Harry Potter and the Deathly Weapons

August 4, 2020 4:31 PM

Harry Potter with guns instead of wands. SLYT. Link to streaming full length movie in YouTube description. Warning: graphic gun violence
posted by bonobothegreat (21 comments total)

😆
posted by Foci for Analysis at 4:47 PM on August 4, 2020

Occulus reparo!

This is so terrible and so good.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:01 PM on August 4, 2020

Hi-larious.
posted by sideshow at 5:18 PM on August 4, 2020

Terrible...

... but great
posted by BungaDunga at 5:31 PM on August 4, 2020 [3 favorites]

Content warning for suicide and children being shot. Shame because parts of it (that don't involve those things) are pretty funny.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:13 PM on August 4, 2020

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollow Points
posted by bz at 6:41 PM on August 4, 2020 [13 favorites]

I think it is worth remembering the Harry Potter KILLS A MAN- Professor Quirrell- in the Philosopher's Stone. And then never worries about it again. The boy is a stone cold killer.
posted by leibniz at 6:53 PM on August 4, 2020 [9 favorites]

This works so much better than you'd think it would
posted by JDHarper at 7:28 PM on August 4, 2020 [3 favorites]

I hadn't really thought of it, but guns really are a kind of magic wand. And, weirdly, the three Unforgivable Curses are all things you can do with guns - hurt people, and kill them; and consequently you can use guns to order people around. Magic in Rowling's world is basically an extended metaphor for the use of violence and the threat of violence in affecting human behaviour.
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:29 PM on August 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

There's an old tumblr post:

Cowboys are witches and horses are their familiars

guns are their wands and they only know one spell (bullet)
posted by JDHarper at 7:48 PM on August 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

i cast magic missile

at the darkness
posted by biogeo at 7:52 PM on August 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

Gun-kata, take two.
posted by doctornemo at 7:54 PM on August 4, 2020

Oh boy.
posted by Hermione Granger at 9:59 PM on August 4, 2020 [6 favorites]

Harry Potter KILLS A MAN- Professor Quirrell- in the Philosopher's Stone. And then never worries about it again. The boy is a stone cold killer.

By the end of the series virtually everyone is a stone killer. The longer story is really about Dumbledore recruiting, arming and training child soldiers then escaping justice for what muggles call a 'war crime'.
posted by biffa at 12:23 AM on August 5, 2020 [11 favorites]

"I'm very sorry Neville."
posted by MattWPBS at 7:43 AM on August 5, 2020 [3 favorites]

Harry Potter and the Chamber is Full
posted by hanov3r at 8:38 AM on August 5, 2020 [4 favorites]

Harry Potter KILLS A MAN- Professor Quirrell- in the Philosopher's Stone. And then never worries about it again. The boy is a stone cold killer.

Movie Harry is a stone cold killer. Book Harry is a cinnamon roll, the protection spell from Lily plus Voldemort leaving his body is what killed Quirrell.
posted by moons in june at 10:58 AM on August 5, 2020

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollow Points

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Suppressing Fire
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:12 PM on August 5, 2020 [3 favorites]

the three Unforgivable Curses are all things you can do with guns - hurt people, and kill them; and consequently you can use guns to order people around.

SMBC was on this weeks ago.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:46 PM on August 5, 2020 [1 favorite]

Damnit, it's already down. Tell me one of you beautiful people downloaded the entire film.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 3:02 PM on August 5, 2020 [2 favorites]

There's a copypasta from about ten years ago titled "Why Harry Potter Should Have Carried a 1911". Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova!
posted by Standeck at 3:31 PM on August 5, 2020