Teen's Head Stuck in Pumpkin

October 31, 2016 10:44 AM

Dad: Why were you putting your head in there, anyway?
Rachel: I just thought it would be funny.
Mom: It was funny!

Every family should be this good-natured. Happy Halloween!

posted by Johnny Wallflower (45 comments total)

Instructions unclear, "head" stuck in pumpkin.
posted by SansPoint at 10:50 AM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

This is the best Slenderman video yet
posted by beerperson at 10:52 AM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

The kid that keeps singing is really annoying. Even worse, I realize that that was me when I was a kid...
posted by Durin's Bane at 10:52 AM on October 31, 2016 [32 favorites]

A picture which will definitely make it onto the bristol board displays at her wedding and funeral.
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:52 AM on October 31, 2016 [9 favorites]

I like the brother who immediately stepped in to help, both with the original joke (pumpkin stabilizer) and with the stuck head troubleshooting. I also like the brother who just won't shut the heck up, but occasionally stops his obnoxious singing and dancing around to roughly tug at his sister, and eventually suggests using a saw to cut the pumpkin open, safety be damned. They represent the two classic archetypes of brothers.

I only have one brother. Guess which type I got.
posted by phunniemee at 10:54 AM on October 31, 2016 [32 favorites]

Pepsi Orange from Big Pumpkin
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:56 AM on October 31, 2016

phunniemee: "and eventually suggests using a saw to cut the pumpkin open, safety be damned. "

Everyone knows a real brother would suggest cutting her head off at the neck to solve this problem.
posted by chavenet at 11:04 AM on October 31, 2016 [27 favorites]

I only have one brother. Guess which type I got.

You could have gotten the sledgehammer type.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:07 AM on October 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

Pumpkin! Apply directly to the forehead!

Remember that? Ahh, good times.
posted by Naberius at 11:13 AM on October 31, 2016 [5 favorites]

I only have one brother. Guess which type I got.

You could have gotten the sledgehammer type.

Such as either one of the Gallaghers.
posted by TedW at 11:14 AM on October 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

Sil-ver ♫
Sham-rock ♫
posted by kokaku at 11:17 AM on October 31, 2016 [9 favorites]

No, no, don't get her out! Dad wants to see it!
posted by allthinky at 11:23 AM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

A word of warning to all would-be pumpkin heads: PUMPKINS ARE HEAVY. Seriously, even if you get a big enough pumpkin to wear, do you really want to support 10 to 20 lb of damp squash on your head for any period of time? Where will the pumpkin rest? Just on your head, or will it be big enough to rest on your shoulders? And if it is, can you turn your head?

OK, let's say you're on board, regardless of all this. How big are the eye holes going to be? Scratch that - are you going somewhere with your friends or family? Are they jerks? Because you'll need to have people help you navigate, unless you cut huge eye holes. Here's an exercise - make circles with your hands, and hold them out where you think a pumpkin may sit ahead of your eyes. How much can you see through those eyeholes? Now move them out a few inches, because your pumpkin will likely be bigger than you expect, if you really want to fit your head inside of it. Yeah, limited visibility.

In closing: it may be fun to think of wearing a pumpkin, but in reality, they're really awful as costumes, unless you want to make a pumpkin helmet, like the Limestrong pets. Then you can get a smaller pumpkin AND be able to see everything. But it'll still be a really heavy, and the underside of the stem points down, so pad it with towels or something.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:24 AM on October 31, 2016 [6 favorites]

Sil-ver ♫
Sham-rock ♫

SOMEONE MUST CGI THE INSECTS BURSTING FORTH!!!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:26 AM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

This seems like a reasonable strategy for deprogramming big pumpkin's flavoring indoctrination.
posted by srboisvert at 11:33 AM on October 31, 2016 [4 favorites]

You can make a good curry with pumpkin as the main ingredient. With a little ginger, a suitable blend of spices and some frying she could have eaten her way out over several days.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:37 AM on October 31, 2016 [5 favorites]

This seems like an appropriate spot to link the KXVO Pumpkin Dance (previously on the blue).
posted by zachlipton at 11:45 AM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got my head stuck in a cat scratching post once. It is sort of terrifying to have your head stuck in something, I was a lot less chill than Rachel was about the whole thing.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:45 AM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

pumpkin
APPLY DIRECTLY TO NOGGIN
pumpkin
APPLY DIRECTLY TO NOGGIN
pumpkin
APPLY DIRECTLY TO NOGGIN
pumpkin
APPLY DIRECTLY TO NOGGIN
pumpkin
APPLY DIRECTLY TO NOGGIN
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:49 AM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

Is he singing a pumpkin sea shanty? The older brother seems sweet and I'm impressed Rachel didn't freak out. I side with the little sister observing from the sidelines and being largely ignored. I hope she got some help carving her pumpkin.
posted by areaperson at 11:58 AM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

This family seems a lot of fun. Kids who are up for wackiness, not too cool to look silly, supportive of each other, unflappable parents. I want to hang out with these people.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 11:59 AM on October 31, 2016 [8 favorites]

Large cats know what to do with recalcitrant pumpkins.
posted by Bee'sWing at 11:59 AM on October 31, 2016 [7 favorites]

The One With All The Halloweens.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 12:00 PM on October 31, 2016

This reminded me of a spoof of the DMX song "Up In Here" that I once made up which went as follows:

Y'all gon' make me lose my mind
Pumpkin head, pumpkin head

Y'all gon' make me go all out
Pumpkin head, pumpkin head

Y'all gon' make me act a fool
Pumpkin head, pumpkin head

Y'all gon' make me lose my cool
Pumpkin head, pumpkin head

That is all.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:02 PM on October 31, 2016 [14 favorites]

I did the pumpkin head costume one year. Yes, it was heavy, but it was easy to take on and off, so I could take a break whenever it got to be too much.

The way I carved the pumpkin, I wound up looking mostly out the mouth when I was moving. I also was out with friends, who helped me navigate.

I used a couple bike tail lights inside, it came out really good. Definitely my best adult Halloween costume.
posted by inparticularity at 12:31 PM on October 31, 2016 [5 favorites]

Never go full David S. Pumpkins.
posted by I-baLL at 12:32 PM on October 31, 2016 [4 favorites]

unflappable parents. .

with dad's lack of surprise you get the feeling that Kristy getting her head stuck in a pumpkin is an annual Halloween tradition. Someone should sign her up for a mousetrap seminar before she does some real damage to herself.
posted by any major dude at 12:53 PM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

unflappable parents

If they've had to deal with that motor-mouth younger son for any amount of time, they'd have to either develop unflappability or go off the deep end.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:14 PM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

See, now here's where I have sympathy for the father in this scenario . I'm upstairs after a long day of work trying to have a scotch and catch up on Metafilter, maybe sneak a smoke in the bathroom. "Honey you guys get started with the pumpkins and I'll join you in a little bit."

*2 minutes later*
"Dad! Dad! Come quick! Oldest child stuck their head in a pumpkin and can't get it out!"

Jesus fucking Christ. I'm at work all day long and now I'm the fucking getting heads out of pumpkins expert? And your mom is just standing there filming? Damn straight you're calling the fire department. If anyone needs me I'll be upstairs watching the Cubs game.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:23 PM on October 31, 2016 [21 favorites]

Her enemies are mostly dead,
She's mean and unforgiving.
Keep away from Pumpkinhead,
Unless you're tired of living.
posted by JohnFromGR at 1:38 PM on October 31, 2016 [6 favorites]

I don't know why this bothers me, but can anybody understand the little brother's song? I get "I can carve [something] with my pumpkin."

As someone who once had a made-up song from a 4th grade class, which I still insist to this day makes absolute perfect sense, that started "the towel comes with the room, and the room comes from the janitorial closet," I can relate.
posted by zachlipton at 2:21 PM on October 31, 2016

Notice how when her brother was supporting her from behind when she had the pumpkin on her head and was thrashing around a little (about 1:55), he held his hand away somewhat awkwardly so it wouldn't actually touch her butt and used his wrist instead? Plus, he dropped his knife very abruptly and grabbed the pumpkin to help her hold it up the instant he realized how vulnerable she might be to all that weight.

I'm impressed with that kid.
posted by jamjam at 2:38 PM on October 31, 2016 [11 favorites]

Previously, on the internet: This 15-Year-Old Got Stuck In A Barney Head And Firefighters Had To Save Her
posted by mhum at 3:25 PM on October 31, 2016

If I'd been the dad in that situation I would probably have suggested pouring some melted butter in there. Because even if it doesn't help as a lubricant, it'll make it more delicious for her to eat her way to freedom.
posted by pipeski at 4:17 PM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

If it had been my sister I would have suggested patience. Just wait a few days after Halloween and it will soften up enough to slip right off. Because that's the kind of wise older brother I am.
posted by TedW at 5:13 PM on October 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

"I may have learned my lesson, but maybe not," Darby said. "I've been stuck in many things before."

This is a perfect encapsulation of the human condition.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:32 PM on October 31, 2016 [9 favorites]

It was funnier the first time I read the post title:

"Teen's Head Stuck in Penguin"
posted by raider at 6:04 PM on October 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

They represent the two classic archetypes of brothers.

Anyone who has spent time in the most recent election thread knows that there's a third type of brother who results in floor pie.
posted by mudpuppie at 6:47 PM on October 31, 2016 [4 favorites]

I was the kind of brother who would have offered to fetch the chainsaw.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:56 PM on October 31, 2016

The kid that keeps singing is really annoying. Even worse, I realize that that was me when I was a kid...

By about his fouth refrain, I was thinking that the wrong sibling got their head trapped in a gourd.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:58 PM on October 31, 2016 [6 favorites]

And a new Sedaris family is born.
posted by soakimbo at 7:59 PM on October 31, 2016 [5 favorites]

For every hero, there is a time when he or she needs to step forward. time. Squirrel Girl, we need you! Gnaw this girl free!
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:53 AM on November 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I can carve a belly button in my pumpkin.

Any questions?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:01 PM on November 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

So, so many...
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:34 PM on November 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I read that in Ralph Wiggum's voice, Ambrosia.
posted by symbioid at 12:02 AM on November 2, 2016