The World's Biggest Asshole

August 7, 2016 2:57 AM

"After all the arguments, lack of tips and constantly sending back food I finally learned the name of my worst customer, Coleman Sweeney. And I'll never forget it." More from Forbes, Adweek, The Drum, UPROXX. Organ donor websites: USA, UK, Canada, Australia.
posted by Wordshore (30 comments total)

A great ad for a great cause, though the combination of assholes and organ donors immediately brought to mind this.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 3:35 AM on August 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

(cannot help thinking of the glorious Cycling Night Riding Bicycle Light Creative Bike Light Bicycle Cycling MTB Bike Lamp Heart Design 37% Off that one of those chinese online stores were pushing on their homepage the other day...)
posted by effbot at 4:58 AM on August 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

Metafilter: The World's Biggest ... ah, forget it. There's no glory in shooting a sitting duck.

(Although Coleman Sweeney might disagree.)
posted by McCoy Pauley at 5:05 AM on August 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

The youtube recommendations on that one are.... something.
posted by kaibutsu at 5:06 AM on August 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

"I just want my corneas back."

Did Wes Anderson direct that?

Anyway, reminds me of this lovely story I read last night.
posted by tippy at 5:11 AM on August 7, 2016

Related: "Apple and Donate Life America announced today that, for the first time ever, iPhone users will be able to sign up to be an organ, eye and tissue donor right from the Health app with the release of iOS 10."
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:37 AM on August 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thanks. I really needed to cry first thing this morning.
posted by hippybear at 7:01 AM on August 7, 2016

Oh right. We don't have iOS 10 yet. Will someone please repeat MonkeyToes' comment when 10 goes live?
posted by Night_owl at 7:14 AM on August 7, 2016

Will someone please repeat MonkeyToes' comment when 10 goes live?

I'm running the iOS 10 beta, and am an organ donor because of it! I promise you, you'll stumble upon this option entirely on your own. The Health app is redesigned and super fun to click around in, and this is before they upload all the cutesy videos there's placeholder thumbnails for right now. Eventually you find the corner that's like GIVE US YOUR ORGANS, NOW and you go "oh cool!!" and then I guess you're an organ donor for life!
posted by rorgy at 7:44 AM on August 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Do I really want this guy's liver? Like, how bad would my liver need to be?
posted by Brocktoon at 11:10 AM on August 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

I signed up to be an organ donor when I got my driver's license. From what I've heard, though, the most important thing is to tell your next of kin that you want to be an organ donor in the unhappy event that it ever becomes relevant, because they have the final say.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 11:14 AM on August 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

In a little under two months, it'll be the 10th anniversary of my unknown hero (and their grieving next of kin) making the decision to donate their organs. I don't know what the other recipients have done, but receiving one of their kidneys got me off the slow death of dialysis and back into life. In these 10 years, their kidney has helped me:
* get my master's degree and publish a number of academic papers
* go back to full time work as a productive member of society, helping governments make better decisions on transportation policies
* travel through 15 countries on 4 continents
* meet an amazing woman and know the wonder and joy of love

So thanks to my own Coleman Sweeney, and please sign your organ donor card and let your next of kin know.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 12:05 PM on August 7, 2016 [88 favorites]

I've yet to figure our why organ-donation isn't opt out. As I understand it, most people don't care either way, so in European countries where it is opt-out they have a far better supply. Seems like it would make a lot more sense.
posted by Canageek at 2:13 PM on August 7, 2016 [6 favorites]

Woo-hoo! Go Homeboy Trouble!
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:31 PM on August 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

Canageek - agreed. Btw, that's one of Dan Ariely's favorite little stories and is featured prominently in his (very fun) TED Talk.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:32 PM on August 7, 2016

I hate advertising when it's about generating desire for things to buy as much as I adore advertising when it's about inspiring people to make better choices.

I'm an organ donor, but I have to make sure that there's no sign of my pariah status anywhere on my vehicles or on my person, lest my useful parts get flushed down the toilet in the event of my sudden demise just because my country still thinks I'm automatically riddled with diseases because I prefer the intimate company of dudes.
posted by sonascope at 4:21 PM on August 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Agh why am I crying this doesn't even make sense.
posted by corb at 4:42 PM on August 7, 2016 [6 favorites]

Great ad.

Thought I was already registered as a donor via my Queensland driver's license, but apparently not, or the records aren't linked properly. Just sorted it out through myGov. Cheers for the reminder.
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:55 PM on August 7, 2016

just because my country still thinks I'm automatically riddled with diseases because I prefer the intimate company of dudes

I used to be a registered organ donor, but I stopped bothering with that after my partner's father passed away - that's when I found out that, if I'm a registered organ donor when I die, that means my next of kin - when they need it least - is going to get a phone call from a disinterested technician with forty-five minutes' worth of questions abut my travel history, only for it to turn out to all be for nothing when the conversation finally comes around to the topic of the recently-deceased loved one's sex life. I can't say for sure who it's going to be that manages my affairs after I'm gone, but whoever they are, I am sure I don't want to put them through that.
posted by reprise the theme song and roll the credits at 5:03 PM on August 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

Aw shit yeah, I hadn't thought about how the blood ban would affect gay men who want to be organ donors. For fuck's sake America, what are we even doing?
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:33 PM on August 7, 2016

Man, the organ donor call at the time of death is ROUGH. Less than 10 minutes after my father's passing I got the call. It was not a good time to be asking for his corneas. I also knew that he did not want to have his organs donated due to a documentary he had watched about questionable practices. I might have been amenable if I was assured that there would be no profit to be had on his harvest, including epidermis or there was a specific recipient.
posted by jadepearl at 8:23 PM on August 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

can anyone comment on the current state of organ donation, specifically on the concerns mentioned by jadepearl?
posted by fake at 8:39 PM on August 7, 2016

Yeah, I understand the reasons they don't say "this would be going to X person" but I feel like for some people, that would really up the willingness to do it. It's different when you don't know who would be getting it than when you can see them as a person.
posted by corb at 10:22 PM on August 7, 2016

"It was not a good time to be asking for his corneas."

This stuff can't wait. A few hours is the difference between viable organs and medical waste. I get that it's incredibly difficult in the moment. The deceased families have my sympathy. But it's literally someone's life you're deciding. Maybe not for corneas, but certainly for a lot of organs.

"I might have been amenable if I was assured that there would be no profit to be had on his harvest, including epidermis or there was a specific recipient."

If I had to choose between someone living (but some asshole makes a profit) and someone dying....I'd rather the person lived. Save people with donated organs. Fix the illegalities. These are not mutually exclusive things.
posted by greermahoney at 12:13 AM on August 8, 2016 [6 favorites]

"Yeah, I understand the reasons they don't say "this would be going to X person" but I feel like for some people, that would really up the willingness to do it. It's different when you don't know who would be getting it than when you can see them as a person."

This is logistically impossible, even if it weren't ethically terrible. They only have a few hours to find a match, get a hold of them, get them to the hospital, transport the organ, and implant it (which alone can take hours). They quite often have a match in mind, but they can't get a hold of them and end up calling the next person on the list. And if they had to go back and get info & backstory on the recipient to the next of kin for permission each time that happened? The organ would die unused.

But honestly, this whole, I'll only donate to the worthy BS? Get over it. (No hard data here but...) 10% of the world is utter garbage people. Between the estimated 1-4% of people without empathy, and the tons of murders, rapists, bigots, terrorists and other POS people out there, there's probably at least 10% that probably don't deserve to be spit on if on fire. So you're going to literally punish the other 90% (or whatever % of worthy you think is out there) - you'll literally punish them with death - to make your point. That's pretty terrible.
posted by greermahoney at 12:41 AM on August 8, 2016 [6 favorites]

Thank goodness he was such an asshole that we can sort of not talk about some of the sticky points of organ donation. Because, well, Coleman Sweeney didn't really die, so much as entered the realm where we have decided that he should have his organs harvested.

This sort of matters because we know, for example, that ethnicity and economic background affect the standard of care given patients. So if Coleman Sweeney was, instead of an asshole who conveniently has the traits of a poor person, an asshole seven figure income executive, would anyone try harder to determine whether his brain function was irreversibly destroyed? Would rich Coleman survive what poor Coleman didn't? Should the poor Colemans of the world donate organs if they're more likely to be treated as brain dead? You may think this is a silly concern, but people do think about it.
posted by mobunited at 1:35 AM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

There's also this: Bride Is Walked Down Aisle by the Man Who Got Her Father’s Donated Heart
posted by peeedro at 11:44 PM on August 8, 2016

Just watched this the other day; I liked the production but from an ethical standpoint have a problem with the idea that your useful physical organs make up for you being a jerk your whole life.

Re the current state of organ donation:
We donated my dad's entire body to science last month. Involved about a 45-minute telephone interview immediately after death, even though it's not quite as time-sensitive. The interviewer said she deals with organ donors as well. Since he died of massive organ failure his actually organs wouldn't have been much use to anyone anyway.
posted by aspersioncast at 9:20 AM on August 9, 2016

I might have been amenable if I was assured that there would be no profit to be had on his harvest, including epidermis or there was a specific recipient.

I've said this before, but here's my experience (I'm Canadian, so I don't have any hard cost info):
I was a hemodialysis patient. That involves a ~4 hour appointment, where you're hooked up to a very expensive machine, using all manner of medical disposable tubes and such. There are a lot of staff around; a doctor on call, multiple nurses and attendants. I'd be surprised if there was more than 2 patients per staff, and it's probably more like 1:1 with administration. This appointment happens three days a week, so 150 times a year. One estimate I've seen is $89,000 per patient, per year.

Now I'm a transplant recipient. I just today had an appointment with the medical team; there's probably a 1 patient to 2 staff ratio all in (nurses, doctors, interns, pharmacist, dietitian, social worker, admin). But this appointment is only an hour or so, and happens once every six months. In between, it's monthly blood/urine tests which isn't a lot. I also have to take some drugs; looking at the 3 most expensive on the internet (the rest are generics and OTC) it's roughly $6K per year. Same source estimates all costs to be $25K per year. The surgery isn't cheap, but it's not crazy - $32K. The surgical costs are the same as 6 months of dialysis costs.

By giving me the transplant instead of keeping me on dialysis for 10 years, this transplant (since I'm Canadian and it's the public purse) saved the medical system roughly $600,000 so far. I understand suspicion around profit distorting motives - boy, do I - but in the case of kidney donations, the profit motive should be discouraging transplants, not encouraging them.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 9:47 PM on August 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

As a note: Even if you can't donate due to disease or unscientific blood bans couldn't you leave your organs to science and medicine? As I understand it, they still need corpses to train doctors, and organs for medical research and they might be somewhat less picky there. I know when I signed up there was a box for transplants and a box for science and I checked both. (Turns out any time you have correspondence with the Ontario government they mail you the forms to be an organ donor)
posted by Canageek at 11:56 AM on August 10, 2016