Multis e gentibus vires

February 13, 2019 10:44 AM

Saskatchewan resident Dave Assman, denied a personalized license plate, finds a backdoor solution.
posted by mandolin conspiracy (38 comments total)

I am the assman
They are assmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob
posted by BungaDunga at 10:49 AM on February 13, 2019 [11 favorites]

How can that CBC article not even mention the "Seinfeld" connection - an entire episode literally about the word "ASSMAN" on a license plate? Did they not have "Seinfeld" in Canada?
posted by majorsteel at 10:54 AM on February 13, 2019 [11 favorites]

I think they were more preoccupied with Dick, the distant relative (also of the Saskatchewan Assmans) made famous by Letterman.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:56 AM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

he needed a nu start
posted by BungaDunga at 10:58 AM on February 13, 2019 [8 favorites]

"Even if a word is someone's name and pronounced differently than the offensive version, that's not something that would be apparent to other motorists who will see the plate."

The history of banned numberplates in the UK is something I've always found fascinating (from 1932, when numberplates first became mandatory):

"Some three-letter combinations were not authorised for licensing use as they were deemed offensive. These included ARS, BUM, GOD, JEW, SEX, and SOD. DUW was issued in London for several months in 1934 before it was realised it was the Welsh for "god", and withdrawn."

This list of more recently banned plates is similarly fascinating as a cultural artefact. It includes plates such as RU13 BUM, PE12 VRT and OR67 ASM.

A civilisation's banned license plates express a surprising amount about its concerns and preoccupations.
posted by terretu at 11:00 AM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

It’s worth noting that the slogan that appears on an Ontario license plate right below the number is “Yours to Discover,” so I feel like he should have registered the vehicle in Ontario. Or Alberta, where the slogan is “Wild Rose Country.”
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:04 AM on February 13, 2019 [25 favorites]

How can that CBC article not even mention the "Seinfeld" connection?

Quite.
posted by BWA at 11:05 AM on February 13, 2019

It's a shame the Saskatchewan Roughriders specialty plates don't have room for six characters.
posted by box at 11:09 AM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

It’s worth noting that the slogan that appears on an Ontario license plate right below the number is “Yours to Discover,” so I feel like he should have registered the vehicle in Ontario. Or Alberta, where the slogan is “Wild Rose Country.”

In Saskatchewan you can get plates that say “RIDER NATION” across the bottom, so
posted by rodlymight at 11:10 AM on February 13, 2019 [10 favorites]

Anyone who went through adolescence with a surname likes that deserves any small pleasures they can derive from it in adulthood.

Years ago I had a blog devoted to Canadian records, and a relative of Al Allbutt reached out to me when he passed away to request a copy of one of the albums he produced so they could play it at his wake. I'd made a joke on the blog about how I hoped he had a good sense of humour about having a name like that, and his relative assured me that they all did.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:15 AM on February 13, 2019 [12 favorites]

Have been through Saskatchewan. Story checks out.
posted by LegallyBread at 11:24 AM on February 13, 2019

I wonder if he's any kin to my go-to Egyptological theorist.
posted by Countess Elena at 11:25 AM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

In grade school, I had a friend tell me about this guy he knew who wanted a personalized plate, and the form wanted a first, second, and third choice. So he put down his first choice, then something else for second, and then he figured he was sure to get one of those, but he needed a third entry on the form so he just said, "fuck it" and put down Hitler. And then he got a license plate that said Hitler and people would scream at him and key his car and stuff.

I'm thinking my friend was probably full of shit.
posted by Naberius at 11:31 AM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

I hear he's quite the tailgater.
posted by Floydd at 11:32 AM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

a backdoor solution

Phwoar!
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:54 AM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

I just checked, and in Wisconsin you can still get ASK MEFI, MEFI, and MEFI LUV if you want.
posted by Slinga at 12:13 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

I get why this is a thing, but I think only fair way to go about it is to just stop with the personalized plates already. And I’m sure there must be a law about rude bumper stickers, so this guy’s solution might not be much of a loophole.

The most famous person from Saskatchewan — well, second to Joni Mitchell, I guess — is Brent Butt. You think they’d deny him “BUTT”?
posted by Sys Rq at 12:21 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

Show this amateur how it’s done.

Also, thanks to this post I will spend the rest of today trying to get what many consider the worst theme song in professional wrestling history out of my head.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 12:30 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

MetaFilter seems very preoccupied with butts lately.

This is not a complaint.
posted by Fizz at 12:33 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Being a person with the letters ASS consecutively in my last name, I was told this story. No idea if it's true or not:
There used to be a car dealer in Baltimore named Frank Sass. There were billboards around the city that said : "If you need a car, look up Frank Sass".
posted by MtDewd at 12:40 PM on February 13, 2019 [9 favorites]

Judged by the standards of Baltimore car dealership slogans, that's pretty good (nsfw).
posted by box at 12:45 PM on February 13, 2019 [8 favorites]

My favorite has always been the Virginia plate "Eat The". Sure, it's not exciting on it's own but the license plate frame makes it genius.
posted by true at 12:50 PM on February 13, 2019 [17 favorites]

In Saskatchewan you can get plates that say “RIDER NATION” across the bottom, so

The old license plate catchphrase was “Saskatchewan: hard to spell, easy to draw.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:04 PM on February 13, 2019 [4 favorites]

Pffft. Does Assman get a drink with a password and the secret menu at Taco Bell?
posted by humuhumu at 1:05 PM on February 13, 2019 [4 favorites]

I once made a joke to an acquaintance about how it's cheaper to just put a sticker that says 'asshole' on your car.

You'd be right to guess that I found out later that he had a personalised plate...
posted by pipeski at 1:32 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Nothing says "I filled out a form and paid an additional fee" like a personalized license plate. Though I must admit, here in SA where, provided it's from the older and mostly out-of-circulation R and S series plates, a 3 letter, 3 number plate of the user's choice can be had for only the standard lost plate replacement fee, RIR011 (R I roll) was tempting when I was looking at a Volvo 850R wagon a couple years ago.
posted by MarchHare at 2:01 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

Thanks for clarifying that this is a different Assman than the one I remember from Letterman (which feels like about 20 years ago?? more, even??).

That was a simpler time, when the Assmen roamed freely.
posted by sylvanshine at 2:15 PM on February 13, 2019 [4 favorites]

Assman (pronounced "Oss-men")

I'm guessing he's said that twice a day on average since he was able to talk.
posted by chavenet at 2:41 PM on February 13, 2019 [9 favorites]

Sys Rq: "The most famous person from Saskatchewan — well, second to Joni Mitchell, I guess — is Brent Butt."

Gordie Howe, c'mon.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:50 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

And Leslie Nielsen!
posted by Chrysostom at 6:51 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter seems very preoccupied with butts lately.

I'm coming off a Crohn's flareup and CANNOT WAIT for the poop and butts to end.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 7:13 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Thanks to this Metafilter post I recalled fond exchange student memories of riding the train past this ASSMANN mill in Guntramsdorf, Austria. It made me laugh every time. Thanks, Canadian Assman!
posted by Maarika at 7:51 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

I said person, Chrysostom, not ghost.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:37 PM on February 13, 2019

Sys Rq: "And I’m sure there must be a law about rude bumper stickers, so this guy’s solution might not be much of a loophole."

I'd be surprised if there was and I'd be doubly surprised if a law preventing one from putting one's name since birth on the tailgate of one's pickup withstood a charter challenge.
posted by Mitheral at 10:01 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

'Cause I'm the assman
Yeah, I'm the assmaaan
And you're working for no one but me
Assman!
posted by kirkaracha at 10:15 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

Hmm, is 1BU TT6 banned anywhere yet?

(I finally had a really good bowel movement today; Jpfed I hope yours get better)
posted by batter_my_heart at 10:37 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

In high school, knew some girls named Assman. They called it Ozmun (and perhaps prayed for early marriage and name change?)
posted by Cranberry at 12:36 AM on February 14, 2019

Assman (pronounced "Oss-men")

Surely "Arse-men"?
posted by xigxag at 1:00 PM on February 14, 2019