It’s Boring and Isolating, Bring Ice Cream!

July 18, 2023 7:58 PM

What to Get for a Cancer Patient You may have heard Hank Green of the vlog brothers has cancer. His video about what to get a cancer patient is sweet and insightful with some really good advice. If someone you know has a chronic illness, this has some excellent thoughts about how to make them feel cared for.
posted by Bottlecap (10 comments total)

Some 20 years ago I was having some issues with colorectal cancer and had to go in and get a some medical device inserted in the back door to see what the doctors could do.

My housemates and I had watched the movie Evolution a few days earlier and there is a scene in that movie where one of the characters has an alien in him and they remove it via his ass. After it is over he asks for an ice cream, for his ass.

I get home from my procedure and my two goofy housemates are waiting with big grins on their face as they hand me a pint of Ben & Jerrys.

Humor helps a lot when you are dealing with that sort of stuff.
posted by Dirk at 9:29 PM on July 18, 2023 [29 favorites]

I love both hank and john Greene. The best line about hanks diagnosis on their podcast was something to the effect that clearly Hank had failed to do enough yoga. Their are legitimately the two nicest most sincere humans on earth.
posted by Keith Talent at 9:53 PM on July 18, 2023 [8 favorites]

For me, the advice that includes "this is what EVERYONE wants!" was especially impactful.

Those Greens just continue to hit on all levels. They're literally the inverse of everything those fuckin' Paul brothers have ever done (and, let's be fair, will ever do)
posted by revmitcz at 3:01 AM on July 19, 2023 [4 favorites]

I hadn't heard, but them using the diagnosis to help other people seems 110% on-brand for their combination of kind and smart.

Godspeed, Hank.
posted by wenestvedt at 4:56 AM on July 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

This was great and useful, thanks for posting it.

(Also, see John's video from last week about Johnson&Johnson using bullshit to extend their 20-year-old patent for a lifesaving resistant tuberculosis drug, and the need to keep up the pressure on them to release details about their sudden reversal on their bullshit after the news went viral.)
posted by mediareport at 5:17 AM on July 19, 2023 [7 favorites]

I've know about "vlog brothers" forever, but never paid attention until I listened to a few episodes of their podcast "Dear Hank and John."

They are kind to each other, and kind to others, and they care about art and science. They are good.
posted by rebent at 5:30 AM on July 19, 2023 [4 favorites]

Thiings that made a difference to my husband near the end: arranging to hang out. Letting him give advice about things (how to run a business, for instance, or how to catheterize). Gossiping about people, politics, and television shows you both liked. Asking if you could bring something to drink (V-8, milkshake) when you were stopping by. Having a furtive cigarette with him because he was hiding from me that he had gone back to smoking. Listening with your full attention to him even though at the end he wasn't making any sense.

Things that made a difference to me: arranging with me and him for you to hang out for a few hours so I could for god's sake finally run some errands. Setting up a MealTrain (though he couldn't eat any of it and I couldn't eat some of it, it was nice not to have to think about food). Sneaking a cigarette with him on the front step instead of inside so it wouldn't trigger my asthma.

Things that made me white-hot with rage: Trying to visit when you were still testing positive for COVID. Showing up unannounced at the hospice clinic, holding his hand, and announcing to me that he seemed to know they were there. Making it about you. Looking for sympathy from me for your feelings.
posted by Peach at 6:03 AM on July 19, 2023 [56 favorites]

(Also, see John's video from last week about Johnson&Johnson using bullshit to extend their 20-year-old patent yt for a lifesaving resistant tuberculosis drug, and the need to keep up the pressure on them to release details about their sudden reversal on their bullshit after the news went viral.)

And don't miss this followup video from a few days later, where it looks like the immediate pressure on J&J had a surprisingly demonstrable effect! (and also, spoiler, good news for Hank's diagnosis)
posted by FatherDagon at 10:36 AM on July 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

Thank you for posting this, Bottlecap, and to everyone with comments on personal experiences. I've a dear friend undergoing surgery soon who's asked for some of these things-- meal delivery, etc-- some of which I can help with, some I can't (visiting in person). But I did realize we'd spoken about making replacement tags for chinese iron bells, and because I've been making cards for the MeFi monthly card swap, I can send the off-cut pieces with some art supplies. So my paper collection will be of some use!
posted by winesong at 1:57 PM on July 19, 2023 [1 favorite]

[wrong window - sorry to abuse the edit feature]
posted by nixxon at 1:31 PM on July 22, 2023