That is how a cuttlefish do.
January 6, 2017 3:11 PM Subscribe
Cuttlefish are cute except when they're feeding [silent]. Seriously, that is some scary-ass shit there [music]. Want to know more about this terrifying creature? Of course you do! [voiceover, captions]
This Cuttlefish & Marine Biology YouTube playlist shows many other behaviors, such as curiosity and territoriality [background noise only for both].
This Cuttlefish & Marine Biology YouTube playlist shows many other behaviors, such as curiosity and territoriality [background noise only for both].
This is Ze Frank! I miss Ze's glory days of The Show, but he seems to be doing phenomenally at BuzzFeed. He's quite the philosopher.
posted by phenylphenol at 3:29 PM on January 6, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by phenylphenol at 3:29 PM on January 6, 2017 [8 favorites]
Squiddy the Pooh
Squiddy the Pooh
Sneaky little freaky
All pink with ink
He's Squiddy the Pooh
Squiddy the Pooh
Ooky, spooky, kooky old fish
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:30 PM on January 6, 2017 [13 favorites]
Squiddy the Pooh
Sneaky little freaky
All pink with ink
He's Squiddy the Pooh
Squiddy the Pooh
Ooky, spooky, kooky old fish
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:30 PM on January 6, 2017 [13 favorites]
A lot of people feel that we're not trying hard enough to preserve nature. In fairness, I've never felt like nature was trying very hard to preserve me either.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 3:31 PM on January 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Sing Or Swim at 3:31 PM on January 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
Nah, the cuddlefish is still pretty cute.
posted by kafziel at 3:37 PM on January 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by kafziel at 3:37 PM on January 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
Teach them well, and let them lead the way.
posted by hippybear at 3:40 PM on January 6, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 3:40 PM on January 6, 2017 [13 favorites]
i believe we can teach them well and let them lead the way. shoot. beat
posted by mrdaneri at 3:41 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mrdaneri at 3:41 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
I like to think that exactly at 1:26 the cuttlefish is throwing out a little virtual fist bump at the passing stingray.
"Hey"
"Hey"
"We good?"
"You know it."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:43 PM on January 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
"Hey"
"Hey"
"We good?"
"You know it."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:43 PM on January 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
They taste good, too.
posted by fixedgear at 3:45 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by fixedgear at 3:45 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
There's the one scene where a cuttlefish is all set to grab a little fish when a big predator fish comes along and gulps the little fish. Then the predator fish idly swims away, but not before seeming to sense/smell something else around. The cuttlefish just floats, using its Jedi camouflage powers, until the big fish swims away.
* I am not the prey you are looking for *
posted by King Sky Prawn at 3:52 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
* I am not the prey you are looking for *
posted by King Sky Prawn at 3:52 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
So there should have been a bunch of goldfish swimming around in the tank with the Guild Navigator?
posted by lagomorphius at 4:40 PM on January 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 4:40 PM on January 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm not sure if I understand more about Cthulu or about GWAR now.
(sorry i didn't already know more about cthulu)
posted by ovenmitt at 4:54 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
(sorry i didn't already know more about cthulu)
posted by ovenmitt at 4:54 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Apparently the fearsome Stargazer likes to devour its prey while listening to old-timey jazz tunes.
posted by lagomorphius at 4:59 PM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 4:59 PM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
Apparently the fearsome Stargazer likes to devour its prey while listening to old-timey jazz tunes.
Marine biology be damned, I'm just going to name the fish at 3:41 the SCARED AS FUCK fish, because they seem to know what the real deal is, but just not sure exactly who is going to be dealt the shit hand today.
"Who today? You? Me?"
"Who the fuck knows? All I know is that I've got a feeling this is real baaaaad. Let's get the fuck out of here."
"Where's that music coming from?"
"I dunno. Just...don't get too close to the bottom. Don't - AW FUCK!"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:29 PM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
Marine biology be damned, I'm just going to name the fish at 3:41 the SCARED AS FUCK fish, because they seem to know what the real deal is, but just not sure exactly who is going to be dealt the shit hand today.
"Who today? You? Me?"
"Who the fuck knows? All I know is that I've got a feeling this is real baaaaad. Let's get the fuck out of here."
"Where's that music coming from?"
"I dunno. Just...don't get too close to the bottom. Don't - AW FUCK!"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:29 PM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
Hooray! I love cuttlefish and I love this NOVA episode.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 6:25 PM on January 6, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 6:25 PM on January 6, 2017 [8 favorites]
That NOVA episode is the stuff of legend in this house, along with the Nature "Octopus Show."
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:28 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:28 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Fuck those things. Destroy them, kill them, they are unholy.
The very first question at Donald Trump's press conference damn well better be "How is the Trump administration preparing to protect us from the cuttlefish threat?" Because if he doesn't have a plan and it doesn't involve nukes, I'm moving my family to the highest point of the most landlocked country in the world and surrounding ourselves with lead lined concrete walls.
Fuck those abominations.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:26 PM on January 6, 2017
The very first question at Donald Trump's press conference damn well better be "How is the Trump administration preparing to protect us from the cuttlefish threat?" Because if he doesn't have a plan and it doesn't involve nukes, I'm moving my family to the highest point of the most landlocked country in the world and surrounding ourselves with lead lined concrete walls.
Fuck those abominations.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:26 PM on January 6, 2017
How can you be sure none will have slipped inside, camouflaged and waiting on the ceiling for you to walk under?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:35 PM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:35 PM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
Cuddlefish.
posted by SPrintF at 7:37 PM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 7:37 PM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
I have one simple request... Morgan Freeman narrating a short and devastatingly sarcastic biography of Ze Frank, and inviting in Sir David and Bindi to take kicks at him when he's down. We All Win.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:20 PM on January 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:20 PM on January 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
Each time one of the cuttlefish speared and drew a fish into its arms, I kept thinking, "Mmmmm. Breaded and deep-fried, turducken of the ocean... Mmmmm yes eat that fish."
posted by not_on_display at 9:27 PM on January 6, 2017
posted by not_on_display at 9:27 PM on January 6, 2017
If anyone would like to give my skin a full suite of chromatophores, I will pay upwards of... twelve dollars US
posted by beerperson at 9:30 PM on January 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by beerperson at 9:30 PM on January 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
The Cuttlefish always looks fabulous.
posted by christopherious at 11:05 PM on January 6, 2017
posted by christopherious at 11:05 PM on January 6, 2017
If those hidden feeding tentacles were not the inspiration for the Alien jaw-inside-a-jaw thing, I will be astonished.
Little buggers even look like face-huggers. Which, if ZeFrank is to be believed, makes a lot of sense.
posted by flabdablet at 12:08 AM on January 7, 2017
Little buggers even look like face-huggers. Which, if ZeFrank is to be believed, makes a lot of sense.
posted by flabdablet at 12:08 AM on January 7, 2017
If anyone would like to give my skin a full suite of chromatophores, I will pay upwards of... twelve dollars US
Will we have any trouble finding you later if it turns out the check didn't clear?
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:20 AM on January 7, 2017 [8 favorites]
Will we have any trouble finding you later if it turns out the check didn't clear?
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:20 AM on January 7, 2017 [8 favorites]
we think we are forewarned and thus forearmed. But we are not. Oh no, we definitely are not.
As of Christmas, my young nephew has been forewarned. I pray only that when the time comes, he finds himself in charge of a vessel as doughty as the Alert.
posted by flabdablet at 12:47 AM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
As of Christmas, my young nephew has been forewarned. I pray only that when the time comes, he finds himself in charge of a vessel as doughty as the Alert.
posted by flabdablet at 12:47 AM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
My primary knowledge of cuttlefish is as a food source for budgies, so I wasn't expecting them to be this badass.
Human intervention produces some incredibly fucked up food chains.
posted by the latin mouse at 2:47 AM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
Human intervention produces some incredibly fucked up food chains.
posted by the latin mouse at 2:47 AM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
The second solid food I put in my son's mouth was a single fried tentacle. He mashed it about for a while and nodded and deep pleasure bubbled up to his face from his mighty id. And that's the way it was, for 7 years, until I found a box of forty in a Vietnamese grocery and prepared them at home.
To me, if you eat what is unlikely to be good, you are clearing and cleaning your environment. He was okay with the prep and asked me about the tentacles. Umm, I was going to do the circles with pasta and all the ink sacs and fry those? He says he can't eat this anymore. He was all into gutting a boar and feeding off that for a month, but this, this he can not do. OK. People have their limits.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 3:26 AM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
To me, if you eat what is unlikely to be good, you are clearing and cleaning your environment. He was okay with the prep and asked me about the tentacles. Umm, I was going to do the circles with pasta and all the ink sacs and fry those? He says he can't eat this anymore. He was all into gutting a boar and feeding off that for a month, but this, this he can not do. OK. People have their limits.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 3:26 AM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
Metasepia pfefferi or Don't eat me, I'm fabulous (more of the same here)
posted by elgilito at 4:54 AM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by elgilito at 4:54 AM on January 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
"Give me some cuttle-fish first. O Hercules!
They've dirtied every place with ink; here, take them
And throw them back again into the sea,
To wash them clean: or else they'll say, O Dorion,
That you have caught some rotten cuttle-fish:
And put this crawfish back beside the sprats."
Antiphanes
Athenaeus said that it was tasty if boiled, but that it thinned the blood, and was problematic for those with hemorrhoids.
Consider yourselves warned.
posted by BWA at 6:07 AM on January 7, 2017
They've dirtied every place with ink; here, take them
And throw them back again into the sea,
To wash them clean: or else they'll say, O Dorion,
That you have caught some rotten cuttle-fish:
And put this crawfish back beside the sprats."
Antiphanes
Athenaeus said that it was tasty if boiled, but that it thinned the blood, and was problematic for those with hemorrhoids.
Consider yourselves warned.
posted by BWA at 6:07 AM on January 7, 2017
Whoa. Those are cool vids!
As a cephalophile I was amazed, not knowing about the cuttlefish tentacles that reach out like that and grasp their prey.
Know your cephalopods. Nice little infographic.
In case anyone wants to hang out with other cephalopod fans, there's this likable European FaceBook group that posts an odd combination of images of cephalopods and tentacle pr0n. It's called The Squid Liberation Front - Front de Libération des Poulpes. Poulpes is French for octopuses/squid.
posted by nickyskye at 10:28 AM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
As a cephalophile I was amazed, not knowing about the cuttlefish tentacles that reach out like that and grasp their prey.
Know your cephalopods. Nice little infographic.
In case anyone wants to hang out with other cephalopod fans, there's this likable European FaceBook group that posts an odd combination of images of cephalopods and tentacle pr0n. It's called The Squid Liberation Front - Front de Libération des Poulpes. Poulpes is French for octopuses/squid.
posted by nickyskye at 10:28 AM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
> "Cuttlefish are cute except when they're feeding"
Nope, still totally adorable.
Who's the prettiest little Cthulhu engulfing everything in its all-encompassing tentacular maw? You are! YES, YOU ARE!
posted by kyrademon at 11:24 AM on January 7, 2017 [7 favorites]
Nope, still totally adorable.
Who's the prettiest little Cthulhu engulfing everything in its all-encompassing tentacular maw? You are! YES, YOU ARE!
posted by kyrademon at 11:24 AM on January 7, 2017 [7 favorites]
Many machines on Ix.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:09 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:09 PM on January 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
What the videos don't show is the calciferous beak boring into those fish until they struggle no more.
posted by porpoise at 2:56 AM on January 9, 2017
posted by porpoise at 2:56 AM on January 9, 2017
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posted by hippybear at 3:22 PM on January 6, 2017 [12 favorites]