Extremely fun home!

June 14, 2017 2:39 PM

Contemporary eccentric full log sided custom home on 20+/- acres for the cat fancier! If you love cats this is the home for you! If not bring your sandblaster! Custom build, hardwood kitchen cabinets (Oak, Lacewood, and Bocote) artistically accented with river rock. Cat walkways and in great room Medieval cat castle with different levels (stone). All interior doors custom built (wood). Must see to believe it does exist!!! Once in a lifetime find extremely fun home!
posted by terooot (56 comments total)

I can smell it just by looking at the pictures…
posted by mumimor at 2:43 PM on June 14, 2017 [18 favorites]

I love cats but oh jesus god no
posted by AFABulous at 2:43 PM on June 14, 2017 [11 favorites]

See also
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:47 PM on June 14, 2017

please add tag "surrealestate"
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:56 PM on June 14, 2017 [27 favorites]

Where did all the kitties go?
posted by amtho at 3:01 PM on June 14, 2017 [6 favorites]

They found another place. Thought this was a bit garish.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:08 PM on June 14, 2017 [25 favorites]

Seems purrrfect....what?
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:12 PM on June 14, 2017

REALLY PUTS THE OW IN MEOW!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:19 PM on June 14, 2017 [4 favorites]

OK, we have cats, I'll take a look...OH MY GAWD KILL IT WITH FIRE! Sandblaster? No, nuke the site from orbit.
posted by Ber at 3:26 PM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

Clearly taking a page from The Cats' House.
posted by jocelmeow at 3:27 PM on June 14, 2017

This is like Buffalo Bill's house in Silence of the Lambs, except instead of raising moths and sewing human skin suits, Jame Gumb spends all of his time bedazzling Hello Kitty plushies and turning himself into Franken-Garfield. It puts the lasagna on its skin, or else it gets the Nermal again!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:36 PM on June 14, 2017 [38 favorites]

What is the sandblaster supposed to be for?
posted by thelonius at 3:37 PM on June 14, 2017 [2 favorites]

Your eyes.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:37 PM on June 14, 2017 [51 favorites]

Chaotic, tasteless, barely habitable, obsessed with cats... it's like the Internet became a house.
posted by MrVisible at 3:40 PM on June 14, 2017 [42 favorites]

"That looks looks nice from the outsi...oh. oh god. Oh god no".

There was/is a website (which I totally cannot remember the name of) from a realtor in the AZ area that posts pictures of real estate disasters like this. This would be a nice addition to their collection.
posted by littlesq at 3:40 PM on June 14, 2017

Land value: $250,000
Demo cost: -$10,000
---------------------------
Final List Price: $240,000
posted by rh at 3:42 PM on June 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

I collect realtor euphemisms and turns of phrase, so I have to give this one full points for simultaneous spin and honesty (the sandblaster). Incidentally, I am going to guess that all those photos are glued/decoupaged to the walls and floors, hence the sandblaster.
posted by thomas j wise at 3:44 PM on June 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

Please, please let it be bought and turned into a nonprofit cat sanctuary!
posted by nicebookrack at 3:49 PM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

I assume buying this place would go like the time I bought one of those fancy climbing towers for my cat's birthday - complete and total disinterest.
posted by InfidelZombie at 4:01 PM on June 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

I hope the owner is getting help. This looks like they've retreated into a fantasy world of cats with the bills piling up in the letterbox untouched, and now they have to sell. And where are all the cats?
posted by adept256 at 4:02 PM on June 14, 2017

pictures of real estate disasters. There's a tumblr I'm subscribed to, terriblerealestatephotos, that is exactly that, and quite amusing. Yes, it picked up this abomination earlier.
posted by wilful at 4:03 PM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

"Previous owner eaten by cats."
posted by JohnFromGR at 4:04 PM on June 14, 2017 [8 favorites]

Meanwhile, back at stately Feverdream Manor...
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:04 PM on June 14, 2017 [2 favorites]

Is it weird when the sanest part of your real estate photos are the pictures of your water heater and trampoline?
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:26 PM on June 14, 2017 [6 favorites]

So I saw that floating around fb but never clicked, and holy mother it's way worse than I thought.

$414 in property taxes for 20 acres tho.
posted by Fig at 4:31 PM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

so one of the things that david harvey mentions in passing in his class on Capital is how the distinction between use value and exchange value plays out in real estate; if you're concerned with the use value of your house or apartment, you're likely to extensively customize it to better support the specificities of your lifestyle, but if you're concerned with exchange value you want to minimize the amount and intensity of distinguishing features in order to create a larger market for your place when it's time to sell it.

which is to say, this place looks awful but I'm glad the weirdo who lived there did that to it. a world with cotton candy nightmare cat house in it is better than a world full of nothing but interchangeable granite countertops, designed to support the demands of the market rather than as a space for a particular person (and their companion animals) to live a joyful life in.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 4:34 PM on June 14, 2017 [74 favorites]

This is basically like someone gave an 11-year-old with a subscription to Cat Fancy a house and an unlimited decorating budget.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:37 PM on June 14, 2017 [13 favorites]

Owner dies, owner eaten by cats, cats redecorate house (they don't get into that closet because they lack opposable thumbs), cats call realtor
posted by dismas at 4:37 PM on June 14, 2017 [12 favorites]

They're trying to give it away, right?

Nope. Don't want it.

You mean they aren't trying to give it away? I'm a-thinkin' it might be on the market awhile.
posted by BlueHorse at 4:43 PM on June 14, 2017

$414 in property taxes for 20 acres tho.

Better dead in California than alive in Arizona.

--Lucille Bluth
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 5:08 PM on June 14, 2017 [9 favorites]

Homer: Once we get the cats out of the way, it won't be too bad.

Real Estate Agent: Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd be their tenants!
posted by Guy Smiley at 5:08 PM on June 14, 2017 [4 favorites]

I wonder if the owner, in a fit of self-awareness, ever said "I guess that's when the madness set in."
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:12 PM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

Selena Kyle retired to where?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 5:13 PM on June 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

We're i to buy this, it might still be my second stupidest purchase.
posted by wotsac at 5:23 PM on June 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

A quarter. Of. A. Million. Dollars. For that.
posted by zardoz at 6:42 PM on June 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

That's a cheap cathouse.

All I can think of is an old Johnny Paycheck song, "Thanks to the cathouse, I'm in the doghouse with you."
posted by spitbull at 6:54 PM on June 14, 2017

My wife: "That's not ok... is that a cat house? ...I want a cat house."
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:10 PM on June 14, 2017

Wow. Somebody stop them before they decoupage again!
posted by Rush-That-Speaks at 7:12 PM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

this must have taken so much time and thought and effort to make.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:15 PM on June 14, 2017 [4 favorites]

The thing is -- it doesn't actually look like a house for cats. There's a YouTube video of a carpenter in California who filled his home with cat walkways, perches, and dens, so his clowder of pets would feel comfortable. This is a house for people who like crappy cat-themed decoration.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 7:22 PM on June 14, 2017 [16 favorites]

heh, I was noticing that at least how it's staged in the pictures, there's a lot of breakables precariously positioned on shelves.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:26 PM on June 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

The story begins, "Marjorie had always wanted a kitten, but her father was deathly allergic to cats. She longed to snuggle and play with any kitty, but it never seemed to happen. When she was ten, she put up cat-sitter-for-hire signs everywhere, but their apartment complex had strict rules against pets (and most other fun things), so even this was denied her.

"She spent her whole childhood waiting to own her own house and praying that she hadn't inherited the family immune system. Her whole career plan -- bachelor's degree from Arizona State in history of outsider art, law school, a just-big-enough house out in the desert -- was really built around one dream: to someday have a bunch of cats and the freedom to live exactly as she wanted. Then, unfortunately, she fell in love, as women sometimes do, with a man who turned out to be very like her father--yet not quite as good."
posted by amtho at 7:57 PM on June 14, 2017 [4 favorites]

I can smell it just by looking at the pictures…/

One time I had to go in the house of a person who was basically a cat hoarder, though I think they called it a cat rescue. Anyway, you could start smelling it from across the lawn, and when the front door opened my eyes and nose burned like crazy. They were living in this place with an atmosphere like one of those toxic moons of Jupiter, I have no idea how they could stand it for more than a few minutes. I'm pretty sure the "litter box" was actually the entire floor.

the distinction between use value and exchange value

I think about this a lot. If I didn't have to care about resale, there are things I would do very differently. But when I've been house shopping, I've only once gone into one of those houses with lots of "character" or "individuality" and not been completely turned off -- individual taste is a peculiar thing, and when someone dials it up to 11 the results aren't usually that great. I have no pretense that my own taste is good enough to create a work of art rather than an unsellable weird place.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:27 PM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

That was a cat-astrophe.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 9:48 PM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

Even I thought it was a little much.
posted by Space Kitty at 10:16 PM on June 14, 2017 [8 favorites]

Toxoplasmosis is a hell of a drug.
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:21 PM on June 14, 2017 [3 favorites]

this must have taken so much time and thought and effort to make

Time, yes. Effort, yes.

Also, I couldn't get the photos in the original link to load, and that's how I discovered there is a video tour.
posted by Diablevert at 1:44 AM on June 15, 2017 [2 favorites]

which is to say, this place looks awful but I'm glad the weirdo who lived there did that to it. a world with cotton candy nightmare cat house in it is better than a world full of nothing but interchangeable granite countertops, designed to support the demands of the market rather than as a space for a particular person (and their companion animals) to live a joyful life in.

Yeah, I don't understand the hate. I mean, I wouldn't touch this house with a $240,000 pole, but I'd love to have a look around. And I wish there was more info about its history. How many cats actually lived there? Wouldn't it be amazing if it was all a shrine for one small, fluffy Snowball?
posted by lollymccatburglar at 3:40 AM on June 15, 2017 [2 favorites]

Surprisingly, the original owner only had one cat. (Fake)
posted by freecellwizard at 4:25 AM on June 15, 2017

Why is it that when people do this kind of thing, it involves twenty-'leven eye-searing colors in each room plus gluing tons of crap to the walls, ceiling and everywhere else they can reach? It's not the general concept I object to --- 'a house designed for my cats' comfort!' --- it's the sheer bad taste involved in the execution.

(But boy yes, I'll bet that place stinks like the biggest litterbox ever.)
posted by easily confused at 4:49 AM on June 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

This is the interior decorating version of the Trump Presidency.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:45 AM on June 15, 2017 [2 favorites]

I'm guessing that they had no cats (probably allergic), and this was just a wee bit of over-compensating.
posted by sutt at 7:02 AM on June 15, 2017 [4 favorites]

Let's see... Match.com.... Likes cats... Oh nice, I like cats! Unique decorating style... Hmm, well I have my quirks I guess... Let's give it a go....

*later, knocking at door*

Hello? Kitty? Are you there?

*GIANT CAT HEAD LOOMS OUT OF DARKNESS*

--CUT TO BLACK--
posted by Kafkaesque at 10:21 AM on June 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

Okay, now someone make a dog version!
posted by Room 641-A at 11:29 AM on June 15, 2017

This is my Powerball Dream Home, thank you.
posted by spinifex23 at 12:02 PM on June 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

Ok, I get the "loves cats" but why is it otherwise set up like a daycare? I guess they already moved out the human furniture, but if so, why leave all the cat trees? SO MANY CAT TREES.
posted by emjaybee at 12:12 PM on June 15, 2017 [2 favorites]