [29 favorites]
Despite lactose intolerance, as a denizen of Wisconsin, I am on it.
posted by drezdn at 1:17 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by drezdn at 1:17 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Bloomberg graph
That guy's a real cheese whiz.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:17 PM on May 2, 2016 [10 favorites]
That guy's a real cheese whiz.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:17 PM on May 2, 2016 [10 favorites]
American cheese is good for the right purposes, some choice snobbery up in here.
posted by Ferreous at 1:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by Ferreous at 1:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [13 favorites]
scowls, throws down suitcase, stomps out of the room*
Can I interest you in a cheese castle?
posted by drezdn at 1:19 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Can I interest you in a cheese castle?
posted by drezdn at 1:19 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
some choice snobbery up in here.
You mean "Who snubbed my cheese?"
posted by octobersurprise at 1:21 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
You mean "Who snubbed my cheese?"
posted by octobersurprise at 1:21 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Report: Average American Consuming 4 Ounces Of Cheese Right Now
posted by Cookiebastard at 1:22 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by Cookiebastard at 1:22 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
Cheese Mountain (n.b. not a real, visitable, place)
Oh, so economists created it? Maybe from their abstract, spherical cows which exist in a vacuum, hunh? No? From actual milk from actuals cows, in like California and Wisconsin? Oh. OK.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:23 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oh, so economists created it? Maybe from their abstract, spherical cows which exist in a vacuum, hunh? No? From actual milk from actuals cows, in like California and Wisconsin? Oh. OK.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:23 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm frankly a little surprised about this. I manage a food pantry and buy about 5,000 pounds of food a week. Some of the product I purchase are items donated from manufactures or grocery stores who have a product that's not popular or oversupply, or near or past its best by date.
Among donated food, Cheese is like moon rock. I'm at the food bank 2 days a week, go into the walk-in fridge to see what dairy items they just received, peruse through small cardboard boxes. I find it in limited quantities, usually up to a dozen pieces, once a month or so. Cheese, relative to other dairy items, has long storage life.
(On 2nd thought, mozzarella balls are an exception, a local dairy occasionally donates them - but their popularity is near non-existant and most of my clients don't know how to use it.
posted by fizzix at 1:23 PM on May 2, 2016 [10 favorites]
It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
This is me (Chaffy cartoon)
posted by Melismata at 1:24 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is me (Chaffy cartoon)
posted by Melismata at 1:24 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Too big to Wensleydale.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:24 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:24 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Based on the recipes submitted to allrecipies I can't believe there is cheese surplus anywhere in the United States
posted by The Whelk at 1:25 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 1:25 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
American cheese slices are really only good for two things:
1. Old-school cheeseburgers
2. Studiously un-fancy grilled cheeses
You forgot their many applications in the building trades, such as insulation, caulking, and waterproofing.
posted by Naberius at 1:25 PM on May 2, 2016 [27 favorites]
1. Old-school cheeseburgers
2. Studiously un-fancy grilled cheeses
You forgot their many applications in the building trades, such as insulation, caulking, and waterproofing.
posted by Naberius at 1:25 PM on May 2, 2016 [27 favorites]
You forgot their many applications in the building trades, such as insulation, caulking, and waterproofing.
Thanks; that's useful for a future FPP.
posted by Wordshore at 1:27 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
Thanks; that's useful for a future FPP.
posted by Wordshore at 1:27 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
I can remember getting some great government cheese when I got laid-off during the Reagan years, maybe it's time to hand out free cheese again...
posted by ackptui at 1:29 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by ackptui at 1:29 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Oh, to live on Cheese Mountain
With the cheddars and the queso blanco,
You can eat brie on Cheese Mountain
Though you're thinking that
you'd like some reggiano,
You'd really like some reggiano.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:34 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
With the cheddars and the queso blanco,
You can eat brie on Cheese Mountain
Though you're thinking that
you'd like some reggiano,
You'd really like some reggiano.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:34 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
As befits my MeFi name, the only way I know to even go to the grocery store is when I'm running low on cheese.
And thanks to drezdn, I'm planning my next vacation around going to Wisconsin's Cheese Castle.
If we can't go to Cheese Mountain, maybe Cheese Mountain can come to us? With enough global warming, I fear we'll become a fondue version of the Great Molasses Flood.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 1:34 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
And thanks to drezdn, I'm planning my next vacation around going to Wisconsin's Cheese Castle.
If we can't go to Cheese Mountain, maybe Cheese Mountain can come to us? With enough global warming, I fear we'll become a fondue version of the Great Molasses Flood.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 1:34 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
THIS
POST
IS
NOT
WHAT
I
WAS
PROMISED
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:42 PM on May 2, 2016 [13 favorites]
POST
IS
NOT
WHAT
I
WAS
PROMISED
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:42 PM on May 2, 2016 [13 favorites]
Heh, yeah, Tpinwiwp is my favorite cheese alright. *nods sagely*
posted by michaelh at 1:44 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by michaelh at 1:44 PM on May 2, 2016
It's a hat.
It's a brooch!
It's a pterodactyl!!
posted by Sophie1 at 1:49 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
It's a brooch!
It's a pterodactyl!!
posted by Sophie1 at 1:49 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
We understand, Homer. After all, we are from the land of cheese!
La la . . . la lalala la la
posted by petebest at 1:49 PM on May 2, 2016
La la . . . la lalala la la
posted by petebest at 1:49 PM on May 2, 2016
American cheese is also excellent for tuna melts and for making cheesy scrambled eggs. Whenever I want an easy, cheesy slice of something mild and melty, that's the cheese I reach for. American cheese has its place.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:50 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:50 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
Well, I'm doing my part right now by eating a webcomic-inspired chupaqueso—basically a small bean and cheese burrito, but without the beans, and with the tortilla replaced with a disk of fried cheese. So really just gooey, melted cheese wrapped in a shell of fried, crispy cheese. Delicious!
posted by JiBB at 1:51 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by JiBB at 1:51 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
600,000,000 lbs of it is that flavorless orange American cheese.
*nawm*
599,999,999
*nawm*
599,999,998
*nawm*
599,999,997...
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:55 PM on May 2, 2016 [17 favorites]
*nawm*
599,999,999
*nawm*
599,999,998
*nawm*
599,999,997...
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:55 PM on May 2, 2016 [17 favorites]
Really, the problem with government cheese was all of the needs-based limitations. What we need to do is implement some sort of basic cheese income where every American gets a flat rate of cheese, regardless of circumstance. Obviously people who want more or better cheeses will still seek employment to meet these desires, but no longer will people be forced to work menial and pointless jobs just to put cheese on the table.
posted by ckape at 1:57 PM on May 2, 2016 [37 favorites]
posted by ckape at 1:57 PM on May 2, 2016 [37 favorites]
Damn, TheWhiteSkull, I've done that with slices but never complete pounds of American cheese before.
posted by infinitewindow at 1:57 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 1:57 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Yeah, American cheese... What the fuck. If we are going to build Cheese Mountain, could it at least be sharp cheddar?
You know your system is all kinds of messed up if somehow you are funding the creation of a surplus of American cheese. :shudder:
posted by Windopaene at 2:00 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
You know your system is all kinds of messed up if somehow you are funding the creation of a surplus of American cheese. :shudder:
posted by Windopaene at 2:00 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
I think I've gone blind.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [21 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [21 favorites]
Square single American cheese food product is the only cheese that works on an open tasted grilled cheese samdwhich on rye. The fact that it bubbles like cheap plastic is part of the appeal.
posted by The Whelk at 2:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 2:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
I find it hard to comprehend how the first world can have problems like this, let alone an obesity epidemic, while so many people on our planet are simultaneously starving to death. It reminds me that the question is not one of resources, but motivation.
posted by allkindsoftime at 2:07 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by allkindsoftime at 2:07 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
I find it hard to comprehend...
Transportation logistics and government corruption are both good topics to study.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 2:19 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Transportation logistics and government corruption are both good topics to study.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 2:19 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
On 2nd thought, mozzarella balls are an exception, a local dairy occasionally donates them - but their popularity is near non-existant and most of my clients don't know how to use it.
STEP 1: PICK UP IN HAND
STEP 2: CONSUME AS IF IT'S AN APPLE
posted by indubitable at 2:19 PM on May 2, 2016 [23 favorites]
STEP 1: PICK UP IN HAND
STEP 2: CONSUME AS IF IT'S AN APPLE
posted by indubitable at 2:19 PM on May 2, 2016 [23 favorites]
I find it hard to comprehend...
Transportation logistics and government corruption are both good topics to study.
Oh the irony...
posted by infini at 2:22 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
On 2nd thought, mozzarella balls are an exception, a local dairy occasionally donates them - but their popularity is near non-existant and most of my clients don't know how to use it.
STEP 1: PICK UP IN HAND
STEP 2: CONSUME AS IF IT'S AN APPLE
Please.
Slice with tomatoes into bowl. Drizzle 3 drops of sesame oil. Sprinkle some Icelandic flake salt and lemon juice.
Eat.
posted by infini at 2:24 PM on May 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
What we need is Uber for Cheese.
posted by spitbull at 2:25 PM on May 2, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by spitbull at 2:25 PM on May 2, 2016 [10 favorites]
Sure, if you think other people may be watching.
posted by indubitable at 2:26 PM on May 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by indubitable at 2:26 PM on May 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
Food surpluses in a country with so many hungry people seems like the most-solvable problem ever. But what do I know.
posted by emjaybee at 2:32 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 2:32 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
A team of the snarkiest writers locked in a room couldn't come up than a better metaphor for how fucked the US is than 600,000,000 pounds surplus of The Worst Cheese, proudly titled American, sitting in storage while entrepreneurs try to find a way to get rich off this.
posted by cj_ at 2:36 PM on May 2, 2016 [36 favorites]
posted by cj_ at 2:36 PM on May 2, 2016 [36 favorites]
FINALLY
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:40 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:40 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
wait no this post is a LIE and it raised my hopes only to dash them
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:41 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:41 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
in summary, wordshore you are a poop
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:46 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:46 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
American cheese is good for the right purposes,
According to my roughly 6-year-old self: Unwrap slice. Fold cheese in half. Fold in half again widthwise. Fold the resulting square in half again. Keep folding until you have the tallest, narrowest cheeserectangle in the history of physics (corners slightly blunted from all the folding and a little grey with the gunk that was on your 6-year-old hands). Then, and only then, consume.
Aghast stares from any adults in the room are a bonus.
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:50 PM on May 2, 2016 [15 favorites]
According to my roughly 6-year-old self: Unwrap slice. Fold cheese in half. Fold in half again widthwise. Fold the resulting square in half again. Keep folding until you have the tallest, narrowest cheeserectangle in the history of physics (corners slightly blunted from all the folding and a little grey with the gunk that was on your 6-year-old hands). Then, and only then, consume.
Aghast stares from any adults in the room are a bonus.
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:50 PM on May 2, 2016 [15 favorites]
At the Cheese Mountain Theme Park, I assume squares of American cheese will be used to pave the walkways. Careful use of differently manufactured American cheese with attendant slight color variations can provide a subtly tessalated pattern for us to walk on.
Now if you excuse me, I need to go design the cheese-shaped bumper cars, the swiss-cheese-shaped climbing aparatus, and - of course - the Gouda-Gouda Swings.
posted by julen at 2:51 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Now if you excuse me, I need to go design the cheese-shaped bumper cars, the swiss-cheese-shaped climbing aparatus, and - of course - the Gouda-Gouda Swings.
posted by julen at 2:51 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: Some choice snobbery up in here
Metafilter: an easy, cheesy slice of something mild and melty
My contribution to Cheese Mountain is a log flume ride with cars that look like bread sticks and edible melted cheese instead of water.
posted by bleep at 2:58 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Metafilter: an easy, cheesy slice of something mild and melty
My contribution to Cheese Mountain is a log flume ride with cars that look like bread sticks and edible melted cheese instead of water.
posted by bleep at 2:58 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
so basically every day should be Big Block of Cheese Day
posted by shiny blue object at 3:00 PM on May 2, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by shiny blue object at 3:00 PM on May 2, 2016 [7 favorites]
As noted in the other of today's cheese threads, real American cheese is actually cheese and is perfectly appropriate in a number of applications, including my favorite use of nacho cheese sauce (mixed about 50:50 with sharp cheddar). The "singles" wrapped in plastic are Not Real Cheese and should be shunned.
Besides, American cheese is about as American as French fries are French. "Americanning" is a term of art describing the blending of meltables into a new product. True fact.
posted by backseatpilot at 3:04 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
Besides, American cheese is about as American as French fries are French. "Americanning" is a term of art describing the blending of meltables into a new product. True fact.
posted by backseatpilot at 3:04 PM on May 2, 2016 [6 favorites]
I forgot to add some cracked pepper
posted by infini at 3:06 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by infini at 3:06 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
American cheese is good for the right purposes, some choice snobbery up in here.
Are you serious? I'm a snob if I don't like your favorite processed cheese product?
posted by Hoopo at 3:28 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Are you serious? I'm a snob if I don't like your favorite processed cheese product?
posted by Hoopo at 3:28 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
My act of cheese humanitarianism:
I was in a grocery store with a pretty decent cheese selection. This fellow was asking one of the staff about lactose-free cheese (I cook for someone at home who is lactose intolerant). I pointed out that aged cheeses will not have much in the way of lactose - I advised him to look at the nutritional labelling.
"Lactose is a sugar, right? See this one here? 0g of sugar!"
"Oh!"
"Yes!" I replied. "Almost no lactose! Maybe trace amounts, but it should be ok. Just avoid the fresh cheeses - mozzerella, farmer's, paneer, etc."
"Thank you!"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:31 PM on May 2, 2016 [15 favorites]
I was in a grocery store with a pretty decent cheese selection. This fellow was asking one of the staff about lactose-free cheese (I cook for someone at home who is lactose intolerant). I pointed out that aged cheeses will not have much in the way of lactose - I advised him to look at the nutritional labelling.
"Lactose is a sugar, right? See this one here? 0g of sugar!"
"Oh!"
"Yes!" I replied. "Almost no lactose! Maybe trace amounts, but it should be ok. Just avoid the fresh cheeses - mozzerella, farmer's, paneer, etc."
"Thank you!"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:31 PM on May 2, 2016 [15 favorites]
It reminds me that the question is not one of resources, but motivation.
Does anyone know if there are any charity/aid organizations that focus on providing transportation for various other international aid organizations?
IIRC, about 12-15 years ago, there was a huge bumper crop of potatoes in the US, and vast quantities of potatoes were left to rot that year, because the cost of transporting them to places where they would be of help (even within the US) was deemed by many to be inordinately expensive and impractical.
Having a few large organizations that focus on coordinating and managing transport for multiple organizations would seem to be a good thing, that has the potential to reduce the operational costs for many different aid organizations simultaneously.
posted by chambers at 3:31 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Does anyone know if there are any charity/aid organizations that focus on providing transportation for various other international aid organizations?
IIRC, about 12-15 years ago, there was a huge bumper crop of potatoes in the US, and vast quantities of potatoes were left to rot that year, because the cost of transporting them to places where they would be of help (even within the US) was deemed by many to be inordinately expensive and impractical.
Having a few large organizations that focus on coordinating and managing transport for multiple organizations would seem to be a good thing, that has the potential to reduce the operational costs for many different aid organizations simultaneously.
posted by chambers at 3:31 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
U.S. prices have also started falling, with cheddar on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange trading this week at a five-year low.
Are these contracts for immediate delivery or futures? Asking for a friend.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:35 PM on May 2, 2016 [7 favorites]
Are these contracts for immediate delivery or futures? Asking for a friend.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:35 PM on May 2, 2016 [7 favorites]
Make American Grate Again!
posted by Chitownfats at 3:37 PM on May 2, 2016 [24 favorites]
posted by Chitownfats at 3:37 PM on May 2, 2016 [24 favorites]
The fact that it bubbles like cheap plastic is part of the appeal.
That's because it is cheap plastic.
posted by MikeKD at 3:37 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
That's because it is cheap plastic.
posted by MikeKD at 3:37 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Ah. Here we go:
Cash-settled cheese futures quotes
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:39 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Cash-settled cheese futures quotes
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:39 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
One evening as the sun went down and the fondue fires were a-burning
Down the track came a Sconnie hikin', and he said 'boys, I'm not turning
I'm headed for a land that's far away, beside the easy-cheez fountain
So come with me we'll go and see the great American Cheese Mountain.
At the American Cheese Mountain, you've got twenty feet of Brie
You've got Squeaky Curds and Limburger, Colby Jack and Havarti
Ricotta, Swiss and Gouda, Quesillo and Paneer
Oh I've got my crackers and I've got my bread
So much cheese, I'm in over my head
I'm gonna do what the government said
And eat a ton of chee-eese.
posted by Elly Vortex at 3:46 PM on May 2, 2016 [23 favorites]
Down the track came a Sconnie hikin', and he said 'boys, I'm not turning
I'm headed for a land that's far away, beside the easy-cheez fountain
So come with me we'll go and see the great American Cheese Mountain.
At the American Cheese Mountain, you've got twenty feet of Brie
You've got Squeaky Curds and Limburger, Colby Jack and Havarti
Ricotta, Swiss and Gouda, Quesillo and Paneer
Oh I've got my crackers and I've got my bread
So much cheese, I'm in over my head
I'm gonna do what the government said
And eat a ton of chee-eese.
posted by Elly Vortex at 3:46 PM on May 2, 2016 [23 favorites]
Due, possibly, to my inner Imp of the Perverse, my immediate thought can be summarized as I CAN PROBABLY MAKE SOME PANEER THIS EVENING TO ADD TO THE SURPLUS. You know, doing my bit for America.
posted by Rush-That-Speaks at 3:55 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Rush-That-Speaks at 3:55 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
because of this thread, my contribution to the proposed MeFi Cookbook is going to contain goddamned American cheese
凸(ﾒﾟ皿ﾟ)凸
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:56 PM on May 2, 2016 [11 favorites]
凸(ﾒﾟ皿ﾟ)凸
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:56 PM on May 2, 2016 [11 favorites]
TBQH, the Best Macaroni & Cheese In The World uses Velveeta (my mom's recipe, heavily altered from the 1964 Good Housekeeping Cookbook) -- so maybe I need to make more mac & cheese....
Also, nice overlap of MeFi threads. (note that both garner "Make America Grate Again" puns.)
posted by epersonae at 4:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also, nice overlap of MeFi threads. (note that both garner "Make America Grate Again" puns.)
posted by epersonae at 4:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
The U.S. has a giant cheese surplus
Then lower the price so I can buy and eat it. Sheesh.
posted by JHarris at 4:37 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Then lower the price so I can buy and eat it. Sheesh.
posted by JHarris at 4:37 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
god i just had a terrible flashback to that thread like 7 years ago where some guy was insisting that provolone was a gross fake processed american-made cheese like kraft singles and i may have slipped into a fugue state and committed atrocities
posted by poffin boffin at 4:39 PM on May 2, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 4:39 PM on May 2, 2016 [7 favorites]
Does this surplus have anything to do with Kit Kat's new melon and cheese flavour?
posted by clawsoon at 4:45 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by clawsoon at 4:45 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
also the whole "government cheese" thing is kind of a dead giveaway in the general public's loathing of american cheese.
posted by poffin boffin at 4:47 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by poffin boffin at 4:47 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
those Kit Kats sound hell of good and the EEEWWWLOLJAPAN tone of that writeup was annoying af
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:52 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:52 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
If you make mozzarella from whole milk, you can further make ricotta, then brunost if you're feeling super crazy.
posted by Ferreous at 5:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Ferreous at 5:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
This month is SUPPOSED to be "Keep MetaFilter Weird", NOT "Keep MetaFilter Cheesy".
I must confess that I share some of the responsibility for the cheese surplus. First, I quit basic American Cheese entirely when Kraft brought out individually wrapped slices of Velveeta (my favorite not-really-a-cheese-but-an-incredible-simulation which I had previously used mostly to improve the 'meltability factor' of such things as Mac & Cheese and Queso Dip while not totally sacrificing flavor). But my shopping habits for the last few years had included hitting the Deli Dept. of Costco (just north of the rotisserie chickens) and picking up 2-pound packages of pre-sliced Sharp Cheddar and either Muenster or Havarti every three months (and a quart-plus jar of shredded Parmigiano-Reggiano every six months). But cleaning out my fridge last weekend I discovered that over a half-year after my last 'cheese run', I was less than 50% through consuming my cheeses of choice... in fact, there were traces of blue mold on the outside slices of my Havarti! I will try to increase my cheese consumption immediately... for America!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:23 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
I must confess that I share some of the responsibility for the cheese surplus. First, I quit basic American Cheese entirely when Kraft brought out individually wrapped slices of Velveeta (my favorite not-really-a-cheese-but-an-incredible-simulation which I had previously used mostly to improve the 'meltability factor' of such things as Mac & Cheese and Queso Dip while not totally sacrificing flavor). But my shopping habits for the last few years had included hitting the Deli Dept. of Costco (just north of the rotisserie chickens) and picking up 2-pound packages of pre-sliced Sharp Cheddar and either Muenster or Havarti every three months (and a quart-plus jar of shredded Parmigiano-Reggiano every six months). But cleaning out my fridge last weekend I discovered that over a half-year after my last 'cheese run', I was less than 50% through consuming my cheeses of choice... in fact, there were traces of blue mold on the outside slices of my Havarti! I will try to increase my cheese consumption immediately... for America!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:23 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
I'm a snob if I don't like your favorite processed cheese product?
Forget it, Jake. It's theinternet cheese aisle.
(I am eating prosciutto, pears, mozzarella, and a cheap rose right now.)
posted by octobersurprise at 5:57 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Forget it, Jake. It's the
(I am eating prosciutto, pears, mozzarella, and a cheap rose right now.)
posted by octobersurprise at 5:57 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
One minute the government suits are all "eat less cheese, it's full of gooey fats and cholesterols and will kill you forever" and I'm like "no, I will continue to eat all the cheese, I don't care if I die" and now suddenly the government is saying "eat more cheese, we have too much cheese, cheese is great" and I'm placed in the uncomfortable position of either eating less cheese because I am anti-establishment, or selling out and continuing to eat the same amount of cheese I did before (which was a lot).
Maybe the problem here is that (allegedly) three of the top 5 best-selling cheeses in the US are mozzarella, jack, and swiss, which are all rubbery flavourless nothing cheeses that squeak as you gnash them. I'm not surprised there's surfeit of those, you might as well be cramming a handful of (pre-rinsed) elastic bands into your mouth.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:04 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Maybe the problem here is that (allegedly) three of the top 5 best-selling cheeses in the US are mozzarella, jack, and swiss, which are all rubbery flavourless nothing cheeses that squeak as you gnash them. I'm not surprised there's surfeit of those, you might as well be cramming a handful of (pre-rinsed) elastic bands into your mouth.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:04 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm not surprised there's surfeit of those, you might as well be cramming a handful of (pre-rinsed) elastic bands into your mouth.
Yeah, but some of us like elastic bands.
posted by teponaztli at 6:05 PM on May 2, 2016
Yeah, but some of us like elastic bands.
posted by teponaztli at 6:05 PM on May 2, 2016
There is amazing machine called the "pig" aka "swine" or "hog".
This machine turns excess food into bacon! This includes cheese and cheese byproducts.
I repeat this machine turns excess food into bacon. It's really quite amazing. Requires some fencing and some shade but really mostly takes care of itself.
It can also make copies of itself and till your fields.
Order now!
posted by danjo at 6:05 PM on May 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
This machine turns excess food into bacon! This includes cheese and cheese byproducts.
I repeat this machine turns excess food into bacon. It's really quite amazing. Requires some fencing and some shade but really mostly takes care of itself.
It can also make copies of itself and till your fields.
Order now!
posted by danjo at 6:05 PM on May 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
Basically what I am saying is if your cheese doesn't either a) have visible mould or b) crumble into thousands of delicious fragments when you touch it, you might as well not bother. Also I enjoy many types of brie.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:06 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:06 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
oneswellfoop: ...I discovered that over a half-year after my last 'cheese run', I was less than 50% through consuming my cheeses of choice...
For God's sake, man! Put on your Cheese Pants and do your damn share! Disgusting, simply a dereliction...
posted by wenestvedt at 6:47 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
For God's sake, man! Put on your Cheese Pants and do your damn share! Disgusting, simply a dereliction...
posted by wenestvedt at 6:47 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Great. Just after my cheese-loving ass becomes lactose intolerant.
posted by threeturtles at 6:52 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by threeturtles at 6:52 PM on May 2, 2016
Wait. Why is cheese so damned expensive in the US then, relative to Europe?
posted by pravit at 7:14 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by pravit at 7:14 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've tried eating brie and crumbly, moldy cheeses, and they taste horrible to me. They make me gag, no joke. And they're insanely expensive, at least to my service-class budget.
So, if you like food that tastes terrible to me, that I can't afford to buy even if I did like it, and then you go off with a big 'EEEEWWWWWWW!' about the stuff I like and can afford... Yeah, that's being a snob, as far as I'm concerned.
posted by KHAAAN! at 7:33 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
So, if you like food that tastes terrible to me, that I can't afford to buy even if I did like it, and then you go off with a big 'EEEEWWWWWWW!' about the stuff I like and can afford... Yeah, that's being a snob, as far as I'm concerned.
posted by KHAAAN! at 7:33 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Considering the cheese surplus, and the lethal injection drug shortage, I think it's pretty obvious what needs to happen here.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 8:11 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by mrjohnmuller at 8:11 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
I can't eat unaged cheeses because of the lactose any more. I haven't had pizza in 7 years. You have no idea how much I want a goddamn pizza.
Does anyone know if those lactase pills work? I suppose I could just try but you know how the symptoms of lactose intolerance are often given as gas and bloating? Yeah, no. Try curled up on the bathroom floor for 45 minutes breathing like in a lamaze class hoping to die.
posted by Justinian at 8:17 PM on May 2, 2016
Does anyone know if those lactase pills work? I suppose I could just try but you know how the symptoms of lactose intolerance are often given as gas and bloating? Yeah, no. Try curled up on the bathroom floor for 45 minutes breathing like in a lamaze class hoping to die.
posted by Justinian at 8:17 PM on May 2, 2016
Admittedly, that happened after I ate the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting. DONT JUDGE ME.
posted by Justinian at 8:17 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 8:17 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
It was possibly a half gallon. JUDGE ME A LITTLE.
posted by Justinian at 8:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 8:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
Great. Just after my cheese-loving ass becomes lactose intolerant.
HI WELCOME TO THE FART CLUB here is your introduction packet:
first of all, don't believe anything anyone online or irl tells you about what you can and cannot eat as a lactose intolerant person, because everyone's sensitivity is different and you will need to experiment for yourself; people on mefi constantly insist that i can eat hard cheeses without any trouble because some friend of theirs can and of course all people are the same right and i s2g im gonna break into their homes and poop in their pillows
secondly, get used to finding lactose in stupid fucking places, like sliced deli ham and in your vitamins/medications
finally and MOST IMPORTANTLY Finlandia makes lactose-free cheese (gouda, swiss, muenster, havarti) that is real cheese from real milk from real cows and not some vegan monstrosity
posted by poffin boffin at 8:24 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
HI WELCOME TO THE FART CLUB here is your introduction packet:
first of all, don't believe anything anyone online or irl tells you about what you can and cannot eat as a lactose intolerant person, because everyone's sensitivity is different and you will need to experiment for yourself; people on mefi constantly insist that i can eat hard cheeses without any trouble because some friend of theirs can and of course all people are the same right and i s2g im gonna break into their homes and poop in their pillows
secondly, get used to finding lactose in stupid fucking places, like sliced deli ham and in your vitamins/medications
finally and MOST IMPORTANTLY Finlandia makes lactose-free cheese (gouda, swiss, muenster, havarti) that is real cheese from real milk from real cows and not some vegan monstrosity
posted by poffin boffin at 8:24 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Oh Justinian. I feel for you. My gastrointestinal tract decided it didn't do dairy for 2 years (I'm assuming I had a virus or something that caused hypersensitivity). The slightest bit of dairy would have me doubled over in excruciating pain. Thankfully, I can once again eat a pint of Cherry Garcia with only guilt as an adverse reaction.
posted by Sophie1 at 9:01 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by Sophie1 at 9:01 PM on May 2, 2016
This month is SUPPOSED to be "Keep MetaFilter Weird", NOT "Keep MetaFilter Cheesy".
It's an improvement on the Mayo Posts, which were certainly weird.
Now if you excuse me, I need to go design the cheese-shaped bumper cars, the swiss-cheese-shaped climbing aparatus, and - of course - the Gouda-Gouda Swings.
All the kids are excited about the Velveeta Wave Pool. The survivors will go back year after year.
Make American Grate Again!
As every schoolchild knows, a cubic meter of American cheese weighs 946.79 kg, so 600000000 lb of American cheese could be usefully put to purpose in the form of a wall along our border 3 meters high, .2 meters thick, and 479 kilometers long.
nb:
You have: 600000000 lb * m^3 / 946.79 kg / 3 meter / .2 meter
You want: kilometer
* 479.08445
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:14 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
It's an improvement on the Mayo Posts, which were certainly weird.
Now if you excuse me, I need to go design the cheese-shaped bumper cars, the swiss-cheese-shaped climbing aparatus, and - of course - the Gouda-Gouda Swings.
All the kids are excited about the Velveeta Wave Pool. The survivors will go back year after year.
Make American Grate Again!
As every schoolchild knows, a cubic meter of American cheese weighs 946.79 kg, so 600000000 lb of American cheese could be usefully put to purpose in the form of a wall along our border 3 meters high, .2 meters thick, and 479 kilometers long.
nb:
You have: 600000000 lb * m^3 / 946.79 kg / 3 meter / .2 meter
You want: kilometer
* 479.08445
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:14 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Then lower the price so I can buy and eat it. Sheesh.
I don't think the government wants to force that move. If the cheese market was suddenly flooded with a giant amount cheese for pennies on the pound, that could drive the existing competitors out of business. And who knows what sort of economic effects that will have on the country. It think we might be at the point where some cheesemakers are too big to fail and need to be broken up.
posted by downtohisturtles at 9:29 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't think the government wants to force that move. If the cheese market was suddenly flooded with a giant amount cheese for pennies on the pound, that could drive the existing competitors out of business. And who knows what sort of economic effects that will have on the country. It think we might be at the point where some cheesemakers are too big to fail and need to be broken up.
posted by downtohisturtles at 9:29 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Great. Just after my cheese-loving ass becomes lactose intolerant.
I suspect your ass no longer loves cheese
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:05 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
I suspect your ass no longer loves cheese
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:05 PM on May 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
J. Kenji López-Alt reviews American Cheese. Be sure to scroll down for the comments on Wholesome Valley American Flavor Slices!
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 10:06 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 10:06 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh, there's no gummint cheese anymore? As someone else mentioned above, it was still being given away during the Reagan years. I know I've mentioned it in other threads, but we couldn't get any food assistance because of my father's income, even though he wasn't sharing any of that income with his ex-wife and children. But there were times Grandma kindly gave us the G.C. rom her food baskets, and it was the only source of protein we ever had some months. It didn't taste like American cheese or have the same texture; it really tasted like a mild cheddar. Homemade baked macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, and cheese and potato soup; sliced on the mandolin to eat on crackers or in cold sandwiches; skewered on a toothpick with grapes, raisins, craisins, or whatever lunch meat was going. Since we lived in a poor town, it wasn't uncommon in ours or our friends houses to pull the brick of government cheese out of the refrigerator after school and sit around the living room passing it and a paring knife around.
I knew a couple who owns a restaurant, but through creative bookkeeping only earned minimum wage. Young business was in their parents names, and their cars, home, appliances, garbage pickup, liquor, etcetera or all owned by the business and written off as expenses. Since their income on paper was that a few minimum wage workers they qualified for every assistance program for their children comma one of whom had a mild learning disability. The two major fraud programs that made me roll my eyes her food stamps and WIC. And they had to get two extra freezers to hold all the extra food they got every month. What this all has to do with government cheese is only that I'm reminded of her opening the chest freezer and showing me the bricks of name brand cheese stocked up to my waist and further back than I could reach. The restaurant. That you freezers, as well. And if any article of the kids clothing got a stain on it that didn't come out with one wash, she would throw that article of clothing away. Thank you for bearing with me till the end and the moral of the story, which is that the government cheese boxes made the perfect size Barbie doll coffins.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:23 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
I knew a couple who owns a restaurant, but through creative bookkeeping only earned minimum wage. Young business was in their parents names, and their cars, home, appliances, garbage pickup, liquor, etcetera or all owned by the business and written off as expenses. Since their income on paper was that a few minimum wage workers they qualified for every assistance program for their children comma one of whom had a mild learning disability. The two major fraud programs that made me roll my eyes her food stamps and WIC. And they had to get two extra freezers to hold all the extra food they got every month. What this all has to do with government cheese is only that I'm reminded of her opening the chest freezer and showing me the bricks of name brand cheese stocked up to my waist and further back than I could reach. The restaurant. That you freezers, as well. And if any article of the kids clothing got a stain on it that didn't come out with one wash, she would throw that article of clothing away. Thank you for bearing with me till the end and the moral of the story, which is that the government cheese boxes made the perfect size Barbie doll coffins.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:23 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Justinian, I made a wonderful discovery that going to an upscale pizza place and getting a pizza with buffalo mozzarella works well for the lactose-intolerant. I can't eat regular pizza without dire consequences, but I don't tend to have issues with milk/cheeses from goats, sheep, or buffalo. I know, you still can't ring Dominoes, but at least you can satisfy the craving once in a while.
American cheese can range from no lactose content to extremely high in lactose. I've had some bad run-ins with cheeseburgers, where I hoped I might get away with it.
posted by amusebuche at 10:40 PM on May 2, 2016
American cheese can range from no lactose content to extremely high in lactose. I've had some bad run-ins with cheeseburgers, where I hoped I might get away with it.
posted by amusebuche at 10:40 PM on May 2, 2016
If drinking milk causing gastronomic issues is the only data point, then it's not necessarily lactose that's at fault. As I recently found out, it's possible to be intolerant of caesin, another milk protein and unfortunately, caesin is sometimes used in lactose-free cheeses.
posted by fragmede at 11:26 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by fragmede at 11:26 PM on May 2, 2016
I live in a cheese desert so any cheese is welcome but I really want the fancy pants stuff. One of my favorite activities when I travel is to go cheese shopping.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 11:47 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 11:47 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Caesin means "cheese protein" because there's so much in all cheese, that plus fat plus organisms + time = cheese; whey protein is the other major protein component in milk that is largely eliminated from cheese through the use of cheese cloths and such
posted by aydeejones at 11:57 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by aydeejones at 11:57 PM on May 2, 2016
Casein, in case anyone's googling.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:03 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:03 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
KHAAAN!: "So, if you like food that tastes terrible to me, that I can't afford to buy even if I did like it, and then you go off with a big 'EEEEWWWWWWW!' about the stuff I like and can afford... Yeah, that's being a snob, as far as I'm concerned."
Wait, so if I like good things and don't like crappy things, I'm a snob? If I prefer, for example, some nice Belgian chocolate instead of a week-old M&M?
Guess I'll just be a snob, then.
posted by signal at 4:03 AM on May 3, 2016
Wait, so if I like good things and don't like crappy things, I'm a snob? If I prefer, for example, some nice Belgian chocolate instead of a week-old M&M?
Guess I'll just be a snob, then.
posted by signal at 4:03 AM on May 3, 2016
I regret to admit, I'm partly to blame for this. The number is no longer 1,200,000,000 pounds. It's 1,200,000,011, after I smuggled a 4-kilo wheel of chevre from the Jura past the customs beagles last week. My caloric intake over the past 14 days has been approximately 60% cheese. #sorrynotsorry
posted by Mayor West at 5:29 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Mayor West at 5:29 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
'Good' and 'crappy', at least when it comes to the taste of cheese, is a subjective thing. Like what you like. Just don't be a dick about it, or act as though your preferences somehow makes you 'better' than those who don't share them.
( Incidentally, the internet tells me belgian chocolate has a shelf life, best case, of 2-4 weeks. M&M's, properly stored, can last 12-16 months. Just FYI. )
posted by KHAAAN! at 7:32 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
( Incidentally, the internet tells me belgian chocolate has a shelf life, best case, of 2-4 weeks. M&M's, properly stored, can last 12-16 months. Just FYI. )
posted by KHAAAN! at 7:32 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Here are my opinions on cheese: whatever fancy pants cheese you're thinking of getting, put it back down and pick up a hunk of Beecher's Flagship instead. Unless you're thinking of getting a nice brie to put into a baguette with some apples and stick in a warm oven. It's OK to do that. All other cheese is just window dressing.
Also, there's nothing wrong with a traditional grilled cheese made with American. Arguably, any other cheese would make it a melt, not a grilled cheese. Just get the stuff that isn't individually wrapped, because we already have way too much plastic floating around.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:25 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, there's nothing wrong with a traditional grilled cheese made with American. Arguably, any other cheese would make it a melt, not a grilled cheese. Just get the stuff that isn't individually wrapped, because we already have way too much plastic floating around.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:25 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Real cheese? Or pasteurized process cheese food (>51% cheese) ? Or pasteurized process food product (<51% cheese)?
posted by notmtwain at 10:58 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by notmtwain at 10:58 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I swear I had some "cheese" when I was in college labeled "Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food Product Substitute" -- I wonder what percentage of cheese that was.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 11:42 AM on May 3, 2016
posted by rabbitrabbit at 11:42 AM on May 3, 2016
School lunches in my hometown served a mild-cheddar-ish government cheese, and I will tell you now that it was better than Velveeta. Stupid rich kids mocked it as a marker of low status; clearly they never actually ate it, only threw it at people.
posted by infinitewindow at 11:48 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 11:48 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
KHAAAN!: "( Incidentally, the internet tells me belgian chocolate has a shelf life, best case, of 2-4 weeks. M&M's, properly stored, can last 12-16 months. Just FYI. )"
Well, Belgian chocolates' chance of being uneaten after 2-4 weeks is pretty slim, whereas M&Ms, not so much.
To each his own, of course, but liking quality food and disliking cheap, plastic-tasting knockoff cheesish-products does not a snob make.
posted by signal at 12:31 PM on May 3, 2016
Well, Belgian chocolates' chance of being uneaten after 2-4 weeks is pretty slim, whereas M&Ms, not so much.
To each his own, of course, but liking quality food and disliking cheap, plastic-tasting knockoff cheesish-products does not a snob make.
posted by signal at 12:31 PM on May 3, 2016
it's ok to just say "I don't like American cheese" without of getting a bunch of adjectives involved tho
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:39 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:39 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
Cheese Mountain
Well you know, Canada has a strategic maple syrup reserve, so it only makes sense to be prepared with plenty of your national foodstuff. I assume we also have a lake of high fructose corn syrup in a secret location in Nevada as well.
posted by spitbull at 12:51 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Well you know, Canada has a strategic maple syrup reserve, so it only makes sense to be prepared with plenty of your national foodstuff. I assume we also have a lake of high fructose corn syrup in a secret location in Nevada as well.
posted by spitbull at 12:51 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Also you ought to see Poutine Canyon.
posted by spitbull at 12:52 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by spitbull at 12:52 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
What if you like cheap, plastic-tasting knockoff cheeseish products? I mean, much as one might love Stilton, one may still crave the occasional aerosol cheese product.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:53 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by octobersurprise at 12:53 PM on May 3, 2016
It's like I love jamón, but there's a time and place for vi-anner sausages, too.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:55 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by octobersurprise at 12:55 PM on May 3, 2016
octobersurprise: "What if you like cheap, plastic-tasting knockoff cheeseish products?"
That's fine. My point is just that not liking those products and liking other stuff doesn't make you a snob.
posted by signal at 1:48 PM on May 3, 2016
That's fine. My point is just that not liking those products and liking other stuff doesn't make you a snob.
posted by signal at 1:48 PM on May 3, 2016
I like American cheese. I think it is delicious. I like its soft texture, its color. I usually buy Borden's, Kraft, or even the store brand at my local grocery. It's what I grew up eating. It's what my working-class single mom could afford on a waitress salary, and it's what I can afford now. I knew lots of people who received government cheese, and to a person, they all said it was good. I would have liked to have tried some myself. I'm hoping it will be available again someday.
If somebody doesn't like this kind of cheese, fine, but why insist on using such harsh, derogatory language to describe it? What am I supposed to do with that description? Does no one realize how insulting it sounds to people who eat this kind of food regularly? The disdainful sneer behind the words is implicit, but it's there all right. Let me be clear: It's not the dislike for the food, it's the arrogant, insulting demeanor that makes you a snob.
posted by KHAAAN! at 2:01 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
If somebody doesn't like this kind of cheese, fine, but why insist on using such harsh, derogatory language to describe it? What am I supposed to do with that description? Does no one realize how insulting it sounds to people who eat this kind of food regularly? The disdainful sneer behind the words is implicit, but it's there all right. Let me be clear: It's not the dislike for the food, it's the arrogant, insulting demeanor that makes you a snob.
posted by KHAAAN! at 2:01 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
My point is just that not liking those products and liking other stuff doesn't make you a snob.
Nay, sir, I do not think so either. But this is the internet; the place to argue over the best way to deprecate cheese.
posted by octobersurprise at 2:33 PM on May 3, 2016
Nay, sir, I do not think so either. But this is the internet; the place to argue over the best way to deprecate cheese.
posted by octobersurprise at 2:33 PM on May 3, 2016
Actually, what makes me a snob is not so much my dislike for 'American Cheese', which duh, as my disdain for (many) well loved cheeses. For instance, if Monterey Jack was actually any good, they wouldn't have to have 274 different 'flavors' of it.
Good cheese is good, and doesn't need little pieces of jalapeños and mint and pistachios in it to distract you from its actual flavor.
posted by signal at 2:47 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
Good cheese is good, and doesn't need little pieces of jalapeños and mint and pistachios in it to distract you from its actual flavor.
posted by signal at 2:47 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
Y'all are expecting a lot from the resident dairy scientist who's too lazy to Google. My dim recollection from my economics of milk marketing class is that government cheese was distributed by the Commodity Credit Corporation, a government entity responsible in part for price support and stabilization programs. I believe it was dissolved in the early 1990s, and with it the pretty good cheese that some of us remember.
posted by wintermind at 7:40 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by wintermind at 7:40 PM on May 3, 2016
The abomination of American cheese aside (it's ok for my dogs), there's an economic problem here that seems hard to solve.
The problem of so much cheese is that the dairy farmers are frantically producing more milk due their getting such low prices these days. They conclude they make up on volume what they lose on margin. And of course, if they got higher margins, they'd still produce more milk. Milk output pretty much only ratchets upward, and the scientists really aren't sure that the upward boundary of output is in sight.
American cheese is essentially a milk storage device, in this case; probably the cheapest way to hold it at a higher value than, say, powder.
Putting aside the question of environmental impact, how do we make this high value food economically sustainable and get it to markets where it's needed?
I have no idea.
posted by nothing.especially.clever at 3:46 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
The problem of so much cheese is that the dairy farmers are frantically producing more milk due their getting such low prices these days. They conclude they make up on volume what they lose on margin. And of course, if they got higher margins, they'd still produce more milk. Milk output pretty much only ratchets upward, and the scientists really aren't sure that the upward boundary of output is in sight.
American cheese is essentially a milk storage device, in this case; probably the cheapest way to hold it at a higher value than, say, powder.
Putting aside the question of environmental impact, how do we make this high value food economically sustainable and get it to markets where it's needed?
I have no idea.
posted by nothing.especially.clever at 3:46 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
nothing.especially.clever: Putting aside the question of environmental impact, how do we make this high value food economically sustainable and get it to markets where it's needed?
I've long been hoping for a second opportunity to share my thoughts on farm supply management on Metafilter. Thanks!
posted by clawsoon at 8:30 AM on May 4, 2016
I've long been hoping for a second opportunity to share my thoughts on farm supply management on Metafilter. Thanks!
posted by clawsoon at 8:30 AM on May 4, 2016
I've tried eating brie and crumbly, moldy cheeses, and they taste horrible to me. They make me gag, no joke. And they're insanely expensive, at least to my service-class budget.
You're definitely not alone. I had a conversation with my Japanese friends when I was living over there. They liked natto. like, a lot. I could not figure out the appeal. It smelled of sweaty socks and has a texture best described as "slimy with chunks". Not much flavor either, you have to put mustard in it. So I ask them, "what's the deal with this stuff? It's kinda smelly and slimy, no?" My buddy says "now you know what we think about your cheeses" and it's like....goddammit you're right, I eat gooey or horrible smelling cheese with mold on it whenever I get the opportunity. Fair play, pass the natto I guess.
I like American cheese. I think it is delicious. I like its soft texture, its color. I usually buy Borden's, Kraft, or even the store brand at my local grocery. It's what I grew up eating. It's what my working-class single mom could afford on a waitress salary, and it's what I can afford now. I knew lots of people who received government cheese, and to a person, they all said it was good. I would have liked to have tried some myself. I'm hoping it will be available again someday.
I too ate a lot of Kraft processed cheese growing up while my mother was working selling Woman's World Magazine and World Book Encyclopedias door to door. I used to like it even. That, Kraft Dinner, and spaghetti with Ragu sauce. Now I don't much care for any of those things. And the mental visual of 600,000,000 pounds of processed cheese is kinda gross. I bet it jiggles. Anyways, I think maybe you're taking this a bit personally. It's a taste some people really don't like, just like you don't like brie or stilton or whatever. I mean it's not like I'm looking down on you from my mansion eating cave-aged artisanal goat-milk cheese off $100 bills all day. I just don't like processed cheese slices.
posted by Hoopo at 10:50 AM on May 4, 2016
You're definitely not alone. I had a conversation with my Japanese friends when I was living over there. They liked natto. like, a lot. I could not figure out the appeal. It smelled of sweaty socks and has a texture best described as "slimy with chunks". Not much flavor either, you have to put mustard in it. So I ask them, "what's the deal with this stuff? It's kinda smelly and slimy, no?" My buddy says "now you know what we think about your cheeses" and it's like....goddammit you're right, I eat gooey or horrible smelling cheese with mold on it whenever I get the opportunity. Fair play, pass the natto I guess.
I like American cheese. I think it is delicious. I like its soft texture, its color. I usually buy Borden's, Kraft, or even the store brand at my local grocery. It's what I grew up eating. It's what my working-class single mom could afford on a waitress salary, and it's what I can afford now. I knew lots of people who received government cheese, and to a person, they all said it was good. I would have liked to have tried some myself. I'm hoping it will be available again someday.
I too ate a lot of Kraft processed cheese growing up while my mother was working selling Woman's World Magazine and World Book Encyclopedias door to door. I used to like it even. That, Kraft Dinner, and spaghetti with Ragu sauce. Now I don't much care for any of those things. And the mental visual of 600,000,000 pounds of processed cheese is kinda gross. I bet it jiggles. Anyways, I think maybe you're taking this a bit personally. It's a taste some people really don't like, just like you don't like brie or stilton or whatever. I mean it's not like I'm looking down on you from my mansion eating cave-aged artisanal goat-milk cheese off $100 bills all day. I just don't like processed cheese slices.
posted by Hoopo at 10:50 AM on May 4, 2016
The Bloomberg article says the USDA classifies cheese as:
-American (>50%)
-Swiss (2%)
-Other
I would think there would be a few more categories.
Can I interest you in a cheese castle?
Is it any coincidence the Cheese Castle is the same exit as the Bong Recreation Center?
posted by MtDewd at 1:15 PM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
-American (>50%)
-Swiss (2%)
-Other
I would think there would be a few more categories.
Can I interest you in a cheese castle?
Is it any coincidence the Cheese Castle is the same exit as the Bong Recreation Center?
posted by MtDewd at 1:15 PM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
"But we still would eat Kraft Dinner?"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:21 PM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:21 PM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
« Older Usha Uthup: not your average playback singer | Mo-Cap Abstract Kung Fu Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
I never asked to be called a hero.
posted by teponaztli at 1:00 PM on May 2, 2016 [100 favorites]