Gregg Valentino's

July 30, 2002 3:52 AM

Gregg Valentino's Claim to fame is having the biggest arms in the world, and who are we to argue with him? (Link via zFilter.)
posted by h0ney (30 comments total)

Geez. It's the anti-Popeye...
posted by Samizdata at 3:59 AM on July 30, 2002

Why do I feel so hungry for a raw slab of mammalian flesh right now?
posted by crasspastor at 4:09 AM on July 30, 2002

do u think he can make that fart sound from his armpit ?
posted by monkeyJuice at 4:14 AM on July 30, 2002

Welcome to BICEPMANIA.NET home of Gregg Valentino who has the largest arms in the wolrd!!!

The wolrd is impressed.
posted by dogmatic at 4:36 AM on July 30, 2002

This one must be somehow connected to This One, remember, "One Man's Meat Is Another's Person".
posted by Blake at 4:40 AM on July 30, 2002

if his 'old chap' wasn't non-existent from steroid abuse, he'd be bashing out some awesome tunes on his meat piano.
posted by Frasermoo at 5:03 AM on July 30, 2002

Maybe that's how the arms got so big ...
posted by RavinDave at 5:07 AM on July 30, 2002

Does he think the ladies like that look?
posted by Fofer at 5:56 AM on July 30, 2002

Anyone have any diet information of the pros, or exercise routines? I want to get big.... maybe like 1/10th the size they show him when he is 20, but I want to do it without steroids and without being 5'6"... I'm 6'4" and skinny. Help?
posted by banished at 5:58 AM on July 30, 2002

Good Lord. Those are some guns. Banished, there is tons of information on the web, bulletin boards and such, where people discuss their routines and diets. But it's different for each individual. A couple rules of thumb if you want to get big and not concerned with tone...Make protien a large part of your diet. Work out not more than 5 days a week, splitting each day up by bodypart (ie Day 1 arms, Day 2 legs, Day 3 Shoulders and traps, Day 4 Back, do some cardio and abs mixed in). Use heavy weights, such that you can't do more than 6 reps per set, and give yourself ample rest in between sets... And the real key is, continue to do it for 10 years. This shit takes alot of time if you're going to do it naturally, but you should be encouraged by noticeable gains in strength and appearance within weeks of beginning. I have been working out for 17 years now, one day at a time.

Shit, one more thing I almot forgot. Biceps (bi = two) and triceps (tri=three) make up the upper arm. By the name alone the triceps account for 60% of your arm size, in actuality it's more than that. Some of this website guys pictures clearly show how huge his tris are. If you want big arms, you need to develop big tris in addition to bis.
posted by vito90 at 6:11 AM on July 30, 2002

Something is horribly, horribly wrong with that man.
posted by subgenius at 6:24 AM on July 30, 2002

Someone should make him read this moving piece of advice. (I'm nearly in tears. Thanks, Patrick.)
posted by Fabulon7 at 6:25 AM on July 30, 2002

Favorite Food: Italian and Steak

I think Blake is right. Now is that an Italian who has eaten steak, or steak with your Italian?
posted by phmk at 6:34 AM on July 30, 2002

if his 'old chap' wasn't non-existent from steroid abuse, he'd be bashing out some awesome tunes on his meat piano.
posted by Frasermoo at 5:03 AM PST on July 30

Whooa.... Fark.com was at the *last* exit, pardner!
posted by mecran01 at 6:44 AM on July 30, 2002

Could you get that way even with steriods? Those have got to be implants...
posted by jalexei at 6:52 AM on July 30, 2002

Banished.

You sound like a Hardgainer. Work out twice a week, doing full body routines. Squat at one workout (high reps 15-20 and do a deadlift at the other workout.

Try picking up Randall Strossen's Super-Squats book. Also try sites like: www.cyberpump.com & www.hardgainer.com
posted by Mondo at 7:03 AM on July 30, 2002

I went tooling around in the forums of the site (there's a lot of funny but juvenile stuff in there) and there are a lot of allegations that he uses synthol. I've never even heard of synthol before, so I can't say that he uses it. But good god, he must use something, there is just no way that those arms are natural.

Here's a link to some information about synthol.

The most interesting from the link:
This ‘posing oil’ has been specially designed to be injected into muscle tissue where it becomes encapsulated by the fascicles ( bundles of muscle fibers). After frequent repeated injections the synthol accumulates and forms a huge bolus of oil that adds tremendous volume to the particular injected muscle groups. Synthol works most effectively on smaller muscle groups such as the biceps, rear delts and calves. There are four major risks associated with using this drug which include 1) a potential risk for infection at the injection site 2) hitting a vein or artery can cause a multitude of adverse reactions 3) possible pulmonary embolism and or anaphalactic shock 4) and the removal of this substance is not an option."

Ugh - a huge bolus of oil directly in the muscle? Does it make his arms squishy? What fool would do this to themself? Are there women out there that find this attractive?
posted by rks404 at 7:18 AM on July 30, 2002

A few weeks ago I edited a medical report documenting the course, from first consult for stomach pain to grisly death, of a librarian here in Japan whose bodybuilding hobby had slowly gotten out of hand with steroids.

Extensive perforation of intestines, fast-spreading necrosis, liquefying tissues, a very, very painful way to go.
posted by planetkyoto at 7:24 AM on July 30, 2002

I'm 6'4" and skinny. Help?

I'm 6'2" and I was only 140 lbs up to about 3 years ago when I started working out. 2 years later I'd gained 30 lbs and have been around 170 since then. I highly recommend meeting with a trainer. If you can't afford to see one every time you work out (I can't) look around and find one who can give you a couple good teaching sessions to teach you a good program of exercises, and then stick to that routine. I've been going 2-3 times a week since I started. Also, I had to start eating more. With my metabolism, the trainer's advice was "it almost doesn't matter what you eat just eat more" though in truth the important thing was to start eating lots of protein.

Also, I strongly recommend learning from a trainer because you'll learn the proper form for the exercises better than from any book. And form is seriously important - one injury can be devastating. Tiny things like where you put your hands on the bar for a bench press can dramatically affect how your muscles get used, and whether you're working out effectively or not. When I went about a year without checking in with my trainer my form got sloppy and I strained my shoulder a little.

So, it can totally be done. Just takes consistency and dedication.
posted by dnash at 7:44 AM on July 30, 2002

1999 photo scrapbook. Scroll down to the bottom, and under the last picture it says "Me in 1999, after about three years of steroids." And he has kids. Nice role model.
posted by starvingartist at 8:25 AM on July 30, 2002

His arms are grotesque. He obviously is very proud of what he's done and probably doesn't care who or how many people find it attractive.
posted by onhazier at 8:50 AM on July 30, 2002

StarvingArtist, I didn't notice that admission when I looked through, for some reason. At least he is honest about it, but that won't help him. I hope he survives it.

Back about 1990, I remember talking with L.A. Raider's legend Lyle Alzado on the sidelines at a Raider's game, when he was trying to make a comeback in the NFL with the help of a massive regimen of steroids. He was really pumped up and looking like his old self at that time, though too wracked by old football injuries to play. Within 10 months he had wasted away to a thin frame, and then he was dead.
posted by planetkyoto at 9:27 AM on July 30, 2002

I can't speak for my entire gender, but personally, those pictures squicked me right out. There's *no* way those arms are natural -- the musculature doesn't even seem normally shaped. I don't think arm muscles are supposed to be bumpy and *angular,* like they are in some of the pictures...
posted by metrocake at 9:31 AM on July 30, 2002

I'm suddenly feeling verrry comfortable in my slightly pudgy, wussy-armed bod.

So, lifting experts (or physiologists): what happens if he stops his routine? Do the muscles slowly recede or will he be left with big sacks of unsightly flabmeat dangling from his shoulders?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:33 AM on July 30, 2002

Muscle no more turns to fat than fat turns to muscle, so if he quit lifting, he would probably just lose mass and size. Men start losing muscle mass in their early 30's. If he quit lifting, he'd just start shrinking.
posted by ttrendel at 9:51 AM on July 30, 2002

By "flabmeat" I meant stuff like the squishy bits of undeveloped muscle I carry around, not fat. It seems like the amount of muscle this guy has worked up wouldn't just fade away, but would get soft and dangly (but we've already established that I'm clueless on this subject).
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:57 AM on July 30, 2002

The world has shifted on its axis.

We used to live in a world of Hulk Hogan's 22 inch pythons, wreaking havoc against the Godless hordes of the world. Now, here comes Gregg with his 27 inch (COLD!) anacondas.

Exeunt Hulkamania, Enter Greggamania?

The king is dead. Long live the king.

Excuse me whilst I drown my sorrows in a power shake...
posted by tittergrrl at 9:57 AM on July 30, 2002

What an abomination. I've heard of the guy before and he's not taken seriously at all because he got that big by injecting synthol into his biceps, as stated above.
posted by dcgartn at 10:03 AM on July 30, 2002

so if he quit lifting, he would probably just lose mass and size

To clarify, he would lose mass and size, but he would retain the oily substance he's been injecting into himself.

..another link w/r/t he & synthol.
posted by dcgartn at 10:08 AM on July 30, 2002

Thanks, rks404, for naming the substance I was wracking my brain to remember earlier today. This reminded me of a column I read several months ago that was a 2001 deadpool, including not-so-subtle references to enhancement-abusing bodybuilders (and one wrestler).
posted by MegoSteve at 3:26 PM on July 30, 2002