The cheese stands alone

January 25, 2018 3:51 PM

The Sad Demise of a Village Cheese-Rolling Competition: For over 50 years, the villagers of Stilton, in Great Britain’s Cambridgeshire, have come together on May Day for a competition as cheesy as it is charming. But after months of discussion, the annual cheese-rolling competition is cancelled, organizers said in a Facebook post. They cited a lack of interest, rising costs for staging the event, and public drunkenness as some of the reasons for the cancellation. The demise of another cheese-rolling competition, previously.
posted by mandolin conspiracy (33 comments total)

[paging Wordshore for comment]
posted by brainwane at 3:53 PM on January 25, 2018 [13 favorites]

What is this world coming to! Cheese isn't going to roll itself, people!
posted by Catblack at 3:53 PM on January 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

No! I've been training for years for it!
posted by Ashwagandha at 3:55 PM on January 25, 2018 [2 favorites]

Aw, they bleu it.
posted by batter_my_heart at 4:00 PM on January 25, 2018 [7 favorites]

Confusingly, no Stilton cheese is actually made in Stilton. Under European Union law, no one is permitted to produce the famous blue cheese there, though it’s almost certainly where it originated. In 1996, Stilton manufacturers in nearby counties Derbyshire, Leicestershire, and Nottinghamshire applied for, and received, “protected designation of origin,” leaving the Cambridgeshire town out in the cold. Attempts from the local Stilton Parish to amend the ruling have fallen on deaf ears.

This is the best argument for Brexit I have yet seen.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 4:00 PM on January 25, 2018 [15 favorites]

.
posted by supermedusa at 4:03 PM on January 25, 2018

I bought a great hunk of potent Stilton for a cheese board on Christmas and nobody ate it, so I’ve been working my way through it ever since. My wife complains about the smell every time I take it out.

Also any event that attracts a crowd ultimately devolves into an excuse for public drunkenness. If you start cancelling things because of drunkenness there won’t be anything left to do.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:07 PM on January 25, 2018 [8 favorites]

This is the best argument for Brexit I have yet seen.

And, like so many "best arguments for Brexit", it's highly dubious on closer inspection.

Stilton cheese, a unique product known and respected worldwide, has been made in the three counties of Leicestershire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire for generations. The cheese became known as Stilton because it was at the Bell Inn in this village that the cheese was first sold to the public.

It wasn't first made there, it was first sold there.
posted by rory at 4:11 PM on January 25, 2018 [23 favorites]

What, no 'elf and safety gorn maad'? The press will be gutted.

Having as I do the majority of the nation's Stilton producers almost within walking distance, I'm not terribly fussed about what's going on in Cambridgeshire. Plenty of better things to do with a Stilton. I suppose rolling one home might at least bring it up to a good sweaty temperature though.
posted by pipeski at 4:13 PM on January 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

This is the best argument for Brexit I have yet seen.

I'm not convinced that's correct. Stilton cheese was, I believe, first marketed from Stilton, but was actually originally a Leicestershire cheese. As Stilton isn't in Derbyshire, Leicestershire or Nottinghamshire it's not in the traditional region of manufacture, and I don’t believe that anyone was manufacturing Stilton there when the PDO status was granted. The whole point of PDO status is to protect the manufacturer of regional produce; it would undermine the scheme to grant status based upon an accident of history rather than the actual patterns of industry and regional distinctiveness.
posted by howfar at 4:13 PM on January 25, 2018 [8 favorites]

The fact that this want not posted by Wordshore leads me to believe that the apocalypse is nigh.
posted by soren_lorensen at 4:20 PM on January 25, 2018 [11 favorites]

Actually, I think that (jocular rather than serious, I think, so this isn't meant as a personal dig) comment is a good illustration of what some people (i.e. me) are naming (i.e. literally just making this bullshit up now) the Europhobe's fallacy: the belief that if you don't understand an EU policy, it's always because they're crazy and never because you don't know enough about it.
posted by howfar at 4:21 PM on January 25, 2018 [16 favorites]

Quelle frommage.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:23 PM on January 25, 2018 [8 favorites]

The fact that this want not posted by Wordshore

I can assure you I was utterly gobsmacked to have uncovered this state of affairs.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:48 PM on January 25, 2018 [5 favorites]

Other English people, cheese experts and fromage connoisseurs are available. Any cheese presented in this comment is solely that of the commenter and do not necessarily represent those cheeses of MetaFilter. The value of your cheese may go down as well as up. The recipient should check this post and any comments for the presence of cheese. MeFites enter the delicatessen at their own risk. All creamy rights to the cheeses belong to their original creator. If you have received this cheese in error please notify the duty MetaFilter moderator immediately. Side effects of cheese include posting, commenting and other online tomfoolery.
posted by Wordshore at 5:24 PM on January 25, 2018 [24 favorites]

Small tags are why we can’t have cheese rolling anymore.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:32 PM on January 25, 2018 [7 favorites]

Wordshore is undoubtedly concerned that posting too many cheese-related links would put the local constabulary on the käse.
posted by mwhybark at 5:38 PM on January 25, 2018 [6 favorites]

Next they'll be outlawing ferret-legging!
posted by BlueHorse at 6:07 PM on January 25, 2018 [5 favorites]

howfar: "Stilton cheese was, I believe, first marketed from Stilton, but was actually originally a Leicestershire cheese."

This does seem to be the standard line presented by the counties currently protected, but Wikipedia would have you believe that in the 18th century at least some Stilton cheese was in fact produced in Stilton. Here is the key quotation from the 1726 A general treatise of husbandry & gardening by Richard Bradley:

Stilton is in Lincolnshire in the Coach Road to Lincoln from London, where at the Sign of the Bell is much the best Cheese in Town; the Man of that House keeping strictly to the old Receipt, while others thereabouts seem to leave out a great part of the Cream which is the chief Ingredient; but for all this the Name this sort of Cheese has got above others makes it sell for 12d per Pound upon the Spot.

To me it seems more likely that Stilton cheese was in fact first produced in Stilton, and then later disputed, rather than the cheese being associated with the town through a rather slender connection.
posted by crazy with stars at 6:08 PM on January 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

To me it seems more likely that Stilton cheese was in fact first produced in Stilton, and then later disputed, rather than the cheese being associated with the town through a rather slender connection.

So...

Certainly uncontaminated by cheese?
posted by Celsius1414 at 6:17 PM on January 25, 2018 [7 favorites]

I bought a great hunk of potent Stilton for a cheese board on Christmas and nobody ate it

Leave your family, take the cheese.
posted by DangerIsMyMiddleName at 6:27 PM on January 25, 2018 [7 favorites]

The best Stilton I've ever had was at the pub in the UK pavilion at EPCOT.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:59 PM on January 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

True Stilton was made with unpasteurised milk, but thanks to Health and Safety gone mad, the EU, and that, you can now only sell the crumbly pasteurised version; for a hint of the original glory you have to buy Stichelton.
posted by Segundus at 11:03 PM on January 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

Of course there is evidence of cheese made in Stilton from early on, but you must remember that ‘Cheese of Stilton Stilton Cheese ne’er wert’.
posted by Segundus at 11:07 PM on January 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

Now I want some Stichelton. To the cheesemonger!
posted by rory at 1:51 AM on January 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

I bought a great hunk of potent Stilton for a cheese board on Christmas and nobody ate it

When I'm the only person eating the blue cheese on the cheeseboard I can never decide whether I feel more delighted to have it all to myself, or sad at others missing out in its rapturous glory. It is both sweet and sour, much like the best blues.
posted by greenish at 3:28 AM on January 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

I recently went to the Straw Bear festival, which is something like two villages over from Stilton, and even though it was a cold and damp January event, it was packed. Also there was lots of pub-sponsored events (it's a morris dancing thing, after all) and they somehow seemed to keep on top of public drinking.

What's probably happening in Stilton is gentrification; Cambridgeshire is one of the most expensive places to live in the UK outside of London. Older people often retire to the villages around the major areas, and London commuters have adopted places like Peterborough along the train line to escape paying such enormous train fares. So, whereas a few decades ago the villages were fairly normal places, now they're often enclaves of much older, conservative types. I'm not surprised a village full of harumphing retired people doesn't want to have fun, but anyone inclined can always drive the 23 minutes to Whittlesea and watch a man dressed entirely in Straw dance with some swords.
posted by The River Ivel at 4:33 AM on January 26, 2018 [6 favorites]

for a hint of the original glory you have to buy Stichelton.

Came here to make sure Stichelton got its due. IT'S SO GOOD.
posted by desuetude at 7:25 AM on January 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Stichelton

I didn't know this was a thing. This is exciting.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:37 AM on January 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

I have to say that there's a fair old difference between a cheese rolling contest in Cambridgeshire and one in the Cotswolds. Like the difference between a round the world ocean race and catching the ferry to Isle of Wight.
posted by ambrosen at 10:32 AM on January 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

Next they'll try to shut down the burning tar barrels at Ottery St Mary! Yes, that's a real thing, and it's just as amazing as you'd imagine
posted by JenThePro at 2:49 PM on January 26, 2018 [3 favorites]

The Cooper's Hill one (in "previously" link) seems to have un-demised itself, at least in 2016.
posted by paduasoy at 12:12 PM on January 27, 2018

Question mark placed over future of ancient Haxey Hood tradition

This is one of those traditional football games that's basically a mass brawl*. It's between four pubs - one of which has already shut through lack of trade and another is in danger of being demolished to make way for houses

*Someone I know went to watch - not take part, just watch - another: Hallaton Bottle Kicking. They came away with a broken arm. Made me proud to be an East Midlander (though I'm not a v good East Midlander as I don't like Stilton - just tastes like mold to me)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:47 AM on February 3, 2018