I firmly believe that picking a team is sacrosanct
April 23, 2017 6:37 AM Subscribe
A father sends a letter to all 30 MLB teams, asking them to make their pitch to be his infant son's favorite team.
“I must tell you I don’t take this lightly. I firmly believe that picking a team is sacrosanct,” wrote Pete, an Ashland resident who works as a senior digital video content manager for PBS. “Friends may come and go, political affiliations and beliefs in higher powers may change, but one’s team is one’s team. Forever.
For sporting teams in your own country surely it's just the closest one?
You don't get to choose.
posted by fullerine at 6:52 AM on April 23, 2017 [36 favorites]
You don't get to choose.
posted by fullerine at 6:52 AM on April 23, 2017 [36 favorites]
With the Mariners at 7-12 for the season so far, I WISH I could just choose. I am a strict regionalist when it comes to these things (even if Seattle is ~300 miles from me). Although growing up in New Mexico meant I never had a major league team of ANY sport to root for, so I felt free to choose when living there.
posted by hippybear at 6:56 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 6:56 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
For sporting teams in your own country surely it's just the closest one?
I'm a lifelong Red Sox fan. I've never lived in Boston. However, my father, and his father, were born in Boston. So unlike the kid in the article, I was totally indoctrinated. But I'm ok with that.
posted by COD at 6:57 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
I'm a lifelong Red Sox fan. I've never lived in Boston. However, my father, and his father, were born in Boston. So unlike the kid in the article, I was totally indoctrinated. But I'm ok with that.
posted by COD at 6:57 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
I'm with fullerine, I can't imagine supporting anything but local teams.
posted by octothorpe at 6:57 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 6:57 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
I always cheer for the Red Sox in the post season, mostly because I'm apparently a masochist.
posted by hippybear at 6:58 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 6:58 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
For sporting teams in your own country surely it's just the closest one?
You don't get to choose.
proximity is a good argument for a team, to be sure. but plenty of people don't meaningfully near a team and sometimes it's fun to be oppositional in your sports fandom.
that said: growing up in kansas city, we had the royals but there were st. louis fans who went to my school. i didn't care about baseball but i still viewed cardinals i fans who grew up in kansas city as being of low character
but if I'd wanted to have an NBA team, I would've been screwed; there's nothing nearby (except KU!)
posted by dismas at 7:00 AM on April 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
You don't get to choose.
proximity is a good argument for a team, to be sure. but plenty of people don't meaningfully near a team and sometimes it's fun to be oppositional in your sports fandom.
that said: growing up in kansas city, we had the royals but there were st. louis fans who went to my school. i didn't care about baseball but i still viewed cardinals i fans who grew up in kansas city as being of low character
but if I'd wanted to have an NBA team, I would've been screwed; there's nothing nearby (except KU!)
posted by dismas at 7:00 AM on April 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
In North America, if the teams can move around to get the best stadium deal, why can't fanhood be equally mobile and based on measurable criteria? I expect results before I jump on a bandwagon for an organization that treats its supporters as just another revenue stream. It's the only rational decision, to let the market decide all.
posted by cardboard at 7:03 AM on April 23, 2017 [16 favorites]
posted by cardboard at 7:03 AM on April 23, 2017 [16 favorites]
Thirding Fullerine. This is utterly alien to me. People who "choose" their team don't really have a team at all, because there's nothing concrete binding them to it.
posted by dbx at 7:03 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by dbx at 7:03 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I do want to thank the Mariners, however, for at least sucking right out of the gate this year and not being awesome for the first 1/3 of the season before collapsing. This way I won't get my hopes up yet again.
Oh yeah, main article guy... don't let your kid pick the Mariners, unless as he gets a bit older you realize you hate him.
posted by hippybear at 7:04 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
Oh yeah, main article guy... don't let your kid pick the Mariners, unless as he gets a bit older you realize you hate him.
posted by hippybear at 7:04 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
Possibly I'm just lazy since I can walk to Pirates' games from my house and I'd never care enough about baseball to want to go to another city to see a game.
posted by octothorpe at 7:05 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by octothorpe at 7:05 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Such a pleasing article. I'm also pleased that there's a minor league called the Flying Squirrels.
For sporting teams in your own country surely it's just the closest one?
You don't get to choose.
You don't really get a conscious choice, but it's often not the closest one. There are a surprising number of Cubs fans in Texas left over from when the Cubs had a minor league team in the Texas League. The Cubs also used to be one of few (the only?) teams whose games were regularly broadcast nationally because of WGN, so it wasn't too hard to see a lot of the Cubs if you grew up in the 1990s without being anywhere near Chicago. That leaves aside the heritability of affiliation.
I became a Cubs fan for what feels like an arbitrary reason: my dad's firm had season tickets for the purpose of entertaining clients. But, of course, people could buy the tickets from the firm when they weren't being used. So when I started agitating to go to a baseball game, to Wrigley Field we went and that was that.
posted by hoyland at 7:05 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
For sporting teams in your own country surely it's just the closest one?
You don't get to choose.
You don't really get a conscious choice, but it's often not the closest one. There are a surprising number of Cubs fans in Texas left over from when the Cubs had a minor league team in the Texas League. The Cubs also used to be one of few (the only?) teams whose games were regularly broadcast nationally because of WGN, so it wasn't too hard to see a lot of the Cubs if you grew up in the 1990s without being anywhere near Chicago. That leaves aside the heritability of affiliation.
I became a Cubs fan for what feels like an arbitrary reason: my dad's firm had season tickets for the purpose of entertaining clients. But, of course, people could buy the tickets from the firm when they weren't being used. So when I started agitating to go to a baseball game, to Wrigley Field we went and that was that.
posted by hoyland at 7:05 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
For sporting teams in your own country surely it's just the closest one?Typically, although there was a kid in my Washington, D.C. neighborhood who rooted for the Cowboys when I was a kid out of some misplaced sense of iconoclasm. But things get more complicated if you don't live in or near a city with a team. Sometimes there are hereditary allegiances based on where your parents used to live, and I think sometimes it depends on which team's farm team is local to you, and sometimes it's based on a vague sense of which city you're most culturally tied to. I live in Iowa, and most people here support the Cubs. (And they're shocked that I am not a Cubs supporter, because I lived in Chicago for a long time. Not a fan of the Cubs. I'm an Orioles fan by birth, but if forced to choose a Chicago team, I'd go with the White Sox.) In Illinois, there's a north/south divide, with people in northern Illinois typically supporting the Cubs and people in southern Illinois typically supporting the Cardinals. I think that's as much cultural as proximity: people in Southern Illinois don't feel a lot of allegiance with Chicago.
The New York Times data people have mapped this. I think this family is in the big gray area south of the Nationals and north of the Braves where no one team predominates.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:14 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
Madeline was torn between the Tigers and the Toronto Blue Jays, based on observation of TV highlights. For no apparent reason, she settled on the Tigers.
“Any little girl might like tigers. Maybe that was it,” said Pete.
When Jack arrived, Pete felt strongly that there should be a deeper bond between a boy and his team, and that connection needs to be established ASAP.
well, it's never too early to let your daughter know where she stands in the family hierarchy.
wasn't there an Ask Metafilter question not too long ago from a dad wanting suggestions for how to indoctrinate his kid into loving classic literature and everyone got very exercised over whether that was morally acceptable, let alone possible?
posted by queenofbithynia at 7:15 AM on April 23, 2017 [31 favorites]
“Any little girl might like tigers. Maybe that was it,” said Pete.
When Jack arrived, Pete felt strongly that there should be a deeper bond between a boy and his team, and that connection needs to be established ASAP.
well, it's never too early to let your daughter know where she stands in the family hierarchy.
wasn't there an Ask Metafilter question not too long ago from a dad wanting suggestions for how to indoctrinate his kid into loving classic literature and everyone got very exercised over whether that was morally acceptable, let alone possible?
posted by queenofbithynia at 7:15 AM on April 23, 2017 [31 favorites]
Because I grew up in southern NM I went to a lot of minor league games in El Paso, TX. The team there was the Diablos for the longest time, but then things happened and I think the Diablos moved somehow into the Independent League system. But the new Minor League team in El Paso is the Chihuahuas. There's a lot of strange political stuff involving that team, including how El Paso dynamited their city hall to clear space for a new field for the team to play on, but I do find their logo appealing and think I might buy something every time I'm in the airport. I haven't purchased anything yet, though.
posted by hippybear at 7:15 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 7:15 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
The typical list of acceptable team fandom choices:
1. Where you were born/grew up
2. Where you were living when you developed a love of the game
3. Whatever team a parent, grandparent, or very special mentor rooted for
If none of those apply to you, you are free to choose. However, if you choose the rich team or the historically winningest team (but I repeat myself), you will be judged as a fair weather fan and possibly also the evil preppie from an '80s teen movie. Choosing a team within your region of the country or an underdog will mark you as a person of moral quality.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:17 AM on April 23, 2017 [31 favorites]
1. Where you were born/grew up
2. Where you were living when you developed a love of the game
3. Whatever team a parent, grandparent, or very special mentor rooted for
If none of those apply to you, you are free to choose. However, if you choose the rich team or the historically winningest team (but I repeat myself), you will be judged as a fair weather fan and possibly also the evil preppie from an '80s teen movie. Choosing a team within your region of the country or an underdog will mark you as a person of moral quality.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:17 AM on April 23, 2017 [31 favorites]
My family have been Cubs fans since 1893. My kids can quit Catholicism, but cheering for a different baseball team is a disowning offense. I don't care where they live, it's Cubs or nothing.
In other sports they can pick as they like, I'm not fussed. But in baseball they have no choice.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:19 AM on April 23, 2017 [9 favorites]
In other sports they can pick as they like, I'm not fussed. But in baseball they have no choice.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:19 AM on April 23, 2017 [9 favorites]
Mike Myers once said of his father that there is nothing more English than an Englishman no longer living in England. After I left Missouri for Arkansas, I supplemented my well-worn Cardinals cap with a Royals cap. Because everybody has to fucking recognize.
/glares meaningfully at Eyebrows McGee
posted by middleclasstool at 7:22 AM on April 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
/glares meaningfully at Eyebrows McGee
posted by middleclasstool at 7:22 AM on April 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
Angels fandom was handed down from my grandfather. Although generally he was not a fan of Orange County and it was a blow when they moved south, even on his deathbed he considered the Dodgers to be carpetbagging Brooklyners.
posted by potrzebie at 7:22 AM on April 23, 2017
posted by potrzebie at 7:22 AM on April 23, 2017
I think the argument is that you cannot in conscious choose to support a team from the other side of the country when you grew up with a local team that is closer. Being a legacy doesn't count because invariably it's a legacy of a massive big market team.
And moving from a small market to a large market does not give you an excuse to abandon your natural team which means lots of NYC and Boston residents should by all rights be fans of teams other than the Yankees and Red Sox.
In the rare cases that you are equidistant from two teams say for example you live in the dividing line between White Sox and Cubs territory it's possible to rely on tie-breakers like the fact that you have 4 generations of Cub fans behind you to support picking your final selection.
This is the law of supporting professional franchises that can only be broken if at some time you turn into a Anybody But the [x] fan because it's also acceptable to loathe the local team.
College sports is of course a whole different beast that requires a much more complicated rulebook of adjudicating your allegiance.
posted by vuron at 7:23 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
And moving from a small market to a large market does not give you an excuse to abandon your natural team which means lots of NYC and Boston residents should by all rights be fans of teams other than the Yankees and Red Sox.
In the rare cases that you are equidistant from two teams say for example you live in the dividing line between White Sox and Cubs territory it's possible to rely on tie-breakers like the fact that you have 4 generations of Cub fans behind you to support picking your final selection.
This is the law of supporting professional franchises that can only be broken if at some time you turn into a Anybody But the [x] fan because it's also acceptable to loathe the local team.
College sports is of course a whole different beast that requires a much more complicated rulebook of adjudicating your allegiance.
posted by vuron at 7:23 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
My local team is the Toledo Mud Hens, the farm team for my favorite MLB team, the Detroit Tigers. I've loved them both since I was little.
Then I married another Tigers fan, one with a family connection to the team. The Husband's uncle, Dick Marlowe, pitched for the Tigers in the 50s. (Uncle Dick's widow, Betty, will be 94 in September. She still loves going to Tigers games!)
It doesn't matter where we are, we will always be a Tigers family.
posted by MissySedai at 7:26 AM on April 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
Then I married another Tigers fan, one with a family connection to the team. The Husband's uncle, Dick Marlowe, pitched for the Tigers in the 50s. (Uncle Dick's widow, Betty, will be 94 in September. She still loves going to Tigers games!)
It doesn't matter where we are, we will always be a Tigers family.
posted by MissySedai at 7:26 AM on April 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
the big gray area south of the Nationals and north of the Braves where no one team predominates
I think this is a reason why college basketball is so big in NC: there were no big league pro sports teams, at all, until 1988. There is minor league baseball, of course, which is a lot of fun*, but it lacks the star power, perhaps, of the big show. So people got really into college sports.
*Seeing a couple of games made me realize how good major league play is - you see a lot more little errors, and realize that the routine execution of infielding play, etc., that you tend to take for granted in MLB, is really very very difficult.
posted by thelonius at 7:27 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
I think this is a reason why college basketball is so big in NC: there were no big league pro sports teams, at all, until 1988. There is minor league baseball, of course, which is a lot of fun*, but it lacks the star power, perhaps, of the big show. So people got really into college sports.
*Seeing a couple of games made me realize how good major league play is - you see a lot more little errors, and realize that the routine execution of infielding play, etc., that you tend to take for granted in MLB, is really very very difficult.
posted by thelonius at 7:27 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
Seeing a couple of games made me realize how good major league play is
It might be a bit off topic, but snooker is like that to the max: there is the professional game, called Snooker, and then there is the amateur game, which is Some Balls Might Get In Eventually.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:37 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
It might be a bit off topic, but snooker is like that to the max: there is the professional game, called Snooker, and then there is the amateur game, which is Some Balls Might Get In Eventually.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:37 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
Some of y'all are reminding me of this Jon Bois Article: LeBron James is my favorite basketball player
LeBron James is my favorite basketball player because he's the best basketball player. That is the only reason, and it feels good.
posted by dismas at 7:37 AM on April 23, 2017 [8 favorites]
LeBron James is my favorite basketball player because he's the best basketball player. That is the only reason, and it feels good.
posted by dismas at 7:37 AM on April 23, 2017 [8 favorites]
> For sporting teams in your own country surely it's just the closest one?
I grew up 100 miles away from any city with a major-league franchise. But at 100 miles away, to the east, south, and west, were three cities roughly equidistant (whichever city was closest depended on where in town you lived), for a total of 3 football, 2 hockey and 2 baseball teams to choose from.
People mostly only cared about the state university football team, though; merely spending one season as a benchwarmer qualified you as a hometown hero.
posted by ardgedee at 7:42 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I grew up 100 miles away from any city with a major-league franchise. But at 100 miles away, to the east, south, and west, were three cities roughly equidistant (whichever city was closest depended on where in town you lived), for a total of 3 football, 2 hockey and 2 baseball teams to choose from.
People mostly only cared about the state university football team, though; merely spending one season as a benchwarmer qualified you as a hometown hero.
posted by ardgedee at 7:42 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
It might be a bit off topic, but snooker is like that to the max
I did a full season of local curling here in the Spokane area and it gave me a gigantic appreciation for the curling that makes it onto US television because holy fuck that shit is hard to do!
posted by hippybear at 7:45 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
I did a full season of local curling here in the Spokane area and it gave me a gigantic appreciation for the curling that makes it onto US television because holy fuck that shit is hard to do!
posted by hippybear at 7:45 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
I am one of the people who believes that, yes, you cheer fir your local team. Because there's more to being a fan than just watching games. You can't be a real Reds fan unless you eat Cincinnati-style chili, for example. And yet, I break my own rule. I cheer for my wife's hometown team.
Background: in the early 90s, Ohio was a hockey wasteland. Before the ESPN tv deal in 1993, I had to have my grandparents in LA tape Kings games off live tv, then snail-mail me the VHS tape. So I never had a favorite team. I watched all 21-26 teams, plus whatever minor league games I could find on public access tv, and was happy. When the NHL expanded to Columbus, I never really got into the CBJ, partly because they were terrible and partly because every poser in the city was now the workd's biggest Jackets fan. But when I met my wife, I also fell in love with her city, Buffalo. Her dad is a season ticket holder for the Sabres, and so whenever we'd visit, we'd go to a Sabres game. The first one was against the Leafs, which is a big deal because all the Torontonians who can't get tickets there rent limos and drive an hour down the QEW to watch in Buffalo, where they're generally boorish and abusive. I found the resistance from Sabres fans endearing. But I'm an honorary Buffalonian anyway: I love beef on weck and Mighty Taco and snow and all that. Plus, the Sabres have been the worst team in the NHL since I started cheering for them, so no one can accuse me of jumping on the bandwagon.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:45 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
Background: in the early 90s, Ohio was a hockey wasteland. Before the ESPN tv deal in 1993, I had to have my grandparents in LA tape Kings games off live tv, then snail-mail me the VHS tape. So I never had a favorite team. I watched all 21-26 teams, plus whatever minor league games I could find on public access tv, and was happy. When the NHL expanded to Columbus, I never really got into the CBJ, partly because they were terrible and partly because every poser in the city was now the workd's biggest Jackets fan. But when I met my wife, I also fell in love with her city, Buffalo. Her dad is a season ticket holder for the Sabres, and so whenever we'd visit, we'd go to a Sabres game. The first one was against the Leafs, which is a big deal because all the Torontonians who can't get tickets there rent limos and drive an hour down the QEW to watch in Buffalo, where they're generally boorish and abusive. I found the resistance from Sabres fans endearing. But I'm an honorary Buffalonian anyway: I love beef on weck and Mighty Taco and snow and all that. Plus, the Sabres have been the worst team in the NHL since I started cheering for them, so no one can accuse me of jumping on the bandwagon.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:45 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
I completely agree with the father. Picking a team isn't to be taken lightly, which is why I haven't done it yet. I'm still in the process of deciding. I'll get to it sometime soon, I swear.
I grew up less than two miles from Metropolitan Stadium where the Twins used to play, but I had a deep aversion to Rod Carew's swing and when the team moved to that abomination known as the Metrodome, I knew I would never really be a home team fan. So my rooting goes to which ever team seems the most interesting in any given year, meaning usually the one with the oddest collection of rookies, bench players, and vets that I don't hate.
In basketball, however, it was the Knicks when Minnesota didn't have a team since god knows it wasn't gonna be the Celtics or Lakers. But when the Timberwolves came into being, it became Wolves and Knicks, which hasn't really served me all that well I grant, but what can you do?
posted by gusottertrout at 7:46 AM on April 23, 2017
I grew up less than two miles from Metropolitan Stadium where the Twins used to play, but I had a deep aversion to Rod Carew's swing and when the team moved to that abomination known as the Metrodome, I knew I would never really be a home team fan. So my rooting goes to which ever team seems the most interesting in any given year, meaning usually the one with the oddest collection of rookies, bench players, and vets that I don't hate.
In basketball, however, it was the Knicks when Minnesota didn't have a team since god knows it wasn't gonna be the Celtics or Lakers. But when the Timberwolves came into being, it became Wolves and Knicks, which hasn't really served me all that well I grant, but what can you do?
posted by gusottertrout at 7:46 AM on April 23, 2017
Typically, although there was a kid in my Washington, D.C. neighborhood who rooted for the Cowboys when I was a kid out of some misplaced sense of iconoclasm.
I have lived in the DC area for about 40 years and I am not a football person. I have always wondered why there are so many Cowboys fans around here since they are supposed to be the big rival to the Potatoes. A couple years ago this came up in conversation with an elderly African-American neighbor who explained why she thought so. I'm paraphrasing, but she said that in the mid 20th century, the Potatoes didn't have any African-American players and were determined to not have any, whereas the Cowboys had African-American players AND they were the big rival to the racist local team. So lots of African-American locals decided to root for the Cowboys and they have passed that on to their kids.
I am sure some people do it these days because of the racism about Native Americans, too. Lots of reasons to hate the Potatoes, really!
posted by bijou243 at 7:53 AM on April 23, 2017 [21 favorites]
I have lived in the DC area for about 40 years and I am not a football person. I have always wondered why there are so many Cowboys fans around here since they are supposed to be the big rival to the Potatoes. A couple years ago this came up in conversation with an elderly African-American neighbor who explained why she thought so. I'm paraphrasing, but she said that in the mid 20th century, the Potatoes didn't have any African-American players and were determined to not have any, whereas the Cowboys had African-American players AND they were the big rival to the racist local team. So lots of African-American locals decided to root for the Cowboys and they have passed that on to their kids.
I am sure some people do it these days because of the racism about Native Americans, too. Lots of reasons to hate the Potatoes, really!
posted by bijou243 at 7:53 AM on April 23, 2017 [21 favorites]
When I first read "Ashland" I assumed it was Ashland, Massachusetts, which is about 10 miles from me. I was seriously about to go find this gentleman and issue his son a Red Sox cap. It's what you fucking do.
But it turns out he's not actually in the greater Boston area so whatever, his kid can like any team he wants. Doesn't really matter.
posted by bondcliff at 8:00 AM on April 23, 2017 [6 favorites]
But it turns out he's not actually in the greater Boston area so whatever, his kid can like any team he wants. Doesn't really matter.
posted by bondcliff at 8:00 AM on April 23, 2017 [6 favorites]
I grew up in San Diego, home to comically inept franchises in every major sport that deigns to expand there, but monumentally great teams in leagues that no one cares about (i.e. indoor soccer). Nobody outside of San Diego cares about San Diego teams, and San Diego is so full of transplants maintaining their old allegiances that the home teams are frequently made to feel like visitors in their own stadiums. I'll still pull for the one team that's left in my hometown, but now that I've moved to Michigan I'm finding I'm surprisingly open to Tigers fandom, and since my hometown has been abandoned by football I'm pretty much a free agent, but I'd like to keep certain aspects of my fandom intact. Where can I find a comically mismanaged football team that hasn't won a championship since before the merger? They don't just grow on trees.
posted by LionIndex at 8:02 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by LionIndex at 8:02 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
I don't think that was what was motivating this particular kid, bijou243, but that would make sense. The team-that-shall-not-be-named definitely has a pretty ugly racial history going back to the days when D.C. was legally segregated and the team courted segregationist white Southern fans, and I can see why a lot of people in D.C. would want to side with their rivals.
Which gets back to the whole "it's complicated" thing. And honestly, that shouldn't be surprising to British people. Glasgow football allegiance isn't just about geographical proximity, right?
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:06 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Which gets back to the whole "it's complicated" thing. And honestly, that shouldn't be surprising to British people. Glasgow football allegiance isn't just about geographical proximity, right?
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:06 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I haven't been seriously into sports since the middle of the night Baltimore Colts move. You can choose, but politics might take your beloved team away, leaving you nothing with an ugly truth about the world, white hot anger and a drinking problem you can blame on this.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:13 AM on April 23, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:13 AM on April 23, 2017 [11 favorites]
I faced a challenge a couple of years ago when I unexpectedly found myself becoming a fan of the English Premier League. My US based fandom was bestowed at birth, I never chose to be a Red Sox fan. However, having never set foot in England, the only tenuous connection to EPL that I had in my life was the Red Sox - Liverpool connection. For whatever reason, Liverpool never quite connected with me and I found myself tuning into the Southampton match every week.
Maybe I missed the hopelessness of my youth as a Red Sox / Patriots fan, and with those teams generally well run perennial contenders these days, and I needed another team to root for with no real hope of winning it all. I feel like Southampton picked me more than I picked them. I got up early on a Sunday in February to drive 2 hours to Baltimore to watch the EPL Cup with about 20 other Saints fans, so I think the assimilation is complete. Now to plan a trip to the UK to be in Southampton on a weekend for a home game at Saint Mary's.
posted by COD at 8:16 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Maybe I missed the hopelessness of my youth as a Red Sox / Patriots fan, and with those teams generally well run perennial contenders these days, and I needed another team to root for with no real hope of winning it all. I feel like Southampton picked me more than I picked them. I got up early on a Sunday in February to drive 2 hours to Baltimore to watch the EPL Cup with about 20 other Saints fans, so I think the assimilation is complete. Now to plan a trip to the UK to be in Southampton on a weekend for a home game at Saint Mary's.
posted by COD at 8:16 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Brandon Blatcher, try growing up in Indianapolis the child of two folks from Baltimore. I thought it was normal to root against your home team. (Because Fuck Bob Irsay)
Let's Go O's!
posted by leotrotsky at 8:18 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
Let's Go O's!
posted by leotrotsky at 8:18 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
The gal I was all googly over was the president of the Mickey Mantle fan club. I'm still a Yankee fan. And she and I closing in on 57 years of marriage.
posted by notreally at 8:26 AM on April 23, 2017 [28 favorites]
posted by notreally at 8:26 AM on April 23, 2017 [28 favorites]
Where can I find a comically mismanaged football team that hasn't won a championship since before the merger? They don't just grow on trees.
At this point, I'm starting to wonder if the 1985-86 season actually existed or was a construct invented by the media, because I doubt there's any franchise as poorly managed as the Bears.
posted by lmfsilva at 8:31 AM on April 23, 2017
At this point, I'm starting to wonder if the 1985-86 season actually existed or was a construct invented by the media, because I doubt there's any franchise as poorly managed as the Bears.
posted by lmfsilva at 8:31 AM on April 23, 2017
When I was a kid in Texas the Cardinals, the western most franchise at the time, were our de facto "home" team. Somewhere I still have an autographed picture from Stan Musial with a note wishing me a speedy recovery from my "spots". I was in bed with the chicken pox at the time.
Still, when it was announced Texas was getting its own team, we all went nuts. And when it was later announced they were changing their name from the Colt .45's I dutifully sent in my suggestion to the contest to select the new name (rumored to avoid paying royalties to the malt liquor brewer). Astros? Really? I'm still disappointed they didn't like my Mockingbirds...
posted by jim in austin at 8:39 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Still, when it was announced Texas was getting its own team, we all went nuts. And when it was later announced they were changing their name from the Colt .45's I dutifully sent in my suggestion to the contest to select the new name (rumored to avoid paying royalties to the malt liquor brewer). Astros? Really? I'm still disappointed they didn't like my Mockingbirds...
posted by jim in austin at 8:39 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
>With the Mariners at 7-12 for the season so far, I WISH I could just choose. I am a strict regionalist when it comes to these things (even if Seattle is ~300 miles from me). Although growing up in New Mexico meant I never had a major league team of ANY sport to root for, so I felt free to choose when living there.
No. You are wrong. The mariners are the mariners when the mariners lose. That is the joy of the team. Those brief periods wherein they are successful are anomalies.
It is fair to not be a mariners fan, though, because it has been like two decades since it's been possible to see a mariners game. This is because a mariners game is only a mariners game if it takes place on artificial turf in a tiny dome stadium made of ugly concrete, with a super close fence that turns line drives into home runs, no matter how many times they raise the fence with plexiglass. (I am certain that the "space" stadium in the NES RBI Baseball was inspired by the Kingdome.)
A mariners game isn't a mariners game if the announcers don't have to explain the special home rules for the stadium, rules like "if a ball in play hits the speakers hanging from the roof it's a double." And hitting the speakers should be a regular occurance, not a once in a blue moon thing, because the speakers have to be hung way too low. A mariners game isn't a mariners game if you don't think there's at least a small chance that a ceiling tile might fall on you during the game.
A mariners game isn't a mariners game if the tickets aren't super cheap because who goes to a mariners game, anyway, they always lose?
Although their stadium is inadequate, an everett aquasox game is a reasonable replacement for a mariners game, given that it is impossible to go to a true mariners game here in the 21st century.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:42 AM on April 23, 2017 [10 favorites]
No. You are wrong. The mariners are the mariners when the mariners lose. That is the joy of the team. Those brief periods wherein they are successful are anomalies.
It is fair to not be a mariners fan, though, because it has been like two decades since it's been possible to see a mariners game. This is because a mariners game is only a mariners game if it takes place on artificial turf in a tiny dome stadium made of ugly concrete, with a super close fence that turns line drives into home runs, no matter how many times they raise the fence with plexiglass. (I am certain that the "space" stadium in the NES RBI Baseball was inspired by the Kingdome.)
A mariners game isn't a mariners game if the announcers don't have to explain the special home rules for the stadium, rules like "if a ball in play hits the speakers hanging from the roof it's a double." And hitting the speakers should be a regular occurance, not a once in a blue moon thing, because the speakers have to be hung way too low. A mariners game isn't a mariners game if you don't think there's at least a small chance that a ceiling tile might fall on you during the game.
A mariners game isn't a mariners game if the tickets aren't super cheap because who goes to a mariners game, anyway, they always lose?
Although their stadium is inadequate, an everett aquasox game is a reasonable replacement for a mariners game, given that it is impossible to go to a true mariners game here in the 21st century.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:42 AM on April 23, 2017 [10 favorites]
ps pink floyd only recorded one album it's called piper at the gates of dawn it's great
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:51 AM on April 23, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:51 AM on April 23, 2017 [6 favorites]
I was a Yankees fan as a little kid, but after years of damned Steinbrenner, I defected to the Mets by age 12. My sister and her husband moved to Portland, ME, and my neices and nephews are Red Sox fans (and Sea Dogs fans as well), but I love them anyway.
posted by jonmc at 9:09 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 9:09 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'll still pull for the one team that's left in my hometown, but now that I've moved to Michigan I'm finding I'm surprisingly open to Tigers fandom, and since my hometown has been abandoned by football I'm pretty much a free agent, but I'd like to keep certain aspects of my fandom intact. Where can I find a comically mismanaged football team that hasn't won a championship since before the merger? They don't just grow on trees.
You live in Michigan, you want a comically mismanaged football team, and your name is LionIndex. The answer seems pretty obvious, but I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to sink as low as being a Lion's fan.
posted by pseudodionysus at 9:24 AM on April 23, 2017
You live in Michigan, you want a comically mismanaged football team, and your name is LionIndex. The answer seems pretty obvious, but I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to sink as low as being a Lion's fan.
posted by pseudodionysus at 9:24 AM on April 23, 2017
I hope the Brewers just send back a sweet picture of Eric Thames hitting a dinger.
posted by drezdn at 9:24 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by drezdn at 9:24 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
This whole conversation got a whole lot easier for me when I figured out that I could enthusiastically say to anyone:
"Go team!"
posted by aniola at 9:25 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
"Go team!"
posted by aniola at 9:25 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
You ... can't change your team?
Is there, like, a contract signed in blood or something?
posted by kyrademon at 9:31 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
Is there, like, a contract signed in blood or something?
posted by kyrademon at 9:31 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
My much beloved Raiders are leaving Oakland. Must I continue to follow them? Can I separate emotionally? Is it silly to care at all? Are there guidelines?
Perhaps I should just throw in with the local Undead Betties, a womens flat track roller derby team.
posted by cccorlew at 9:37 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Perhaps I should just throw in with the local Undead Betties, a womens flat track roller derby team.
posted by cccorlew at 9:37 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm a Yankees fan because my parents, and their parents, grew up in the Bronx; my uncle has stories of hanging out near Yabkee Stadium as a kid to hit up players coming to and from practice for autographs (because that was a thing you could actually do fifty years ago). That being said, as a Yankees fan who comes by it honestly I feel like a dying breed - 80% of the time I meet another Yankees fan, they're pretty obviously just there to watch the money machine win a game (the other 20% are people who live in the Bronx, and those people are the best fans in baseball - they all but make up for the other 80%).
I'm honestly kinda jealous of my Mets-fan friends - when you go in to a game without the basic assumption of a win that comes with a Yankees game, the highs seem to be higher and the lows seem to be lower. But I could never switch allegiance; I know it would have broken my grandfather's heart, and I couldn't do that to his memory.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:39 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I'm honestly kinda jealous of my Mets-fan friends - when you go in to a game without the basic assumption of a win that comes with a Yankees game, the highs seem to be higher and the lows seem to be lower. But I could never switch allegiance; I know it would have broken my grandfather's heart, and I couldn't do that to his memory.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:39 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I am sure some people do it these days because of the racism about Native Americans, too. Lots of reasons to hate the Potatoes, really!
I've never heard the Potatoes as an alternate name for that team, but it might beat out the Washington Racists for my new favorite one.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:43 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
I've never heard the Potatoes as an alternate name for that team, but it might beat out the Washington Racists for my new favorite one.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:43 AM on April 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
I remain happy that the Spokane Indian reached out to the Spokane Indian tribe and everyone is okay enough with it that the Indians have the native language on their patch!
posted by hippybear at 9:49 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 9:49 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I generally fall under the "root for your local team" policy, but there is also the issue of what to do when you move. I grew up in the Bay Area as a passionate Giants fan, but have now lived in Southern CA for nearly as long as I did Northern. After about a decade here my allegiance changed to the Angels if only because I could attend games regularly, follow them on the local news, become familiar with all the local players, etc. This need for regular interaction is also why I don't think most long-distance relationships are sustainable.
posted by The Gooch at 9:50 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by The Gooch at 9:50 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I think this is a reason why college basketball is so big in NC: there were no big league pro sports teams, at all, until 1988. There is minor league baseball, of course, which is a lot of fun*, but it lacks the star power, perhaps, of the big show. So people got really into college sports
Yeah growing up in NC, college basketball was THE sport, so UNC is my only lifelong sports fandom; everything else came after I left the state. Baseball is pretty popular as a sport to play, and the state produced its share of major leaguers, but with no major league teams there's not a defined fan base.
Of course ending the farm system would maybe revitalize interest in local minor league teams.
*Tilts furiously at windmill*
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 9:54 AM on April 23, 2017
Yeah growing up in NC, college basketball was THE sport, so UNC is my only lifelong sports fandom; everything else came after I left the state. Baseball is pretty popular as a sport to play, and the state produced its share of major leaguers, but with no major league teams there's not a defined fan base.
Of course ending the farm system would maybe revitalize interest in local minor league teams.
*Tilts furiously at windmill*
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 9:54 AM on April 23, 2017
Also, every time you go to a dance club you get to cheer for your team. *unc unc unc unc*
posted by hippybear at 9:56 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 9:56 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
YCTAB, I live right across from Everett, and think maybe you've convinced me to go out for a few ASox games this year. I don't much care for the Mariners in their new stadium, and minor-league play always seems a bit closer to the root of the game.
posted by maxwelton at 10:03 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by maxwelton at 10:03 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Raiders hardcore fans wills stay fans when they go to Vegas, just as they did in Los Angeles. If you are thinking of dumping the Raiders you are not a fan. Those guys fucking survived Al Davis.
Thank god I fell in love with baseball growing up in the Bay Area. The A's and the Giants are fine teams with great legacies and I'm proud to wear my tattered caps of either, depending on whose winning (because you get to do that as a Bay Area sports fan, there is no rivalry).
It is indeed agonizing to have the Mariners in your home town. Safeco is the most pleasant ballpark in the country. The Mariners consistently have talented, likeable players. And yet they've never been winners. Well, once, but that vanished so quickly it felt like a different team. At any rate, despite having gone to many games and having jerseys and hats, my kids will never have any passion for the local team that just plods along year after year, indifferent to the concept of winning or losing. God I feel sorry for people who grew up here and have no other team besides the Mariners.
My oldest child is a Giants fan because his old man is, as is the natural order of things. His cousins are trying to turn him Dodgers and he thinks its good natured fun because of how crazy it makes me. He does not know that people have been stabbed and killed because of the rivalry, but if this dangerous flirtation with the blue bozos continues into his teen years, we will need to have The Talk. You pick a side, and you stick with it.
My youngest needed a ball cap and it needed to be different than his brother's, just to eliminate fighting over whose is whose. I was passing through the Minneapolis airport and needed a souvenir to bring home to the kids, so, more or less randomly he is a lifelong Twins fan. I think it's fine. They are an honest, noble team with no conflicting rivalries and decent uniform and color scheme and no racial stereotyping.
It's a neat idea to write each team. I get the new father anxiety about your babies future sports affiliation; it's on your mind right up there with vaccinations, whether to circumcise, and car seat safety ratings. But I believe he's overthinking it. These things should happen naturally as they always do and should not be influenced by letters from General Managers and free swag.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:04 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
Thank god I fell in love with baseball growing up in the Bay Area. The A's and the Giants are fine teams with great legacies and I'm proud to wear my tattered caps of either, depending on whose winning (because you get to do that as a Bay Area sports fan, there is no rivalry).
It is indeed agonizing to have the Mariners in your home town. Safeco is the most pleasant ballpark in the country. The Mariners consistently have talented, likeable players. And yet they've never been winners. Well, once, but that vanished so quickly it felt like a different team. At any rate, despite having gone to many games and having jerseys and hats, my kids will never have any passion for the local team that just plods along year after year, indifferent to the concept of winning or losing. God I feel sorry for people who grew up here and have no other team besides the Mariners.
My oldest child is a Giants fan because his old man is, as is the natural order of things. His cousins are trying to turn him Dodgers and he thinks its good natured fun because of how crazy it makes me. He does not know that people have been stabbed and killed because of the rivalry, but if this dangerous flirtation with the blue bozos continues into his teen years, we will need to have The Talk. You pick a side, and you stick with it.
My youngest needed a ball cap and it needed to be different than his brother's, just to eliminate fighting over whose is whose. I was passing through the Minneapolis airport and needed a souvenir to bring home to the kids, so, more or less randomly he is a lifelong Twins fan. I think it's fine. They are an honest, noble team with no conflicting rivalries and decent uniform and color scheme and no racial stereotyping.
It's a neat idea to write each team. I get the new father anxiety about your babies future sports affiliation; it's on your mind right up there with vaccinations, whether to circumcise, and car seat safety ratings. But I believe he's overthinking it. These things should happen naturally as they always do and should not be influenced by letters from General Managers and free swag.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:04 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
maxwelton: yay aquasox!
actually I'm a little bit embarrassed that I didn't remember the ground rules about the speakers in the kingdome right. Balls that hit the speakers weren't ruled as doubles, they were ruled as in-play if they landed in play or out of play if they landed in foul territory. Still think the Mariners should have gone out of their way to draft pop-up specialists who could manufacture hits off of speaker bounces.
"chaos reigns" would have been a good slogan for the 1980s mariners.)
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:07 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
actually I'm a little bit embarrassed that I didn't remember the ground rules about the speakers in the kingdome right. Balls that hit the speakers weren't ruled as doubles, they were ruled as in-play if they landed in play or out of play if they landed in foul territory. Still think the Mariners should have gone out of their way to draft pop-up specialists who could manufacture hits off of speaker bounces.
"chaos reigns" would have been a good slogan for the 1980s mariners.)
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:07 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Car seats are all rigorously tested though. Without guidance, a kid might cheer for the Cardinals.
I'm in team "your family picks for you" personally. My grandmother was a Carolina fan, and unless I want her to come back from the dead to throw things at me, so am I.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:09 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I'm in team "your family picks for you" personally. My grandmother was a Carolina fan, and unless I want her to come back from the dead to throw things at me, so am I.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:09 AM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
Also, thank the gods Seattle has The Sounders and The Seahawks, those are two teams worth lifelong support and make my boys proud of their hometown. (Also, progressive politics, natural beauty, legal weed, etc...)
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:15 AM on April 23, 2017
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:15 AM on April 23, 2017
Within my shameless nostalgia for the early days of the Seattle Mariners, there is an implied method of determining what team to support. This method is, roughly stated, "find the weirdest underdog, and then root for them to do fun weird things."
I am certain that I'll be friends with anyone who adopts this method.
p.s. go expos.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:19 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I am certain that I'll be friends with anyone who adopts this method.
p.s. go expos.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:19 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Possibly I'm just lazy since I can walk to Pirates' games from my house and I'd never care enough about baseball to want to go to another city to see a game.
PNC is among the top 5 ball parks in the country. If that were my local team, I'd have trouble going to another city too. I went to see my Phillies get whupped by the Pirates a couple years ago, and the Pirate fans were so happy and excited. I was jealous, but I'd never change teams. I do root for the Pirates in the playoffs, although that might be damning them.
My grandfather was a determined American League man and never got over the Philadelphia A's leaving the city. For me, baseball was handed down from the grandmothers on both sides. I loved the indoctrination. That's why my sister and I stood and cried when Richie Ashburn returned to Philadelphia and walked out from center field after he was inducted into the Hall of Fame. We never saw him play, but he was my dad's and my grandmother's favorite player. Plus, they were playing the theme from The Natural and that always makes me cry. Rooting for the local team is all mixed up with family, I don't know how I'd feel just picking a team.
posted by gladly at 10:23 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
PNC is among the top 5 ball parks in the country. If that were my local team, I'd have trouble going to another city too. I went to see my Phillies get whupped by the Pirates a couple years ago, and the Pirate fans were so happy and excited. I was jealous, but I'd never change teams. I do root for the Pirates in the playoffs, although that might be damning them.
My grandfather was a determined American League man and never got over the Philadelphia A's leaving the city. For me, baseball was handed down from the grandmothers on both sides. I loved the indoctrination. That's why my sister and I stood and cried when Richie Ashburn returned to Philadelphia and walked out from center field after he was inducted into the Hall of Fame. We never saw him play, but he was my dad's and my grandmother's favorite player. Plus, they were playing the theme from The Natural and that always makes me cry. Rooting for the local team is all mixed up with family, I don't know how I'd feel just picking a team.
posted by gladly at 10:23 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm kind of liking minor-league sports more as I get older. (Yay, Tacoma Rainiers!) They're not as good as the big show guys - and that's the fun part. There's more suspense in the game. Routine infield one-hopper? Don't relax, he might drop it.
Plus it's easier to get tickets on a reasonable budget. Seattle Thunderbirds, same thing.
posted by ctmf at 10:27 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
Plus it's easier to get tickets on a reasonable budget. Seattle Thunderbirds, same thing.
posted by ctmf at 10:27 AM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
My much beloved Raiders are leaving Oakland. Must I continue to follow them? Can I separate emotionally? Is it silly to care at all? Are there guidelines?
The guidelines are:
You may continue to be a fan forever if they keep the team name. However, this is optional. Undying hatred for the ownership group is not. Don't hate the new fanbase unless they act like it's the old fanbase's fault the team left.
If your city doesn't get a new team you can choose to quit following the team or even the sport. Hate the league and the commissioner but don't blame the players or hate them just because they are in a different city. You may actually delight in the crappy play of a player you used to despise just because he's someone else's problem now. If you've decided you hate the new fanbase you can actively root against the team; this is easier when beloved players have retired, been traded, or left through free agency.
If you quit following the sport you are allowed to watch the playoffs but you cannot root for a specific team, only for specific players. College ball may fill the void, hopefully they don't suck.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:27 AM on April 23, 2017
The guidelines are:
You may continue to be a fan forever if they keep the team name. However, this is optional. Undying hatred for the ownership group is not. Don't hate the new fanbase unless they act like it's the old fanbase's fault the team left.
If your city doesn't get a new team you can choose to quit following the team or even the sport. Hate the league and the commissioner but don't blame the players or hate them just because they are in a different city. You may actually delight in the crappy play of a player you used to despise just because he's someone else's problem now. If you've decided you hate the new fanbase you can actively root against the team; this is easier when beloved players have retired, been traded, or left through free agency.
If you quit following the sport you are allowed to watch the playoffs but you cannot root for a specific team, only for specific players. College ball may fill the void, hopefully they don't suck.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:27 AM on April 23, 2017
Also: Fuck Howard Schultz.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:27 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:27 AM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
If you live in an area that's a market for only one team, it's natural to be a fan of that team, just like it was natural for my Mom to become a Congregationalist in 1920s Vermont. If you live in a place that's not in any market, like Hawaii, or a place that's in several markets, like Connecticut, then you have choice. That's if your family doesn't dictate your fandom.
Why do so many teams abandon NYC?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:37 AM on April 23, 2017
Why do so many teams abandon NYC?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:37 AM on April 23, 2017
I live in southern NJ, about 10 miles outside of Philadelphia. I love the Phillies, am apathetic about basketball, and think the Eagles are a skidmark on the underpants of civilization. My second fave NHL team is the Philadelphia Flyers. My favorite team is the NJ Devils because they are literally located in and named after the state I live in. (I was an adult when I realized that was an option.)
I get more crap from the locals because of my Devils fandom than by actively rooting against the Eagles.
posted by kimberussell at 10:38 AM on April 23, 2017
I get more crap from the locals because of my Devils fandom than by actively rooting against the Eagles.
posted by kimberussell at 10:38 AM on April 23, 2017
Because you’re being raised correctly, you have no say in your devotion to the game of baseball
I'd choose the Pirates on the basis of that note alone, except I'm already a Giants fan.
(Hard to believe American League teams are under consideration; that's hardly even baseball they play.)
posted by chavenet at 11:03 AM on April 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
I'd choose the Pirates on the basis of that note alone, except I'm already a Giants fan.
(Hard to believe American League teams are under consideration; that's hardly even baseball they play.)
posted by chavenet at 11:03 AM on April 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
My baseball team is the 1935 Pittsburgh Crawfords.
(If you never go to games anyway, and you never watch games on television or listen to them on the radio, you can pick any team of any era. )
posted by pracowity at 11:05 AM on April 23, 2017 [8 favorites]
(If you never go to games anyway, and you never watch games on television or listen to them on the radio, you can pick any team of any era. )
posted by pracowity at 11:05 AM on April 23, 2017 [8 favorites]
Growing up I mostly went to Tidewater Tides games with my dad. At home the only sports on our TV were boxing and stock car racing, excepting the superbowl. In college I became a Steelers fan and a Yankees fan. I then moved from NY to SF and tried to maintain my baseball fandom but failed. I then moved back to NY and continued to not really care about baseball.
I just moved to Philly, though, so my options are to love the Phillies or get stabbed in the eyehole.
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:10 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I just moved to Philly, though, so my options are to love the Phillies or get stabbed in the eyehole.
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:10 AM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
My phone is under the impression that I've visited the Richmond Times Dispatch 10 times already this month and wanted me to subscribe to read the article. I was forced to get up from my Sunday Morning Coffee Recline to read this at an actual computer.
He fell for the Astros because his strong feelings for baseball bloomed in the early 1980s and the Astros in those days were a winning team, a fun team to watch.
That's not what sacrosanct means knucklehead.
This fair-weather fan, undecided, Ken Bone-ism is unacceptable. It's not a puzzle,
1. Pick the closest National League team. While the American League plays a game incredibly similar to baseball and will do in a pinch, the designated hitter puts AL teams too far into the uncanny valley to be anything but disturbing to watch.
2. Watch the team that you were watching when you got into baseball. If you go this route, never tell anyone that your team is the Astros because they were winning in the early 80s and you like winning teams. Say that you got into the Astros when you were 10 (people will realize that this means the same thing but most will be too polite to openly mock a 10 year old. A 42 year old saying that they picked a team based on their winning is fair game.)
3. Don't make fun of your daughter for picking a team based on liking tigers. Liking tigers is a more legitimate reason for liking a team than that they were winners in the early 80s.
4. You don't have to root for the team you grew up with, but you need a better reason than that they win a lot. You don't even need a good reason, but it has to be better than that.
1 The local team where you went to college is fine.
2. You lived overseas and the local bar owner was a big Padres fan and you used to watch the games live at 4am? Good reason.
3. You met Famous Player X and they were really cool and nice to you so you root for their team. Marginally acceptable reason.
4. You met Famous Player Y and they were a terrible asshat so you forever root against them? Great reason.
5. If you are watching a game between 2 teams root in the following order:
1. Your favorite team.
2. The National League team
3. The local team
4. Anyone playing against the Dodgers.
5. Similar rules apply within a game. When at bat:
1. It is okay (but not mandatory) to boo your own team's designated hitter.
2. It is mandatory to boo the opposing team's DH.
3. It is always appropriate to cheer on a left-handed hitter, even when batting for the opposing team (unless they are a Dodger.)
6. Become a Richmond Flying Squirrels fan. It really looks like the best option until the kid can find reliable baseball mentor.
Most of this is pretty obvious stuff and we shouldn't need to have a 101 level conversation about it.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 11:17 AM on April 23, 2017 [23 favorites]
He fell for the Astros because his strong feelings for baseball bloomed in the early 1980s and the Astros in those days were a winning team, a fun team to watch.
That's not what sacrosanct means knucklehead.
This fair-weather fan, undecided, Ken Bone-ism is unacceptable. It's not a puzzle,
1. Pick the closest National League team. While the American League plays a game incredibly similar to baseball and will do in a pinch, the designated hitter puts AL teams too far into the uncanny valley to be anything but disturbing to watch.
2. Watch the team that you were watching when you got into baseball. If you go this route, never tell anyone that your team is the Astros because they were winning in the early 80s and you like winning teams. Say that you got into the Astros when you were 10 (people will realize that this means the same thing but most will be too polite to openly mock a 10 year old. A 42 year old saying that they picked a team based on their winning is fair game.)
3. Don't make fun of your daughter for picking a team based on liking tigers. Liking tigers is a more legitimate reason for liking a team than that they were winners in the early 80s.
4. You don't have to root for the team you grew up with, but you need a better reason than that they win a lot. You don't even need a good reason, but it has to be better than that.
1 The local team where you went to college is fine.
2. You lived overseas and the local bar owner was a big Padres fan and you used to watch the games live at 4am? Good reason.
3. You met Famous Player X and they were really cool and nice to you so you root for their team. Marginally acceptable reason.
4. You met Famous Player Y and they were a terrible asshat so you forever root against them? Great reason.
5. If you are watching a game between 2 teams root in the following order:
1. Your favorite team.
2. The National League team
3. The local team
4. Anyone playing against the Dodgers.
5. Similar rules apply within a game. When at bat:
1. It is okay (but not mandatory) to boo your own team's designated hitter.
2. It is mandatory to boo the opposing team's DH.
3. It is always appropriate to cheer on a left-handed hitter, even when batting for the opposing team (unless they are a Dodger.)
6. Become a Richmond Flying Squirrels fan. It really looks like the best option until the kid can find reliable baseball mentor.
Most of this is pretty obvious stuff and we shouldn't need to have a 101 level conversation about it.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 11:17 AM on April 23, 2017 [23 favorites]
My much beloved Raiders are leaving Oakland. Must I continue to follow them? Can I separate emotionally? Is it silly to care at all? Are there guidelines?
When the Oilers skipped town to become the Tennessee Flaming Thumbtacks I immediately declared a pox upon them, their kith and kin. This was actually rather easy since I had long since become bored with the NFL game and it proved a handy excuse to stop watching...
posted by jim in austin at 11:26 AM on April 23, 2017
When the Oilers skipped town to become the Tennessee Flaming Thumbtacks I immediately declared a pox upon them, their kith and kin. This was actually rather easy since I had long since become bored with the NFL game and it proved a handy excuse to stop watching...
posted by jim in austin at 11:26 AM on April 23, 2017
Growing up, I was a Red Sox fan. I watched Fisk wave the home run fair. Granted, I watched it on a 5" b&w tv, but still. Even after Toronto got a team, I held on. Even though my father was from Toronto, and we visited every year, and the only games I ever saw were at The Ex. I wore my Red Sox hat to a Toronto-Texas game (and got Fergie Jenkins's autograph), that's how much of an idiotic Red Sox fan I was.
Then I started playing Strat-o-Matic in 1981 with my best friend, who was even more of a Red Sox fan than I was (and had actually been to Fenway). So I reluctantly made the switch to the Jays. In the next dozen years the Jays the Jays made the playoffs five times and won the Series once, while the Sox lost to the Mets, so it worked out well for me. The 20+ years since then is the punishment for switching, I guess.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 12:08 PM on April 23, 2017
Then I started playing Strat-o-Matic in 1981 with my best friend, who was even more of a Red Sox fan than I was (and had actually been to Fenway). So I reluctantly made the switch to the Jays. In the next dozen years the Jays the Jays made the playoffs five times and won the Series once, while the Sox lost to the Mets, so it worked out well for me. The 20+ years since then is the punishment for switching, I guess.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 12:08 PM on April 23, 2017
I only support defunct teams in the hope that they will not be revealed to be rapists.
posted by srboisvert at 12:09 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 12:09 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
I only support defunct teams in the hope that they will not be revealed to be rapists.Might be more effective to switch to following women's sports.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 12:23 PM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
ActingTheGoat Rule conflict: My local National League team was winning when I was 10 and also I met several Famous Player X's who were really cool and nice to me. It IS the Dodgers.
posted by ctmf at 12:25 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by ctmf at 12:25 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Follow whatever team you wish. Follow more than one team. Change allegiance in the middle of a season or a game if that's what you feel like doing.
posted by plastic_animals at 12:31 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by plastic_animals at 12:31 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
This is utterly alien to me. People who "choose" their team don't really have a team at all, because there's nothing concrete binding them to it.
This is actually very much akin to why my brain was finally able to wrap itself around Judaism to some degree when no other faith had stuck. (See previous discussion of metaphysics.) Judaism is a culture and a set of guidelines for living as much as it is a religion, and it's inescapably part of my family's history and my genetics. It is part of me even if I don't always want to be part of it, even if my grandparents didn't either.
Similarly, I live in St. Louis, and I grew up at a time during which the Cardinals built essentially a dynasty, so there really is no other team for me besides the Cardinals. Being in that crowd is something like getting in touch with the divine in and of itself.
posted by limeonaire at 12:55 PM on April 23, 2017
This is actually very much akin to why my brain was finally able to wrap itself around Judaism to some degree when no other faith had stuck. (See previous discussion of metaphysics.) Judaism is a culture and a set of guidelines for living as much as it is a religion, and it's inescapably part of my family's history and my genetics. It is part of me even if I don't always want to be part of it, even if my grandparents didn't either.
Similarly, I live in St. Louis, and I grew up at a time during which the Cardinals built essentially a dynasty, so there really is no other team for me besides the Cardinals. Being in that crowd is something like getting in touch with the divine in and of itself.
posted by limeonaire at 12:55 PM on April 23, 2017
ctmf, it is a well known and scientific fact, not oft-discussed in Los Angeles, that the Dodgers had several winning seasons in the 70s and 80s due to Tommy Lasorda conspiring with Dark Forces. Look at he self-portrait he must have hidden away somewhere. If you meet an otherwise reasonable seeming Dodger fan (!) it is okay to not focus exclusively on this and to instead find a middle ground where you can both agree that Dodger Dogs are worthless and that Dodgers fans' proclivity to leave during the 7th inning stretch in order to "get a jump on traffic" invalidates any claim to legitimate fandom.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 1:05 PM on April 23, 2017
posted by ActingTheGoat at 1:05 PM on April 23, 2017
I am sure some people do it these days because of the racism about Native Americans, too. Lots of reasons to hate the Potatoes, really!
I grew up in KC with the Chiefs, and my husband was raised in the NY metro area in a Jets family, but neither of us are big football fans. I didn't have an opinion on the local DC Metro area team until we moved to Loudoun County, just a few miles from their HQ (and for a while, training camp, until they mercifully relocated that elsewhere). I hate their racist name and Dan Snyder and their traffic and everything about them. I hate that my county board voted to PAY THEM to keep their HQ here. My kids were born in Baltimore so now that they are older and want to talk sports with their pals I tell them that we are Ravens fans because of that, and also Poe.
The DC area has a lot of transients, and my neighborhood has many Steelers and Cowboys fans. But for baseball... many people seemed happy to give up local fanhood for the Orioles when the Nats came to town. (I still have a lingering affection for the Royals having lived there through the '85 World Series, but not in a child-indoctrinating kind of way.)
posted by candyland at 1:06 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I grew up in KC with the Chiefs, and my husband was raised in the NY metro area in a Jets family, but neither of us are big football fans. I didn't have an opinion on the local DC Metro area team until we moved to Loudoun County, just a few miles from their HQ (and for a while, training camp, until they mercifully relocated that elsewhere). I hate their racist name and Dan Snyder and their traffic and everything about them. I hate that my county board voted to PAY THEM to keep their HQ here. My kids were born in Baltimore so now that they are older and want to talk sports with their pals I tell them that we are Ravens fans because of that, and also Poe.
The DC area has a lot of transients, and my neighborhood has many Steelers and Cowboys fans. But for baseball... many people seemed happy to give up local fanhood for the Orioles when the Nats came to town. (I still have a lingering affection for the Royals having lived there through the '85 World Series, but not in a child-indoctrinating kind of way.)
posted by candyland at 1:06 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Look, here's the truth about the Mariners: They suffer from being interminably... not totally awful. They're a D student. When they achieve, you're never totally sure how exactly they did it. When the regress back to woefulness the following year, you're still not sure how they did it because this is the exact same team.
The best things about Mariners games are when they're in the non-rainy season of July-August. It's sunny, 75, and the sun is on full blast. Thousands of M's fans who look like they either live in a cave or have been way into goth their entire lives (and both are probably true) get their alabaster skin turned a bright Red Sox red, guaranteeing them a year's supply of Vitamin D and an early grave from skin cancer. Meanwhile, something with the Mariners is broken, as usual. The hitting (usually), the bullpen (when it's not the hitting), the fielding (tho less so than in the days when they ran out Willie Bloomquist as a starting SS), the starting pitching (which usually manifests as "What's wrong with Felix" or "Why haven't we produced a dependable starting pitcher since Felix").
But on those days, you're in the sun drinking a $10 beer and eating a $15 strawberry-shish-kabob in your $49 seat and... you know, this isn't bad. This isn't bad at all.
The atmosphere. Not that shit team on the field.
The Mariners are what the Cubs were once upon a time -- a dependable punching bag for a generation of romantics and lovers of lost causes (well, English speaking ones -- vive les Expos). The difference is the M's don't have Bill Murray to mug for them.
Of course a young fan should be a Mariners fan. Kids should learn early and often that baseball breaks your heart and that you can't always just support the winners. It's a cold, hard dash of reality in a world where people whine about "participation trophies" while getting angry their 5K race participation t-shirt isn't in their size.
The Mariners are a reminder that no matter what you do, there are things you have zero control over, like death and Mariners trades always ending badly for the M's. So you should do what you can to make your own mark, find joy in the every day, and every once in a while bake in the hot August sun watching a bunch of sad schmucks turn a based loaded scoring opportunity into a strikeout and a double play.
You can keep your Cubs adulation or your Red Sox bandwagon or your Yankees history. I'll take the Mariners. The finest example that life is nasty, brutish, short, fickle, and run by a bunch of idiots, so you might as well enjoy it.
posted by dw at 1:23 PM on April 23, 2017 [11 favorites]
The best things about Mariners games are when they're in the non-rainy season of July-August. It's sunny, 75, and the sun is on full blast. Thousands of M's fans who look like they either live in a cave or have been way into goth their entire lives (and both are probably true) get their alabaster skin turned a bright Red Sox red, guaranteeing them a year's supply of Vitamin D and an early grave from skin cancer. Meanwhile, something with the Mariners is broken, as usual. The hitting (usually), the bullpen (when it's not the hitting), the fielding (tho less so than in the days when they ran out Willie Bloomquist as a starting SS), the starting pitching (which usually manifests as "What's wrong with Felix" or "Why haven't we produced a dependable starting pitcher since Felix").
But on those days, you're in the sun drinking a $10 beer and eating a $15 strawberry-shish-kabob in your $49 seat and... you know, this isn't bad. This isn't bad at all.
The atmosphere. Not that shit team on the field.
The Mariners are what the Cubs were once upon a time -- a dependable punching bag for a generation of romantics and lovers of lost causes (well, English speaking ones -- vive les Expos). The difference is the M's don't have Bill Murray to mug for them.
Of course a young fan should be a Mariners fan. Kids should learn early and often that baseball breaks your heart and that you can't always just support the winners. It's a cold, hard dash of reality in a world where people whine about "participation trophies" while getting angry their 5K race participation t-shirt isn't in their size.
The Mariners are a reminder that no matter what you do, there are things you have zero control over, like death and Mariners trades always ending badly for the M's. So you should do what you can to make your own mark, find joy in the every day, and every once in a while bake in the hot August sun watching a bunch of sad schmucks turn a based loaded scoring opportunity into a strikeout and a double play.
You can keep your Cubs adulation or your Red Sox bandwagon or your Yankees history. I'll take the Mariners. The finest example that life is nasty, brutish, short, fickle, and run by a bunch of idiots, so you might as well enjoy it.
posted by dw at 1:23 PM on April 23, 2017 [11 favorites]
Mariners: We've played the game with kisses and hugs; now's the time when you get to eat bugs.
* Bugs subject to availability
posted by Huffy Puffy at 2:09 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
* Bugs subject to availability
posted by Huffy Puffy at 2:09 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I realize, in retrospect, the biggest reason I was nervous on the day before That Dark November Day this past year--when everything seemed a sure thing--was I was at Safeco the night the Mariners won their 116th game of the regular season. People were talking about the World Series, and what the parade was going to be like.
Dang.
posted by maxwelton at 2:10 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Dang.
posted by maxwelton at 2:10 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
^^^yep, best record in the history of baseball and they still blew it. The M's are the new Cubs, and I'm not going to sentence my children to 75 years of agony. I agree that this should not stop us from strawberry shish kebabs in the sun, especially in August when people are giving away their tickets.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:17 PM on April 23, 2017
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:17 PM on April 23, 2017
#ripcity
posted by gucci mane at 2:22 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by gucci mane at 2:22 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Some of you will get it, the rest of you are prob Warriors fans 🙄
posted by gucci mane at 2:23 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by gucci mane at 2:23 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
A mariners game isn't a mariners game if the tickets aren't super cheap because who goes to a mariners game, anyway, they always lose?
As an Expos fan this comment explains why I've always had a soft spot for the Mariners. Being a fan of a team that left your city is nice because you can have floating interests. I genuinely pulled for the Phillies in the late 2000s but haven't felt bad at all about ignoring them since. Now I mostly cheer for the A's because Giants fans on Caltrain make my commute super annoying periodically.
The American league still feels weird, though.
posted by Space Coyote at 2:55 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
As an Expos fan this comment explains why I've always had a soft spot for the Mariners. Being a fan of a team that left your city is nice because you can have floating interests. I genuinely pulled for the Phillies in the late 2000s but haven't felt bad at all about ignoring them since. Now I mostly cheer for the A's because Giants fans on Caltrain make my commute super annoying periodically.
The American league still feels weird, though.
posted by Space Coyote at 2:55 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I cannot for the life of me understand why everyone in NYC, no actually in America, are not NY Yankee fans. All the folks who complain about their owners being cheap or petty, the Steinbrenner family pays up for talent. They don't change uniforms on Sunday like the Buccos did today for the "we are family" look. Their throwback unis are their unis. Old timers day is a Hall of Fame reunion. They have a history of great and also bad ass catchers, the best position in all of baseball. Berra, Munson, Dickey, Posada, Sanchez.
I am the opposite of jonmc. I grew up on LI and my family had Mets season tickets. I was at the 69 game when they won it. I was at the Pete Rose - Bud Harrelson fight game in 73. But, the Mets just make it so hard to like them. It was around 73 when the Yankees really did still suck (Horace Clark, Jerry Kenny, etc.) when I was just old enough to buck the rest of the family and decide for myself that I was a Yankee and NY Football Giants fan and the Mets and the Joe Willy Jets were just not going to be able to earn my allegiance.
I am also a Knickerbocker and Rangers fan, (LGR!), but the Knicks are so unlikable that rather than root for another team (Nets?) I just cannot watch pro basketball anymore. Oh, Potvin sucks!
posted by AugustWest at 3:22 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I am the opposite of jonmc. I grew up on LI and my family had Mets season tickets. I was at the 69 game when they won it. I was at the Pete Rose - Bud Harrelson fight game in 73. But, the Mets just make it so hard to like them. It was around 73 when the Yankees really did still suck (Horace Clark, Jerry Kenny, etc.) when I was just old enough to buck the rest of the family and decide for myself that I was a Yankee and NY Football Giants fan and the Mets and the Joe Willy Jets were just not going to be able to earn my allegiance.
I am also a Knickerbocker and Rangers fan, (LGR!), but the Knicks are so unlikable that rather than root for another team (Nets?) I just cannot watch pro basketball anymore. Oh, Potvin sucks!
posted by AugustWest at 3:22 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I could tell from the selection process that this guy wasn't from New England. I'm pretty sure if your kid tries to pick another team here that you have a right to put him or her up for adoption...
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:33 PM on April 23, 2017
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:33 PM on April 23, 2017
With the highest salary total in MLB overall, I don't think anyone has EVER accused the Yankees' owners of being cheap.
posted by hippybear at 3:33 PM on April 23, 2017
posted by hippybear at 3:33 PM on April 23, 2017
"This whole conversation got a whole lot easier for me when I figured out that I could enthusiastically say to anyone: "Go team!""
They even make a T-shirt for that!
"p.s. go expos."
I had a neighbor growing up who (very briefly) pitched for the Expos. Of all things.
When the Blackhawks were making their run at the Stanley Cup, (Mefi's) jeather kept trying to convince me to be Montreal Canadiens fan over gchat. She kept at it so diligently that Google became convinced I was a Canadiens obsessive and started putting those scores at the top of my news page and was feeding me all the Canadiens trade news and so on, so I guess now I'm a Montreal fan? GO HABS! When I get asked what hockey team I cheer for I'm like, "Obviously the Blackhawks because I'm from Chicago, but after that the Habs because my friend successfully hacked the Google news feed algorithm and I was so amused by it."
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 3:40 PM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
They even make a T-shirt for that!
"p.s. go expos."
I had a neighbor growing up who (very briefly) pitched for the Expos. Of all things.
When the Blackhawks were making their run at the Stanley Cup, (Mefi's) jeather kept trying to convince me to be Montreal Canadiens fan over gchat. She kept at it so diligently that Google became convinced I was a Canadiens obsessive and started putting those scores at the top of my news page and was feeding me all the Canadiens trade news and so on, so I guess now I'm a Montreal fan? GO HABS! When I get asked what hockey team I cheer for I'm like, "Obviously the Blackhawks because I'm from Chicago, but after that the Habs because my friend successfully hacked the Google news feed algorithm and I was so amused by it."
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 3:40 PM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
Dodgers fans' proclivity to leave during the 7th inning stretch in order to "get a jump on traffic" invalidates any claim to legitimate fandom.
And this, after only getting to the game at the start of the 3rd inning.
posted by LionIndex at 3:45 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
And this, after only getting to the game at the start of the 3rd inning.
posted by LionIndex at 3:45 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
> The best things about Mariners games are when they're in the non-rainy season of July-August. It's sunny, 75, and the sun is on full blast. Thousands of M's fans who look like they either live in a cave or have been way into goth their entire lives (and both are probably true) get their alabaster skin turned a bright Red Sox red, guaranteeing them a year's supply of Vitamin D and an early grave from skin cancer.
SPLITTER! HERETIC!
REVISIONIST!!!
It wasn't until reading your disgusting mockery of what it means to be a mariners fan that I realized that my feelings about baseball are absolutely perfectly identical to the feelings of followers of deposed Albianian Stalinist leader Enver Hoxha. (no, wait, hear me out).
A few things separate Hoxhaism from relatively mainstream political positions, like the ones held by the members of Bob Avakian's Revolutionary Communist Party. Hoxhaism is about insisting that the only tru followers of Marxist-Leninism were the followers of the communist party of Albania. See, first Albania split with the USSR over Khrushchev destalinizing. So for a long while they were only on speaking terms with Maoist nations, even though they were the only Mao-aligned nation in Europe. For people keepiing track of the analogy, this resembles how my national league team is the Montreal Expos (yes I know and don't care about the obvious geographical-temporal problems with that statement). Albania then later split with the Maoist nations, because for reasons they believed that Mao too had deviated from a properly Marxist-Leninist line. So there they were, small weird nation surrounded by enemies on every side, and they did the obvious thing: built thousands and thousands of tiny concrete bunkers.
To be fair the Mariners only built one weird tiny concrete bunker, but, dammit, I loved that thing.
this is what happens when you let your kids grow up watching baseball in domed stadiums. turns 'em hoxhaist.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 4:04 PM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
SPLITTER! HERETIC!
REVISIONIST!!!
It wasn't until reading your disgusting mockery of what it means to be a mariners fan that I realized that my feelings about baseball are absolutely perfectly identical to the feelings of followers of deposed Albianian Stalinist leader Enver Hoxha. (no, wait, hear me out).
A few things separate Hoxhaism from relatively mainstream political positions, like the ones held by the members of Bob Avakian's Revolutionary Communist Party. Hoxhaism is about insisting that the only tru followers of Marxist-Leninism were the followers of the communist party of Albania. See, first Albania split with the USSR over Khrushchev destalinizing. So for a long while they were only on speaking terms with Maoist nations, even though they were the only Mao-aligned nation in Europe. For people keepiing track of the analogy, this resembles how my national league team is the Montreal Expos (yes I know and don't care about the obvious geographical-temporal problems with that statement). Albania then later split with the Maoist nations, because for reasons they believed that Mao too had deviated from a properly Marxist-Leninist line. So there they were, small weird nation surrounded by enemies on every side, and they did the obvious thing: built thousands and thousands of tiny concrete bunkers.
To be fair the Mariners only built one weird tiny concrete bunker, but, dammit, I loved that thing.
this is what happens when you let your kids grow up watching baseball in domed stadiums. turns 'em hoxhaist.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 4:04 PM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
Dodgers fans' proclivity to leave during the 7th inning stretch in order to "get a jump on traffic" invalidates any claim to legitimate fandom.
In fairness, this is pretty much a general Southern California thing, not at all limited to the Dodgers. A couple years ago the Anaheim Ducks had a weeknight playoff game well in hand (final score was 6-1), so, as is common, a lot of fans starting clearing out in the 3rd period. This led to a rather hysterical argument on the Ducks Facebook page with some apoplectic fans imploring ticket holders to stay for the whole game as having a nationally televised game in front of an empty arena was making our fanbase look bad.
posted by The Gooch at 4:14 PM on April 23, 2017
In fairness, this is pretty much a general Southern California thing, not at all limited to the Dodgers. A couple years ago the Anaheim Ducks had a weeknight playoff game well in hand (final score was 6-1), so, as is common, a lot of fans starting clearing out in the 3rd period. This led to a rather hysterical argument on the Ducks Facebook page with some apoplectic fans imploring ticket holders to stay for the whole game as having a nationally televised game in front of an empty arena was making our fanbase look bad.
posted by The Gooch at 4:14 PM on April 23, 2017
You are bound to root for the geographically nearest team, unless you live in a place where there are two, in which case you can pick either so long as it's not the Yankees. Once that's settled, you get to pick a second team from the other league to root for when nothing about doing so would theoretically impact your own team's situation (in other words, the regular season). Again, you may not choose the Yankees, and you will now look like a bandwagon-jumper if you choose either the Red Sox or the Cubs.
posted by axiom at 4:33 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by axiom at 4:33 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
It wasn't until reading your disgusting mockery of what it means to be a mariners fan that I realized that my feelings about baseball are absolutely perfectly identical to the feelings of followers of deposed Albianian Stalinist leader Enver Hoxha. (no, wait, hear me out).
I'm pretty sure you never hear this on AM sports talk. You Can't Tip a Buick, your link is borked for me but I thought of this article from last year, Albania’s bunker museums cast new light on a dark history and this Metafilter thread from a few years back.
this is what happens when you let your kids grow up watching baseball in domed stadiums. turns 'em hoxhaist.
QFMFT! I completely forgot to include artificial turf and domes in my rant, how embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as the designated hitter of course, but still...
posted by ActingTheGoat at 4:51 PM on April 23, 2017
I'm pretty sure you never hear this on AM sports talk. You Can't Tip a Buick, your link is borked for me but I thought of this article from last year, Albania’s bunker museums cast new light on a dark history and this Metafilter thread from a few years back.
this is what happens when you let your kids grow up watching baseball in domed stadiums. turns 'em hoxhaist.
QFMFT! I completely forgot to include artificial turf and domes in my rant, how embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as the designated hitter of course, but still...
posted by ActingTheGoat at 4:51 PM on April 23, 2017
You guys are just warped because your team played in some weird derivative dome, instead of the One True Domed Stadium.
which somehow has a corporate sponsorship despite being vacant for a solid decade now
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:15 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
which somehow has a corporate sponsorship despite being vacant for a solid decade now
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:15 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
so long as it's not the Yankees
I have been wandering in the wilderness so long, as a reformed/fallen Yankees fan who is bald & frequently needs to wear a baseball-hat-shaped-hat, that I finally gave up pretending to be a Mets fan and got a bunch of hats from defunct minor league teams with logos & letterforms I like. Which feels like a caricature of Brooklyn aestheticism except that it gives me a great opportunity to point at my hat and say, "this? it's for the Miami Amigos, they played half a season in a short-lived Caribbean league in 1979," which really just makes it so much worse.
posted by miles per flower at 5:43 PM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I have been wandering in the wilderness so long, as a reformed/fallen Yankees fan who is bald & frequently needs to wear a baseball-hat-shaped-hat, that I finally gave up pretending to be a Mets fan and got a bunch of hats from defunct minor league teams with logos & letterforms I like. Which feels like a caricature of Brooklyn aestheticism except that it gives me a great opportunity to point at my hat and say, "this? it's for the Miami Amigos, they played half a season in a short-lived Caribbean league in 1979," which really just makes it so much worse.
posted by miles per flower at 5:43 PM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
What if instead of two, there are none?
The nearest MLB team is over 300 miles away, so far in fact, that we can't even get games on AM which, as we all know, is the only true way to listen to a baseball game.
The nearest professional team is a short season minor league affiliate, so I guess I could pick their organization as the uber-franchise.
They play in one of those brand-new retro style abominations though, which is awful and soulless.
posted by madajb at 5:55 PM on April 23, 2017
They still sell Brooklyn Dodgers caps, in case you want to go full retro hipster. Or you could go for the Albuquerque Isotopes, or the Montgomery Biscuits.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:55 PM on April 23, 2017
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:55 PM on April 23, 2017
I think when your MLB team affiliation involves an analysis of Albanian Marxism, you are a true Mefite indeed and you have overthought the beans very nicely.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:07 PM on April 23, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:07 PM on April 23, 2017 [10 favorites]
"you will now look like a bandwagon-jumper if you choose either the Red Sox or the Cubs."
It's okay. We (the Cubs) have a very nice bandwagon and you are welcome to get on it!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:17 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
It's okay. We (the Cubs) have a very nice bandwagon and you are welcome to get on it!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:17 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
This article bugged me. What happens next... Dad sits his n-year old down and intones, "Son, it's time to pick a team and here's what they all sent you after I wrote them when you were just a baby. Now choose." I guess? If they had sent the letters together when the kid was four or five, fine, but as described it's weirdly controlling even as it claims not to be. Why can't the kid's fandom just evolve organically? What if he doesn't even like baseball?
posted by carmicha at 7:07 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by carmicha at 7:07 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Even people who don't like baseball actually like baseball. It's weird, but it's what I've witnessed across my nearly 50 years.
posted by hippybear at 7:40 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 7:40 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I've been struggling with this, as a life-long Red Sox fan who inherited my fandom from my central Massachusetts raised father and weeks spent with my grandmother in Worcester county and the Cape. And I stuck with the Red Sox for years despite actually growing up in the heart of Yankees country.
But I've lived in Queens for seven years now and, goddammit, I kind of love the Mets.
posted by thecaddy at 7:54 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
But I've lived in Queens for seven years now and, goddammit, I kind of love the Mets.
posted by thecaddy at 7:54 PM on April 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Just chipping in to confirm that Potvin sucks.
posted by Lyme Drop at 8:07 PM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Lyme Drop at 8:07 PM on April 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
so to recap:
Baseball: yay!
Potvin: sucks!
Hoxhaism: It's complicated.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:40 PM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
Baseball: yay!
Potvin: sucks!
Hoxhaism: It's complicated.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:40 PM on April 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm not much of a sports person (even when I was living in the US I didn't really pick up any great interest in it) but my parents have been long-time Formula 1 fans and so I grew up with passing familiarity of that sport. My dad's a big Schuey (and overall Ferrari) fan; Mum's into Mercedes. I picked Jarno Trulli as my fave only because I am much, much more a Savage Garden fan than I'll ever be of any sports team, and "omg his name is like Truly Madly Deeply lol"
(I decided to root for Turkey in the 2006 World Cup despite having just moved to Australia during that time also because of names: I thought Ilhan Mansiz was a hella awesome name. So I have empathy for the Tigers kid.)
I'd be interested in knowing what happens if the kid isn't into sports at all.
posted by divabat at 9:27 PM on April 23, 2017
(I decided to root for Turkey in the 2006 World Cup despite having just moved to Australia during that time also because of names: I thought Ilhan Mansiz was a hella awesome name. So I have empathy for the Tigers kid.)
I'd be interested in knowing what happens if the kid isn't into sports at all.
posted by divabat at 9:27 PM on April 23, 2017
Pick the closest National League team. While the American League plays a game incredibly similar to baseball and will do in a pinch, the designated hitter puts AL teams too far into the uncanny valley to be anything but disturbing to watch.
It's funny how only National League fans care at all about the DH, frothing at the mouth like baseball should have been put in a time capsule in 1955 and there isn't interleague play happening every day. Ask like a Twins fan about the DH and she'll be like" I dunno, I like watching big league hitters hit so that's good? But, really, whatever, if they said I had to watch Ervin Santana strike out on four pitches every nine batters, that'd be fine."
posted by Kwine at 9:49 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
It's funny how only National League fans care at all about the DH, frothing at the mouth like baseball should have been put in a time capsule in 1955 and there isn't interleague play happening every day. Ask like a Twins fan about the DH and she'll be like" I dunno, I like watching big league hitters hit so that's good? But, really, whatever, if they said I had to watch Ervin Santana strike out on four pitches every nine batters, that'd be fine."
posted by Kwine at 9:49 PM on April 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Let us Yankee fans not forget Ron Bloomberg, the first person to come to bat as a DH. Also the manager for the Bet Shemesh Blue Sox in the Israeli baseball league.
posted by AugustWest at 9:59 PM on April 23, 2017
posted by AugustWest at 9:59 PM on April 23, 2017
madajb: "The nearest MLB team is over 300 miles away, so far in fact, that we can't even get games on AM which, as we all know, is the only true way to listen to a baseball game. "
FWIW, the MLB.com app delivers live radio as well as video, which means you can replicate the delicious AM experience with ease.
posted by chavenet at 3:18 AM on April 24, 2017
FWIW, the MLB.com app delivers live radio as well as video, which means you can replicate the delicious AM experience with ease.
posted by chavenet at 3:18 AM on April 24, 2017
And MLB Gameday Radio is a really nice package -- it's a once-a-season flat rate and cheap at that, there are no regional blackouts (unlike MLB.TV, which blots out any home games within 3.2 parsecs of your location), it covers spring training and postseason, it lets you replay completed games (so, let's say, if someone throws a perfect game on Tuesday and you miss it, you can listen to it on Wednesday), and you generally get your choice of feeds (so, let's say, if someone throws a perfect game on Tuesday, you can hear their commentators rave about the once-in-a-lifetime pitching gem then listen to the opposing commentators bitch about the horrible strike zone).
I had a Montgomery Biscuits hat until I accidentally melted the plastic clasp on the back. Lord love any team whose mascot has a buttery tongue.
As for Alternate Rooting Alliances, I can give dispensations once in a while. Like, I was a Broncos fan in my teens and beyond because I loved watching John Elway play and the team's style in general. They were in the opposite conference from my home team, so they only played each other every five years or so, and they were archrivals to one of my most hated teams (the Raiders) so it seemed like a non-betrayal of Eagles green. It gave me a reason to follow the other conference with more than casual interest, and I kept on with it through the down period that followed the losing SB runs so I didn't feel all fair-weather when Elway finally got his ring.
Then they made A Series Of Seriously Unacceptable Quarterback Choices, and between Tebow and Fivehead I'm still waiting for the stench to go away long enough for me to consider returning.
posted by delfin at 6:00 AM on April 24, 2017
I had a Montgomery Biscuits hat until I accidentally melted the plastic clasp on the back. Lord love any team whose mascot has a buttery tongue.
As for Alternate Rooting Alliances, I can give dispensations once in a while. Like, I was a Broncos fan in my teens and beyond because I loved watching John Elway play and the team's style in general. They were in the opposite conference from my home team, so they only played each other every five years or so, and they were archrivals to one of my most hated teams (the Raiders) so it seemed like a non-betrayal of Eagles green. It gave me a reason to follow the other conference with more than casual interest, and I kept on with it through the down period that followed the losing SB runs so I didn't feel all fair-weather when Elway finally got his ring.
Then they made A Series Of Seriously Unacceptable Quarterback Choices, and between Tebow and Fivehead I'm still waiting for the stench to go away long enough for me to consider returning.
posted by delfin at 6:00 AM on April 24, 2017
Lord love any team whose mascot has a buttery tongue.
I don't have any response to this. I just wanted to put it here because it's such a lovely series of words that obviously have meaning, but....
posted by hippybear at 6:03 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I don't have any response to this. I just wanted to put it here because it's such a lovely series of words that obviously have meaning, but....
posted by hippybear at 6:03 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Even people who don't like baseball actually like baseball.
Baseball is a slow outdoors sport, a little like cricket. You can sit and drink and eat and enjoy the sun and generally be with other human beings all being harmlessly for the same thing.
So I like baseball. In theory. I like the idea of baseball. (And cricket, for that matter.)
In practice, I could never be bothered. I suppose it's some combination of ticket prices, food prices, entrance lines, bathroom lines, peeing shoulder to shoulder into a trough, etc.
posted by pracowity at 6:13 AM on April 24, 2017
Baseball is a slow outdoors sport, a little like cricket. You can sit and drink and eat and enjoy the sun and generally be with other human beings all being harmlessly for the same thing.
So I like baseball. In theory. I like the idea of baseball. (And cricket, for that matter.)
In practice, I could never be bothered. I suppose it's some combination of ticket prices, food prices, entrance lines, bathroom lines, peeing shoulder to shoulder into a trough, etc.
posted by pracowity at 6:13 AM on April 24, 2017
That's what minor league baseball is for: All of the chillaxing and some of the moments of excitement, plus ticket, beer and game-day nosh all for less than the cost of parking at a major-league stadium. (It can't help you with the bathroom issues, though; lay off the drinking and that'll be easier to deal with.)
posted by ardgedee at 6:57 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by ardgedee at 6:57 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Teach your kids how to bet while they're young. They'll learn math, develop an appreciation of the game unwarped by the love of a perpetually shitty home team, and who knows? They might even be able to pay their own way through college.
posted by whuppy at 7:21 AM on April 24, 2017
posted by whuppy at 7:21 AM on April 24, 2017
But when I met my wife, I also fell in love with her city, Buffalo. Her dad is a season ticket holder for the Sabres, and so whenever we'd visit, we'd go to a Sabres game. The first one was against the Leafs, which is a big deal because all the Torontonians who can't get tickets there rent limos and drive an hour down the QEW to watch in Buffalo, where they're generally boorish and abusive. I found the resistance from Sabres fans endearing. But I'm an honorary Buffalonian anyway: I love beef on weck and Mighty Taco and snow and all that. Plus, the Sabres have been the worst team in the NHL since I started cheering for them, so no one can accuse me of jumping on the bandwagon.
This is the most true thing I have ever read on Metafilter.
1. You love someone from Buffalo, you will love Buffalo. That's just how it works.
2. Leafs fans are totally boorish at Sabres games.
3. The Sabres are terrible.
Because the Sabres are terrible but I like watching hockey/yelling at the tv, I've devised a complicated points-based system for ranking all of the other teams from second-best (Flyers) to worst (Leafs) so I can pop into any given game and have strong convictions about the preferred team. Like, the Nashville is playing Chicago? Nashville has PK Subban (+10) but Poile signed Ribiero after all that went down (-7) so they're at a 3. But Chicago is at -25 (no explanation necessary). So, when those two teams play each other, Nashville it is!
The article, though: I have been trying to contact MLB teams with an admittedly dumber question for over a year and I have not received a single response. Perhaps I need to add a cute kid angle. Hmm.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 7:48 AM on April 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
This is the most true thing I have ever read on Metafilter.
1. You love someone from Buffalo, you will love Buffalo. That's just how it works.
2. Leafs fans are totally boorish at Sabres games.
3. The Sabres are terrible.
Because the Sabres are terrible but I like watching hockey/yelling at the tv, I've devised a complicated points-based system for ranking all of the other teams from second-best (Flyers) to worst (Leafs) so I can pop into any given game and have strong convictions about the preferred team. Like, the Nashville is playing Chicago? Nashville has PK Subban (+10) but Poile signed Ribiero after all that went down (-7) so they're at a 3. But Chicago is at -25 (no explanation necessary). So, when those two teams play each other, Nashville it is!
The article, though: I have been trying to contact MLB teams with an admittedly dumber question for over a year and I have not received a single response. Perhaps I need to add a cute kid angle. Hmm.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 7:48 AM on April 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I can answer that for you; they do in fact have matching towels.
posted by Etrigan at 8:25 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Etrigan at 8:25 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I married into a Cubs family, but my husband still INSISTS I must be a Twins or Mariners fan, as he just can't imagine not having a baseball affiliation AT BIRTH.
posted by typecloud at 8:46 AM on April 24, 2017
posted by typecloud at 8:46 AM on April 24, 2017
People who "choose" their team don't really have a team at all, because there's nothing concrete binding them to it.
If there's one thing we can all probably agree on, it's that baseball is the fucking fogiest pro sport.
I'm a local fan too, but people move ... and in this day and age, the local TV affiliates aren't showing the games, so really your TV allegiance is whatever you choose to purchase. (Remember when we were all forced to believe that the Braves were "America's Team?" VOMIT. (The Cubs and White Sox took a more muted approach at WGN (That's when I started to love the White Sox.)))
I grew up in Detroit (Tigers, Pistons, Red Wings, and Lions for pro sports, in that order), but when I was 12 (summer of 1984!!! Go Tigers! Best Team EVER!!!) I moved to Kentucky (no pro sports, closest teams are Reds/Bengals, Cardinals/Rams ... Chicago? Atlanta?), so I stayed a Detroit fan for another 6-8 years ...
But I've been living in the San Francisco area for 27 years, by far the bulk of my adult life. Should I be forced to keep rooting for Tigers and Pistons, even though my local media covers the A's, Giants, and Warriors?
So, I think the old fogey rules of having to root for your nearest baseball team no longer apply (if they ever did.)
To me, it doesn't really matter because I don't have pay TV anymore, so I can't watch any sports at all. I root for my local high school baseball and softball teams, which is really what every parent and kid should do in the fucking first place. The games are just as entertaining and much much cheaper. (I admit I do miss baseball on TV ...)
I couldn't finish the article. I got sick to my stomach when he praised the treacly letter from the Pirates. THAT'S exactly what he wanted to hear?!?!? VOMIT PT. II.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:04 AM on April 24, 2017
If there's one thing we can all probably agree on, it's that baseball is the fucking fogiest pro sport.
I'm a local fan too, but people move ... and in this day and age, the local TV affiliates aren't showing the games, so really your TV allegiance is whatever you choose to purchase. (Remember when we were all forced to believe that the Braves were "America's Team?" VOMIT. (The Cubs and White Sox took a more muted approach at WGN (That's when I started to love the White Sox.)))
I grew up in Detroit (Tigers, Pistons, Red Wings, and Lions for pro sports, in that order), but when I was 12 (summer of 1984!!! Go Tigers! Best Team EVER!!!) I moved to Kentucky (no pro sports, closest teams are Reds/Bengals, Cardinals/Rams ... Chicago? Atlanta?), so I stayed a Detroit fan for another 6-8 years ...
But I've been living in the San Francisco area for 27 years, by far the bulk of my adult life. Should I be forced to keep rooting for Tigers and Pistons, even though my local media covers the A's, Giants, and Warriors?
So, I think the old fogey rules of having to root for your nearest baseball team no longer apply (if they ever did.)
To me, it doesn't really matter because I don't have pay TV anymore, so I can't watch any sports at all. I root for my local high school baseball and softball teams, which is really what every parent and kid should do in the fucking first place. The games are just as entertaining and much much cheaper. (I admit I do miss baseball on TV ...)
I couldn't finish the article. I got sick to my stomach when he praised the treacly letter from the Pirates. THAT'S exactly what he wanted to hear?!?!? VOMIT PT. II.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:04 AM on April 24, 2017
This is the most true thing I have ever read on Metafilter.
1. You love someone from Buffalo, you will love Buffalo. That's just how it works.
2. Leafs fans are totally boorish at Sabres games.
3. The Sabres are terrible.
I married a girl from Buffalo with Sabre season tickets. I still love Buffalo. Not so much the girl.
My favorite part about Buffalo was going to Bisons games. Got to put a message on the scoreboard on the day after we got engaged. Oh, and the beer. Went to a local tavern the first time I went to meet her family. Sat at the bar and ordered two beers. Never asked what kind. I put a $10 bill on the bar. Got back $9 in change. Told the bartender to keep em coming until there was only $5 left. That was for him. Love that town.
posted by AugustWest at 10:15 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
1. You love someone from Buffalo, you will love Buffalo. That's just how it works.
2. Leafs fans are totally boorish at Sabres games.
3. The Sabres are terrible.
I married a girl from Buffalo with Sabre season tickets. I still love Buffalo. Not so much the girl.
My favorite part about Buffalo was going to Bisons games. Got to put a message on the scoreboard on the day after we got engaged. Oh, and the beer. Went to a local tavern the first time I went to meet her family. Sat at the bar and ordered two beers. Never asked what kind. I put a $10 bill on the bar. Got back $9 in change. Told the bartender to keep em coming until there was only $5 left. That was for him. Love that town.
posted by AugustWest at 10:15 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
My NHL playoff secondary-fandom is a little less complicated.
1. Have I ever visited the city?
2. Did I like it?
3. Is there an unsually short player on the team?
So, I wanted the Wild (been to MSP 3x in the past two years) to beat the Blues (used to live in STL and hated it). When Tampa is in the playoffs, I generally like them because of Tyler Johnson. Cam Atkinson poses problems for me because on the one hand, solidarity with short people (even though I hit a growth spurt in college and I'm not actually short anymore), but on the other hand, Columbus meh.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:53 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
1. Have I ever visited the city?
2. Did I like it?
3. Is there an unsually short player on the team?
So, I wanted the Wild (been to MSP 3x in the past two years) to beat the Blues (used to live in STL and hated it). When Tampa is in the playoffs, I generally like them because of Tyler Johnson. Cam Atkinson poses problems for me because on the one hand, solidarity with short people (even though I hit a growth spurt in college and I'm not actually short anymore), but on the other hand, Columbus meh.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:53 AM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Today, the favorite team calculus is simple! ALL HAIL THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS.
Tomorrow when the playoffs resume I'll be back to my usual formula of rooting for whatever Canadian team advances the deepest. But today is for Leaf-elimination afterglow, and for hate-reading all of the Toronto columnists who are jerking themselves off over what a great hockey town Toronto is.
posted by Sauce Trough at 1:34 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Tomorrow when the playoffs resume I'll be back to my usual formula of rooting for whatever Canadian team advances the deepest. But today is for Leaf-elimination afterglow, and for hate-reading all of the Toronto columnists who are jerking themselves off over what a great hockey town Toronto is.
posted by Sauce Trough at 1:34 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I grew up in Massachusetts. I am a Mets fan. Here is how that happened:
I was born in New York, but moved to MA when I was 1 and have no real memory of it. Nevertheless, when 1986 rolled around and it was the Red Sox vs. the Mets, my 7-year-old self felt like I had a stake in both teams, and I was just very happy for all the nice men. There was, however, a severe miscarriage of justice occurring. It seemed clear to me that everyone deserves fans, but no one I knew was cheering for the Mets. I didn't understand how it could be possible for the Mets to have no fans in the whole world, the whole world being defined as "all of my neighbors in Red Sox Nation", but there it was. It seemed very unfair to me, so I said, you know what, Mets, I'll be your one fan, you shouldn't have to toil all alone.
Then the Mets won, and I was a horrible little shit to all my friends and neighbors for a year. Then that year was over, and I was still, now indelibly, a Mets fan. If you feel that this story indicates a disturbing lack of moral character in me, please consider that I have been well repaid for my sins by having had to give up watching baseball for the last thirty years, forced instead to endure whatever it is those idiots think they're doing.
As for "nothing concrete binding me" to the Mets or any other team I support, I can only say that the same thing binds me to my teams that binds everyone to theirs, local or otherwise: interminable, inevitable suffering. It is the only true shibboleth of the sports devotee, and if you have it, you don't have to prove anything to anyone.
posted by Errant at 3:25 PM on April 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I was born in New York, but moved to MA when I was 1 and have no real memory of it. Nevertheless, when 1986 rolled around and it was the Red Sox vs. the Mets, my 7-year-old self felt like I had a stake in both teams, and I was just very happy for all the nice men. There was, however, a severe miscarriage of justice occurring. It seemed clear to me that everyone deserves fans, but no one I knew was cheering for the Mets. I didn't understand how it could be possible for the Mets to have no fans in the whole world, the whole world being defined as "all of my neighbors in Red Sox Nation", but there it was. It seemed very unfair to me, so I said, you know what, Mets, I'll be your one fan, you shouldn't have to toil all alone.
Then the Mets won, and I was a horrible little shit to all my friends and neighbors for a year. Then that year was over, and I was still, now indelibly, a Mets fan. If you feel that this story indicates a disturbing lack of moral character in me, please consider that I have been well repaid for my sins by having had to give up watching baseball for the last thirty years, forced instead to endure whatever it is those idiots think they're doing.
As for "nothing concrete binding me" to the Mets or any other team I support, I can only say that the same thing binds me to my teams that binds everyone to theirs, local or otherwise: interminable, inevitable suffering. It is the only true shibboleth of the sports devotee, and if you have it, you don't have to prove anything to anyone.
posted by Errant at 3:25 PM on April 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
How timely! I haven't read the whole thread yet (man you guys, I love me some MetaFilter baseball threads, this made my night) but I just wanted to say that having moved from Mariners territory to Western New York, I need a new team. I became a Mariners fan because I was living in Seattle in 2001 when I discovered baseball, though it has of course been all downhill from there. BUT their games start at like 10pm ET most of the time which is after my bedtime, so I need an East Coast team. Yankees are right out, only posers become Yanks fans in the 21st century. So that leaves either the Mets or the Blue Jays. Blue Jays are closer.... but they're in a different country and not in New York... also Mets are the underdog team which is appealing.... but right now I think I might like Canada a little better anyway? I dunno. It's a dilemma.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:09 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:09 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
OH AND Blue Jays are AL (which is all I know, being a Mariners fan) and Mets are NL (which... their pitchers bat and that's weird but also the DH thing seems like cheating) so I just do not know.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:19 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:19 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
And then I got to ActingTheGoat's comment and I think I was just told that I'm now a Mets fan. That's cool, I was leaning that way anyway.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:24 PM on April 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:24 PM on April 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I don't like the DH, but it's not exactly cheating if both teams get to do the same thing. I do feel like it simplifies the manager's part, not having to figure out what to do with the lineups and replacements when he really NEEDS the pitcher to NOT bat, and to choose wisely when that is.
Luckily my Yokohama Baystars are in the league without the DH. I figure I can count that as my NPB hometown team without having to give up my MLB team. (Not doing that great in Yokohama this year either, sigh.)
posted by ctmf at 6:30 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Luckily my Yokohama Baystars are in the league without the DH. I figure I can count that as my NPB hometown team without having to give up my MLB team. (Not doing that great in Yokohama this year either, sigh.)
posted by ctmf at 6:30 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Hey rabbitrabbit, don't be so hasty. The Jays and Mariners both joined the league in 1977. They are inextricably linked by history. That's gotta be worth something.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 6:30 PM on April 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by GhostintheMachine at 6:30 PM on April 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Now I'm reminiscing about falling in love with baseball in 2001. I was working at the Suzzallo Library at the University of Washington, in a really quiet room full of cubicles, but like literally everybody was listening to Mariners games on their headphones, so if you were, for instance, up to get a glass of water, you still knew when runs happened because everyone would suddenly cheer.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:36 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:36 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Jays, because Canada and because expansion team solidarity.
Unless you've got a time machine and can go back and save the Expos, but if you've got a time machine there's more important stuff you should fix first.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:08 PM on April 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Unless you've got a time machine and can go back and save the Expos, but if you've got a time machine there's more important stuff you should fix first.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:08 PM on April 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
rabbitrabbit, if you are an AL fan and in Western NY, forget the BlueJays. Cleveland Indians is your team. I say that as a lifelong, grew up in NYC area Yankees fan. The Indians are a team one could easily learn to love. Lots of history, lots of winning years ago and recent losing with last year maybe signaling a change of fortune.
posted by AugustWest at 7:18 PM on April 24, 2017
posted by AugustWest at 7:18 PM on April 24, 2017
todo track down Seattle Pilots cap.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:19 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:19 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
there is a clear reason not to pick the team from cleveland.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:02 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:02 PM on April 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Errant, that would have been 1986 Mets beating the Sox in the World Fucking Series in seven games. Being a seven year old Mets-loving shit in Massachusetts is ballsy as hell and fits with what I know of you personally, but I have to question your parents' concern for your safety as criminally negligent. I'm glad you survived and how is your therapy going?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:05 PM on April 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:05 PM on April 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
Being a seven year old Mets-loving shit in Massachusetts is ballsy as hell and fits with what I know of you personally, but I have to question your parents' concern for your safety as criminally negligent.
No one in my Indian immigrant family really understood local sporting loyalty as a concept at that time, or indeed American traditions. There were a number of Thanksgivings which involved a vast array of aloo gobhi, shaak, paneer palak, and then a lonely, somewhat roasted turkey in a dish which people eyed curiously as they walked by it. Afterward, we would put on a football game, because that's what we heard you're supposed to do, and try gamely to understand why people kept running into each other and how come they didn't measure the run rate or number of overs left. It was not the easiest assimilation process.
posted by Errant at 10:04 AM on April 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
No one in my Indian immigrant family really understood local sporting loyalty as a concept at that time, or indeed American traditions. There were a number of Thanksgivings which involved a vast array of aloo gobhi, shaak, paneer palak, and then a lonely, somewhat roasted turkey in a dish which people eyed curiously as they walked by it. Afterward, we would put on a football game, because that's what we heard you're supposed to do, and try gamely to understand why people kept running into each other and how come they didn't measure the run rate or number of overs left. It was not the easiest assimilation process.
posted by Errant at 10:04 AM on April 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
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This was fun to read, and different from what I expected when I clicked the link. Thanks for posting!
posted by hippybear at 6:50 AM on April 23, 2017