Man awakens from 7-year coma.

September 11, 2002 7:02 AM

Man awakens from 7-year coma. Peter Sana of Honolulu, Hawaii, finally began responding to human interaction last month after slipping into a Meningitis-related coma in 1995. Peter, we've got some good news... aaaaaaaaaand some bad news...
posted by XQUZYPHYR (55 comments total)

After being gorked out for seven years and regaining conciousness, is there really any BAD news?
posted by shagoth at 7:04 AM on September 11, 2002

So do you tell him about OJ being innocent first or Sept 11th 2001 first?
posted by vbfg at 7:07 AM on September 11, 2002

Kent: Tonight, on Eyewitness News: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Man: Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?
Kent: No, uh, she won an Oscar, and he's a Congressman.
Man: Good night!
[turns over and dies]
posted by ColdChef at 7:14 AM on September 11, 2002

"Hey, remember George Bush?"
posted by PrinceValium at 7:14 AM on September 11, 2002

Remember our last one-term president? Yup. His kid's in charge now.
posted by adampsyche at 7:15 AM on September 11, 2002

"Huh?? George Bush is President? Oh my god, I've gone back in time!!!"


"oh, nuh no, it's his son, you know, the one from TX"

"Oh crap, wake me up in another 7 years"
posted by Blake at 7:17 AM on September 11, 2002

"The millennium Bash? Eh. It was okay."
posted by ColdChef at 7:18 AM on September 11, 2002

And also:

Bill Clinton was impeached.

The last presidential election took 36 days to resolve.

Princess Diana died.

Hillary Clinton's a U.S. senator now.

We're in a recession again.

"Friends" is still on.
posted by Tin Man at 7:20 AM on September 11, 2002

"Dude...you're not going to believe what happened to President Clinton."

(curse you, Tin Man)
posted by ColdChef at 7:21 AM on September 11, 2002

"so how much does a shiny new flying car cost?
posted by 10sball at 7:24 AM on September 11, 2002

"Your stocks made you a multi-millionaire, but you slept through it."
posted by ?! at 7:30 AM on September 11, 2002

HAHAHAHAHA! And now you're broke again.
posted by ColdChef at 7:33 AM on September 11, 2002

?! wins...
posted by Tin Man at 7:43 AM on September 11, 2002

pfffft. This story is so 1820...
posted by crunchland at 7:47 AM on September 11, 2002

That's right. A $3000 scooter.
posted by adampsyche at 7:50 AM on September 11, 2002

"No, no. It's 'ARE BELONG TO US'! Yeah, the grammar is supposed to be screwy..."
posted by Danelope at 7:55 AM on September 11, 2002

besides all the wacky and terrible things, there's also good things to tell him about, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. and when did pokemon debut in the U.S. again?
posted by tolkhan at 8:05 AM on September 11, 2002

"Wait... Rosie's gay? But she likes Tom Cruise!"
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:08 AM on September 11, 2002

"Let me tell you about this thing called the 'Y2K bug'..."
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:08 AM on September 11, 2002

"Whitewater...cattle futures...zzz...snort...cough...wha...where am I?"
posted by Dean King at 8:10 AM on September 11, 2002

"They make brooms that vibrate now! You know, for kids!"
posted by turaho at 8:14 AM on September 11, 2002

"Wait, AOL is up to version 7.0? Wow. I bet it's better than ever, and easier to use."
posted by cortex at 8:16 AM on September 11, 2002

Yes, that is Billy Joel.
posted by dydecker at 8:17 AM on September 11, 2002

Just tell him what the most popular tv show is. That'll send him back into his coma toot sweet.
posted by jonmc at 8:29 AM on September 11, 2002

"Yes, that is Michael Jackson."
posted by grum@work at 8:29 AM on September 11, 2002

"Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME, Windows 2000, Windows XP...I think that's all of them."

"So computers must be super simple to use now, right?"

"Ehh..."
posted by grum@work at 8:31 AM on September 11, 2002

Things I'd like to tell this guy about: The rise of the internet. When boy bands roamed the earth. 2 new Star Wars movies. Reality television. Ice on Mars. Cloning.
posted by nemesis at 8:36 AM on September 11, 2002

Well, to tell you the truth, partying like it was 1999 was much like partying like it was 1994.
posted by Fabulon7 at 8:50 AM on September 11, 2002

Haha. The levity is great, but really, isn't just being alive enough? Little stuff like operating systems and governments hardly compare to just being alive. We bury ourselves in our daily anxieties and forget that just getting to be here participating is a huge privilege. Sure, we have lived through the last seven years, but this guy has WAY more hardship to work through than we can imagine from reabilitating a seven-year deconditioned body to figuring out how to get by having been out of the loop for that long. I bet he's not terribly concerned about Osama and HIV and Star Wars and OJ. His worries are about the things that he's lost without getting to lose them, friends and family, and pounding out his new life. I can't even begin to imagine that the mundanities of Internet memes even matters at all to him.
posted by shagoth at 8:50 AM on September 11, 2002

DVD
posted by anapestic at 9:08 AM on September 11, 2002

Imagine looking at yourself in the morning and the next time you wake up you don't look the same. He's going to be seeing an older face in the mirror. His parents will probably show the changes of those 7 years even more than he does. That's got to take some getting used to.
posted by onhazier at 9:17 AM on September 11, 2002

Oh, umm.. hey, shagoth, my cornflakes don't seem to have enough piss in them this morning, do you mind?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:32 AM on September 11, 2002

TIVO!
posted by phooey at 9:53 AM on September 11, 2002

A friend of mine once contracted meningitis. She went into a coma but fortunately only for 4-5 days. Then she woke up and fully recovered. Later we were joking with her that she found the best excuse not to show up for an important oral exam at the university.
posted by neu at 9:55 AM on September 11, 2002

My boyfriend's grandfather became sick and slipped into a coma shortly after he enlisted for WWII. He didn't come out until late '45.
posted by teenydreams at 10:10 AM on September 11, 2002

sometimes i kind of want to slip into a coma for seven years myself...
posted by mjane at 10:14 AM on September 11, 2002

Don't forget the Browns left Cleveland for Baltimore, only to be reborn as an expansion team named....the Browns.

And subsequently the Browns, err...Ravens, later won the Super Bowl.
posted by gwong at 10:46 AM on September 11, 2002

*Beep* You. Have. < zero>. Messages. *Beep*

Sigh...
posted by hotdoughnutsnow at 11:15 AM on September 11, 2002

I had the same virus, and was comatose to the point that they thought I was dead. But because this condition takes the longest to diagnose they didn't find it till later, yet my white cell count was so high to my red cell that medically I was dead. As for this I was a health issue so they were going to cure my body weather alive or dead, and that saved me. After I woke after several days from being in a coma I had no bad memories and if I did there was no anguish about them. Yet it takes time to realize the little things you have forgotten. Best thing your filled with a new sense of life, as nothing bad about it. Him being in Hawaii and its life style will help his recovery. \!!!/

PS, before going comatose, I was paralyzed, and my words were garbled, yet I knew what was up, I'm a vegetable and I know it, yet everyone thinks, he is out of it, no problem for him.
posted by thomcatspike at 11:26 AM on September 11, 2002

The Rams? They won the Super Bowl two years ago.

Coma Guy's response: You're fucking shitting me.
posted by lannie628 at 11:52 AM on September 11, 2002

I've already made a couple jokes about this, but if I have to be serious, this is it: I'm not sure I expect people to leave me in a coma for that long. I'm damn sure I wouldn't want my wife to suffer with waiting/hoping/caring and basically putting her life on hold for seven years.
posted by grum@work at 11:56 AM on September 11, 2002

Has anybody checked to see if this guy can tell the future?

Could come in handy these days. "Mr. Vice-President, Mr. Secretary ... the missiles are flying. Hallelujah. Hallelujah."
posted by chuq at 12:27 PM on September 11, 2002

"Metafilter? No, I don't want any coffee."
posted by trioperative at 12:33 PM on September 11, 2002

Hey who was that guy - meybe six or seven years ago - that woke from a coma that lasted about the same amount of time, but thing is, after he'd awoken, greeted and talked with his family for the afternoon, his Doctors advised him he needed "just one more operation" - that he died of.

I've googled but can't find an answer. Any takers?
posted by Mutant at 12:46 PM on September 11, 2002

"While in your prolonged nap, you missed Napster."
posted by murmur at 12:47 PM on September 11, 2002

tcs: before going comatose ... my words were garbled

sometimes, i love you.
posted by tolkhan at 1:16 PM on September 11, 2002

Shades of "Sleeper":

Well, fat is good for you now. Carbs are bad.

No, wait ...
posted by Songdog at 1:20 PM on September 11, 2002

Any medical people know if there is a protocol for treating long comatose patients? I am sure they don't just let anyone tell him nilly-willy what has happened over the past 7 years. He would probably go nuts, commit suicide, or whatever, if they let all the info go in unfiltered...
posted by internal at 1:25 PM on September 11, 2002

Man. This makes three or four Hawaii-related MeFi FPPs in a month. It's beginning to feel like... like Florida out here. I'll take a 7-year coma over a lost dog any day, though.
posted by pzarquon at 1:26 PM on September 11, 2002

They could tell him we had flying cars for a while in the late nineties, but they sucked, so we destroyed all evidence of them. Ha ha. Oh man.
posted by hellinskira at 1:32 PM on September 11, 2002

"Nah, it's OK to go out, people won't make fun of you. We've come a long way since 1995."
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:41 PM on September 11, 2002

"How long was I asleep for, doc?"
"One hundred and nineteen... well, almost two hours. Here's your ex-wife."
"My ex-wife?"
"I had to move on with my life!"
"But I was only in a coma for 2 hours!"

(Anyone remember that State sketch I just horribly mangled?)
posted by Hildago at 5:46 PM on September 11, 2002

?! still wins.
posted by ColdChef at 5:57 PM on September 11, 2002

At any rate, what the Internet has become, and the prevalence of cell phones will be two things he may find fascinating. Also...

"Oh...yeah, yeah...Yeltsin's out, and an ex KGB officer is the President of Russia...and we're better friends than ever!"

"Yeah! Can you believe it!? Jesse Ventura!! Who knew!?"

"Yep. 2 more Star Wars Movies and another one on the way..."
posted by ruggles at 9:16 PM on September 11, 2002

"They turned Dude, Where's My Car into a MOVIE? Did they keep all the good parts from the book?!"
posted by Hildago at 3:00 PM on September 14, 2002