30. Attempt to tolerate meta-humour

June 22, 2017 11:42 AM

The latest from exurb1a (previously) is a list of pithy Instructions for a Happy Life [voiceover, captions, loud music during credits].
posted by Johnny Wallflower (22 comments total)

well, certainly... floss.
posted by twidget at 11:51 AM on June 22, 2017

Wait. I like jokes on the Blue.

(That's metahumor, right?)
posted by Samizdata at 12:17 PM on June 22, 2017

Except there’s little proof that flossing works.
posted by Hot Pastrami! at 12:54 PM on June 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

that study failed to demonstrate that flossing provides a health benefit. this does NOT mean that flossing does not provide a health benefit. its merely an ineffable one, about which you should trust your dentist and have faith: floss!
posted by supermedusa at 1:01 PM on June 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

(I have achieved 'floss regularly' and I'm not gonna let you tell me that is of no value!)
posted by supermedusa at 1:02 PM on June 22, 2017 [4 favorites]

Okay, he lost me on "Read Ray Bradbury" because, after seeing him on stage at a 1984 animation festival 'interviewing' his friend Chuck "Duck Amuck" Jones, I read a lot of Bradbury, including his 1985 book "Death Is a Lonely Business" as soon as it came out. It was not a pleasant experience (an attempt at noir mystery with young Bradbury himself as a main character), and scared me away from The Ray Bradbury Theater TV series for many years because he himself appeared in it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:12 PM on June 22, 2017

I love the jumps from happy to sad/grim and back again as he works through the list.

(Plus the gaming references I agree with and are a pleasant attention grabber if you are wandering at that point.)
posted by Samizdata at 1:16 PM on June 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

Never flossed in my life. Not going to start now that there's no demonstrable benefit. Teeth absolutely fine as far as my dentist can tell. Eight glasses of water a day is basically nonsense too, despite what many doctors will tell you. Brush your teeth twice a day and drink when you're thirsty.
posted by pipeski at 1:48 PM on June 22, 2017

I was pretty much following along until fucking George Lucas.
posted by idiopath at 1:56 PM on June 22, 2017 [2 favorites]

Since I've made flossing a daily habit my cleaning sessions at the dentist have shortened in length by about 2/3.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 1:56 PM on June 22, 2017 [4 favorites]

Brush the shit out of your teeth. Like seriously, brush until they feel smooth and you don't have shit stuck in them. My dentist says I have 'boring' teeth, which is the highest compliment I can think of.

Also, grow up in an area where they fluoridate the water (I'm looking at you, Portland fucking Oregon).
posted by tmt at 2:01 PM on June 22, 2017 [2 favorites]

Eight glasses of water a day is basically nonsense too

Indeed.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:15 PM on June 22, 2017

Wait, we're supposed to fuck George Lucas now? What conceivable health benefits could there be
posted by Pallas Athena at 4:36 PM on June 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

Ardbeg Ten is certainly worth the money. I can agree with him there.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:42 PM on June 22, 2017

It was not a pleasant experience

aww, but... I quite liked Death Is a Lonely Business...
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 5:22 PM on June 22, 2017

Ardbeg Ten is certainly worth the money. I can agree with him there.
posted by Navelgazer at 19:42 on June 22 [+] [!]
No it's not not even as biofuel it's also the worst mouthwash ever you ever wake up in the morning with swampier breath
posted by herrdoktor at 5:24 PM on June 22, 2017

No.
posted by herrdoktor at 5:25 PM on June 22, 2017

Perhaps the problem is that apparently you're trying to use it as mouthwash.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:30 PM on June 22, 2017

Expensive liquor is for tourists. You won't notice the difference after the first drink, and you won't remember the difference after the sixth. Until you check your bank account.
posted by adept256 at 6:37 PM on June 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

Brush the shit out of your teeth.

No! Brush Softly, or don't actually 'brush' at all, just set your Sonicare right at the gum line.

Hard brushing causes gums to recede.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:56 PM on June 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

That's why I never brush mine at all!
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:58 PM on June 22, 2017

herrdoktor we may find ourselves in disagreement.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:11 PM on June 23, 2017