SlamBall

August 12, 2002 1:02 PM

SlamBall is America's newest sport. Combining Basketball, full-contact play, and massive trampolines into an extreme-team sport for the masses. Anyone seen it? Dude! or Dud?
posted by cell divide (30 comments total)

I had the fortune of seeing this debacle over the weekend. Definitely interesting, but the guys who gave this the go-ahead had to have been high. The worst part was that the players all seemed to have this embarassed look on their faces that said "um... is it over? Can we have our checks now?"
posted by The Michael The at 1:07 PM on August 12, 2002

I understand that the XFL athletes are receiving "Slam Ball" retraining right now.

Based on that animation, I'd guess that each team consists of six players and a libility lawyer.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 1:07 PM on August 12, 2002

An amazingly fun game to watch. Saw it this weekend for the first time. It's funny when they try and treat it like an established league, but it was a lot more fun than basketball or baseball. 16-minute games. Very fun.
posted by rev- at 1:11 PM on August 12, 2002

I watched a few games of slamball this weekend. Very amusing... For about two games. None of these guys could shoot. They missed nearly every shot that wasn't a dunk or a layup. Something to watch while commercials are playing on the channel you really want to watch. Nothing more.
posted by tcaleb at 1:13 PM on August 12, 2002

Lowest Common Denominator.
posted by Hall at 1:24 PM on August 12, 2002

i found it as exciting as i do regular basketball: not very.
posted by fore at 1:31 PM on August 12, 2002

Wait, aren't the guys who made South Park in this?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:34 PM on August 12, 2002

The trampoline aspect seems reminiscent of a game that Patrick McGoohan invented for one of the episodes of the TV series, The Prisoner, way back in the day.
posted by fpatrick at 1:34 PM on August 12, 2002

I saw it and couldn't help but visualize gnarly femur breaks and twisted ankles.
posted by brittney at 1:50 PM on August 12, 2002

Dude and Dud. It looks like a game that would be loads of fun to play. But you can't establish a following on TV for a sport no one plays in their schoolyard.

Frankly I'm waiting for the NCL, the National Calvinball League.
posted by KnitWit at 1:51 PM on August 12, 2002

I saw it and couldn't help but visualize gnarly femur breaks and twisted ankles.
Coooooool.
posted by ColdChef at 1:53 PM on August 12, 2002

"Gnarly Femur Breaks" would be an excellent name for a rock band. Or even a Slamball team, since hyperagressive names are apparently mandatory.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 1:57 PM on August 12, 2002

Time to break out the old questionnaire and see if this new sport is something for me:

a) Can I play it in the street/park/etc using sweaters for goalposts/bases/etc?

No. Not good. On preview: what KnitWit said.

b) Do I have to pay a lot of money to participate?

As there are no SlamBall parks where I live, I'd think so. Not good.

c) Can I play it drunk?

Probably. But it wouldn't be a pretty sight. Not good.

Conclusion: Sadly, SlamBall is not for me.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:59 PM on August 12, 2002

It reminds me of Roller Derby - a sort of semi scripted sport. It's far more interesting to watch Vince Carter or Tracey McGrady work their magic without a trampoline.
posted by aladfar at 2:00 PM on August 12, 2002

This is nearly like a sport played by characters in the Alastair series by Jack Vance, where the losing team has it's virgin girl mascot striped naked in a show of humiliation. Introduce that into the game and I'll tune in to watch the last few minutes.
posted by TskTsk at 2:04 PM on August 12, 2002

This is about as stupid as it gets.
posted by internook at 2:05 PM on August 12, 2002

"c) Can I play it drunk?

Probably. But it wouldn't be a pretty sight."

Au contraire. I would pay extra to watch drunken people play this game.

Then again, I would play extra to watch drunken people play almost any major sport. Indianapolis 500 cars run on alcohol, why shouldn't the drivers?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:05 PM on August 12, 2002

"Then again, I would play extra"

Pay extra, of course, which proves that although drunken people should play sports, they shouldn't type.*

*Note to boss: I am not currently drunk.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:08 PM on August 12, 2002

Looks like a job for the NBA cheerleader dunk-teams to do in the off-season.

Just because it's fun to watch the NBA team mascot and his team dunk in between quarters doesn't mean you should try and turn it into a game.
posted by internal at 2:10 PM on August 12, 2002

Yeah, dud.

The video game isn't even fun. I think my little animated fella (Stan "Shakes" Fletcher) had a gnarly femur break or three.
posted by mikrophon at 2:11 PM on August 12, 2002

mr_crash_davis: You're right. But still, one out of three makes no participant out of me.

Although I'm thinking about joining The Trampoline Wrestling Federation.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 2:13 PM on August 12, 2002

That's awesome, soundofsuburbia. I especially enjoyed his excuse for not having matches lately:

"Well the reason is my Trampoline is broke And I dont feel like doin nothing."

Ah, another slacker is born.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:16 PM on August 12, 2002

I'd like to see them work a trampoline into that upcoming Garry Kasparov vs. Deep Junior match.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 2:19 PM on August 12, 2002

"Rock, Rock, Rock 'n' Rollergames!
Rock, Rock, Rock 'n' Rollergames! "

The T-Birds, Bad Attitude, Hot Flash, Maniacs, Rockers, and Violators are back, babyeeeeee! Only on NBC! Be There!

Oh... wait...

Damn.
posted by tittergrrl at 2:25 PM on August 12, 2002

Next up--Ultimate Slam Ball, where players bounce into full-contact extreme fighting!
posted by fred_ashmore at 4:28 PM on August 12, 2002

I would tend to agree with the dud. I think the fact its on the new TNN (don't get me started on that) justifies that itself. Yes, I've sadly watched it, well, as much as I could stomach....
posted by robotrock at 4:46 PM on August 12, 2002

Hey, why don't they bring back "Roller Derby"? The girls only version of course. All that " call off the Jam" and elbowing. It was sure easier to follow. I know, I'm old. I never saw Raquel Welch on those shows either.
posted by razzuli at 5:39 PM on August 12, 2002

It is HORRIBLE! A bunch of really bad B-ball players who can't make it in a real league.
I give it 4 months.. tops.
posted by EmoChild at 5:49 PM on August 12, 2002

Yeah, what the hell is going on here? We simply need to take things more serious around here. I mean, what with these hooligans running around and jumping and whatnot! This is ridiculous. Think of these innocent little kids watching this stuff.

Frankly, I'm apalled by the mere suggestion of fun. Anyway, I need to get going, we're protesting the construction of a local park.
posted by wklang at 6:31 PM on August 12, 2002

I like it. But I also like Roller Derby and pro wrestling, so you can take away my Official Elitist Internet Snob membership card any day now.
posted by norm29 at 2:37 PM on August 13, 2002