"i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing"

February 17, 2023 8:58 PM

Do you perhaps like your historical/fantasy fiction short and silly? "first day as a second century warlord..." starts a 16-paragraph farce of mistakes, crucial conversations gone wrong, and accidental intrigue. Found via unpretty.
posted by brainwane (13 comments total)

Absolutely obligatory: The best version of this is the version that is sung by the Eminem simulacrum
posted by CheshireCat at 9:08 PM on February 17, 2023 [19 favorites]

Why yes, I *do* like my historical/fantasy fiction short and silly.

Thanks brainwane
posted by freethefeet at 9:56 PM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]

Yeah, fuck. CE200.

vs

Oh shit. CE1800 and I'm only dressed for CE200.

vs

Oh shit, *really* CE18000? Fuck.

The future, as now, was always there, just unevenly distributed.
posted by porpoise at 10:15 PM on February 17, 2023

This feels like if "Our Flag Means Death" were in a different setting and I don't mean that as anything but a compliment.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:07 PM on February 17, 2023 [5 favorites]

Reads like a chronicle of Liz Truss's time as PM.
posted by Paul Slade at 1:11 AM on February 18, 2023 [11 favorites]

This. This is the random brilliance I come to Mefi for. (I, um, went deep into unpretty then topped it with the Eminem cover).
posted by abulafa at 5:03 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]

This feels like if "Our Flag Means Death" were in a different setting and I don't mean that as anything but a compliment.

And season 2 or Miracle Workers, which is also a compliment.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:37 AM on February 18, 2023

I've been reading She Who Became the Sun by Shelly Parker Chan, and while the time period is totally wrong, this reminds me so much of the interactions between warlords in there in the funniest way.
posted by Flight Hardware, do not touch at 6:00 AM on February 18, 2023

If the outline for a book is good enough, I guess you don't need to actually write the book.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:15 AM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]

That was fun. Thank you!
posted by Alterscape at 12:25 PM on February 18, 2023 [1 favorite]

If you folks like that you’re gonna love this little 16-volume Light Novel series called Overlord…

(You will not love Overlord. It is chock full of deeply problematic content. But it is also 16 long volumes / 4 anime seasons of this exact theme as a hapless Japanese-salesman-turned-Skeletor tries desperately to live up to his increasingly-genocidally-inclined demonic minions’ expectations. Completely fucking up every goddamn time only to pratfall into stunning success and ensuing cheers of “as Lord Ainz planned all along!” over the background screams of innocent humans humanoids.

Should you - or anyone - read/watch it? I have no goddamn idea. It practically defines love/hate relationship with a fictional series for me. But somebody should’ve edited it, at some point.)
posted by Ryvar at 4:35 PM on February 18, 2023

I see this warlord has access to the Game of Thrones teleporter. Fast work! And impressive payoff, well done Warlord.
posted by mersen at 4:59 PM on February 18, 2023

CheshireCat, thank you, that was amazing.
posted by brainwane at 11:40 AM on February 27, 2023