Hold down the tab key. Select "Piss," "Poop," or "Vomit,".

February 13, 2019 4:29 PM

The hardest part of video game Scum was learning how to pee/poop. [Polygon] “Tossing turds around is nothing new in the survival genre. Ark: Survival Evolved launched with poo for you and your dinosaur mounts to boot, but their flavor of feces didn’t really serve much of a purpose. In Scum, however, everything matters. By simulating human frailty, they’re trying to bring competition and fairness back to one of gaming’s most competitive multiplayer genres. And they’re doing it with an absurd amount of complexity. [...] The developers say that they’ve created the most realistic simulation of the human metabolic system ever made, the end result of which is a fairly regular requirement that my avatar urinate and empty his bowels. But why?” [YouTube][Gameplay Footage][NSFW]

• Cannibalism, crafting, and extreme bodily functions in survival game Scum [PC Gamer]

“Maybe pooping isn't gross. We all do it. It's normal and natural. And here it's a bit more realistic looking than, say, in Ark, where a dungball the size of a grapefruit just appears near your butt and falls to the floor—though in both games you poop right through your pants. I'm not sure we really needed jiggle physics on the turd, but we've got 'em. Thanks. Unlike in Ark, however, I couldn't pick up my poop afterward. I'll leave it to you to decide if that's a good or bad thing.”

• How to pee, poop, or vomit in PC breakout hit Scum (and what it means if something strange comes out) [GamesRadar+]

1. Find a safe spot. Your character will be vulnerable while they're in the middle of the animation for relieving themself.
2. Hold the Tab key.
3. Click on the button on the right, the one with a toilet icon on it.
4. Select "Piss," "Poop," or "Vomit," depending on what your character needs. Performing all three at once is too dangerous of a maneuver for even the most powerful Scum character to attempt right now, but maybe someday.

One more thing: don't panic if your character mysteriously poops out something that they really shouldn't be pooping out (like it did for this Reddit user). Your character's first bowel movement yielding a useful item is just one of the many, er, benefits you get for buying the Scum Supporter Pack DLC.

posted by Fizz (30 comments total)

Blame Johnny Wallflower.
posted by Fizz at 4:29 PM on February 13, 2019 [10 favorites]

Imagine sticking with the same character for weeks or even months of in-game time. Over that span, if you don’t get enough protein in your avatar’s diet their strength will go down. If they don’t eat enough carbs they won’t be able to run as fast or as far as they could the day before. I imagine that, at some point, if they don’t get enough vitamin C they’ll get scurvy as well.

I'm not sure I want to play a game that requires me to be more mindful of my health and diet than I am in my actual goddamn life.
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:37 PM on February 13, 2019 [19 favorites]

Your character's first bowel movement yielding a useful item is just one of the many, er, benefits you get for buying the Scum Supporter Pack DLC.

I mean this is my favorite bit here. You literally paid for shit with your DLC purchase.
posted by Fizz at 4:39 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

😍😍😍
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:41 PM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

FIZZ. FIZZ. NO. FIZZ NO.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 4:47 PM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

You made a post! About doo-doo!
posted by thelonius at 5:26 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

The only other game in recent memory that I can think of that actively embraces fecal matter is Binding of Isaac where you battle certain poo monsters who shit tiny turds that can attack you. Dingle, Dangle, Turdlings, Dip, Squirt, Dinga and Brownie are all poop bosses.

Mind you poo isn't entirely bad in this game, you can often find money, and other status effect items that help you.
posted by Fizz at 5:28 PM on February 13, 2019

When I establish my gaming studio, we'll publish a survival game where you don't just have to manage your hunger, and thirst, and sleep, and evacuation. You'll also have to hit 'h' every second or so for your heart to beat, and 'r' as needed for respiration, and you'll have to match your h and r frequency to your activity level or else you'll pass out from anoxia or hyperventilate/go into some bad heart rhythm from tachycardia. Also you'll need to hit 'b' once every few seconds to blink or your eyes will fall out of your head like in real life.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:28 PM on February 13, 2019 [17 favorites]

Does the rest of Metafilter need to be witness to the Fizz/Johnny Wallflower poop post flinging contest?? Really. Take it to Memail.

(I think this is hilarious, keep up the good shit)
posted by Fig at 5:33 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

I got enough of this in Binding of Issac, thanks.
posted by RolandOfEld at 5:34 PM on February 13, 2019

Really. Take it to Memail.

It's been taken to MetaTalk.
posted by Fizz at 5:36 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

So basically realistic grim'n'gritty Manual Samuel, GCUSaFoG?
posted by Scattercat at 5:55 PM on February 13, 2019

Taking the piss by posting again about poop?
Hedley says, "Kinky".

Obligatory.
posted by zaixfeep at 5:58 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

You literally paid for shit with your DLC purchase.
To be fair, "Mystery Prison Pocket Item" (game description) isn't all that DLC gets you. It also gets you 2 extra inches of dong length (above and beyond what you can spend character points to grow) and an elephant cock-sock so you're kept festively warm.

(Not that this is my sort of game, but I couldn't avoid clicking on an article about literal microtransaction dick-measuring contests)
posted by CrystalDave at 6:51 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

(Not that this is my sort of game, but I couldn't avoid clicking on an article about literal microtransaction dick-measuring contests)

I wonder if this was a direct response to Conan: Exiles and their "dong physics" [YouTube][NSFW].
posted by Fizz at 7:30 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

Given it's a survival game, it might be influenced by Rust.
posted by RobotHero at 7:35 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

CrystalDave, I am *delighted*. It is perfect that you can pay $10 and get a slightly longer virtual dick. It is the platonic ideal of a cosmetic DLC
posted by JDHarper at 7:36 PM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

It is perfect that you can pay $10 and get a slightly longer virtual dick

And lo, the wallets of innumerable "gamer" assholes cried out in terror, knowing they would soon be empty.
posted by aramaic at 8:29 PM on February 13, 2019

I played *Dwarf Fortress* and wtf.
posted by BS Artisan at 10:00 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

Okay so when are they adding the Bowel Disruptor Ray.
posted by egypturnash at 10:43 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

I feel like you're burying the lede here quite a bit...there's a VOMIT button? Am I the only one who got super excited about the instantaneously-fully-formed-in-my-mind Linda Blair-themed 'Splatoon' knock-off?
(Feel free to name the game or it's characters.)
posted by sexyrobot at 3:05 AM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

I'm sure that this game breaks new ground in evacuation-based gameplay, but I feel compelled to point out that World of Warcraft has for years had a quest line for Alliance players that's a parody of the Rambo movies in which one has to go about collecting fox poop in order to create camouflage, presumably involving smearing the fox poop on oneself. You don't actually see the foxes popping a squat, it's just there. (There's also dialogue from the NPCs about the orcs using them as toilets while they were POWs.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:41 AM on February 14, 2019

Hold down the tab key. Select "Piss," "Poop," or "Vomit,".

Surely it should be Piss, Poop, or Puke. Nobody rides for free.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:15 AM on February 14, 2019 [6 favorites]

In No Man's Sky, if you feed any of the friendly animals they'll poop out the mineral 'coprite' for you...and be really happy about it...just running around in circles with little happy faces popping up as piles of coprite appear in a cloud of smoke (or I guess...farts?) behind them.
posted by sexyrobot at 6:42 AM on February 14, 2019

Metafilter: there's a VOMIT button?
posted by Vesihiisi at 8:10 AM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

South Park: The Stick of Truth also (unsurprisingly) allows you to defecate and then use the results as a weapon in combat.

(SP:TSOD is by Obsidian, a studio whose successes are amazing and whose failures are still interesting. It's a pretty good RPG but modern politics have ruined it.)
posted by suetanvil at 8:55 AM on February 14, 2019

The third person view / tactical thing they're doing is fascinating. It's sort of misleading in that you can still see the terrain, but I wonder if that'll be an option to hide, or if you just get used to thinking about where your avatar's head is pretty quickly.
posted by lucidium at 8:56 AM on February 14, 2019

Your character's first bowel movement yielding a useful item is just one of the many, er, benefits you get for buying the Scum Supporter Pack DLC.

Well, it’s a different way of doing a loot crate, I’ll give them that.
posted by nubs at 9:08 AM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

Scum

Is there a manifesto?
posted by bendy at 7:26 PM on February 14, 2019

When I establish my gaming studio, we'll publish a survival game where you don't just have to manage your hunger, and thirst, and sleep, and evacuation. You'll also have to hit 'h' every second or so for your heart to beat, and 'r' as needed for respiration, and you'll have to match your h and r frequency to your activity level or else you'll pass out from anoxia or hyperventilate/go into some bad heart rhythm from tachycardia. Also you'll need to hit 'b' once every few seconds to blink or your eyes will fall out of your head like in real life.

I think it's cool that you're hiring Bennett Foddy, but I'm not sure you can convince him to pivot QWOP 2 to be a survival MMO. I heard it was gonna be co-op cooking game like Overcooked where one player controls the left side of the cook's body and the other controls the right.

It would be cool to add a cardiovascular mechanic to that, though. One player could control the heart and the other could be in charge of the heart. Maybe give each of them one of the eyelids?
posted by straight at 2:38 PM on February 15, 2019