NBA players swat little kids' shots

June 18, 2016 4:51 PM

NBA Players Swatting Little Kids' Shots
posted by ardgedee (49 comments total)

That was great. A few notes:

-DeMarcus Cousins was nothing but goaltends
-That's the most defense I've ever seen James Harden play
-Needs to be re-edited to include Lebron's block against Curry in game 6 the other night
posted by saladin at 4:58 PM on June 18, 2016 [37 favorites]

that Dirk one had me rolling
posted by skewed at 5:01 PM on June 18, 2016

Oh God, I could watch this for hours.

And if you know where to find an MMA equivalent, MeMail me.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 5:01 PM on June 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

Ugh Saladin with the first comment ultra burn.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:05 PM on June 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

Loved the backing music - right level of soulfulness.
posted by dangerousdan at 5:47 PM on June 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

Awwww, yeah.

A derail: the other video I associate with this song
posted by Going To Maine at 5:59 PM on June 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

I'd seen all of these before, separately, and they just warm my heart. Durant's were the best to me. By all accounts, this shouldn't be happening, and there's no real explanation for why they're just brutalizing these kids shots, but I just adore it. It's so much fun to do. In basketball, nobody is safe. Not even toddlers.
posted by cashman at 6:02 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

What am I missing????
Maybe it's just seeing them all right after another, but these just seem ... mean.
posted by bookmammal at 6:06 PM on June 18, 2016 [9 favorites]

You think that the kids should get to go 3 on 1 or something. Maybe see if you'd rather take on one 6'10" pro defence or 6'10" of 1st grade offense ....
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:20 PM on June 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

this is basically the real life version of when I grind for 10 hrs straight to be powerful enough to just own the next boss in any JRPG
posted by numaner at 6:23 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

What am I missing????

I was a soccer player, not basketball, but I think it applies: especially when you're concurrently playing at a high level, the instinct to let someone else win just doesn't exist in you, even if it is a toddler.

Yes, I've stuffed some children in my day, but it's not like these kids are expecting to best Kevin Durant in the first place. It's much more about just being in their presence for these kids. And the older ones, I can also tell you from experience, learn a tremendous amount in those three seconds of play with an opponent that outclasses them by orders of magnitude.
posted by cmoj at 6:34 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

You think that the kids should get to go 3 on 1 or something.

Heh. Now I'm picturing 3 kids, stacked on each others' shoulders under a long trenchcoat, Little Rascals style.
posted by Anoplura at 6:37 PM on June 18, 2016 [12 favorites]

Yes, I've stuffed some children in my day, but it's not like these kids are expecting to best Kevin Durant in the first place. It's much more about just being in their presence for these kids.

Tell that to Aaron Carter
posted by Itaxpica at 6:40 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

What am I missing????

It's funny. Basically, you're going to learn it the hard way or the easy way. So they just teach them the easy way. The hard way is when you're 17 or 18 and fairly athletic, and playing against an older guy and you get a steal and go to the basket and you're getting chased by the guy so when you see him jump, you pump fake so he flies by you. But he's still athletic enough that he hangs in the air long enough to still block your shot over the backboard.

So you (general you) run into a lot of kids who learned early on, and they know how to get their shots off against much taller defenders.

I mean this is all overthinking it plate of beans style. At the end of the day sometimes it's just fun to be facetiously cruel to a kid when you know they aren't actually getting hurt in any way.

I bet that little girl aint gonna get crossed when she grows up to be a preteen. This is gonna be her in a few years.
posted by cashman at 6:47 PM on June 18, 2016 [7 favorites]

I was in the park today shooting waterguns at kids. It was satisfying. HEY, THEY SHOT FIRST!
posted by clawsoon at 6:54 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Spot on with the Cousins goaltending. I think what I liked best was the kids that got all crafty, and tried to post up and do a spin move. Yes, your youthful enthusiasm and inventive offensive style will surely work this ti...

/Shot swatted away by an emotionless Nerlens Noel, who barely registered the effort it took to send your shot five counties over.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:27 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Cousins is goaltending but he's letting the kids get their shots off. On the other hand Quincy Acy isn't letting his son have any illusions.
posted by rdr at 7:38 PM on June 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

It's a man's league, I guess those kids just got their feelings hurt or something.
posted by lkc at 8:00 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

These kids know they're only going to make a shot if they're allowed to. Their pride's not really on the line.

This is probably a lot easier on the emotions than getting bested by someone their own age, but that happens to most of them all the time, if they like to play.

Also it's funny.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:01 PM on June 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

I lol'd. Reminds me of playing in a 'coach's game' for my youth league some years ago, and I caught up with a fast break, (only because I was last down the court!) and blocked a shot by one of the lady coaches - the boos were deafening. I was socially ostracized, but waggled my finger just the same.
posted by sfts2 at 8:08 PM on June 18, 2016

The Washington Generals, in solidarity with the World Famous Harlem Globetrotters, cordially invite those NBA namby-pambies to try that again. On a hockey rink. Only the kids get skates, and only three Generals or Globetrotters will be on the courtrink at any given time.

Sweet Lou and Red Klotz issued a joint statement:

"We excel on ice."
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:09 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Yeah, I think for many of the kids it's probably a fun sign of respect--like, the NBA player is treating you like a real opponent and thus making it hard for you to score against him.
posted by TwoStride at 8:10 PM on June 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

Kids hate it when you let them win anyway.

This still isn't as bad as some of my friends playing soccer with their own kids. Grown men. I can't wait till those kids are teenagers and the dads are 50. Payback is gonna be so sweet.
posted by fshgrl at 8:20 PM on June 18, 2016

I love Nerlens Noel, watch him wait on his toes for the kid to commit before moving, even playing with little kids he can't help showing natural timing. Dude had 105 blocks at Kentucky, that's good for 19th ALL TIME in 24 games.

It's really too effing bad he's wasted on the miserable D-league franchise 76ers. On an actual NBA team that fields legitimate NBA caliber players, or has a NBA plan involving players in some sort of logical scheme identifiable as basketball, or even just tries to win any games at all, he could be the next Ben Wallace. Yea, he sucks on offense, but his interior defense is a sight to behold.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:37 PM on June 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh I forgot, the other thing I love about Noel (and Anthony Davis) is they know to keep the ball in play on a block. Too many guys, even ones considered great defenders, go for the power spike into the stands highlight block every single time, when keeping the ball in bounds and even directing it back out towards your own defender can lead to instant transition offense the other direction.

You know, if you don't play for the Sixers.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:43 PM on June 18, 2016

I don't know, the Sixers could get pretty good pretty fast. This year they'll have Simmons (probably) and Embiid (finally) -- potential superstars both. Croatian phenom Dario Saric is rumored to be joining the Sixers this year, too. They have a bunch of other promising young players, as well, including Noel, Okafor, Covington, and Jerami Grant, plus a stockpile of draft picks, so they have lots of trade assets. Sign free agent Mike Conley and trade for a couple of other capable vets, and suddenly Sixers fans have reason to hope.
posted by Lyme Drop at 9:27 PM on June 18, 2016

I honestly think Embiid is never really going to play meaningful minutes in the NBA. I get the feeling there's something very Bynumesque about him. Rehab is hard, and yeah, when I should have taken it seriously, I didn't. The result for me, a schluby forty year old, has been years of lingering back pain. For a professional athlete who's being paid millions of dollars with the sole goal of getting healthy again to be so half assed about it, well, I'm not optimistic. Hell, even his manner of exacerbating the injury (dunking when he hadn't been cleared to even be on the court) is bizarrely close to Bynum bowling on a still healing reconstructed knee.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:41 PM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

That's entertainment.
posted by bongo_x at 9:56 PM on June 18, 2016

Lillard would never do such a thing.
posted by gucci mane at 10:08 PM on June 18, 2016

I am vividly reminded of one of my all-time favorite "This Is Sportscenter" commercials.
posted by magstheaxe at 10:22 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Somewhat relatedly, this is one of my all-time favorite basketball commercials: begging the NBA to end the lockout...
posted by TwoStride at 10:34 PM on June 18, 2016

I honestly think Embiid is never really going to play meaningful minutes in the NBA.

Big men with foot problems don't make it, ever. Ask Sam Bowie, Greg Oden and late career Yao Ming. Once the foot issues start, that's about it for 7 footers. Honorable mention to Western Kentucky's own Chris Marcus. Embiid was raw to begin with and hasn't played meaningful basketball in 3 years, he's a wasted pick.

I guess there's a conceivable scenario where the Sixers turn into an actual NBA team in the next 3 years, but their roster as currently constructed makes zero sense on any level, they've lost so much institutional memory and had so many players not developing in a system where they knew they were only treading water until... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that the Fort Wayne Mad Ants have about the same prospects going forward. If Embiid even appears in an NBA game next season they should move him for literally anything they can get back including a rack of basketballs or some jerseys.
posted by T.D. Strange at 10:57 PM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Children also suck at tennis. They can barely even hit the ball, they just swing the racket wildly. Love to see a video of pro players crushing their serves.
posted by thelonius at 11:57 PM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

And if that bothers you, here is Boban assisting a dunk.
posted by lkc at 12:16 AM on June 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

Counterpoint
posted by fullerine at 12:43 AM on June 19, 2016 [6 favorites]

"Kids hate it when you let them win anyway."

What's fun is when the adult (your dad) outclasses you and shows respect by taking the game seriously and he beats you and you learn something and everyone's happy, but what's not so fun is when the adult (your dad) is determined to demonstrate how much better he is than you are at anything you care to attempt because you should never forget it.

I mean, that's just like a hypothetical, not anything I personally experienced through my entire childhood.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 1:08 AM on June 19, 2016 [13 favorites]

Ivan, when my dad and his brothers tried that against my early teens cousins and I, we just restored to playing as dirty as they did. One of my cousins took advantage of his dad's wonky knee. Another cousin made sure to hack at the dodgy shoulder of his dad. And me, well, I showed my dad that it's unwise to play basketball with an ingrown toenail with a couple well-timed stomps.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:41 AM on June 19, 2016

Soccer - Father and son, father and daughter
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:56 AM on June 19, 2016 [3 favorites]

The dude who is desperate to high five Andre Drummond for blocking the little kid is my hero. He's on the kid's team!
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:42 AM on June 19, 2016

Those eden hazard and kompany youtube clips just confirm that the current Belgium squad is more or less composed of assholes.
posted by vuron at 6:56 AM on June 19, 2016

Why is this so damned funny? While laughing I was trying to figure that one out. I played basketball competitively throughout my youth so maybe I have some insight. Blocking someone's shot has a bit of machismo involved. But players recognize this so it's often done ironically or should I say that it's done for reals but the reaction afterwards is ironic or played up for comic effect. It's kind of a part of the good trash talking that goes on. If you've never played in a pickup game at a competitive court you would probably be surprised at how much jawing goes on and most of it isn't of the productive kind ("switch!", "on your left!", etc) but just all sorts of things to get into your opponents' minds.

So I guess this was kind of like that but without the seriousness of an actual game. This was little kids getting to experience the fun kind of trash talk that you get at high levels of play. Look, anyone can stand by while you make a shot. But an NBA player caring enough to block the fuck out of your pathetic attempt at a shot and then call you out for it? That's like being in the NBA.

And another way to think about it is that if one of those kids who was making all those moves had actually managed to get the shot off and make it the NBA player would have been the first one there to lift the kid up on to his shoulders. It's all this weird and funny and fun way of trash talking plus respect. These kids are now a real part of the game because of this. If that makes sense.

And I really liked Dirk's and LeBron's ones at the end. LeBron flat took that kid out!
posted by bfootdav at 7:04 AM on June 19, 2016 [4 favorites]

You think that the kids should get to go 3 on 1 or something. Maybe see if you'd rather take on one 6'10" pro defence or 6'10" of 1st grade offense ....

I had junior high gym with NBA journeyman Chase Budinger, who was over six feet as an eighth grader. The teacher delighted in matching up large numbers of us against Chase alone. He was good enough and tall enough that it really didn't matter how many of us scrubs were on the court. At the time, I resented it, since even by gym class standards it felt pointless and demeaning to compete against somebody so invincible, but I can't hold it against the coach now that I know how funny it must have been to watch.
posted by vathek at 7:33 AM on June 19, 2016 [4 favorites]

Getting bullied by your dad sucks, but I can't imagine any sport where it would be more fun to have one of the world's greatest players stand there pretending to oppose you rather than watching a superstar completely wreck you. What could be better than getting owned by LeBron James? It's probably an honor for some NBA players to get blocked by him.
posted by straight at 7:52 AM on June 19, 2016 [1 favorite]

I am vividly reminded of one of my all-time favorite "This Is Sportscenter" yt commercials

Also: Not today!
posted by AndrewInDC at 8:03 AM on June 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yeah it's absolutely a respect thing that makes it more fun for the kid.

If you're eight and Nerlens Noel swats your shot out of the air you played ball with Nerlens Noel; if you're eight and you made a shot on Nerlens Noel, then you played ball alone while Nerlens Noel watched, which ain't the same thing.
posted by bracems at 8:50 AM on June 19, 2016 [6 favorites]

Now my bet, my bet is that each kid reacts differently. Some love it, some hate it, some are confused about who this giant person is.
posted by clawsoon at 9:18 AM on June 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

Tell that to Aaron Carter

The 90's boy singer guy? I don't understand at all.
posted by cmoj at 10:44 AM on June 19, 2016

Aaron Carter
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 3:42 PM on June 19, 2016

I used to live next door to insanely tall teenage boys who played keep-away from me (I was 3) and they did not hold back... yeah.... it left scars...
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:09 PM on June 19, 2016