Project Earth is leaving beta
May 19, 2016 5:40 PM Subscribe
The beta test of Project Earth is finally over. First, the bad news: this update comes with a server wipe. Yes, we know you've poured time and effort into your 'lives' on Earth, and it's disappointing to lose your progress. Unfortunately, this can't be helped. We experimented with methods of porting existing avatars into the new version, but it brings a host of compatibility issues with our new character-creation system (more on that later). As a consolation, we're planning another exciting in-game 'End of the World' event, so you can go out with a bang.
This explains all the crap that takes up most of my storage space. Project Earth is F2P.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 6:08 PM on May 19, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 6:08 PM on May 19, 2016 [4 favorites]
These explanations for the rise of Trump are getting more and more outlandish.
posted by Behemoth at 6:16 PM on May 19, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Behemoth at 6:16 PM on May 19, 2016 [7 favorites]
Hurry up
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:19 PM on May 19, 2016
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:19 PM on May 19, 2016
Is it time for everybody to Get Schwifty?
posted by Talez at 6:22 PM on May 19, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Talez at 6:22 PM on May 19, 2016 [5 favorites]
Any trait your avatar is 'born' with will be free of manipulation from players or mods. We know this might upset those of you who feel these traits are a matter of player choice, but we believe this is the more realistic approach. An increase in diversity will only enhance our experience on Earth. Plus, the inexplicable dominance of the 'straight white male' template kept crashing parts of the system
Heh. Nice.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:23 PM on May 19, 2016 [10 favorites]
Heh. Nice.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:23 PM on May 19, 2016 [10 favorites]
It can't happen fast enough. I think I've been playing the prat version of me all of this time.
posted by drnick at 7:23 PM on May 19, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by drnick at 7:23 PM on May 19, 2016 [3 favorites]
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - Douglas Adams
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:26 PM on May 19, 2016 [17 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:26 PM on May 19, 2016 [17 favorites]
Ob. Nature Futures archive link (some fantastic stuff in there).
posted by danhon at 7:40 PM on May 19, 2016
posted by danhon at 7:40 PM on May 19, 2016
God dammit- I bought way too many hats.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:49 PM on May 19, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:49 PM on May 19, 2016 [4 favorites]
Ok, we can't take our characters forward. Can we at least retain our experience? I'd hate to have to grind through all the same old mistakes.
posted by calamari kid at 9:18 PM on May 19, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by calamari kid at 9:18 PM on May 19, 2016 [4 favorites]
First, the bad news: this update comes with a server wipe.
Oh, thank god. I'm starting to realize how badly I fucked up the distribution of points between STR, DEX, CON, INT, WIS, and CHA for my character class, and in retrospect I soured relations with some NPCs who would have made killer party members. I don't really mind a second run through the early-story quests now that I understand the game a little better.
posted by invitapriore at 10:18 PM on May 19, 2016 [15 favorites]
Oh, thank god. I'm starting to realize how badly I fucked up the distribution of points between STR, DEX, CON, INT, WIS, and CHA for my character class, and in retrospect I soured relations with some NPCs who would have made killer party members. I don't really mind a second run through the early-story quests now that I understand the game a little better.
posted by invitapriore at 10:18 PM on May 19, 2016 [15 favorites]
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - Douglas Adams
Weird, I've had this same thought. Do I remember ever seeing myself and Douglas Adams at the same time in the same place?
posted by bongo_x at 10:19 PM on May 19, 2016
Weird, I've had this same thought. Do I remember ever seeing myself and Douglas Adams at the same time in the same place?
posted by bongo_x at 10:19 PM on May 19, 2016
I don't really mind a second run through the early-story quests now that I understand the game a little better.
Yeah, I thought I wanted to be a fighter for some reason, but realized later that didn't fit. I wasn't taking any of it that seriously and kind of fucked off and wrecked the game for everyone. I also don't think I realized those early decisions were going to determine which ending you get.
posted by bongo_x at 10:27 PM on May 19, 2016 [4 favorites]
Yeah, I thought I wanted to be a fighter for some reason, but realized later that didn't fit. I wasn't taking any of it that seriously and kind of fucked off and wrecked the game for everyone. I also don't think I realized those early decisions were going to determine which ending you get.
posted by bongo_x at 10:27 PM on May 19, 2016 [4 favorites]
This would be a lot funnier if we all weren't staring down the barrel of a genuine server wipe which will reformat the place into the ideal habitat for jellyfish and bacteria and not much else.
posted by No-sword at 12:01 AM on May 20, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by No-sword at 12:01 AM on May 20, 2016 [8 favorites]
Yeah but in a few hundred million years they'll have evolved into a sapient species that's so much more enlightened than we are. So it's a net win, really.
posted by ardgedee at 3:20 AM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by ardgedee at 3:20 AM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]
I just knew Google would unplug Earth just like they did Reader.
posted by chavenet at 4:41 AM on May 20, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 4:41 AM on May 20, 2016 [5 favorites]
This would be a lot funnier if we all weren't staring down the barrel of a genuine server wipe which will reformat the place into the ideal habitat for jellyfish and bacteria and not much else.
It's not the end of the world
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:10 AM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]
It's not the end of the world
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:10 AM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]
the inexplicable dominance of the 'straight white male' template
Oh, and who pushed out your fucked-up patch in 1500AD to try to fix 'straight yellow male' dominance? You totally nerfed the Han, and Western Science turns out to be totally unbalanced, and that's "inexplicable"? It's poor game design, that's what it is.
Did you learn nothing from what happened to your avatar in 33AD? "Be nice to each other" doesn't work when written in the manual, nor delivered in person from one of your corporate stooges. The whole system is fucked.
And you know why, don't you? You've got social animal templates working just fine: fucking billions of them, ants, bees, slime molds. But no, humans have to have positional status and competition, which means - of course - we're constantly striving for updates and upgrades - paid, of course!
Admit it. This is all deliberate. It is the end of the free model. You're going Freemium, aren't you? Want to play as a white man with all the attendant perks? Extra $5 per month. Want to avoid dying in childbirth? $20. Don't have the cash? Tough, you get to shit your guts out from dysentery in a slum in India until you're twelve, then it's GAME OVER.
Fuckers.
posted by alasdair at 7:39 AM on May 20, 2016 [7 favorites]
Oh, and who pushed out your fucked-up patch in 1500AD to try to fix 'straight yellow male' dominance? You totally nerfed the Han, and Western Science turns out to be totally unbalanced, and that's "inexplicable"? It's poor game design, that's what it is.
Did you learn nothing from what happened to your avatar in 33AD? "Be nice to each other" doesn't work when written in the manual, nor delivered in person from one of your corporate stooges. The whole system is fucked.
And you know why, don't you? You've got social animal templates working just fine: fucking billions of them, ants, bees, slime molds. But no, humans have to have positional status and competition, which means - of course - we're constantly striving for updates and upgrades - paid, of course!
Admit it. This is all deliberate. It is the end of the free model. You're going Freemium, aren't you? Want to play as a white man with all the attendant perks? Extra $5 per month. Want to avoid dying in childbirth? $20. Don't have the cash? Tough, you get to shit your guts out from dysentery in a slum in India until you're twelve, then it's GAME OVER.
Fuckers.
posted by alasdair at 7:39 AM on May 20, 2016 [7 favorites]
Do I remember ever seeing myself and Douglas Adams at the same time in the same place?
Remember that time you were waiting for the train and someone sat down across from you and ate your cookies?
posted by metaphorever at 7:44 AM on May 20, 2016 [4 favorites]
Remember that time you were waiting for the train and someone sat down across from you and ate your cookies?
posted by metaphorever at 7:44 AM on May 20, 2016 [4 favorites]
It's not the end of the world
is too
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:49 AM on May 20, 2016
is too
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:49 AM on May 20, 2016
> God dammit- I bought way too many hats.
Are you kidding? Buying way too many hats is one of the things I'm proudest of! HAT ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!
posted by languagehat at 7:52 AM on May 20, 2016 [3 favorites]
Are you kidding? Buying way too many hats is one of the things I'm proudest of! HAT ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!
posted by languagehat at 7:52 AM on May 20, 2016 [3 favorites]
I'm starting to realize how badly I fucked up the distribution of points between STR, DEX, CON, INT, WIS, and CHA
Totally feel you on this. When I assigned stats for my Earth character, I was going off my D&D experience where CHA is relatively unimportant. Far too late did I realize it's much more important — possibly the most important stat of all — in Earth.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:53 AM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]
Totally feel you on this. When I assigned stats for my Earth character, I was going off my D&D experience where CHA is relatively unimportant. Far too late did I realize it's much more important — possibly the most important stat of all — in Earth.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:53 AM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]
>TheWhiteSkull: God dammit- I bought way too many hats.I don't think that's a problem. Quite the contrary: having more hats is conducive to finding the answer to the ultimate question
posted by andycyca at 3:23 PM on May 20, 2016
Does that mean that the mad hatter caterpillar is foredoomed to be the ultimate winner of Earth mark 2?
posted by tavella at 4:09 PM on May 20, 2016
posted by tavella at 4:09 PM on May 20, 2016
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posted by egypturnash at 5:52 PM on May 19, 2016 [18 favorites]