And he'll still grow up to be an asshole.
May 13, 2016 3:32 AM   Subscribe

 
I approve of this post title, because if there ever was a bird well suited for a cheap Costco fedora and an Xbox Live account, it is the goose.
posted by middleclasstool at 4:24 AM on May 13, 2016 [20 favorites]


D'aww! That was a good way to start the day. Thanks.

It's baby-goose season (well, tween-goose season) in my part of the world. There are mama geese everywhere, trundling along followed by gaggles of smaller, fuzzier, tawnier geese. Adolescent geese are even cuter than goslings, I think.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 5:00 AM on May 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


I swear, internet animal videos are going to turn me into a vegetarian.
posted by Miko at 5:02 AM on May 13, 2016 [8 favorites]


Miko you just need to switch back to the animated gifs of people preparing meals for a bit.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:52 AM on May 13, 2016 [3 favorites]


Youtube link if you can't view the video on CTV's page.
posted by Mitheral at 6:14 AM on May 13, 2016 [5 favorites]


That goose must've known she was helping, because if there's any way to guarantee a trip to the hospital, it's to mess with a gosling in front of its mama (that might go for Ryan Gosling as well). Actually, I've got all kinds of emotions about this one, because Geese are Assholes, and Cops aren't that high in my book either. Maybe we can find peace in our time?
posted by dis_integration at 6:15 AM on May 13, 2016 [15 favorites]


Miko you just need to switch back to the animated gifs of people preparing meals for a bit.

This really does work. For example I watched a lot of Hannibal and then
posted by beerperson at 6:30 AM on May 13, 2016 [8 favorites]


There are a few geese families living on a grassy slope next to a riverside bike trail I commute on. We seem to be on the same schedule because for the past several mornings I've been blocked and hissed at by papa goose while mama leads the goslings across the path to the water. It's simultaneously adorable and terrifying.
posted by hwyengr at 7:08 AM on May 13, 2016


This really does work. For example I watched a lot of Hannibal and then

...you were compelled to do all your interior design work with a very dark palette and a lot of references to Renaissance Italy?
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:08 AM on May 13, 2016


...yes
posted by beerperson at 7:37 AM on May 13, 2016 [6 favorites]


I approve of this post title, because if there ever was a bird well suited for a cheap Costco fedora and an Xbox Live account, it is the goose.

I have seen geese gorging on a discarded bag of dorritos so this checks out.
posted by nathan_teske at 7:37 AM on May 13, 2016 [3 favorites]


Meanwhile, in Saskatoon some VIDs* are escorted home

*Very important ducklings.
posted by bonehead at 7:52 AM on May 13, 2016 [6 favorites]


Yeah, goose parents are a bit terrifying. I run with my wife's dog, and quite often we'll have to go 10+ feet off the trail because when the goslings can't fly away, the parents aren't having anything to do with you getting near them. The other day I came around a blind corner and almost ran into a family of five. One of the parents immediately covered the goslings with its wings while herding them away and the other was hissing and coming right at us with its wings spread and ready like a goose boxer. We quickly corned and went in the other direction. Usually the dog tries to get closer to the geese, but I suspect the hissing, flapping wings of death even scared some sense into him.

I find it a bit amazing that the mother goose was letting a human help her baby. And I also won't be surprised if that same goose is aggressively chasing off a human 10 minutes later.
posted by nobeagle at 7:52 AM on May 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's baby goose time here too, there are a couple of different groups on the river.
We have Canada Geese (who have just hatched) and later on the Egyptian Geese will hatch.
But the Egyptian Geese are terrible parents. It's not uncommon among the community of house boats in which I live to start every conversation with a discussion of how many baby Egyptian geese are still alive (if any).
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:02 AM on May 13, 2016


Not geese, but in a similar vein:

For the past 10 years, a mother duck has nested in the inner courtyard of Glover Elementary School in Milton Massachusetts.

It has become tradition for the entire school to escort the mother and ducklings through the school and out into a nearby pond.
posted by HighLife at 8:06 AM on May 13, 2016 [24 favorites]


I am convinced Jurassic Park would have been no less scary had they replaced the velociraptors with geese. Nevertheless this is definitely in the Awww category.

And bravo for the post title, because yes.
posted by tommasz at 8:19 AM on May 13, 2016


Maybe it's just me, but I wanted the guy holding the camera (incorrectly, but that's a different complaint) to put the phone down and assist the cop. She could have done the job much faster if she had both hands to work with instead of being hampered by having to hold the gosling with one hand and untangle it with the other. As we all know, however is to get the video, not be helpful.
posted by sardonyx at 8:28 AM on May 13, 2016


I find it a bit amazing that the mother goose was letting a human help her baby.

Well, yes, but it was a Canada goose, and therefore more polite than most.

My son can do a pretty realistic Large Dog aggressive bark, and when he cycles on the riverside bike paths, he barks at the geese to clear them off the pathway. He says they appear confused by a barking bicycle, but they do hop off the bike path.
posted by angiep at 9:25 AM on May 13, 2016 [7 favorites]


Geese shutdown Vancouver traffic...

Here on CTVNews

... thus proving again that Canada Geese are assholes.
posted by coust at 10:05 AM on May 13, 2016


Similar to the Sakatoon VID incident, I once had the pleasure of escorting a goose family down the ramp of an elevated parking lot (no idea how/why they were up there) and across a sidestreet to the particular patch of park that they deigned to grace with their custom.
posted by Artful Codger at 10:35 AM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


For the past 10 years, a mother duck has nested in the inner courtyard of Glover Elementary School in Milton Massachusetts.

It has become tradition for the entire school to escort the mother and ducklings through the school and out into a nearby pond


That's quite possibly the very best thing since sliced bread! The giddy wonderment on the kids' faces as mama duck and ducklings stroll through their parade. Pure adorableness. Thank you so much for sharing. /day made
posted by bologna on wry at 10:37 AM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]



Maybe it's just me, but I wanted the guy holding the camera (incorrectly, but that's a different complaint) to put the phone down and assist the cop.


The way he was keeping his distance, I think they were worried that two people might have been pressing their luck and soured the mother's impression of what was going on.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 12:30 PM on May 13, 2016 [4 favorites]


Also, notice the goose was watching and honking at him the whole first part of the video, not the cop with the gosling. The goose was clearly "yes, please deploy the monkey fingers" to her, but had Doubts about the guy with the camera.
posted by tavella at 12:41 PM on May 13, 2016 [4 favorites]


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