Prometheus 2
December 24, 2016 9:59 PM   Subscribe

 
I....dont really know what to think about that. Visually stunning, but seems to be plagued by the incoherence that dogged Prometheus. Looks to be a mashing together of Prometheus (alien planet, David, weird spores, etc), Alien (space haunted house, fleeing from unknown creatures on the ship), and Aliens (heavy equipment/ loader scene). Hopefully no Guy Pearce in the Bad Grampa mask.

And what is it about putting spaceship pilots in damn cowboy hats
posted by Existential Dread at 10:08 PM on December 24, 2016 [6 favorites]


what is it about not observing biocontainment protocols when exploring an alien world
posted by Apocryphon at 10:10 PM on December 24, 2016 [82 favorites]


Well see the atmospheric composition is almost identical to that of Earth so hey wait what are you doing
posted by Existential Dread at 10:11 PM on December 24, 2016 [27 favorites]


From IMDB : The crew of the colony ship Covenant discover what they think is an uncharted paradise, but it is actually a dark, dangerous world, whose sole inhabitant is the synthetic David, survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition.
posted by quinndexter at 10:20 PM on December 24, 2016


Damnit why don't we get more sassy detached fassbender head

Sassy detached fassbender head

Untz untz untz
posted by The Whelk at 10:20 PM on December 24, 2016 [37 favorites]


I would have otherwise been on the fence but the haunting movie trailer cover song just saved me $15
posted by STFUDonnie at 10:22 PM on December 24, 2016 [13 favorites]


My meta-film take is that Hollywood remade Total Recall in 2012, Robocop in 2014, and Point Break in 2015, and those anathemas weren't met with mass upheaval and public outrage, but near-complete indifference. They all bombed in the U.S. but all earned a profit thanks to international markets. So I say, if Ridley Scott wants to continue to do the same to his own legacy, at least it'll be entertaining in a perverse way, and I am hyped for Blade Runner 2049 thanks to the music and atmosphere in the trailer so who am I to judge
posted by Apocryphon at 10:22 PM on December 24, 2016 [1 favorite]


I guess his body was left in the ship when they took off, but it would have been more entertaining for him to carry his head around like a cephalophore.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:24 PM on December 24, 2016 [2 favorites]


I for one cannot wait for there to be a haunting movie trailer cover of the Inception horn
posted by Apocryphon at 10:25 PM on December 24, 2016 [12 favorites]


I'm imagining a kazoo with a lot of reverb
posted by STFUDonnie at 10:27 PM on December 24, 2016 [9 favorites]


It makes perfect sense once you realize this is just Love Actually 2.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 10:36 PM on December 24, 2016 [12 favorites]


Lame. I wanted the Noomi-Rapace-crashing-the-alien-Jesus-homeworld, reverse-Starbow-style epic I was teased with!
posted by Rhaomi at 10:42 PM on December 24, 2016 [8 favorites]


I feel like we need Sigourney Weaver to save us from the third film in this prequel series.
posted by No-sword at 10:44 PM on December 24, 2016 [3 favorites]


I really do not understand the storyline of Prometheus, but perhaps that's because I haven't seen it since it came out. I mean, doesn't it basically come down to Weyland wanting to live forever, and then for some reason the Engineers want to destroy humanity? But didn't they create humanity with that goo? Maybe I should just rewatch it.
posted by gucci mane at 10:47 PM on December 24, 2016


I think some of the deleted scenes might actually explain the plot where the theatrical cut failed to.
posted by Apocryphon at 10:50 PM on December 24, 2016


It's not thrilling when you know that the people coming to the planet start getting infected, and then, aliens pop out, and oh no, run!

Like what do you think? It'll take an hour and change from, "this is paradise", to, "Hey something's not right" to, "I AM THE SOLE SURVIVOR!" That's not necessarily wrong, but don't you think the trailer should be suspenseful? The OG Prometheus trailer at least nailed that, rather than make me just... sigh. As flawed as that movie was. The OG Alien trailer explained NOTHING, yet I am engaged.
posted by alex_skazat at 11:03 PM on December 24, 2016


Alien is one of the best films I've ever seen. A lot of that is in the subtlety and sense of mystery married to beautiful art direction: here is a world, with no explanation, colliding into a wholly alien other world, with no explanation. There's a sense of an infinite universe full of endless varieties of weird horror.

Prometheus is one of the worst films I've ever seen. A lot of that is in the lack of subtlety and insistence on explaining everything, with inconsistent writing and visual styles. It might be okay to tell a story about the Space Jockeys and the origins of the aliens, but the explanations given are boring. They remove wonder and horror from this universe.

This looks bad. Capitalism ruins everything.
posted by byanyothername at 11:08 PM on December 24, 2016 [45 favorites]


They kind of gave away... a lot... in that trailer. Bad sign about the quality of the movie.
posted by My Dad at 11:12 PM on December 24, 2016 [6 favorites]


Given the quality of Avatar and of Prometheus, maybe we should let David Fincher try making a post-Alien sci-fi romp instead.
posted by Apocryphon at 11:14 PM on December 24, 2016 [3 favorites]


You know, when I think about what I've always wanted from an Alien movie, the one thing that I felt was completely lacking in the first two goings, was definitely a naked shower sex scene interrupted by an alien. And then to see a naked woman covered in blood, screaming. That's definitely not scraping the bottom of the barrel, no sirree, not at all, 100% fresh and original idea there. Not something people have seen before, ever, especially not in dozens upon dozens of low-budget hacky slasher films.
posted by Neronomius at 11:16 PM on December 24, 2016 [48 favorites]


Existential Dread: "I guess his body was left in the ship when they took off, but it would have been more entertaining for him to carry his head around like a cephalophore."

Or like Dr. Carl Hill out of Reanimator?
posted by Samizdata at 11:54 PM on December 24, 2016 [4 favorites]


I really do not understand the storyline of Prometheus, but perhaps that's because I haven't seen it since it came out. I mean, doesn't it basically come down to Weyland wanting to live forever, and then for some reason the Engineers want to destroy humanity? But didn't they create humanity with that goo? Maybe I should just rewatch it.
posted by gucci mane


The film was partially incoherent not because of any failing on your part in grasping the material, but because the whole thing was screwed up by the filmmakers working with essentially two incompatible scripts.
posted by Sleeper at 11:58 PM on December 24, 2016 [10 favorites]


S C R E A M
posted by poffin boffin at 12:18 AM on December 25, 2016


i can't wait to aggressively love this movie 10,000 times more than any of the whiny prometheus haters hate it
posted by poffin boffin at 12:18 AM on December 25, 2016 [12 favorites]


When I encounter a meter-high, slimy pod looking thing on an alien planet that suddenly opens its slimy petals/tentacles to reveal an even-more-slimy-looking mound of quivering putrescence--when all that happens, clearly the Thing To Do is to calmly stick your face towards it to get a closer look.

That shot of Billy Crudup tells me this commits the same sins as Prometheus with its incredibly dumb characters. Or is this a horror cliche I'm just now realizing is mind-numbingly awful?
posted by zardoz at 12:30 AM on December 25, 2016 [7 favorites]


Epimetheus: In space, no one can hear you bumble to Benny Hill music
posted by benzenedream at 12:36 AM on December 25, 2016 [13 favorites]


zardoz: "When I encounter a meter-high, slimy pod looking thing on an alien planet that suddenly opens its slimy petals/tentacles to reveal an even-more-slimy-looking mound of quivering putrescence--when all that happens, clearly the Thing To Do is to calmly stick your face towards it to get a closer look.

That shot of Billy Crudup tells me this commits the same sins as Prometheus with its incredibly dumb characters. Or is this a horror cliche I'm just now realizing is mind-numbingly awful?
"

Because, if you weren't stupid and flamed the whole area, people would be bitching the movie was too short?

Merry Christmas, you lovable bunch of beanplaters!
posted by Samizdata at 12:47 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


Given the quality of Avatar and of Prometheus, maybe we should let David Fincher try making a post-Alien sci-fi romp instead.

Been there, done that.
posted by ApathyGirl at 12:48 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


I loved Prometheus. The entire second half was Noomi Rapace kicking serious ass, and Michael Fassbender was terrific. However, this new movie looks too similar. I'm kinda bummed.
posted by Brocktoon at 12:52 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


I read Apocryphon's comment but I didn't realize David Fincher was the director of Alien 3. Well, I'll be.
posted by Sleeper at 12:56 AM on December 25, 2016


Because, if you weren't stupid and flamed the whole area, people would be bitching the movie was too short?

Not to be the "Actually" guy, but the Alien movies (like most others) are better when the heroes don't act like morons but still end up in big trouble. It's totally possible!
posted by No-sword at 1:23 AM on December 25, 2016 [13 favorites]


I am in a dream. I click on the link to official trailer #1. Months pass. I am clicking on official trailer #2 and reading reviews of it online. It is June of 2012, I am buying IMAX tickets. I sit down in a packed movie theater. I am watching the new Ridley Scott film Prometheus. I am in a bad dream.

It is Dec 24th, 2016. I am clicking on official trailer #1 [...remember...]
posted by Auden at 2:02 AM on December 25, 2016 [13 favorites]


No-sword: "Because, if you weren't stupid and flamed the whole area, people would be bitching the movie was too short?

Not to be the "Actually" guy, but the Alien movies (like most others) are better when the heroes don't act like morons but still end up in big trouble. It's totally possible!
"

That is SO adorbs you think mainstream Hollywood has ANY respect for the intellect of the movie-going public!

Yes, in case you missed it, I am being witheringly sarcastic. ("Adorbs" only exists in my snarkabulary.)
posted by Samizdata at 2:08 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


Welp, it passes the Bechdel test at the very beginning of the trailer, so at least there's that.

And what is it about putting spaceship pilots in damn cowboy hats

Hah, beat me to it. I mean, how many people today wear types of hats that are several hundred years old, apart from historical reenactment purposes?
posted by jklaiho at 2:24 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


Prometheus left such a bad taste in my mouth, I can't really take this trailer too seriously. As much as I like Fassbender, and his character in Prometheus was probably that film's strongest element, focusing a trailer on him seems misguided to me. But they are making a Prometheus sequel, even though most people agree that film was shite - so why not focus on him? It's a pity that a series that has been led be a female protagonist (including, I guess, Noomi Rapace's character in Prometheus) that Covenant is emphasising Fassbender over all else. And using a cover of Nature Boy, which - as far as films go - I mostly link to Moulin Rouge, feels like a very strange choice. But that might be me.

This does feel like a mash-up of the previous films, which I guess happens once you get to entry number six in a series. But the idea that this one has a back burster instead of a chest burster makes me roll my eyes hard. And Neronomius' comment above about the alienus coitus interruptus scene is spot on - this feels gratuitous on levels the Alien franchise never needed to be. And it seems particularly egregious in a series that never felt the need to sexualise its female characters previously.
posted by crossoverman at 2:40 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


And what is it about putting spaceship pilots in damn cowboy hats

By now it's just lazy cultural shorthand, and I blame Stanley Kubrick; they could at least show some originality and have the pilot wear a fez or a tricorn.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:42 AM on December 25, 2016 [11 favorites]


Prometheus 2: Electric Prometheu
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:45 AM on December 25, 2016 [8 favorites]


Honestly, I'll probably enjoy it. Prometheus had some flaws, for sure, but it's still kinda fascinating. And it's miles better than the Aliens Vs. Predator movie.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:48 AM on December 25, 2016


What a shitty commercial. I love the alien franchise (except when predators are involved) but I hated Prometheus and this does not help things ...
posted by hoodrich at 3:28 AM on December 25, 2016


Set phasers on *ignore*.
posted by hoodrich at 3:28 AM on December 25, 2016 [10 favorites]


I'm not convinced Scott and co are capable of doing anything new and interesting successfully in the Alien universe and this trailer's intense similarity to Alien did not help.

Scott's films have always been primarily focused on visual style but it just seems like an empty fetish for him now.
posted by selfnoise at 3:30 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


I mean, how many people today wear types of hats that are several hundred years old, apart from historical reenactment purposes?

Like the Phrygian cap, centuries from now cowboy hats will have gone from the emblem of bad-asses and the cavalry you call in when the odds are against you, to something that garden gnomes wear.
posted by XMLicious at 4:11 AM on December 25, 2016 [19 favorites]


No.

This looks like another terrible movie from the sausage factory of Hollywood. Scott is too old to make new and interesting things. Money is too invested in this product to let it die. Welcome to the zombie franchise of Alien: shambling across your screens for the foreseeable future.
posted by The River Ivel at 4:17 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


Why can't they bring ice-queen Charlize Theron back as an android this time?


Actually, what I really want to see is Alien vs. Furiosa.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:52 AM on December 25, 2016 [15 favorites]


That shot of Billy Crudup tells me this commits the same sins as Prometheus with its incredibly dumb characters. Or is this a horror cliche I'm just now realizing is mind-numbingly awful?"

Most genre movies are much easier for your higher brain to sit through if you remind yourself at the beginning, This is taking place in a universe where this genre of movie does not exist. Billy Crudup's character never saw Alien or any of its ripoffs, so he just doesn't know not to do that. Like how people in horror movies never learned not to split up, or people in romcoms never learned to communicate more clearly.
posted by Etrigan at 4:54 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


Damnit why don't we get more sassy detached fassbender head

You should watch Lexx.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 5:04 AM on December 25, 2016 [7 favorites]


I don't really get why trailers give away so much of the plot when there's no real reason to.

The girl at the start locked in the room - it's enough to show her terror, no need to show the alien emerging from the dude and then her cowering in the corner with the knife.

Or the alien thing hatching is good enough, no need to show it leaping onto the poor guy's face.

Or at the shower scene at the end, it's enough to show the tail appearing in the scene, no need to show the guy dying in a gory manner.

That's at least 3 people we know will die in advance. I mean what the hell?

For an example of how to do it right, look at the recent Star Wars movies - The Force Awakens ... (or the Japanese trailer which I prefer) and Rogue One original trailer.

They all had awesome, exciting trailers that really made you want to watch the movie by sketching out the major action pieces and characters without actually telling you who lived and who died, or giving away any substantial spoilers about the story.
posted by xdvesper at 5:10 AM on December 25, 2016 [6 favorites]


Hard pass.
posted by codacorolla at 5:41 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


Scott is too old to make new and interesting things.

Well, The Martian was pretty awesome.

But yeah, this is incredibly underwhelming.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:12 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


So tired, Ridley Scott is out of new ideas, this is just Alien+Aliens+Alien 3+Sassy Attached Fassbender Head.

Wait, that sounds amazing.
posted by zippy at 6:39 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


to something that garden gnomes wear.

Wait, that's a thing???
posted by sammyo at 6:47 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


So tired, Ridley Scott is out of new ideas....

that can get big budget hollywood funding.
posted by sammyo at 6:49 AM on December 25, 2016


"We don't know what's out there!"

You work on a spaceship, dear.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:57 AM on December 25, 2016 [8 favorites]


Ridley Scott is great with imagery and with the mechanics of making a script into a movie, but I really get the impression that he isn't that much of an "ideas" guy, per se. So really, everything is going to be dependent on the quality of the screenwriters and how many producers they had around them foisting terrible ideas upon them. In the case of The Martian we got lucky, in the case of Prometheus far less so.

This thing... well, I share the misgivings of many of you...
posted by Artw at 6:57 AM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]


Prometheus had some flaws, for sure, but it's still kinda fascinating. And it's miles better than the Aliens Vs. Predator movie.

NO NO NO. The first AVP movie is way better than it had to be to satisfy the studio. Script is way better, acting is way better, and it's vastly better-looking than you would expect for the b-movie that it is.

AND our hero is a black woman and nobody ever mentions it. No long discussions of how she overcame her innate weaknesses as a black woman. Everyone just accepts that this person is a total badass we should listen to, because she obviously is and because people know her qualifications. AND a dude gets fridged, sort of, except she's too badass to do much besides keep on TCB.

It's a b-movie, make no mistake. But it's a b-movie where they gave a shit.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:06 AM on December 25, 2016 [28 favorites]


Prometheus made ~127 domestic, 277 foreign, and had a reported budget of 130, which means probably about 65 in marketing. That's a pretty decent haul, and I can see why the studio would be eager for a franchise, even if I have some doubts about how well that's going to carry given Prometheus' critical reception.

I really, really disliked The Martian. Prometheus was visually inventive in places, but the plot distracted from it a lot (I should probably watch it again, though). Looking back through his filmography: Exodus: Gods and Kings, The Counselor, and the Robin Hood reboot are all extremely mediocre (arguably worse) movies. The last thing he's made that I liked was American Gangster, and really that was only so-so. I dunno, that generation of directors hasn't fared very well (artistically, anyway) in the current media landscape. In a certain way it's not a big deal, since there are many young and up and coming directors who have built on the styles and ideas of the big names from the 70s and 80s, but it is frustrating to see someone like Scott spin his wheels for over a decade.
posted by codacorolla at 7:08 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


Billy Crudup's character never saw Alien or any of its ripoffs, so he just doesn't know not to do that.

The simpler explanation is that the expert system writing this stuff has determined an additional 0.3% of some desirable demographic will pay to watch the film if the trailer includes a familiar face-hugger scene.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:15 AM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]


The Martian was good, yeah, and had some nice visuals that were very Scott-ish, but that was a hot property that could have been made into a good movie by any number of other people. This thing looks like Scott re-reading some of the negative reviews of Prometheus, throwing his hands up in the air, and going, "Right, then, buckets of blood it is."

Oh, well. Anyone hear anything about Neill Blomkamp's let's-forget-about-the-third-and-fourth-films Alien sequel? Latest thing I've found is this bit from last April. Also, something on Blomkamp's Wikipedia page about how they're waiting to see how Covenant does, I guess?
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:16 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


Last year I was trapped in a tent with 3 friends for 4 days due to unexpected weather and it rapidly devolved into naming our farts after characters from the Alien franchise. "Oh! That's a Newt!" "Whoa! That was a Ripley!" etc etc. and have been unable to forget it since so I for one am looking forward to this movie.
posted by barchan at 7:19 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


I'm not even sure of what was happening in that trailer, but I think I'll wait just in case.
posted by Kitteh at 7:19 AM on December 25, 2016


Nobody liked Prometheus, but at least it wasn't just Alien again. This looks like Alien again. Oh cool, a quirky crewmember with a cowboy hat. They gave him character traits to make you feel like he's not just a redshit who's there to die later, so you'll be more surprised when it happens (except there have already been ten of these movies so nobody will be surprised by anything).

Yes, the alien navigator was super cool, the egg that kills you was super cool, but they were super cool because NOBODY HAD SEEN THEM BEFORE.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:35 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


So, I agree that this looks terrible and I admit that I will see it on the first day.

I don't really get why trailers give away so much of the plot when there's no real reason to.

This is a movie in the Alien franchise. We know that hella people gonna die, trying to be coy about it in the trailers isn't going to preserve any kind of surprise.

Prometheus over promised to those of us who love the heady-atmospheric parts of the franchise. It disappointed us, and turned off the space marines and 'splosions viewers pretty much completely.

This trailer tells us that this movie retreads pays homage to some of the most iconic moments in the series. Not-John-Hurt chestburster surprise? Check. Futile attempt to fight off face hugger? Check. Shady-ass robot? Check. The millenials and under who grew up with allusions to all that awesome are getting their own versions of it, with some bonus sexytimes.

We know that we are not going to be expected to think too hard. This won't be like prometheus, they promise.

I might want it to not be like Prometheus in a different way than this, but my butt will be in a seat regardless. This trailer is for Not Me.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:46 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


The thing that made me really excited about Prometheus was that the ending - let's go see where all this came from - seemed to hint that the next movie would be a deep dive into the Engineers. I envisioned these two little peoples landing on a full civilized planet populated by these huge pale titans, cities and skyways and the kind of alien culture that's completely baffling to a couple small hairy ape-things from earth. Something like Moebius's more spare futuristic stuff, or the video game Out Of This World. This looks... comparatively boring.
posted by Greg Nog at 7:53 AM on December 25, 2016 [11 favorites]


Did it occur to anyone else that Epimetheus is actually a perfect title for folks who created a box full of troubles that destroyed them?

It'd be even better if Dr. Shaw or David was the one who fucked up and opened it, a la Pandora, given that both were "created by the gods" so to speak.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:58 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I was willing to sort of take Prometheus' many failings as 'okay' if they were in fact, an elaborate setup for 'This Super Awesome Next Chapter' of the Alien Saga about The Engineers where we would, at last, get all the HR Giger-esque City/World-building aluded-to by the art design of the 'Chair' scene, the 'Alien' itself, and the 'Crashed Alien Starship' from Alien.

Nope. Highlight reel of Alien+Aliens. I don't know what to think about the 'new visual' design cue lifted and enhanced from Kubrick where 'Minimalist Stylish Person' in a totally white environment = Hyperreal Perfection That You The Viewer Should Question. It's at least 2001-era-old at this point.
posted by mrdaneri at 7:59 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


i can't wait to aggressively love this movie 10,000 times more than any of the whiny prometheus haters hate it

I need to watch this garbage movie for the good of my health. WHAT HAPPENED TO ROBOT'S BLOND HAIR what trauma convinced him he did not want to look like lawrence of arabia anymore????? "trailer spoils all the plot twists" the FUCK it does

and everybody needs to stop trying to make "nobody liked prometheus" happen. you wish! nobody should have liked it is a different thing. if there is a funnier series of post-abortion-machine sight gags about things you shouldn't fall onto torso-first fresh out of surgery, I have not seen it. who even knew that was a comedy genre.
posted by queenofbithynia at 8:06 AM on December 25, 2016 [6 favorites]


Different robot.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:09 AM on December 25, 2016


well I know fassbender is two robots and billy crudup is clearly a robot. what if in Covenant, everybody is a robot except one crew member is a secret human? is that a good idea or what?

like Man who was Thursday style. or the Futurama ep where Fry goes to robot jail. can Ridley Scott even have a staff with one tenth the enthusiasm for bad ideas that I have? why won't he call me
posted by queenofbithynia at 8:13 AM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]


And what is it about putting spaceship pilots in damn cowboy hats

How else is he going to ride the nuke down to the planet's surface while screaming "Yee-haw!!!!"?

Please tell me that happens in this.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:23 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


Highlight reel of Alien+Aliens

Not even sure Scott has seen Aliens TBH, and he's certainly not going to be deliberately basing anything on it.
posted by Artw at 8:27 AM on December 25, 2016


ROU_Xenophobe, I don't disagree with anything you said there (except maybe some things about the script I cannot now remember), but I probably just hated it because I loved the comic as much as I did, and had higher expectations for AVP than maybe I should have. One of my big complaints was that they lifted a lot of the story beats of the lead character from the comic, and she was forced into a lesser story.
That said, much of what I like in the AVP comics is the particular setting and the character relationships, and pretty much all of that is absent from the movie.

I guess I should give it another chance.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 8:28 AM on December 25, 2016


Aliens is a perfectly good fanfilm, but I see no reason to consider it canon.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:30 AM on December 25, 2016 [6 favorites]


>They gave him character traits to make you feel like he's not just a redshit

Not that anybody cares, but "redSHIRT" was the idea, there. Though there's a strong argument for just going with the typo.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 8:44 AM on December 25, 2016 [6 favorites]


In space, everyone over reacts after eating too much beets.
posted by Artw at 8:47 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


Shoot. There goes my 'Paul Reiser in character as Burke' for Secretary of Transportation, 2020 hope.
posted by mrdaneri at 8:47 AM on December 25, 2016


Last year I was trapped in a tent with 3 friends for 4 days due to unexpected weather and it rapidly devolved into naming our farts after characters from the Alien franchise. "Oh! That's a Newt!" "Whoa! That was a Ripley!" etc etc. and have been unable to forget it since [...]

Thank you for sharing this slice of life.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:53 AM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]


I watched Prometheus with the sound off on a long-haul flight (I get so tired and so bored and so uncomfortable on long flights that I can't do anything except stare at a screen).

With the sound off the movie sort of makes sense.
posted by My Dad at 9:34 AM on December 25, 2016


Prometheus subverted the entire premise of Alien, which made it completely stupid and not why I like the story of Alien. Instead of being animals, hunted and alone, humans are THE MOST SPECIAL THING EVER, created by a godlike alien race for a purpose? How...weirdly religious and dumb. This preview seems more horror with the running and screaming, so okay. But I can't respect much that doesn't even understand what was scary about the original material.
posted by agregoli at 9:36 AM on December 25, 2016 [5 favorites]


I think there's a lot of interesting things to be said about Alien, and Aliens, to some extent. One of the things that is there is a certain tension about technology. Ripley is certainly a character who is extremely skilled at using technological systems to her advantage ('Consider her insistence on adherence to quarantine protocol.'). This tension is played with throughout the film, by different characters in different ways, to build and release 'horror'-type movie fun.

Prometheus definitely didn't 'get' this, and it definitely left me wondering what happened, because Ridley Scott definitely did, as far as his original script notes and illustrations for 'Alien' indicate. Who knows. There were script problems. Making a movie in 2017 is very different than 1979.
posted by mrdaneri at 9:51 AM on December 25, 2016


I'm wondering if the title / choice of name for the colony ship was intended as a dig at the Halo franchise for their straight up theft of Sgt. Apone from Aliens to give a characterization to Halo's Sgt. A.J. Johnson.
posted by radwolf76 at 10:04 AM on December 25, 2016


naming our farts after characters from the Alien franchise

barchan: Also Keepin' MetaFilter Classy Since 2007™
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:13 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


Prometheus Explained.

Not everyone dislikes or was confused by Prometheus. I for one love the notion that the xenotransformation of species like Humans is an ongoing religious project for the Engineers, one that got away from them.

Honestly, I would love to hear from people who didn't like Prometheus; does the above video change your mind at all about the merits of the movie?
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:15 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


Looks like Ridley Scott took his notebook of random ideas for another Alien movie and started shooting it, developing the "screenplay" as he went.

This just seems like the phenomenon where a creator gets so influential and powerful that no one can tell them "No, you've gone too far up your own ass. Pull it back a little."

I'd be way more excited about another Alien retread if it were directed by Tarsem Singh or Wim Wenders.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 10:16 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


Welp, it passes the Bechdel test at the very beginning of the trailer, so at least there's that.

Didn't you see what the one in the locked room was trying to escape from? It was a guy! Sure, it was an infected guy, about to burst, but still...
posted by mystyk at 10:23 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


What I don't get is the life-cycle of the alien exomorph thingies. It seems like it's all mixed up from movie to movie.

In the original Aliens, the crew of the Nostromo discovered the eggs; the facehuggers implanted a parasite in their human host that burst out and created an exomorph (that defies the laws of thermodynamics and grows exponentially in a short time).

The exomorph kills everyone on the ship. Then what?

In the second movie, Aliens, there is a queen that lays eggs everywhere. But this aspect of the life-cycle seems tacked on.
posted by My Dad at 10:28 AM on December 25, 2016


I'd be way more excited about another Alien retread if it were directed by Tarsem Singh or Wim Wenders.

This is an approach to the cycle of endless rebooting I could behind, and if you're going to go as far as Wim Wenders why stop there? I'm thinking Werner Herzog, or Aki Kaurismaki.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:28 AM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]


This deleted scene from Alien shows that Scott made at least a token attempt to address the lifecycle issue at that time.

As for the thermodynamics, yeah. Who knows. Maybe they eat metal or something.

And then, Aliens, different direction, scratch all that. And then Alien cubed, scratch all that. And so on and so forth.
posted by mrdaneri at 10:31 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


And there's a whole other sidebar mythology that the xenomorphs were bred by the Predators in order to train the youngins.
posted by gsh at 10:31 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


does the above video change your mind at all about the merits of the movie?

The Twin Perfect explainer video just frustrates me more about Prometheus because I am very intrigued by that reading of the story, and I wish it had been coherently conveyed in the movie. I shouldn't need deleted scenes, snippets from marketing materials, or interviews with the director to unravel the plot.

Honestly, if the movie had figured out out a way to show us (if not the characters) more of the motivations of the Engineers, it would have hung together better for me. But what I saw on the screen was a beautiful mess.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:34 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


This deleted scene from Alien shows that Scott made at least a token attempt to address the lifecycle issue at that time.

[...]

And then, Aliens, different direction, scratch all that. And then Alien cubed, scratch all that. And so on and so forth.


This mish-mash of logic regarding the lifecycle of the exomorphs contributes towards making Prometheus such a confusing movie, I think.
posted by My Dad at 10:40 AM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


All you need to know about the science of the Alien franchise is "molecular acid"
posted by Existential Dread at 11:15 AM on December 25, 2016 [7 favorites]


I'd also throw in the franchise has gradually been diluting out the essential class markers that made it so relatable [Walter Hill/David Giler, Dan O'Bannon - Alien/ James Cameron - Aliens].

Space Truckers and boring space people -> Space Marines and space colonists-- > Space Prisoners --> Space Mercenaries --> Space Ph.D's --> ?

The most successful Aliens bits were definitely about regular, even mundane people walking face first into unknowable, existential horror. Now we've got Space Ph.D Linguist/Archaeologist people deciphering runestones and whatnot. I think the overall experience is diluted considerably.

Merry Unknowable Space Horror Christmas.
posted by mrdaneri at 11:21 AM on December 25, 2016 [10 favorites]


Personally, I'm waiting for "The Big Prometheus", where the xenomorph and David say "f*ck it" and go bowling.
posted by CosmicRayCharles at 11:41 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]


Upon reflection...
I'm kinda glad Lindelof isn't available for a second movie because man that script got botched.
posted by vuron at 12:23 PM on December 25, 2012
whoops!

Upon review:bowlingballreturnburster!
posted by y2karl at 11:52 AM on December 25, 2016


This trailer feels like someone showed an AI several successful sci-fi and horror movies from the past few years, and then all the Alien franchise movies in order, and it calculated this movie as the logical next iteration.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:55 AM on December 25, 2016 [5 favorites]


What makes Prometheus, this movie, and anything else that follows such a stinking pile of garbage?
Having humans involved in the creation/origin of the Aliens makes them, by definition, NOT. ALIENS. (FFS).
posted by sexyrobot at 12:36 PM on December 25, 2016 [2 favorites]


But have they continued from Prometheus the method of crew selection being a raffle at an arsehole convention?
Prometheus is visually stunning and has a great soundtrack, but that doesn't excuse the crew's actions being so stupid that you wouldn't trust them to make a run to the supermarket for you, let alone a run into space. This trailer doesn't look as pretty, but it's too early to judge whether or not the crew are capable of, well, anything.
posted by Vortisaur at 1:11 PM on December 25, 2016 [6 favorites]


On the other hand, it would completely rock if all of those scenes were from the first 10 minutes.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:17 PM on December 25, 2016 [5 favorites]


Having humans involved in the creation/origin of the Aliens makes them, by definition, NOT. ALIENS. (FFS).

It's an allegory about the immigration debate and xenophobia. Covenant 2 is where it's revealed that the xenomorphs, rather than being Monsters, Inc. type misunderstood outsiders, actually represent virulent bigoted racism.
posted by XMLicious at 1:21 PM on December 25, 2016


that doesn't excuse the crew's actions being so stupid that you wouldn't trust them to make a run to the supermarket for you

It works better when you realize this is basically the crew that would agree to go on a a voyage led by Erich von Däniken and funded by late period Howard Hughes. They're the fucking bottom of the barrel in each respective discipline.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 2:00 PM on December 25, 2016 [8 favorites]


what if in Covenant, everybody is a robot except one crew member is a secret human?

That would have made Alien: Resurrection a fucking fantastic movie. After Call tries to kill Riplien, everyone's like, hey, you were on this secret mission all along--are you, like, an android or something? And then it turns out that the entire crew of the Betty are androids; they're all defective units or discontinued models or never-put-into-production prototypes. She's the only human. Johner gets a facehugger and he's laughing: "Hey, everybody, get a load of this little fucker trying to implant me! Boo! hahahah"
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:19 PM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]


The Alien: Isolation game, which is the best homage to the original Alien as there can be, had you stuck on a space station dodging dodgy androids, in a addition to the one xenomorph and gun-toting human survivors. It's pretty scary being the one human.
posted by Apocryphon at 3:48 PM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]


Honestly, I would love to hear from people who didn't like Prometheus; does the above video change your mind at all about the merits of the movie?

If it takes watching a 28-minute video to understand a 2-hour movie I suggest the movie is not good.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:59 PM on December 25, 2016 [13 favorites]


As an aside, my favorite part of playing Alien:Isolation was Seegson Synthetics. I loved that Wayland-Yutani was actually the mid/ high end of the space exploration merchandise market by comparison.
posted by mrdaneri at 5:44 PM on December 25, 2016


The piano in the trailer for Alien:Covenant is not the same piano that appears in Prometheus, says the guy who notices pianos.
posted by lagomorphius at 8:50 PM on December 25, 2016 [7 favorites]


The environs in Isolation were straight up amazing. Wonderful setting as a character stuff going on there.
posted by Strange_Robinson at 9:12 PM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


There's a fan edit of Prometheus that makes it into a much better film. There's a description here:

Agent 9 Prometheus - Special Edition

It's still not a perfect movie, by any stretch, but it eliminates some of the stupid stuff from the theatrical cut and integrates almost all of the deleted scenes really well. It's generally tighter, and it makes more sense. The motivations of the characters are clearer.

I enjoyed Prometheus, even though it was deeply flawed, and I'm really excited about Covenant. I'm an unabashed fan of the series, though, and have found something to like in all of the films. I think the first film has a ton of fascinating subtext about class and feminism, in particular, and operates on so many levels that it invites pretty deep analysis. The sequels are way less interesting in that respect, but are mostly entertaining. Aliens is still the best sci/action film ever made, even though it shed most of the deeper stuff from the first film.

I blame most of the problems in Prometheus on Lindelof, who is kind of terrible. He seems to be some kind of special genius who can cook up an unlimited number of interesting ideas that are only 60 - 75% complete. Almost everything he touches ends up being unsatisfying.

Ridley Scott has made some clunkers, but he's also made some of the most interesting and important films in the last 35 years. I thought The Martian was a terrific film, even as a huge fan of the book. He is a master at pacing, and he's usually very good with tone, which is much more than you can say for most directors working today. He also started out shooting all of his own stuff, and is enough of a control freak that the cinematography and VFX in his films are among the best. As incoherent as Prometheus was at times, it still contains some absolutely stunning art direction, cinematography, and VFX. There are individual scenes that are like master classes in how to build and release tension. It's just too bad that the script ended up so mangled by the time they started shooting.

The script writing team for Covenant does not fill me with confidence, unfortunately. John Logan has done some very good stuff, but the other two writers have some really terrible work on their resumes, despite being in shocking high demand right now.

Regardless, I suspect it will be more interesting than any of the Marvel movies. Prometheus wasn't great, but at least it wasn't bland and by-the-numbers.
posted by drklahn at 10:17 PM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]


I really like Alien.

I really don't like Aliens.

The guy that made Aliens made a movie about large blue people brain fucking horses in space vietnam.

The guy that made Alien was supposed to make a cool good movie that made sci fi ok again, but he made Prometheus instead.

I hope he does better with this one.
posted by ethansr at 12:05 AM on December 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


As we can clearly see from contemporary cultural output this is not what actually happens, but one of my idle fantasies is the trailer production team showing a cut of their trailer to the executive producers of the film, and receiving a combination of a stony silence, a withering stare, and a swift slap to the cheek when an egregious cliche is rolled out.

On the other hand, the Prometheus trailer was night on perfect, so maybe they're trying to just keep people's expectations down this time.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:39 AM on December 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'd be way more excited about another Alien retread if it were directed by Tarsem Singh or Wim Wenders.
This is an approach to the cycle of endless rebooting I could behind, and if you're going to go as far as Wim Wenders why stop there? I'm thinking Werner Herzog, or Aki Kaurismaki.
I, for one, welcome our new xenomorph anthology film by Kaurismäki, Herzog, Wenders, Tarsem and Jarmusch.
posted by Jansku at 5:34 AM on December 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


I dunno folks, I was really excited about Jean-Pierre Jeunet getting a turn after City of Lost Children, but lookit what happened.

(There are actually things I like a lot about Alien: Resurrection, but it is absolutely a mess.)
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 6:22 AM on December 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


My Dad: "What I don't get is the life-cycle of the alien exomorph thingies. It seems like it's all mixed up from movie to movie.

In the original Aliens, the crew of the Nostromo discovered the eggs; the facehuggers implanted a parasite in their human host that burst out and created an exomorph (that defies the laws of thermodynamics and grows exponentially in a short time).

The exomorph kills everyone on the ship. Then what?

In the second movie, Aliens, there is a queen that lays eggs everywhere. But this aspect of the life-cycle seems tacked on.
"

Nah, eventually a standard drone can evolve to a queen if in a situation with enough time and, erm, raw material to work with. Also, drones aren't really very bright and there wasn't enough to work with on the Nostromo to trigger the shift. Also, keep in mind, the xenomorphs are at least partially silicate.
posted by Samizdata at 6:39 AM on December 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


ethansr: "I really like Alien.

I really don't like Aliens.

The guy that made Aliens made a movie about large blue people brain fucking horses in space vietnam.

The guy that made Alien was supposed to make a cool good movie that made sci fi ok again, but he made Prometheus instead.

I hope he does better with this one.
"

Thanks God someone ELSE noticed the zoophilic bent of Avatar. So comforting to know it wasn't just me...

(I did however enjoy the second movie quite a bit. I liked the radical shift in tone after the first one.)
posted by Samizdata at 6:45 AM on December 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Venturing, way, way off topic, yeah about Avatar. It sort of represented the 'what has James Cameron become' low-water mark for me. You could argue he made respectable, not-unintelligent sci-fi action movies for a while [The Terminator, Aliens, The Abyss]. Then he did... other stuff. (Piranha 2...well..)

I still think The Director's cut of 'The Abyss' is due for a huge comeback being both somewhat timely in message and groundbreaking in its use of CGI (it, not T2 had production scale 'morphing' effects). Perhaps we'll see 21st C. Fox make a big rerelease splash or something one of these years. (WARNING TO INTERNET: Contains nonhorse romance)
posted by mrdaneri at 7:05 AM on December 26, 2016


I remember how excited I was seeing the trailer for Prometheus and then that sick sinking feeling I had as I actually watched it.
posted by octothorpe at 7:06 AM on December 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


The Alien: Isolation game, which is the best homage to the original Alien as there can be, had you stuck on a space station dodging dodgy androids, in a addition to the one xenomorph and gun-toting human survivors. It's pretty scary being the one human.

Alien:Isolation is great !! Sadly, I had to stop playing when I got the worst nightmares I ever had...
posted by Pendragon at 7:34 AM on December 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


I did too, actually, Pendragon. You can thank Jeff Van Dyck who used actual Pinewood Studios sounds for the impecable sound design in A:I for that.
posted by mrdaneri at 9:24 AM on December 26, 2016


I hope he does better with this one.

What's your take on David Fincher's installment, how do you think he'd do with another sci-fi movie vaguely inspired by it?
posted by Apocryphon at 11:05 AM on December 26, 2016


"Honestly, I would love to hear from people who didn't like Prometheus; does the above video change your mind at all about the merits of the movie?"

If it takes watching a 28-minute video to understand a 2-hour movie I suggest the movie is not good.


The possibility exists that it's really dense and chewy and rewards closer examination and deeper exploration of the themes and ideas being developed.

But the point of the video is that everything is up there on the screen.

I walked out of the movie thinking much the same as the TP reviewers, minus the quote from Levitucus.

Prometheus was referencing the myth of the Titan who created humanity, gifted us with fire (and by extension technology), and was punished for it by the gods. Engineers to humans to xenomorphs, humans to androids, android to human test subject, we get a chain of promethean creation and punishment.

I'm wondering how many levels of "covenant" references will this next movie make. The Covenant is a colony ship. Are they a religious movement?

Do the Engineers have a covenant with their god of biotransmogrification? Is said god an active presence like in the Hebrew bible, all pillar of Smoke & Fire, or is their god a removed, abstract deity in whose name and remembrance they lesser species in hissing, snapping beasties?

What is the covenant between the Engineers and their god? Is it a conditional one? Are they simply pledged to their actions, or are they trying to compel their god to fulfill his part of the contract?

I we were supposed to be transmogrified as a species by now, have the Engieneers failed to hold up their end of the covenant with their god?

I think this sequence of movies will bear the test of time when all is said and done.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 11:09 AM on December 26, 2016


Apocryphon, it's really tough to figure out what to think about David Fincher's work on Alien 3. He has essentially disowned the film. He's the only director who didn't accept an offer to re-cut his film for the Alien Quadrilogy Blu-Ray release, which was a shame. The Assembly cut of Alien 3 was built by another, far less famous director. Way back when, Fincher made it pretty clear that a lot of the problems in Alien 3 are due to studio meddling. It also had a ridiculous number of scripts and re-writes before it began shooting, with names like William Gibson attached to certain drafts. I think there was probably a terrific film buried in there somewhere, but what we got was crap assembled by committee. I think Fincher is one of, if not the most disciplined director working today. He is an absolute master of visual storytelling, pacing, and tone. Even with his prodigious skill, it was impossible to save that film.

The Assembly cut is better than the original, by the way. All of the special edition cuts are better than the theatrical cuts, imo. I don't think the first film really needed much of anything, and there are some choices that I wouldn't have made, but the special edition still manages to add some interesting stuff. Aliens is kind of similar, in that it's hard to improve upon the original, but most people like the bonus stuff from that film. The third and fourth are just begging to be completely re-thought and taken in a completely different direction.
posted by drklahn at 11:21 AM on December 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Not everyone dislikes or was confused by Prometheus

See, I couldn't even get around to caring about the plot. The characters were too stupid and unlikable to even get to that point.
posted by HFSH at 11:53 AM on December 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Prometheus was extremely pretty, had some great tense moments that actually worked, had David who was great, and many of the problems people cite with if are actually quite trifling or silly. But it has some huge problems:

1) Characters that act in the dumbest way possible to advance the plot/act as fodder for more monster scares are bad, but maybe not unpresidential for movies - but when you compare them with the fairly grounded, practical characters of previous Alien films they just seem ridiculous.
2) those monster scares really are just dropped in at intervals in a lazy ass hack manner. Hold some shit back and build some tension, movie, you're supposed to be a high class flick with dignity not some cheap save the cat plot beats by numbers crap.
3) The last screenwriter to touch it didn't believe in movies having to make sense, and it shows - he left the thing without any coherent story just a sort of plot shaped structure. You can sort of see what it was going for, but not without work on your part.
posted by Artw at 12:27 PM on December 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


I forgive Prometheus for a lot of the characters being dumb, because seriously, who signs up for a multi-year mission headed by some kooky nutcases to who knows where because they thought some cave paintings looked like a star map? Crazy people, that's who. No competent person in their right mind would be on that sort of mission in the first place.

That's not to say the screenwriters did a good job with setting up that scenario in the first place. Its just in retrospect, I would end up having equal trouble suspending disbelief if they had inexplicably found competent people for their mission.
posted by Zalzidrax at 1:27 PM on December 26, 2016


Apocryphon: What's your take on David Fincher's installment, how do you think he'd do with another sci-fi movie vaguely inspired by it?

I've seen 3 less and less coherently that 1/2, so my take is based more on impression than the actual film. That said, I liked it. Its certainly not the best movie, but it does translate two powerful ideas from Alien.

First, it maintains a sense of claustrophobia effectively. What is doubly interesting about this is that in Alien the tension came from the fact that no one could get off the ship and were forced to confront the alien in cramped interconnected spaces. In Alien 3, there are large spaces that people could be in, but ultimately they confront the alien in small tunnelsby choice.

Second, the tension in Alien is built on two types of trust: people need to trust each other and they need to trust the ship. Despite the fact that they are repeatedly betrayed by both, survival is a cooperative endeavor. A great deal of the characters' humanity comes from their willingness to risk themselves to help others in the face of absolute terror. In Alien 3, success (if you can call it that), comes at the cost of a string of people who go to the limits of their abilities despite an awful situation.

The second point is why I loathe Aliens (and Avatar) so much. It tries so hard to create scenarios in which human endeavor leads to failure. None of the expertise, equipment, or strength of character necessary to establish the mining colony are at all useful in dealing with the Aliens. The space marines aren't good at fighting. But Ripley can wreck the Queen with a forklift. The anomie of space vietnam consumes all.
posted by ethansr at 2:25 PM on December 26, 2016


Forklift driving is a useful human endeavor.
posted by Artw at 2:56 PM on December 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


Finally got somewhere with the bandwidth to watch the new trailer and boy that looks like crap. Prometheus was a failure but at least it felt like they were trying for something; this just looks like a cheap retread of greatest hits from the franchise.
posted by octothorpe at 6:59 PM on December 26, 2016


In case anyone's curious, Aurora - Nature Boy.
posted by WCityMike at 7:19 PM on December 26, 2016


The guy that made Alien was supposed to make a cool good movie that made sci fi ok again, but he made Prometheus instead.

No, he did! But it was The Martian.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 7:33 PM on December 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


I know the xenomorph reveal at the end and the idea to hunt for the creators of the colony set it up for a sequel, but is it wrong for me to ask the question "Who asked for this?"
posted by Selena777 at 7:58 PM on December 26, 2016


The original Alien movie is 37 years old. Imagine if, in 1980, people were making science fiction sequels to films made in 1943. I guess Godzilla, The Pink Panther, Friday the 13th, and the Bond franchise have shown similar or longer longevity, but c'mon, can't we rip off something else inspired by HR Giger at this point?
posted by benzenedream at 11:19 PM on December 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Let's reboot Species!

...

Okay, let's not reboot Species.
posted by Artw at 8:16 AM on December 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Who asked for this?"

Since this movie has been mentioned, here's the ultimate "Who asked for this?".
posted by Artw at 8:19 AM on December 27, 2016


The original Alien movie is 37 years old. Imagine if, in 1980, people were making science fiction sequels to films made in 1943

It's not sci-fi, and they are remakes (I'm pretty sure) but Lassie Come Home (1943) was followed by many movies including Lassie (1994) and Lassie (2005).

Star Wars and Planet of the Apes also have Alien beat. Ditto Superman (if you want to credit the DC extended universe stuff). Friday the 13th (1980) is a little newer but has a sequel slated for 2017. I could also mine the rich vein of live action remakes of Disney Golden Age movies that themselves were adaptations of stories captured in text in the 19th century but were in many cases much older.

So... I guess this is just to say that franchise happens, dude. This particular one has been interesting at least because every director has managed to create something tonally different with each iteration.

A Species reboot wouldn't be the worst thing.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:22 AM on December 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


A Species reboot could potentially be the worst The Thing though.
posted by Artw at 8:39 AM on December 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Speaking of which, 1982 reboot of a 1951 film based on a 1938 story. SF has always been rife with canibalism.
posted by Artw at 8:42 AM on December 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


s/sf/mass media/g
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:49 AM on December 27, 2016


For what it's worth, Alien was an uncredited remake of a 1958 movie which itself was an uncredited version of a 1938 story by A E Van Vogt.
posted by octothorpe at 8:58 AM on December 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Speaking of 1958 movies: have you seen the Steve McQueen version of The Blob? The music is weirdly inappropriate and SFX totally suck but at least it had Steve fucking McQueen in it
posted by Existential Dread at 10:27 AM on December 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Fact check: if you start singing the Blob song, you will with 100\% certainty smoothly slide into Feliz Navidad but sing Feliz naviblob, feliz naviblob, feliz naviblob, prospero anyo and feliciblob. Verdict: totally true.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:50 AM on December 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


The music is weirdly inappropriate and SFX totally suck but at least it had Steve fucking McQueen in it.

As a high school kid. Totally believable casting there. Also, the song the Blob was Burt Bacharach's first hit. Who'd a-thunk ?
posted by y2karl at 12:31 PM on December 27, 2016


Alien was an uncredited remake of a 1958 movie

Huh, that's a new one on me. It goes into a long list of movies alien is a "copy" of, of course, Planet of The Vampires and Dark Star being the most prominent.
posted by Artw at 1:51 PM on December 27, 2016


At any rate, it's one thing tο know there are no new plots, and another to say screw it, we'll just do what worked last time.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:43 PM on December 27, 2016


And what is it about putting spaceship pilots in damn cowboy hats?

Space is the new Wild West.
posted by New England Cultist at 4:03 PM on December 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Fact check: if you start singing the Blob song, you will with 100\% certainty smoothly slide into Feliz Navidad but sing Feliz naviblob, feliz naviblob, feliz naviblob, prospero anyo and feliciblob. Verdict: totally true.

Holy shit, you're right. What the fuck is this song
posted by Existential Dread at 9:37 PM on December 27, 2016


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