Fun outings for visitors with limited mobility

April 1, 2023 1:27 PM

"When I am skimming through the various San Francisco related subreddits, there’s one kind of post guaranteed to get me commenting. It’s when someone asks for tips on where to bring their relatives who are elderly and frail and coming for a visit. The responses are almost uniformly ridiculous." Wheelchair user and disability activist Liz Henry breaks down eight assumptions, and offers ten suggestions for "Fun outings for visitors with limited mobility" plus five ideas for at-home activities.

Disclaimer: Liz (previously) is a friend of mine.

posted by brainwane (18 comments total)

This is a FANTASTIC set of ideas to think with. My sister, her wife, their toddler, and their infant came to visit me last fall, and I was deeply humbled in looking through what we might be able to do together. Car seats and cabs don’t mix; riding public transit *can* work, but rides need to be brief and non-stop. Would the children’s science museum *really* be that fun for a toddler? Once they arrived, my sister was stressed to realize that SF doesn’t have a lot of chain restaurants where we could just pop in to grab some mac and cheese on the go for toddler meltdowns. Lots I had to learn.

The advice Liz gives is curb-cut powerfully generalizable, too - instead of planning for what we think visitors ought to do or what might impress them, we can ask what would be most meaningful for the time we’re going to share together. MMMM. Thank you for sharing!
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 2:13 PM on April 1, 2023 [7 favorites]

Yes, this but for my teenager with an invisible disability. People assume she is lazy, till she passes out from pushing herself too hard.

And it gets harder because cities hate homeless people so much they get rid of anywhere someone could sit or rest. Good luck finding benches or chairs or even steps or ledges. And even if you buy something restaurants don't want you to sit too long either, especially if you're putting your head between your knees to breathe.
posted by emjaybee at 2:20 PM on April 1, 2023 [20 favorites]

Lovejoy's is awesome but super small and super cramped/packed with people and furniture and tables, and I can't even imagine getting a wheelchair in through the door, much less to the bathroom. We brought someone with a walker last time and that was bad enough. I'm surprised anyone suggests Lovejoy's for anyone with mobility issues? I wouldn't suggest any of the tiny small restaurants with one locked bathroom with a key in SF either, oy.

Sounds like the overall advice is "do very little." I would guess people feel obligated to take people to the cool stuff in SF, but it's probably overly strenuous in general there between the hills and the people and the transport, etc.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:30 PM on April 1, 2023

jenfullmoon, did you read Henry's description of the outings she was recommending?

So what would I suggest in the cases where someone is visiting and has limited mobility, but no assistive device other than our friend, the automobile? I suggest the following, because these are things that I like to do, and can do, when I’m not walking well but also not using my wheelchair (usually because I don’t feel like loading a giant power chair in and out of the car trunk).

So, she is specifically not designing these particular recommendations around the idea that someone is using a walker or wheelchair. And this is, of course, just one set of recommendations for a particular set of constraints. Her san francisco, BART, bay area, exploring, travel, and disability tags include some reports and recommendations in the context of her wheelchair use.
posted by brainwane at 3:24 PM on April 1, 2023 [4 favorites]

instead of planning for what we think visitors ought to do or what might impress them, we can ask what would be most meaningful for the time we’re going to share together

Unless your relative with limited mobility only answers “whatever you want” and then is passive-aggressive about your choices, or maybe just flat out rude about the needs you failed to know about even though you asked multiple, specific questions.

Snark aside this challenge is very real in DC even without getting into family dynamics. The museums are huge, the monuments all have big setbacks from the nearest sidewalk or parking (if you can find parking at all), and (as I’ve pointed out in multiple AskMe threads over the years) the Mall is nearly three miles walking from the Lincoln Memorial to the Capitol Building. Even if you’re willing to pay for taxis everywhere (which adds up fast) you’re quickly going to exceed people’s limits. We try very hard to do stuff people want without wearing them out, but the struggle is real.
posted by fedward at 3:57 PM on April 1, 2023 [8 favorites]

I was wondering why someone else (not her suggestion) had suggested Lovejoy's in the first place for anyone with mobility issues. I apologize though, clearly I got this wrong.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:00 PM on April 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

@jenfullmoon Last couple of times I was at Lovejoy's it had a fair amount of outdoor parklet space, very wheelchairable! But it may be different when the city starts cracking down on parklet regulations.
posted by geeklizzard at 4:08 PM on April 1, 2023

The article's right about the Sutro Baths, up above the Cliff House. If the crowds are thin and the weather nice that place can be glorious, with wide, low concrete walls to sit on steps from parking. Another optimal location to just sit and enjoy is the far side of the Golden Gate Bridge, there's a couple benches up there you can park right next to; but at times the tourists are too thick for easy navigation.
posted by Rash at 7:15 PM on April 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

When I was getting ready to leave NYC a bit less than thirty years ago, I came up with a whole bunch of things for my older brother, who is not disabled but was not used to as much walking as I was after a year and change in the city, to do in the couple of days that he'd spend there before helping me load up the moving truck, and after a few hours of our scurrying hither and yon, he told me to dial it down considerably. We had more fun with about half the things on my list. Some thirteen or so years later, I exhausted myself trying to do much the same in Chicago for someone visiting from out of town. And I took a solo visit to DC several years ago and ran into precisely the same problem as fedward describes above; Steve Rogers may do laps around the National Mall, but he's Captain America.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:24 PM on April 1, 2023

I agree with the assumptions in the assumptions section, and I liked that there was an "ideas for not going out" section, but the fun outings section was motor normative, and not all people who have limited mobility participate in car culture. So I want to share some (mostly bike-centric) of what can be possible under some circumstances for some people more likely to be at some other points on the limited mobility spectrum than the ones focused on in this article.

I have not had a guest with a 100-foot-limit. So I can't speak to that. But I do know that not all people with limited mobility can drive or want to drive or be driven in a private massive motor vehicle to get around or can afford the participate in a "just call a cab!" or car-based lifestyle.

Me and my partner did a lot of hosting when we lived in Portland before the pandemic. A LOT of hosting. WWOOf/couchsurfing/warm showers (plus family and friends). I stopped reading profiles. If we had the space and it was clear that they had read our profile, they were welcome to come stay. One morning, we woke up to discover we had a guest with a wheelchair. Our profile described how in/accessible where we lived was, and so she came to stay with us for a week. Anyway, she used our guest bike to go do tourism. Recumbent bikes are better than upright bikes for at least some people with POTS, I think because your head is positioned above your heart.

One older guest, at our recommendation, opted not to rent a car because transit was so good in Portland and it was going to take us just as long to bike anywhere to meet her as it would for her to catch transit. She went on the back of the recumbent tandem with it was time to go to the airport.

One time, me and my partner were riding the recumbent tandem and we were riding through a big box car parking lot. Someone with a broken hip and several large bags full of cans hitched a ride. It was 5 minutes to closing time at the bottle deposit return station across the lot. She rode side-saddle on the back of the tandem and I walked the cans over, and she was able to make it there before they closed.

One time, we had a guest whose wife wanted to hike up to the rose garden from downtown. Famously steep hill. So we did that. I had my recumbent bike with me. Turns out he has bad knees. Uphill is fine! Downhill is a major problem. We put him on my recumbent and he had his first pain-free bike ride (back issues, too) in many years.

I know of at least two people who use recumbent bikes or trikes as mobility devices. No, lots more: I remember when I was traveling in Nicaragua seeing people using recumbents and trikes as mobility devices.

Adaptive cycles is a whole thing, entire businesses and non profits have been built around building custom adaptive cycles for people.

I chatted with a homeless mechanic a while back who had congenital spinal problems and who was on the lookout for a recumbent trike to increase mobility from the wheelchair he was using.

My knees would bother me when I biked the long hill back to where I lived in Portland from my job downtown. This was a knee problem, not a bike-specific problem. So I started riding public transit more often. My partner got me an e-assist bike and my radius for how far I could bike grew again.

I see people around here riding around on mobility scooters on the car-free bike paths.

Here is a video on micro-cars in Amsterdam. One that has been around since the 90s is called the Canta and it is a mobility device. They even offer a version that you can roll a wheelchair right into.

In the video, they talk about how micro cars are more of a thing in Amsterdam because the infrastructure supports them. Infrastructure that makes micromobility possible is beneficial for people with limited mobility. Very much this:

And it gets harder because cities hate homeless people so much they get rid of anywhere someone could sit or rest. Good luck finding benches or chairs or even steps or ledges.

Compare and contrast:
- public space used for transporting motor vehicles vs public space used for transporting everyone else
- area dedicated to car parking vs area dedicated to pedestrian parking (benches)
- availability of car parking vs that of public parks

Creating infrastructure that makes it realistic for people to have the option to have reasonable alternatives to cars will benefit everyone, including and especially people with limited mobility.
posted by aniola at 11:08 PM on April 1, 2023 [10 favorites]

Oh god YES. Somebody gets it. I went to visit family earlier this year, and said a couple of times not to plan anything for the day after the flight, because I knew I would be exhausted. That got completely ignored, and they planned a full day of activities, including a trip to the aquarium and a extended family dinner at a restaurant. I protested that it was too much too soon, but they guilt tripped me, and then completely ignored me during the dinner. Put me at a separate table too far away to participate in any conversation, and right in a draft so I had a cold wind blowing down my neck the whole time. I don't know they insisted I be there.

Next day I was coughing up blood from all the time without humidification. Never again! I am done humoring them. Please take your disabled relatives seriously when they say they don't have the energy for something.
posted by Soliloquy at 2:50 AM on April 2, 2023 [15 favorites]

I can't even imagine getting a wheelchair in through the door, much less to the bathroom.

I haven’t been to Lovejoy’s (or indeed San Francisco) but I am reminded that a breakfast place I like in Montreal which has all its bathrooms — including the ones for disabled patrons — on the second floor, up a narrow wrought-iron staircase.

I ask you.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:47 AM on April 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

I haven’t been to Lovejoy’s (or indeed San Francisco) but I am reminded that a breakfast place I like in Montreal which has all its bathrooms — including the ones for disabled patrons — on the second floor, up a narrow wrought-iron staircase.

I have recently been in several quite nice restaurants that happened to have their bathrooms down steep stairs in the basement. Aside from being kind of creepy, there's such a long list of people who would find that unwelcoming and inaccessible. (In fairness, these are old downtown buildings and I am sure that the cost of moving bathrooms upstairs would be huge. But still.)
posted by Dip Flash at 6:33 AM on April 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Some more things I've done with visitors with limited mobility. (My mother-in-law's boyfriend had severe COPD and the 100 foot limit was real.)

The USS San Francisco Memorial. An overlook on the west end of San Francisco, for one of the highly decorated ships of WWII. Not recommended on a very windy day, but easy access and a large parking lot.

The Buena Vista cafe (credited with introducing Irish coffee to the United States in 1952.) Sit at the bar and watch the Irish Coffee assembly technique. Don't wait for a table; lines are usually very long.

If they are up for driving around, avoid Lombard street and try Vermont Street between 20th and 23rd streets on Potrero Hill. It's more twisty, and not as crowded.

The steepest streets in San Francisco. A drive down one of those streets is impressive, if you are a passenger. Don't torture a visitor by making them drive these streets.

The Ferry Building, especially on Saturdays, has a large farmer's market, many food shops, and some places to sit while exploring. Not great, but not bad.

I agree with the comments on Ferries to Sausalito, Tiburon, etc. Long lines, and when you get to the destination(s) most interesting things are more than 100 feet from the dock. Don't bother if someone can't stand for relatively long periods of time. Drive to Sausalito and park instead.
posted by blob at 6:41 AM on April 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

This this thread is mostly about mobility, but noise was mentioned, and I'm saying that noise can be a big deal. Background noise that most people can handle can make conversation difficult to impossible for me, and too much noise or loud music can be exhausting in itself.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 7:23 AM on April 2, 2023 [9 favorites]

There's also people whose mobility is limited by bathroom availability as in, "I may need the bathroom at any moment". Public parks can be good for that, but only if their bathrooms exist and aren't closed for the season or forever.
posted by aniola at 9:07 AM on April 2, 2023 [5 favorites]

In fairness, these are old downtown buildings and I am sure that the cost of moving bathrooms upstairs would be huge. But still.

Traditionally, any question that begins, “Why don’t they...?” is usually answered, “Money.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:33 PM on April 2, 2023

Henry talked with readers in the comments on her blog, and responded to someone who wanted to better understand why "rent a wheelchair" advice might not work for many visitors. In her comment she shared history and context for her own wheelchair use, and the questions and fears she notices when older people see her in a powerchair and consider how a powerchair might improve their own mobility or the mobility of someone they love.
posted by brainwane at 3:26 AM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]