chicken tender fender bender
January 29, 2019 8:27 AM Subscribe
As part of my Overturned Trucks beat, I encounter a story almost daily about some foodstuff or another spilling into a public roadway: mac ‘n’ cheese, beef roasts, Bagel Bites, you name it. But what distinguishes this week’s report of a chicken tenders spill in Cherokee County, Alabama, and makes it newsworthy in and of itself, is that the county’s Emergency Management Agency has had to issue a declaration: Do not eat those chicken tenders. (Kate Bernot, The Takeout)
“Read your town charter, boy. If foodstuffs should touch the ground, said foodstuffs shall be turned over to the village idiot. Since I don’t see him around, start shoveling!”
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:31 AM on January 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:31 AM on January 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
About 22 years ago, I ate a McD's McNugget left over night on the counter that had probably been in one of my kids hands for hours before being left out. It was the last McNugget I have or will ever eat. My stomach hurts just thinking about it.
Folks, do not eat those chicken tenders.
posted by AugustWest at 8:39 AM on January 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
Folks, do not eat those chicken tenders.
posted by AugustWest at 8:39 AM on January 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
I understand why people would be trying to eat the chicken tenders: chicken (like any meat) is expensive and (if you don't have a lot) breaded chicken is a treat. I would be tempted to take a box (or 2 or 3) home to my freezer, especially if I thought they were still frozen.
posted by jb at 8:40 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by jb at 8:40 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
rich enough to have a special nice space for your exercise bike = too rich
poor enough to need to scavenge from fast food truck wrecks = too poor
posted by thelonius at 8:41 AM on January 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
poor enough to need to scavenge from fast food truck wrecks = too poor
posted by thelonius at 8:41 AM on January 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
Dear AskMe....
posted by The Bellman at 8:47 AM on January 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by The Bellman at 8:47 AM on January 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
I don't know Cherokee County specifically, but I do know some other counties up and down the state line, and there are a lot of folks living in that area who would desperately, desperately want those chicken tenders to be edible. So my stomach churns a little thinking about the need for an emergency announcement not to eat the chicken.
I mean, at some level it's funny, but at another level it's really really not.
posted by telepanda at 8:49 AM on January 29, 2019 [21 favorites]
I mean, at some level it's funny, but at another level it's really really not.
posted by telepanda at 8:49 AM on January 29, 2019 [21 favorites]
I am sure that food safety is important. That said, I live in an area adjacent to several highways with lots of big rigs and hang out with the demographic who gets "things" from wrecker drivers. I have totally, 100% eaten food that fell off a truck when it wrecked. (Examples from the last five years: grapes, pineapples, lettuces, tubs of margerine, canned tomatoes.) Who wouldn't want like four free pineapples with NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM EXCEPT THAT THEY FELL ON THE GROUND? D'oh. The trucking company can't take them back. They need to be cleaned up from the roadway/roadside. A lot of them are decent, like, not bruised, broken open, covered in diesel fuel or anything else like that.
Meat can spoil at 'room' temp in an alarmingly short period of time. I am not OK with semi-truck-wreck meat. But veggies and fruits? Sure. They can live a day or so at ambient temp and still be OK to eat.
For what it's worth, I also eat stuff that the food bank can't place. (Persons getting food from the food bank are often not willing to take avocados or escarole or kiwi fruits even though they are free. I don't know why. But, when the food bank customers won't take strange produce, the food bank gifts the produce to my friend's father-in-law (he's a pastor) and thus I wind up with free, unusual produce that is "Eat Promptly Before It Goes Bad".)
posted by which_chick at 8:51 AM on January 29, 2019 [10 favorites]
Meat can spoil at 'room' temp in an alarmingly short period of time. I am not OK with semi-truck-wreck meat. But veggies and fruits? Sure. They can live a day or so at ambient temp and still be OK to eat.
For what it's worth, I also eat stuff that the food bank can't place. (Persons getting food from the food bank are often not willing to take avocados or escarole or kiwi fruits even though they are free. I don't know why. But, when the food bank customers won't take strange produce, the food bank gifts the produce to my friend's father-in-law (he's a pastor) and thus I wind up with free, unusual produce that is "Eat Promptly Before It Goes Bad".)
posted by which_chick at 8:51 AM on January 29, 2019 [10 favorites]
5 second rule!
posted by Fizz at 8:52 AM on January 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 8:52 AM on January 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
Has the temperature there gotten over 40F since the accident? Are they in the sun? If I scoop them up without stopping like the bounty hunter in Raising Arizona, would that still break the law about obstructing traffic?
posted by mattamatic at 8:54 AM on January 29, 2019
posted by mattamatic at 8:54 AM on January 29, 2019
grapes, pineapples, lettuces, tubs of margerine, canned tomatoes
How about 30,000 pounds of bananas?
posted by The Bellman at 8:54 AM on January 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
How about 30,000 pounds of bananas?
posted by The Bellman at 8:54 AM on January 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
Not enough pictures in this thread. Here's one of my own: Broccoli disaster on AR highway.
I did not eat it
posted by pjenks at 9:01 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
I did not eat it
posted by pjenks at 9:01 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
TRADE THEM FOR GOODS AND SERVICES. THEY'RE TOTALLY LEGAL TENDERS.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:03 AM on January 29, 2019 [35 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:03 AM on January 29, 2019 [35 favorites]
Eat 'em.
Don't eat 'em.
But whatever you do, please never refer to them as 'tendies.'
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:17 AM on January 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
Don't eat 'em.
But whatever you do, please never refer to them as 'tendies.'
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:17 AM on January 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
Grumble grumble...
Don't want us eatin' them highway tenders
...grumble grumble.
(Random Alabama dude.)
Possum ambles by.
posted by metagnathous at 9:33 AM on January 29, 2019
Don't want us eatin' them highway tenders
...grumble grumble.
(Random Alabama dude.)
Possum ambles by.
posted by metagnathous at 9:33 AM on January 29, 2019
I'm sure that someone would try to gather them up and sell them...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... A chicken tender fender bender vendor.
posted by Philofacts at 9:36 AM on January 29, 2019 [38 favorites]
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... A chicken tender fender bender vendor.
posted by Philofacts at 9:36 AM on January 29, 2019 [38 favorites]
Return to sender.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:37 AM on January 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:37 AM on January 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
shut down the thread, guys. Philofacts took it too far.
posted by es_de_bah at 9:51 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by es_de_bah at 9:51 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
Would you like a dipping sauce with your tenders? Please choose from the following options:
1. Tangy BBQ Gravel Sauce
2. Signature Cigarette Butt Sauce
3. Sweet 'n Sour 'n Some Other Flavor We Can't Quite Place Sauce
4. Hot Mustard Smear
5. Honey Boo Boo Mustard
6. Habanernothanx Ranch
7. Creamy Branch
8. Spicy Buffalo Amoeba Sauce
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:54 AM on January 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
1. Tangy BBQ Gravel Sauce
2. Signature Cigarette Butt Sauce
3. Sweet 'n Sour 'n Some Other Flavor We Can't Quite Place Sauce
4. Hot Mustard Smear
5. Honey Boo Boo Mustard
6. Habanernothanx Ranch
7. Creamy Branch
8. Spicy Buffalo Amoeba Sauce
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:54 AM on January 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
I have totally, 100% eaten food that fell off a truck when it wrecked.
Your mileage my vary...
posted by Fizz at 10:07 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
Your mileage my vary...
posted by Fizz at 10:07 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
rich enough to have a special nice space for your exercise bike = too rich
poor enough to need to scavenge from fast food truck wrecks = too poor
I had to move the Peloton to the breakfast nook to make room for all these crates of scavenged chicken tenders. My wife complains that the smell is disturbing her daily sunrise meditation, but I've put my proverbial foot down, and will hear no more of it. God knows I've suffered through my own share of noxious odors, from those dreadful Ayurveda fertility cleanses.
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:14 AM on January 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
poor enough to need to scavenge from fast food truck wrecks = too poor
I had to move the Peloton to the breakfast nook to make room for all these crates of scavenged chicken tenders. My wife complains that the smell is disturbing her daily sunrise meditation, but I've put my proverbial foot down, and will hear no more of it. God knows I've suffered through my own share of noxious odors, from those dreadful Ayurveda fertility cleanses.
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:14 AM on January 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
Truck Carrying 7,000 Pounds Of (formerly) Live Lobster Crashes In Maine
posted by theora55 at 10:14 AM on January 29, 2019
posted by theora55 at 10:14 AM on January 29, 2019
Don't forget the goat cheese fire: In January 2013, a lorry carrying 27 tonnes of brunost caught fire in the 3.5 km (2.2 mi) long Bratli tunnel in Tysfjord. The temperature increased so much that the Brunost caught fire, the fats and sugars in the cheese fuelling the blaze, making firefighters unable to approach it until four days later, when most of it had burned out.
posted by sjswitzer at 10:37 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by sjswitzer at 10:37 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
four day creme brulee melee
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:44 AM on January 29, 2019 [15 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:44 AM on January 29, 2019 [15 favorites]
Remember, kids, "If it's blue, it's not for you."
Dead chickens spill onto road in front of church after Greenwood crash
Dead chickens were scattered across the parking lot of the House of Praise For All People church outside Greenwood Saturday after an SUV and livestock truck collided at the nearby intersection.
The driver of the truck was trapped in his vehicle after the crash, according to the Greenwood Volunteer Fire Company.
Both drivers were taken to Milford Memorial Hospital with non-life-threatening injuries, reported WMDT 47.
The truck driver works for Valley Proteins, according to his Facebook page. The company disposes of animal waste for slaughterhouses, poultry companies, restaurants and supermarkets.
The chickens were already dead and had been dyed blue. They were being taken to a local rendering plant, according to comments on Facebook.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:59 AM on January 29, 2019
Dead chickens spill onto road in front of church after Greenwood crash
Dead chickens were scattered across the parking lot of the House of Praise For All People church outside Greenwood Saturday after an SUV and livestock truck collided at the nearby intersection.
The driver of the truck was trapped in his vehicle after the crash, according to the Greenwood Volunteer Fire Company.
Both drivers were taken to Milford Memorial Hospital with non-life-threatening injuries, reported WMDT 47.
The truck driver works for Valley Proteins, according to his Facebook page. The company disposes of animal waste for slaughterhouses, poultry companies, restaurants and supermarkets.
The chickens were already dead and had been dyed blue. They were being taken to a local rendering plant, according to comments on Facebook.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:59 AM on January 29, 2019
Alabama, you say?
Roll on highway, roll on along
Roll on tenders 'till you get back home
Roll on family, roll on crew
Roll on momma like I asked you to do
And roll on chicken tenders, roll on (Roll on)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:02 AM on January 29, 2019
Roll on highway, roll on along
Roll on tenders 'till you get back home
Roll on family, roll on crew
Roll on momma like I asked you to do
And roll on chicken tenders, roll on (Roll on)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:02 AM on January 29, 2019
Would you like a dipping sauce with your tenders? Please choose from the following options:
1. Tangy BBQ Gravel Sauce
2. Signature Cigarette Butt Sauce
3. Sweet 'n Sour 'n Some Other Flavor We Can't Quite Place Sauce
4. Hot Mustard Smear
5. Honey Boo Boo Mustard
6. Habanernothanx Ranch
7. Creamy Branch
8. Spicy Buffalo Amoeba Sauce
9. New! Burnt Rubber Rub
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:15 PM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
1. Tangy BBQ Gravel Sauce
2. Signature Cigarette Butt Sauce
3. Sweet 'n Sour 'n Some Other Flavor We Can't Quite Place Sauce
4. Hot Mustard Smear
5. Honey Boo Boo Mustard
6. Habanernothanx Ranch
7. Creamy Branch
8. Spicy Buffalo Amoeba Sauce
9. New! Burnt Rubber Rub
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:15 PM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
10. Tabasco Motor Oil of Olé!
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:17 PM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:17 PM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
5 second rule!
posted by Fizz at 8:52 AM on January 29 [3 favorites +] [!]
18 wheel rule!
posted by chavenet at 1:07 PM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Fizz at 8:52 AM on January 29 [3 favorites +] [!]
18 wheel rule!
posted by chavenet at 1:07 PM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
My daughters were trapped on The Grapevine, by a semi full of lobsters, on fire.
I thought, wait, their life is a novel. Get the butter.
posted by Oyéah at 3:29 PM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
I thought, wait, their life is a novel. Get the butter.
posted by Oyéah at 3:29 PM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]
Three highway incidents that spring to mind for me:
1. Returning from graduate school at night on Highway 10, suddenly driving through watermelons, pickles and lettuce. A line of twenty traffic cones and several cop cars and cops frantically waving to commuters not to look, but keep driving. Laughing so hard I could barely drive.
2. Stuck dead in traffic on the Kaneohe Highway in the sweltering Hawaiian heat. Slowly realizing that bees were wandering in to my car interior. Seeing the bee truck stopped ahead. Watching as all of the others stopped in the traffic jam began to frantically roll up their windows to keep out the bees.
3. Post 9/11, desolate, feeling like a pariah because I wasn't marching around with a flag like everyone else in my office. Driving on the 76 turnpike at night and seeing an entire truckload of tiny American flags blowing across the freeway, so out of control, so scattered, so ineffectual, so apt.
posted by effluvia at 4:02 PM on January 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
1. Returning from graduate school at night on Highway 10, suddenly driving through watermelons, pickles and lettuce. A line of twenty traffic cones and several cop cars and cops frantically waving to commuters not to look, but keep driving. Laughing so hard I could barely drive.
2. Stuck dead in traffic on the Kaneohe Highway in the sweltering Hawaiian heat. Slowly realizing that bees were wandering in to my car interior. Seeing the bee truck stopped ahead. Watching as all of the others stopped in the traffic jam began to frantically roll up their windows to keep out the bees.
3. Post 9/11, desolate, feeling like a pariah because I wasn't marching around with a flag like everyone else in my office. Driving on the 76 turnpike at night and seeing an entire truckload of tiny American flags blowing across the freeway, so out of control, so scattered, so ineffectual, so apt.
posted by effluvia at 4:02 PM on January 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
I used to work an environmental emergency response contractor. One time, a truck spilled pure ethanol. One of our workers, an alcoholic, lost control and started drinking it out of a puddle on the ground. He was let go. I'd like to say he got help but I don't really know.
posted by M-x shell at 6:55 PM on January 29, 2019
posted by M-x shell at 6:55 PM on January 29, 2019
These incidents are much less amusing when the tenders are still on the chicken.
posted by wierdo at 6:47 AM on January 30, 2019
posted by wierdo at 6:47 AM on January 30, 2019
Possibly related? Tyson recalls chicken nuggets over rubber contamination
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:37 AM on January 30, 2019
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:37 AM on January 30, 2019
« Older (\/)!_!(\/) | #PayDecker Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:27 AM on January 29, 2019 [1 favorite]