"It was a gift for me when I realized: I’m done."

February 21, 2019 4:45 PM

When the chefs of Joe Beef in Montreal gave up alcohol, their whole restaurant changed.
posted by maudlin (22 comments total)

Thanks for posting this.
posted by Zephyrial at 5:35 PM on February 21, 2019 [2 favorites]

More like this pls.
posted by Glinn at 5:38 PM on February 21, 2019 [3 favorites]

It sounds like it was a change he really needed and that he is much happier for it. Good for him, and even better that he is helping others.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:44 PM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]

This article successfully conveys how good it feels to not drink. And what happened among his employees demonstrates that a lot of drinking is simply mimetic - we drink because other people are drinking.

I might only take a few key influencers in a drinking environment to stop, and the whole drinking thing could come crashing down, like smoking. That would be a good thing for the ex-drinkers, if not for the whole alcohol industry thing.
posted by Modest House at 6:00 PM on February 21, 2019 [10 favorites]

I recall from a Lucky Peach interview he realized that he had PTSD and how the restaurant trade did not want to talk about mental health issues. Similar to this article it was frank, brutal and forthright. He has a fearlessness I envy and the right moment to apply it to his own health. Good on him.
posted by jadepearl at 6:06 PM on February 21, 2019 [6 favorites]

But it’s only the real ignorant meatheads who would say something awful, like that they would not come back to the restaurants because we didn’t drag out the hammered Krusty the Clown to drink Calvados out of a jeroboam with them.

I had to look up "jeroboam" (Jeroboam: Equivalent to six standard 750 ml bottles) but this is beautiful.
posted by thelonius at 6:59 PM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]

This is just a great piece of writing, so clear and unaffected (I suppose like McMillan himself these days). I especially like the odd bit of Quebecois syntax.
posted by Flashman at 7:18 PM on February 21, 2019 [2 favorites]

Great article. Sweet and to the point. I also liked the article a month back or so that interviewed sober musicians. I'm in early recovery myself, and it is nice to hear these stories about other people finding their way and realizing their lives are far from over.

When you have a dependency, your mind is really good at tricking you into not realizing all the ways your dependency is hurting you. Some harms are obvious, like hangovers. But you don't notice slowly losing your generosity of spirit, or willingness to show or appreciate kindness, or ability to just genuinely be in the moment with others. Getting sober and rediscovering these things is an unexpected gift.
posted by teh_boy at 7:57 PM on February 21, 2019 [19 favorites]

“As chefs we are asked constantly to do charity work. I raise $750,000 every year for Atlantic salmon. But I realized that when I have staff members who need to go see a therapist, I don’t have $100 to give them. It’s insane that we raised $750,000 for fucking salmon, and I don’t even have a bank account with $20,000 in it to send my coworkers to rehabilitation. The fact is we’re a motley crew of pirates who all need to speak to someone a bit.”
posted by amanda at 8:18 PM on February 21, 2019 [15 favorites]

I would like to know how the customer experience has changed, since he stopped drinking. Are visitors to the restaurant as enchanted as they were before? More? Less?
posted by seawallrunner at 9:21 PM on February 21, 2019 [1 favorite]

Good for him. It can't be easy to make any change in a lifestyle you've been living for twenty-plus years, much less one involving substances.
posted by praemunire at 9:32 PM on February 21, 2019

That’s great, not just for them personally, but for everyone they’re helping by being open and generous with their space, money and time. The gist I got from the article was that they organically arrived at all these ways of really helping people in a long term sense, once they gave up on their default urges to please people in the moment by trying to live up to external expectations. Some food for thought, there.
posted by mantecol at 12:06 AM on February 22, 2019 [6 favorites]

This is such an industry self-correction and I believe part of a bigger trend that will make more sense looking back in 5 years. There was a ridiculous celebration of excess in high-end food for a decade or so, and it had really reached a peak. The death of Anthony Bourdain was one sombering note and a bellwether of change. Going further down that path of "bad boy" chefs, extreme/violent/loud/rude kitchens, and the ironically-aware juvenile glorification of meat (bacon, pork fat, organ meats), amplified cocktail culture, was no longer interesting and was starting to have obvious drawbacks. I hope we continue to see a retreat from extremes and more attention to the simple, heart-driven qualities of a really good food experience.

I am all for more AF posts. I pretty much stopped drinking over the last year, not because I had any dramatic bottom-hitting experience, but because I started to just be aware what a crock the stuff is. Regular drinking really does rob your energy and negatively impact your health. It's only when you stop that you realize how many social and cultural mechanisms there are to encourage continued consumption - pushers are everywhere, and on the other side, you realize how weird it all is ("talking about wine like I did before, like weed guys talk about weed"). So I appreciate this, and the sober musicians post a while back, and similar things that help put out more awareness that (a) you don't have to be what we think of as an "alcoholic" to want to stop drinking, and (b) for a lot of people, not drinking much or at all makes life a lot better.
posted by Miko at 4:21 AM on February 22, 2019 [12 favorites]

I remember seeing these guys on Bourdain's show and being simultaneously amazed and appalled at their level of self-indulgence. Even Bourdain couldn't quite seem to believe it as he went through the whole experience with them. The article really illuminates that entire episode and puts it all into context.
posted by briank at 6:32 AM on February 22, 2019 [2 favorites]

That article really resonated with me.
Not because of the high-end celebrity food angle, but because I've been off of alcohol and caffeine for 7 years now, and the author's experience reminds me of how my mind shifted.
posted by doctornemo at 8:27 AM on February 22, 2019 [1 favorite]

... better at entertainment if they got sober but a lot of storytellers and tastemakers kept arguing for sort of orgiastic excess.

One thing that's very hard for many people to give up on is the idea that getting wasted makes them interesting. From the other side, I can remember that getting drunk was (until it wasn't) fun, but there wasn't really anything interesting about it. When you are around people who are drinking hard when you aren't, they usually seem like dreadful bores, repeating themselves, thinking that their inane witticisms are brilliant, and so forth.
posted by thelonius at 8:39 AM on February 22, 2019 [4 favorites]

Great post. Thanks for sharing! I'm 44 yrs old. I was never an alcoholic, but definitely had a problematic relationship to booze at various points in my life. Before I got sober, I can remember thinking from time to time (esp. when hungover) "Man, I should really slow down," but feeling extremely anxious & depressed at the very thought of curbing my alcohol consumption. What would I do to unwind? How would I ever socialize again? Would I die of boredom? So I kept putting it off. Kept indulging, kept feeling like shit. Now, eight months booze- and sugar-free & feeling great, I often find myself thinking "Jeez, I really wish I had done this a lot sooner."
posted by Bob Regular at 8:57 AM on February 22, 2019 [3 favorites]

p.s. On the other side of things: What do I do to unwind? I got a puppy! So now I play with her and take her for walks instead of boozing. And how do I socialize? I hardly ever go to bars now, but when I do I chill with club soda and enjoy the knowledge that I won't wake up feeling terrible. As for the boredom, I actually find myself a lot less bored without the very predictable cycle of intoxication and recuperation ruling my existence. So yeah, I still miss drinking sometimes in a sort of amnestic way that screens out everything bad about it. But I simply can't ignore the fact that I'm less depressed and anxious than I have been in a long time...so for me abstinence wins from a purely hedonic angle.
posted by Bob Regular at 9:10 AM on February 22, 2019 [6 favorites]

What do I do to unwind?

A big revelation for me was realizing that alcohol makes you more stressed. So when you don't drink, you don't need to unwind that hard.
posted by Miko at 1:34 PM on February 22, 2019 [5 favorites]

So I appreciate this, and the sober musicians post a while back, and similar things that help put out more awareness that (a) you don't have to be what we think of as an "alcoholic" to want to stop drinking, and (b) for a lot of people, not drinking much or at all makes life a lot better.

Yeah, I was trying to figure out how to articulate this. I’ve been not-drinking for a few years now, and it brings everything from sideways glances to intense questioning. I guess once it becomes apparent that it’s not due to alcoholism or pregnancy, and it’s not an absolute vow, it catches the interest of people who might be similarly tired of consuming alcohol (but are maybe afraid of what people would think of them if they did... turtles all the way down). I tell them that I drink what I want, and what I want most of the time is some cool, delicious water that I can down at any rate I please, without paying a cent. And to go home at the end of the night without dry eyes or a nauseous feeling.
posted by mantecol at 4:07 PM on February 22, 2019 [4 favorites]

There is a lot I recognize in this essay, and I’m happy he got there. I also feel that the day I decided it was enough was a gift; the “old” me feels like a huge dork saying it, but it’s true, my sobriety is the greatest gift.

I’ve happily noticed a trend of a lot of fancier restaurants having complex and interesting non-alcoholic cocktails and I AM HERE FOR IT.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 7:28 PM on February 22, 2019 [1 favorite]

thelonius: "I had to look up "jeroboam" (Jeroboam: Equivalent to six standard 750 ml bottles) but this is beautiful."

Most of the really big wine bottle sizes are named after Biblical figures.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:19 PM on February 23, 2019 [2 favorites]