I never knew I could miss a hand this much.
July 27, 2017 11:45 AM Subscribe
This is terrible.
posted by Catblack at 12:02 PM on July 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Catblack at 12:02 PM on July 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
This is terrible.
“It's not.”
*Ron Howard's voice*
posted by Fizz at 12:02 PM on July 27, 2017 [15 favorites]
“It's not.”
*Ron Howard's voice*
posted by Fizz at 12:02 PM on July 27, 2017 [15 favorites]
I thought it was, and I also think pretty poorly of Howard's last few films. If this is the Lucasfilm publicity machine's attempt at showing us the Han Solo film is in capable hands, then I feel the attempt falls flat on it's face. Maybe it's just that the jokes are terrible though.
posted by Catblack at 12:09 PM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Catblack at 12:09 PM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
I've got a good feeling about this!
posted by blue_beetle at 12:09 PM on July 27, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by blue_beetle at 12:09 PM on July 27, 2017 [6 favorites]
Yes, this internet parody video is definitely a solid indication of what a yet-to-be-released blockbuster film will be like.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:13 PM on July 27, 2017 [24 favorites]
posted by tobascodagama at 12:13 PM on July 27, 2017 [24 favorites]
Give it a hand!
Heyyyyoooo ...
Now what I'd pay money to watch is a multi-part retelling of Star Wars Ken Burns-stylee with some hot David McCullough narration. Unfortunately, Shelby Foote isn't around any more to say "Down heah we call the Lawd of the Sith "Old Man."
posted by octobersurprise at 12:16 PM on July 27, 2017 [12 favorites]
Heyyyyoooo ...
Now what I'd pay money to watch is a multi-part retelling of Star Wars Ken Burns-stylee with some hot David McCullough narration. Unfortunately, Shelby Foote isn't around any more to say "Down heah we call the Lawd of the Sith "Old Man."
posted by octobersurprise at 12:16 PM on July 27, 2017 [12 favorites]
Maybe it's just that the jokes are terrible
"The jokes were pretty good."
*Ron Howard's voice again*
posted by Shepherd at 12:17 PM on July 27, 2017 [8 favorites]
"The jokes were pretty good."
*Ron Howard's voice again*
posted by Shepherd at 12:17 PM on July 27, 2017 [8 favorites]
Right off the bat:
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:23 PM on July 27, 2017 [19 favorites]
Han Solo — "You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?"Nerdist they may be, but obviously not Grammar Nerdist.
Narrator — "He didn't."
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:23 PM on July 27, 2017 [19 favorites]
That voiceover put me in mind of Tony Shaloub in "The Man Who Wasn't There".
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 12:24 PM on July 27, 2017
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 12:24 PM on July 27, 2017
They missed the perfect opportunity to drop a "that's why you ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE!" into the Luke/Vader duel on Bespin.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:26 PM on July 27, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:26 PM on July 27, 2017 [13 favorites]
Ron Howard Narrates Star Wars
"He didn't."
posted by leotrotsky at 12:26 PM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
"He didn't."
posted by leotrotsky at 12:26 PM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
The J. Walter Weatherman reference was perfect!
posted by little onion at 12:28 PM on July 27, 2017
posted by little onion at 12:28 PM on July 27, 2017
Ben Kenobi: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Werner Herzog voiceover: Do you not then hear this horrible scream all around you that people usually call silence?
He did.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:50 PM on July 27, 2017 [10 favorites]
Werner Herzog voiceover: Do you not then hear this horrible scream all around you that people usually call silence?
He did.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:50 PM on July 27, 2017 [10 favorites]
If this is the Lucasfilm publicity machine's attempt
"It's not."
posted by CaseyB at 12:51 PM on July 27, 2017 [7 favorites]
"It's not."
posted by CaseyB at 12:51 PM on July 27, 2017 [7 favorites]
I'd rather hear Daniel Stern doing Phantom Menace a la The Wonder Years.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:11 PM on July 27, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:11 PM on July 27, 2017 [4 favorites]
Yeah, I think this needed to be just a couple some scenes with voiceovers. They were kind of going on top of each other too fast, and the narration one-liners of AD became such a recognizable part of the show because it often appeared out of nowhere with great effect.
I'd probably re-watch the prequels if it had Ron Howard narrating the terrible decisions of all characters AD-style along the way. Because between the Bluths and the Prequels, it's hard to say who made more huge mistakes.
posted by lmfsilva at 2:54 PM on July 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'd probably re-watch the prequels if it had Ron Howard narrating the terrible decisions of all characters AD-style along the way. Because between the Bluths and the Prequels, it's hard to say who made more huge mistakes.
posted by lmfsilva at 2:54 PM on July 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
They were kind of going on top of each other too fast, and the narration one-liners of AD became such a recognizable part of the show because it often appeared out of nowhere with great effect.
Especially when the publicist calls George-Michael "Opie" and the narrator pops in with "Jessie had gone too far, and had best watch her mouth."
posted by Navelgazer at 3:23 PM on July 27, 2017 [8 favorites]
Especially when the publicist calls George-Michael "Opie" and the narrator pops in with "Jessie had gone too far, and had best watch her mouth."
posted by Navelgazer at 3:23 PM on July 27, 2017 [8 favorites]
"To an AT-AT I must go."
posted by New Frontier at 3:30 PM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by New Frontier at 3:30 PM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
Worth it just for Hey hermano!
posted by Room 641-A at 4:02 PM on July 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Room 641-A at 4:02 PM on July 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
Great idea, mediocre execution. Do this again with an editor who has good comic timing, and it'd be much funnier.
posted by Frayed Knot at 4:26 PM on July 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Frayed Knot at 4:26 PM on July 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
OK, so, since this is me, here is a long-form autobiographic story that is unexpectedly emotional.
Ron Howard has a secret mentor. A template upon which he could overlay the perfect script, and allow his voice to settle into it. This mentor once was on-camera with Bill Clinton in a dramatic role.
Earlier.
I have a daughter who will be going into the second grade this year, and she does not like cartoons. She loves sitcoms. She loves watching actual people in funny situations. She binges everything Disney and Nick release to Netflix or Amazon resembling a sitcom... repeat binges! "Bunk'd" is her current favorite, as she is going to Day Camp this year. Also "Fuller House" is on permanent repeat.
I have a two season DVD set of a Nickelodeon show from the '90s, that was live action and not a cartoon and had amazing characters and acting and plots and character development. The episode we watched tonight involved a professional underwear inspector and barbecue chicken and a logical paradox Rod Serling and Gene Roddenberry would both nod sagely at.
There was wailing and resistance, fierce and ferocious, until... she beheld the Strongest Man in the World, defeated by an evil bowling ball! After hours of ceaseless struggle!
Since then, we agree to watch one episode a night. And we talk about it after it's over and she gets ready for bed.
And now you are reading this in the voice of Mike Maronna, the older Pete. And while we're at it, you're now hearing it in the same cadence and tone, from a more famous Narrator who won some oscars. You know. Plural. Just not for narrating...
"SHUT UP, BLOW-HOLE! No Pete-Copycats on MY watch!"
And yet there was, at least one. But now said copycat's cover was blown.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:01 PM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
Ron Howard has a secret mentor. A template upon which he could overlay the perfect script, and allow his voice to settle into it. This mentor once was on-camera with Bill Clinton in a dramatic role.
Earlier.
I have a daughter who will be going into the second grade this year, and she does not like cartoons. She loves sitcoms. She loves watching actual people in funny situations. She binges everything Disney and Nick release to Netflix or Amazon resembling a sitcom... repeat binges! "Bunk'd" is her current favorite, as she is going to Day Camp this year. Also "Fuller House" is on permanent repeat.
I have a two season DVD set of a Nickelodeon show from the '90s, that was live action and not a cartoon and had amazing characters and acting and plots and character development. The episode we watched tonight involved a professional underwear inspector and barbecue chicken and a logical paradox Rod Serling and Gene Roddenberry would both nod sagely at.
There was wailing and resistance, fierce and ferocious, until... she beheld the Strongest Man in the World, defeated by an evil bowling ball! After hours of ceaseless struggle!
Since then, we agree to watch one episode a night. And we talk about it after it's over and she gets ready for bed.
And now you are reading this in the voice of Mike Maronna, the older Pete. And while we're at it, you're now hearing it in the same cadence and tone, from a more famous Narrator who won some oscars. You know. Plural. Just not for narrating...
"SHUT UP, BLOW-HOLE! No Pete-Copycats on MY watch!"
And yet there was, at least one. But now said copycat's cover was blown.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:01 PM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
Forrest: (voice-over) "Some years later, that nice young man from England was on his way home to see his little boy and was signing some autographs. For no particular reason at all, somebody shot him."
posted by clavdivs at 8:04 PM on July 27, 2017
posted by clavdivs at 8:04 PM on July 27, 2017
They really blue that one.
posted by not_on_display at 12:30 AM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by not_on_display at 12:30 AM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
It seems to develop a better rhythm towards the end... but it doesn't really work.
I thought what was more interesting is that it really exhibited just how corny and ham-fisted the original performances were! Jesus Han Solo is really OTT in a way I hadn't noticed as a kid.
There is a real farcical Benny Hill quality to a lot of the scenes that doesn't really come to mind so immediately in my memories of the early Star Wars films.
posted by mary8nne at 1:25 AM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
I thought what was more interesting is that it really exhibited just how corny and ham-fisted the original performances were! Jesus Han Solo is really OTT in a way I hadn't noticed as a kid.
There is a real farcical Benny Hill quality to a lot of the scenes that doesn't really come to mind so immediately in my memories of the early Star Wars films.
posted by mary8nne at 1:25 AM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
Yes, one thing I gleaned from a recent re-watch of the original trilogy was the realization that 'cool' Han Solo is really only prominent in Empire.
In Star Wars, Harrison Ford was mostly hamming it up, no doubt thinking it was a one-and-done piece of sci-fi schlock that nobody would remember in five years. And then with Jedi, he was unhappy with his character's story arc in the script, so he pretty much half-assed his way through the entire movie.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:51 AM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
In Star Wars, Harrison Ford was mostly hamming it up, no doubt thinking it was a one-and-done piece of sci-fi schlock that nobody would remember in five years. And then with Jedi, he was unhappy with his character's story arc in the script, so he pretty much half-assed his way through the entire movie.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:51 AM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
I liked it. Better pacing would've made for a better result, but it still made me laugh.
There is a real farcical Benny Hill quality to a lot of the scenes
Yeah. I rewatched the originals some years back to see how they stacked up against the prequels, like 'are the prequels really that much worse?' and I was struck by how corny the originals were. Replacing the music in this piece really accentuates it, but it was always there. (All the same, the answer to my question was still 'mostly yes.')
posted by mordax at 10:09 AM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
There is a real farcical Benny Hill quality to a lot of the scenes
Yeah. I rewatched the originals some years back to see how they stacked up against the prequels, like 'are the prequels really that much worse?' and I was struck by how corny the originals were. Replacing the music in this piece really accentuates it, but it was always there. (All the same, the answer to my question was still 'mostly yes.')
posted by mordax at 10:09 AM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
The biggest problem with the prequels was not being more or less corny than the originals, it was being a fruitless attempt to give some Dune-like political machinations to the series while trying to be the same goofy space fantasy adventure while trying to be a merchandising machine while trying to expand the backstory of one of the most iconic movie villains while trying to set a new standard for CGI and probably a few more whiles.
It was juggling far too many things at the same time, and most of it splatted on the floor.
posted by lmfsilva at 10:39 AM on July 28, 2017 [3 favorites]
It was juggling far too many things at the same time, and most of it splatted on the floor.
posted by lmfsilva at 10:39 AM on July 28, 2017 [3 favorites]
it was being a fruitless attempt to give some Dune-like political machinations to the series while trying to be the same goofy space fantasy adventure while trying to be a merchandising machine while trying to expand the backstory of one of the most iconic movie villains while trying to set a new standard for CGI and probably a few more whiles.
Journal of the Whiles.
posted by radwolf76 at 11:08 AM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
Journal of the Whiles.
posted by radwolf76 at 11:08 AM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]
splatted on the floor
That's...that's genius. Wait, wait, wait wait wait. What if Rasta Rabbit stepped in it?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 8:16 PM on July 31, 2017
That's...that's genius. Wait, wait, wait wait wait. What if Rasta Rabbit stepped in it?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 8:16 PM on July 31, 2017
« Older Remembering friends and neighbors | Wally G: Sea of Greed Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Sys Rq at 11:53 AM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]