Lock Up Your Daughters ... Darcy's in Town!

November 4, 2022 2:55 PM

From '50s pulp fiction P&P to bodice-ripper Northanger Abbey, it's the worst Jane Austen covers ever. (SL Twitter thread, with some additional egregious examples in the comments.)
posted by Kat Allison (20 comments total)

I like how the wrongness changes to reflect the taste of each era. #3 is perfect as a pulp but totally wrong as an Austin….
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:00 PM on November 4, 2022

Threadreader link, for those who don't have/would prefer to avoid Twitter itself. It misses out on a bunch more funny contributions by other users in the comments to the thread, though, including a link to this roundup of bad Wuthering Heights covers.
posted by mstokes650 at 3:48 PM on November 4, 2022 [3 favorites]

The tagline work on some of these is absolutely incredible, in both senses of the word.
posted by eponym at 4:06 PM on November 4, 2022 [2 favorites]

#4 looks like knockoff Gorey!

A is for Anne who broke off an engagement…
posted by mochapickle at 4:20 PM on November 4, 2022 [14 favorites]

Although it's not especially relevant to the rest of the Twitter thread, the picture in this comment caught my eye. Something latherèd this way comes...
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:44 PM on November 4, 2022

That... is honestly the cover of Northanger Abbey Catherine would have wanted.

(I presume that most people who followed those links are aware of this, but in case you're not: NORTHANGER ABBEY is a novel about a completely ordinary woman in a completely ordinary situation who desperately wishes she was in a gothic novel.)
posted by Xiphias Gladius at 6:01 PM on November 4, 2022 [14 favorites]

Although it's not especially relevant to the rest of the Twitter thread, the picture in this comment caught my eye. Something latherèd this way comes...

Or, well, looks like it's been removed. For the sake of clarity, this is the image I was trying to link to. Double, double foiled and troubled....
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:05 PM on November 4, 2022 [6 favorites]

“In love, would she follow her father’s advice, or her own heart?”

Did that copywriter ever READ Persuasion? The only advice Sir Walter ever gave Anne was what type of cream to use on her face to protect her complexion.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:29 PM on November 4, 2022 [12 favorites]

these are great actually???
posted by taquito sunrise at 7:54 PM on November 4, 2022 [5 favorites]

As someone who had to read Pride and Prejudice five times through separate coursework, I vastly would have preferred these to the boring old Penguin edition.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:08 PM on November 4, 2022

#3 is perfect as a pulp but totally wrong as an Austin

It's part of a series.
posted by MrBadExample at 8:31 PM on November 4, 2022 [8 favorites]

Yeah, #3 is the 2013 Pulp! The Classics edition.

Unfortunately, nothing to do with Pulp the band.
posted by betweenthebars at 9:10 PM on November 4, 2022

Those are pretty great.

I always wondered where Mr. Darcy's money came from, and it's nice to know, though a little deflating, that he was wealthy apparently because he invented filter cigarettes.
posted by jamjam at 12:18 AM on November 5, 2022 [4 favorites]

That Northanger Abbey one is amazing. I need it.
posted by paduasoy at 12:35 AM on November 5, 2022

(And the links to similar posts led me to The Younger Miss Bennets Expose Themselves at the Netherfield Ball, which is also a great thread.)
posted by paduasoy at 12:41 AM on November 5, 2022 [3 favorites]

I like big bonnets and I cannot lie
posted by TheophileEscargot at 2:43 AM on November 5, 2022 [2 favorites]

#4 is actually pretty cool because Anne is suffering all the time, although I can see a reader being disappointed that there wasn't more literal torment.

#6 looks like one of those 35+ cosplayers who go to Bath to this day. (And you know what? Good for them.) It also seems to be painted by somebody who usually did sword and sorcery covers, which I appreciate.

One of the many things that puts me off genre romances is a cover where an extremely 20th-21st century lady is pictured with her hair down in waves and her skin exposed, no supports or chemise or anything, in a satin gown from an 1860s bordello. A cover like this might be used for a book that takes place any time between 1790 and 1900. This Spanish edition of P&P is getting there. (Although I suppose it makes sense if you imagine it's Lydia being caught out by Darcy etc. in the morning after.)
posted by Countess Elena at 7:50 AM on November 5, 2022 [2 favorites]

A couple of these look like they were drawn by a ten-year-old who's "good at art".
posted by tommasz at 10:49 AM on November 5, 2022

I'm so sorry, but this one made me laugh way too much. "Complete and Unabridged," indeed!
posted by taz at 11:20 AM on November 5, 2022 [2 favorites]

Lock up your daughters, so they won’t hear how much Mr. Darcy doesn’t want to dance with them.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:21 PM on November 6, 2022 [1 favorite]