Pizza pizza!

October 8, 2018 6:53 PM

Little Caesars Is 'Investigating' After Location Allegedly Caught Selling DiGiorno Frozen Pizza
posted by Literaryhero (49 comments total)

So it's not delivery?
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:59 PM on October 8, 2018 [36 favorites]

If a pizza joint story doesn't even involve child trafficking it's more a "controversy" than a controversy.

UPDATE: The representative for Little Caesars tells PEOPLE that upon further investigation, the person in the video was identified as a Kmart employee and “no DiGiorno pizzas were baked or served at this Little Caesars location,” they said in a statement. “On that day, K-Mart received a few complaints from customers about having purchased expired DiGiorno pizzas from that location, and because it was so close to closing time, the K-Mart manager directed his employee to temporarily store them in a cooler adjacent to the Little Caesars location for disposal in the morning.”

letterman-whaaat.mp3. The cover-up is always worse than the crime, you dummies.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 7:12 PM on October 8, 2018 [2 favorites]

I can't tell if this is an ad for DiGiorno, Kmart, or Little Caesars. Or hell, Chrissy Teigen. Doesn't she have some sort line of clothing at Kmart for sale or something?
posted by NoMich at 7:36 PM on October 8, 2018 [5 favorites]

I mean, isn't Little Caesar's *cheaper* than DiGiorno?
posted by tclark at 8:16 PM on October 8, 2018 [20 favorites]

I'll take Papa Murphy's, thanks. Or better yet, something local and fresh :)
posted by Alensin at 8:17 PM on October 8, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gArU-BAO7Kw
posted by DougieGee at 8:19 PM on October 8, 2018

Well DiGiorno, I guess it was delivery, afterall.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 8:27 PM on October 8, 2018

Stolen from a Twitter meme:
"Little Caesar's Pizza! It's FAST and CHEAP."
"Does it taste good?"
"It's FAST and CHEAP."
posted by Brocktoon at 8:41 PM on October 8, 2018 [18 favorites]

There's a McDonalds a few towns over from me that, after a certain point in the evening, becomes "cash only" and it's hit-or-miss what items they'll have and what they're out of. I don't know how they get away with it, since it's in no way subtle, but they're pretty transparently running a Shenzhen-style "third shift", selling off stuff that's presumably either going to be thrown out, or stuff that didn't get inventoried, or whatever, under the table.

This sounds like what happened at the K-Mart. There were a bunch of pizzas that were expired and thus no longer in inventory (someone could log them as destroyed), and there was a counter where people show up to pay money for pizza. Supply, meet demand. Free market at work, people.
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:48 PM on October 8, 2018 [22 favorites]

but they're pretty transparently running a Shenzhen-style "third shift"

There's a Mediterranean place up here that had signs on the doors saying it'd be closed for an entire month. We figure the owners were going to be out of town. But as it turns out they never end up closing... Except it magically became cash only, the signs saying to come back next month were still up, and they kept answering the phone saying that they were closed...
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 9:02 PM on October 8, 2018 [7 favorites]

"...because it was so close to closing time, the K-Mart manager directed his employee to temporarily store them in a cooler adjacent to the Little Caesars location for disposal in the morning.”

translation:

"these pizzas are fine past the expiration date, they're frozen for chrissakes! I'll take them home, don't throw them out. Go see if Little Caeser has room in their freezer until my shift's over"
posted by Jon_Evil at 9:30 PM on October 8, 2018 [24 favorites]

I'm with Ms. Teigen. I once ate Little Caesar's in 1989. It was the second-worst pizza I have ever tasted.
posted by bryon at 10:33 PM on October 8, 2018

It's not about the pizza at Little Caesar's. It's all about that Crazy Bread!

If our group decides to pick up some Little Caesar's, I always get a bag of that crazy bread for myself and eat that instead of the gross pizza.
posted by LizBoBiz at 3:42 AM on October 9, 2018 [3 favorites]

Yeah but that Crazy Bread right? Delish.
posted by ian1977 at 3:52 AM on October 9, 2018

Wait, is Little Caesers run by a despicable republican too?
posted by ian1977 at 3:53 AM on October 9, 2018

There's good pizza, there's bad good pizza, there's bad pizza, and there's good bad pizza. The first two categories are populated mostly by nominally "authentic Italian" pizza shops that either fulfill their premise or half-ass it (most half-ass it, usually without realizing they are). The latter two categories are dominated by the innumerable New York style or doughy "Detroit" style shops; places like Papa Johns and Domino's are simply bad, and while a good bad New York style pizza manages to somehow be a pleasing, satisfying pizza, the gap between it and its merely-bad New Yorker relations is very thin.

I'd put Little Caesar's is in the good bad pizza category, because -- at least when the clerks are forgetful and put too much cheese on -- the pizzas manage to be flavorful without being cloying and are decent as fast-food meals go. (And I'll grant Domino's has improved in the past half-decade too, but they're still not in the good-bad slot yet.)

Anyway, I can't eat Little Caesar's any more because the local franchisee shut down all four of his shops one night, skipped town and hasn't been seen since.
posted by ardgedee at 4:48 AM on October 9, 2018 [2 favorites]

Wait, is Little Caesers run by a despicable republican too?

You're probably thinking Papa John's (or maybe Domino's). Here's Snopes looking into comparisons Papa John's and Little Caesers' founders. The Little Caesers founder seems alright.
posted by msbrauer at 4:51 AM on October 9, 2018

I *love* Little Ceasars, its pizza (especially the meaty ones), its crazy bread, tomato sauce, and its garlic butter dip. I also love its prices, which an unnecessariat like myself can afford without having to worry about the cost, all too rare these days.

If you don't like it, fine, but let other people like things you don't, please.
posted by KHAAAN! at 5:54 AM on October 9, 2018 [8 favorites]

I am ashamed to say that I am familiar enough with Little Caesars that I could differentiate it from DiGiorgo's in an instant. It's not bad, some of it's actually pretty good and the price can't be beat.
posted by charred husk at 5:56 AM on October 9, 2018

I miss their square pies.
posted by padraigin at 6:55 AM on October 9, 2018 [3 favorites]

If you don't like it, fine, but let other people like things you don't, please.

Clearly you have not read the MetaFilter by-laws thoroughly.
posted by briank at 7:32 AM on October 9, 2018 [12 favorites]

Yeah, when we still had a Little Caesars in the shopping district, I'd pick up a loaf every month or so. $5! It's cheaper than the hoity-toity self-rising frozen pizzas I'd have eaten instead, and the work is all done already! $5!

Is it any good? Hey, let's not get greedy now...
posted by Kyol at 7:36 AM on October 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

I miss their square pies.

Was that the greasy semi-deep pan square with the carmelized edges (aka Detroit Style)? Jet's seems to be the bearer of that torch now.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:38 AM on October 9, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'd put Little Caesar's in the good bad pizza category

Yup. Their pepperoni deep dish is good as hell. It usually gets a little burnt on the edges and it is just the right amount of greasy. Now I'm hungry.

the local franchisee shut down all four of his shops one night, skipped town and hasn't been seen since

We've still got our location in Fuquay. It even got remodeled recently. Very classy looking.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:38 AM on October 9, 2018

If you're trying to work out how Little Caesar's fits in the Dominos/Papa John's/Pizza Hut moral hierarchy:

CNN: Little Caesars founder quietly paid Rosa Parks' rent for years
Shortly after her famed defiance of segregation sparked the Montgomery, Alabama, bus boycott, Parks moved to Detroit and became an important presence in the city for years afterward.

But in 1994, Parks was robbed and assaulted in her home at the age of 81.

[Damon Keith, a Detroit native and federal judge], himself an important legal figure in the civil rights movement, worked to find Parks a new, safer apartment at the Riverfront Apartments in Detroit, according to the Sports Business Daily.

[Mike Ilitch, the Little Caesars founder and Detroit Tigers owner] read the story in the newspaper and called Keith, offering to pay for Parks' housing indefinitely. With no fanfare, Ilitch continued paying for the apartment until Parks died in 2005, Keith said.

posted by orthicon halo at 8:22 AM on October 9, 2018 [25 favorites]

Yeah, Mike Ilitch seems to be a pretty decent dude, if we're picking favorite New Gilded Age industrialists. Big deal in Detroit, according to people I know from there. He bought and restored Fox Theatre when it was at risk of being demolished, and moved the Little Caesar's headquarters into the area at a time when other businesses were leaving. Also financed a big chunk of Comerica Park and moved the Tigers there (although I get the impression that's more controversial, since it resulted in Tiger Stadium being demolished).

The company's political contributions seem to lean a bit Republican but not exclusively so, and on first glance seems to probably be tactical and issues-driven rather than ideological.

If we're counting, I'm also a closet fan of "good bad pizza" and have a particular weakness for LC's pepperoni pan pizza, which for a long time was the only Detroit-style pizza you could get nationally. Pizza-style snobbery in general is pretty tiring. There's more to pizza than Neapolitan and New York pizza, and it's nice that other styles are finally getting some attention.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:24 AM on October 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

I think we could all probably live perfectly moral and upright lives without the "might this guy be problematic, after all, I read that there were some dudes in his industry who are" silliness. Sheesh. I'm not going to stan for any successful capitalist, but Ilitch was on the cleaner end of the spectrum and continued putting money into Detroit well before the newcomers showed up.
posted by praemunire at 9:26 AM on October 9, 2018 [2 favorites]

"There's good pizza, there's bad good pizza, there's bad pizza, and there's good bad pizza."

Disagree. Pizza is pizza is pizza. Pizza is like a hamburger, it is an immutable deliciousness to it. The worst pizza/burger on earth is exactly as delicious as the best pizza/burger anywhere. The food core is so good, it cannot be better or worse than the default level of perfection it will have by virtue of having been created at all. Cobbling together rocks, sticks, and mud into the mere shape of pizza will actually make those things at least halfway palatable.
posted by GoblinHoney at 9:32 AM on October 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

there's a certain outlet mall food court you need to visit, GoblinHoney
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:02 AM on October 9, 2018 [4 favorites]

Well, I would agree that there are conditions under which any pizza would taste like the best thing on earth. Everything is relative to how hungry you are.

I mean, the most ambrosial pizza I've ever eaten was probably one of those weird little individual pan pizzas from the Pizza Hut Express in the Louisville, Kentucky airport. Not because there was anything special about the pizza, but because it didn't say "Meal, Ready To Eat, Individual" on the side. That was all that was needed to peg the needle on the "food enjoyment" meter.

Also, on the topic of Pizza Hut, their pizza reheats almost suspiciously well. Most pizza cheese gets kinda... iffy... once you let it cool and then reheat it again, but whatever cheese Pizza Hut uses can survive that phase change over and over. Made into a slurry I bet you could use the stuff for some sort of refrigerant, or nuclear reactor coolant. I still love the stuff, though.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:56 AM on October 9, 2018 [2 favorites]

This Secretive Billionaire Makes The Cheese For Pizza Hut, Domino's And Papa John's (previously).
posted by asperity at 11:23 AM on October 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

Clearly you have not read the MetaFilter by-laws thoroughly.

Oh, I'm well aware of them, don't worry.

It's interesting to me what people say when the subject of food comes up. You'd think it wouldn't be all that controversial a topic. I mean, everybody has to eat something, sooner or later, right? Sort of a universal experience, like breathing air, or sleeping. Maybe a few minor disagreements over the value of certain tastes, textures, preparation, what have you, and that would be it. But no. Food is a loaded topic. Once you start talking about food preferences, it's amazing to me what else gets revealed. You don't don't even have to read between the lines all that closely, sometimes. You just have to listen, and people tell you. Vigorously.
posted by KHAAAN! at 11:29 AM on October 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

Food is a loaded topic. Once you start talking about food preferences, it's amazing to me what else gets revealed. You don't don't even have to read between the lines all that closely, sometimes. You just have to listen, and people tell you. Vigorously.

I think there is a LOT of classism, elistism, and regional pride inherent in the foods we prefer and, precisely because eating is such a universal experience, that's how we differentiate ourselves from or align ourselves with our "tribe" (which, human experience being what it is, has to be better than other "tribes").
posted by hanov3r at 11:44 AM on October 9, 2018 [3 favorites]

Pizza is pizza is pizza.

Pizza is like sex: it's always better the next morning, cold and greasy in a cardboard box.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:10 PM on October 9, 2018 [6 favorites]

The worst pizza/burger on earth is exactly as delicious as the best pizza/burger anywhere

This hypothesis is easily falsifiable with a quick visit to Sbarro's
posted by OrangeGloves at 1:43 PM on October 9, 2018 [3 favorites]

As a HS teenager I worked at a Little Caesars, and I ate a lot of that pizza, and lots of crazy bread.

I find unnerving is the price of the pizza hasn't changed much in the nearly 30 years I worked there and I rather not ponder the shortcuts necessary to keep that pizza cost down.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 1:45 PM on October 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

I find unnerving is the price of the pizza hasn't changed much in the nearly 30 years I worked there and I rather not ponder the shortcuts necessary to keep that pizza cost down.

It's still the same pizza as you made 30 years ago.

No. Not like that. Literally the same pizza.

You see, they tapped the greater Michigan Pizza Mines back in the '40s and weren't sure what to do with what they found, so it went into a giant warehouse down near Gary.

And yeah, I am a pizza universalist. _Even_ Sbarro, although I usually make some other even worse decision at the food court. (3lbs of bourbon chicken and rice? How can I say no?!?)
posted by Kyol at 3:00 PM on October 9, 2018 [4 favorites]

praemunire: I think we could all probably live perfectly moral and upright lives without the "might this guy be problematic, after all, I read that there were some dudes in his industry who are" silliness. Sheesh. I'm not going to stan for any successful capitalist, but Ilitch was on the cleaner end of the spectrum and continued putting money into Detroit well before the newcomers showed up.

Also, if you stand him next to Matty Moroun he basically looks like Jesus.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:34 PM on October 9, 2018 [2 favorites]

Also, if you stand him next to Matty Moroun he basically looks like Jesus.

That...is not a high bar.

As a preservationist working in the city, I give the Ilitches full credit for the rehab of the glorious Fox. Also as a preservationist working in the city, I note that it doesn't cancel out the subsequent devastation they've caused to some of Detroit's historic neighborhoods and many of its historic buildings, for not a lot of gain.

Cf. yesterday's feature in the Guardian: Big promises for a thriving urban core in Detroit vanish in a swath of parking lots
posted by Preserver at 4:44 PM on October 9, 2018 [2 favorites]

I bet you like Creed, too! And having more than one favorite color! Killjoy.
posted by Brocktoon at 9:15 PM on October 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

The only organized walkout I've ever participated in was when I was working for Little Caesar's in the late '80s. I was still in high school, so it was not a big risk for me personally, but that wasn't the case for everyone. ‪The people from corporate were always coming by during the busiest rushes to nitpick and yell at the staff and manager. One day they did this and we all walked, except like one guy who was basically a scab. It was Friday evening, busiest night of the week, bunch of suits working the line that night. It was glorious.
posted by krinklyfig at 11:29 PM on October 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

Somebody's gotta say it, "Your favorite pizza sucks!"
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:22 AM on October 10, 2018

and your little dog too...
posted by a humble nudibranch at 1:22 AM on October 10, 2018 [1 favorite]

Mike Illitch is a bit controversial in Detroit because the Comerica Park project was supposed to generate local jobs, but all the jobs are confined to within the ballpark itself.. or at least that's what I remember from my Save Detroit class at UM.

Also, he's probably the world's most famous Macedonian.
posted by subdee at 5:58 PM on October 10, 2018

What about Justinian I !!
posted by riruro at 6:27 PM on October 10, 2018 [2 favorites]

Disagree. Pizza is pizza is pizza. Pizza is like a hamburger, it is an immutable deliciousness to it. The worst pizza/burger on earth is exactly as delicious as the best pizza/burger anywhere. The food core is so good, it cannot be better or worse than the default level of perfection it will have by virtue of having been created at all. Cobbling together rocks, sticks, and mud into the mere shape of pizza will actually make those things at least halfway palatable.


Disagree wholeheartedly. You must have just been lucky so far. And I don't have fancy tastes, I can stuff myself at CiCi's and I'm ok with a McDonald's hamburger. But bad burgers and bad pizza exist in this world. But I guess if you're ok with sticks, rocks, and mud in a pizza shape then you've got a way lower bar than I do.
posted by LizBoBiz at 12:28 AM on October 11, 2018

bad pizza exist in this world.

I was unfortunate enough to have tried the Pizza Hut "Bigfoot" pizza back when they were trying to make that a thing. So I can readily attest to the not all pizza is good belief.
posted by gusottertrout at 4:33 AM on October 11, 2018

The Bigfoot was our traditional reward after a full day of road tripping. It must be consumed off a hotel table by exhausted people lying on a bed watching Nick at Night.

This is one of those unfathomable "I actually like White Castle burgers" irony/not irony things isn't it?
posted by gusottertrout at 5:57 AM on October 11, 2018

I actually do like White Castle burgers, but can confirm that the way to continue liking them is not to eat very many at once.
posted by asperity at 8:17 AM on October 11, 2018 [1 favorite]