Shitty Media Men And Those Who Enable Them

January 28, 2021 8:17 AM

Writing on Medium, former Atlantic managing editor Jennifer Barnett discusses the abusive culture under James Bennet, how it pushed her out of the industry, and how people enabling him allows him - and other like him - to avoid accountability. (SLMedium)
posted by NoxAeternum (29 comments total)

"Not only are these guys shitty at their jobs, they keep each other and themselves in power so they can continue to be shitty at their jobs."

Definitely the money quote, but I just want to point out that this is pretty much happening in every industry, not just prestige media.

This is the exact same reason there aren't charges being brought up against Cruz, Hawley, Toober, et. al.

"It's a big (boys) club and we ain't in it."

They have each others backs, and that includes some of the men in the Democratic party apparatus as well.

These people need real comeuppance and not have a boys club that is able to make them perpetually land on their feet. Otherwise nothing will change.
posted by deadaluspark at 8:30 AM on January 28, 2021 [51 favorites]

Mona Eltahawy: I was a contributing opinion writer at the NYT 2014-2018. Last time I spoke to Bennett he told me to stop saying “fuck” on Twitter. So I started #WhyISayFuck. I explain here with background.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:12 AM on January 28, 2021 [14 favorites]

Screaming at your staff should be universally considered unacceptable. We’re adults, not children, and we should have to conduct ourselves that way.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:13 AM on January 28, 2021 [42 favorites]

should be universally considered unacceptable.

Maybe it's because we're not calling it what it is: Abuse.

Psychological and economic abuse.

Of course, I think the bigger takeaway of the article is that people who don't directly participate in abuse are often heavily invested in protecting abusers. Which should be considered tantamount to abuse itself.
posted by deadaluspark at 9:15 AM on January 28, 2021 [16 favorites]

Not to mention overly emotional.
posted by whuppy at 9:16 AM on January 28, 2021 [6 favorites]

Relevant: Allison Hantschel's What Does It Cost to Protect Shitty Media Men?
posted by Four String Riot at 9:57 AM on January 28, 2021 [5 favorites]

Despite the fact that my boss openly acknowledged and resented the reputation of being a boy’s club — he frequently pointed out the number of women working there (yet at the time, I was one of the few at the top of the masthead and he still shut me out of meetings) this was the culture that was actively fostered.

Man, this resonates.
posted by biogeo at 10:06 AM on January 28, 2021 [8 favorites]

Man, I have Opinions.

First, testify that she's 100% right that in media this is how it works in a lot of places.

I have watched men stalk buildings, screaming at someone, always a woman, as they walked them up and down hallways. I worked for a US media exec (partly responsible for killing Jane, btw) who did that exact walkaround although ours was at 6:15, and I used to get memos about my staff that weren't at their desk, and I feel sure that people got them about me. We had a kind of quiet policy of ignoring them. I had a 2 year old in daycare at the time - a daycare that closed at 6pm.

For myself personally, at a certain point I actually resolved that the next time I got screamed at by a particular individual I was going to punch or throw something at the individual who did it if only to have the relief of raising the stakes. (I believe this is never really appropriate and I was prepared to hang for it, but I was just at that point.) I never ended up having to, which was mostly timing, I think, but a little bit that as screaming started I got physically centered to fight and I wonder if on some primal level he picked up on it.

Incompetent or mediocre men are consistently, at every turn, promoted above skilled women -- sometimes inexperienced due to the same systemic issues, sometimes not

And I believe the incompetence is actually baked in with the abuse. When I was in media and print media started to really tank, accelerated by the 2008 crash, that's when a lot of the yelling really started. I believe it was in part because the men didn't know what else to do. They hadn't developed skills to actually address the issues and they hadn't developed skills in dealing with consequences, because when you "fail up," your entire life, you don't actually know how to cope with failure other than screaming and blaming others.

And does it ever cost - oh on preview I see someone beat me to the Hantschel article, hurrah.

I think also...what this year has taught me is that before, I thought of this as a harassment and workplace issue.

I see how exactly the same type of men have behaved in a global pandemic -- losing their shit, blaming scientists and doctors for not telling them what they want to hear, making decisions out of their asses, and protecting the Old Boys' Club above all else. I do think that it's through these conversations that we will change it.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:07 AM on January 28, 2021 [78 favorites]

My wife deals with the "you're just angry" thing a lot. I was reading this in another room and she heard me react audibly to something. When I sent the link I said, "I'm guessing none of this will surprise you." I bet Media Twitter must be Extra Media-Twitter-y today.
posted by fedward at 11:08 AM on January 28, 2021 [2 favorites]

"you're just angry"
Yeah, I think about this too. I've been in the same position as the author. I think that the "you're just angry" thing is a form of gaslighting, it's like projecting anger onto the women in the room as a way to scapegoat them as well as up the crazymaking. 'It's your problem, you're the angry (read: irrational) one.' But in actuality, the male boss was the angry one and was doing all kinds of gaslighty shit to avoid taking accountability for his own emotions, ie: anger. And he's probably angered because he is entitled: why doesn't everyone see and recognize and validate how great I am, why don't the women staff make themselves sexually available to me, I'm owed. Why is this woman prioritizing her baby in daycare over me, I'm the one she should be taking care of. It's classic narcissism, whether or not the thoughtprocess is this explicit.
posted by erattacorrige at 11:25 AM on January 28, 2021 [22 favorites]

By the way, it was announced the other day that Bennet's next stop will be at The Economist.
posted by rewil at 12:17 PM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]

I can't think of a better magazine to be run into the ground by bad management than The Economist.
posted by The River Ivel at 12:31 PM on January 28, 2021 [20 favorites]

"Incompetent or mediocre men are consistently, at every turn, promoted above skilled women -- sometimes inexperienced due to the same systemic issues, sometimes not-"

shoop shoop shoop

Let's not forget the way they call out experienced women as inexperienced, or silence, shame, or isolate people who could make beautiful little waves in industries that definitely need it!

woobwoobwoob woobwoob
posted by firstdaffodils at 1:14 PM on January 28, 2021 [5 favorites]

"you're just angry"

This is* gaslighting, or psycho-emotional broadsiding, and guess what! It just came out as non binary, sooo, it reaches everyone!
posted by firstdaffodils at 1:19 PM on January 28, 2021

Why is this woman prioritizing her baby in daycare over me, I'm the one she should be taking care of

Ugh, so sickeningly true, and variations of which are at the core of everything.
posted by riverlife at 1:25 PM on January 28, 2021 [4 favorites]

I've been very fortunate to have worked in non-shouty workplaces but having read/heard of so many of these kinds of stories, I've been trying to mentally prime myself to overcome any bystander effect inaction and step in to intervene in case I ever see something like this. This article makes it especially clear that it's not just the person/people being directly shitty that are the problem but also everyone around them who enable them, whether they're merely those who avert their eyes all the way up to those who actively cover for them and undermine their victims.
posted by mhum at 1:53 PM on January 28, 2021 [5 favorites]

This article makes it especially clear that it's not just the person/people being directly shitty that are the problem but also everyone around them who enable them, whether they're merely those who avert their eyes all the way up to those who actively cover for them and undermine their victims.

Yes, it's a really weird dynamic. For me it really was that boil a frog situation. At my first editorial-adjacent job, the big boss jerked off in his office every Friday afternoon (and some other ones, but it was like, a ritual) and I remember his door being cracked open (!) and sort of starting to look in when the office manager kind of got my attention and was like "we. don't. look. in. there. on. Friday. afternoons." And you know I to this day cannot fully believe that my response was "oh, okay." Although I think it took me a few more weeks to figure out what he was actually doing. This was in 1999.
posted by warriorqueen at 2:02 PM on January 28, 2021 [13 favorites]

I had no idea that Michael Bennet was James Bennet's brother, but then again, I usually forgot Michael Bennet was running for president and had to google to remember which one he was.
posted by hydropsyche at 2:20 PM on January 28, 2021

And I realize it probably would make them both really mad to realize that James had to recuse himself from all presidential campaign coverage when his brother was a complete nobody with zero chance of ever winning any primary votes.
posted by hydropsyche at 2:22 PM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on anger (Twitter):

Cruz response to @AOC tweet:

"You know, there's a lot of partisan anger and rage on the Democratic side. It's, it's not healthy for our country, it's certainly not conducive of healing or unity, but everyone has to decide how they want to interact with others."

AOC:

Oh, there’s anger?

Now why would there be anger that Cruz amplified known lies about our election that fueled an insurrection that cost ppl’s lives?

What does he think the logical response to his lies should be? A hug?

Maybe there’s anger bc his actions deserve accountability.

Me, to Jennifer Barnett: It DOES matter, and I hope we can speed the day when we turn that into actual, appropriate consequences for everyone who perpetrates that kind of abuse.

Thanks for posting this, NoxAeternum. Witnessing is important.
posted by kristi at 3:17 PM on January 28, 2021 [17 favorites]

I'd say 98% of me doesn't care why Ted Cruz is being shitty at any given moment and just wants him to knock it off but I'd say there's about 2% of me that wonders if he's just completely unaware how classically douche-y it is to tell a woman that she should be less angry, or if he has done the math and somehow concluded that it will make him look "strong" or "decisive" to the remaining Republican voters.

I have mental visions of them focus testing various classic abuse patterns before posting them, or A/B testing whether their voters think it sounds better if he patronizingly admonishes Democrats for their anger vs. telling them that people would like them better if they smiled more.

Either way.. what a piece of work that man is..

on edit: I realize after the fact that this has serious derail potential, and while it's too late to remove my reply entirely I'd like to add a hearty "fuck those dudes, too" for the men (both specifically and as a general class) who are the subject of the article in the write-up.
posted by Nerd of the North at 4:24 PM on January 28, 2021 [5 favorites]

My boss is not even close to this level of toxic but even he has a habit of prefacing requests with, "Now, don't freak out..." and I have started calling him on it every time.

Just because I ask questions, expect clarification, need specific deadlines and requirements, and might push back when I don't get what I need to do my best work (especially In These Times when so much context is lost, working remotely), I am not "freaking out." He has gotten better, and tells me that he doesn't mean it like that, etc., but still. No man would be accused of "freaking out" if he replicated my expectations.

Working remotely does exacerbate this; I look forward to when we can be in the same place and regain the advantages of seeing facial expressions and physical cues.

That being said- even if we WFH forever, I will still expect him to not characterize my methods using terminology that frames me as irrational or otherwise anything but competent and dedicated.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 6:44 PM on January 28, 2021 [14 favorites]

At my first editorial-adjacent job, the big boss jerked off in his office every Friday afternoon

What on earth
posted by Ndwright at 8:21 PM on January 28, 2021 [2 favorites]

I'm glad every day to be unionized.
posted by latkes at 10:12 PM on January 28, 2021 [6 favorites]

James Bennett also nearly ruined the Atlantic while he was there. All fits together.
posted by blue shadows at 10:12 PM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]

Wow. In the late 90s, my boss in my first "big" career role used to spend days in his office jerking off to internet porn, and we were all just expected to work around him. I had to do most of his job for him because he was simply unavailable. Periodically, he would emerge to condescend and talk down to us, although he didn't have a clue about the substance of our work.

When the gossip got so bad that his boss got comments from external contacts, the jerk-off was finally removed--by being kicked upstairs to a more senior position in a sister organization. He got another big promotion after that and retired at a very high level, even though the story was widely known. He portrayed himself as a victim of high stress and vindictive subordinates, including me, saying that we "crucified him" because he "occasionally liked to look at pictures of pretty women on the internet."

I've spent the last 20+ years thinking that this was an unusual situation, and I'm now realizing that it was not. Wow.
posted by rpfields at 6:13 AM on January 29, 2021 [6 favorites]

Ha. I've worked in two industries full of shitty men. Media and then video games.

My wife asked me a while back if yelling at each other was common in my old workplaces. I just laughed like a hyena and told her the only thing that stopped fist fights from breaking out some days was both sides being out of shape nerds, but some places I've worked have had rules written into the HR handbook about not throwing furniture at your coworkers that were known as "The (name here) Clause." The "mommy and daddy are fighting" feeling in the studio was common. And that wasn't even getting into the rest of it.

The worst part is the guys are usually pretty terrible at their jobs. They don't do anything cool or interesting. They just bounce around fucking things up but get protected by their similarly shitty buddies and keep hiring each other and circulating around the industry because ~oooh they're geniuses nobody does it like them~ because all of them have egos the size of a small mountain despite being not all that talented overall.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 6:20 AM on January 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

I wrote up most of my experience in tech as a pastiche
posted by gusandrews at 4:50 PM on January 31, 2021

This happens everywhere. I worked in tech, and had 2 identical experiences - my boss left, and the new boss was a young, arrogant man who was very sexist, and made it clear he believed that I could not possibly be competent because Ovaries, White Hair, not One-Of-The-Boys. Both times, I documented. The 1st time, when I left, I gave the documentation to a senior staff member, who said that boss was not very bright. He was transferred laterally, but continues to have lots of opportunity. The 2nd time, I sued. It was a horrible experience, I got a settlement and left, my boss left the organization and went to a job that likely pays even more. I doubt much has changed.

It's all so much fucking work, and it takes so much energy.
posted by theora55 at 10:53 AM on February 6, 2021 [3 favorites]