Worst First Date

September 1, 2023 5:01 AM

Let's feast! (single link to reddit video post)
posted by the primroses were over (32 comments total)

I love the bit where she exaggeratedly turns left at the stop sign.

Have a nice weekend -may it involve funny stories and no terrible dates!
posted by the primroses were over at 5:04 AM on September 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

I give this video 100 hard shell tacos
posted by chavenet at 5:05 AM on September 1, 2023 [7 favorites]

This appears to be super old, but I guess I am not online enough to have seen it before. Here's Elyse Myers' tiktok for more recent stuff.

Mods, feel free to delete if a double. I didn't find anything obvious, but I also did not put in much effort.
posted by the primroses were over at 5:16 AM on September 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Points for answering questions at the end, because most of those questions immediately popped into my head as she told the story. Points off because (for me) the sound was way out of sync and I had just been watching other videos where the sound was fine. I've been on unremarkable dates, and have been on one bad one, but nothing worth a story.
posted by SoberHighland at 5:20 AM on September 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Had a fdate long long ago where the young lady, a writer, described her worst. Her fdate was dieting and proceeded to inject himself with something and not eat anything but water. What was fun about my experience is that awhile later I read an article (the Phoenix) about bad first dates and that story was one of the highlights.
posted by sammyo at 5:21 AM on September 1, 2023

I was sure I would be able to top anyone's bad first date story. I was mistaken.
posted by pangolin party at 6:22 AM on September 1, 2023 [6 favorites]

The Q&A section is even better than the story: terminating each answer by shutting off the phone is pretty great.

(MetaFilter: I didn't find anything obvious, but I also did not put in much effort.)
posted by wenestvedt at 6:29 AM on September 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

This is going to be my mental example whenever I see advice online about "just get out there and go on dates"...it could end in hard shell tacos, a lot of hard shell tacos. Life might be too short.
posted by winesong at 6:30 AM on September 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

Taco dude has kind of a genius approach, in a certain way. One bad (from the woman's perspective) or great (from his perspective) first date every couple of weeks should cover his entire food budget aside from beer, milk, and cereal. I wonder what his success rate is with this.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:31 AM on September 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

I like Elyse Myers weird vibe and hope that she's happy and enjoying everything she does, but she is fun to watch.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:34 AM on September 1, 2023 [3 favorites]

somewhere out there is a tiktok with a guy describing the time he convinced some girl he met online to buy him one hundred hard shell tacos. I wonder what their Q&A is like. "Question: did you eat all the tacos? No. I shared a couple with my dad, but when she left she took the tacos with her. I have no idea what she did with the remaining ninety hard shell tacos." [makes tiktok thoughtful comedy face at camera]
posted by phooky at 6:48 AM on September 1, 2023 [7 favorites]

I love Elyse Myers, she is an amazingly talented storyteller. She also seems very genuine, funny, and has a great singing voice too. I follow her on Insta, and her content is a delight.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 6:54 AM on September 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

Metafilter: I didn't find anything obvious, but I also did not put in much effort.
posted by heyitsgogi at 7:19 AM on September 1, 2023 [6 favorites]

Ah, wenestvedt beat me to it!
posted by heyitsgogi at 7:22 AM on September 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

This is from 2021, but I also just saw it (on Facebook) for the first time two days ago on Facebook, so perhaps it's having a well-deserved second life.

Her mention of the possibility that he's a serial killer reminds me of the "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." I'm glad that only one of those occurred in this case.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:35 AM on September 1, 2023 [4 favorites]

I can’t be arsed to QA why my iPad is simply not playing this video on Reddit. Maybe it’s an intentional choice, maybe they got an issue, maybe it’s me… dammit I’m doing the QA…it’s feeling like work
posted by zenon at 7:53 AM on September 1, 2023

I had a first date where my date casually mentioned she had just gotten bailed out of jail for a felony, and I think her date was worse.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:14 AM on September 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

I would never have gone as far as she did, but the sunk cost fallacy on first dates is SO REAL. It's very easy to convince ourselves that everything is fine!
posted by metasarah at 8:42 AM on September 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

I was able to make a laptop work- and the video was totally worth it.

goes off to view tiktoc videos....

...wait now safari on desktop is always muted if I'm not logged into tiktoc??

just kidding. I already knew that - it's why Firefox is my bestie
posted by zenon at 8:55 AM on September 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

the sunk cost fallacy on first dates is SO REAL. It's very easy to convince ourselves that everything is fine!

I once matched with a woman whose profile said she was X years old in the header, X+2 in the text, and in a private message she referred to herself as having been born in a decade that indicated she was at least X+6. I told myself age didn't matter so I let that slide and agreed to meet at a bar.

She was an hour late and in the meantime, a lovely woman started chatting me up and I dutifully told her I was waiting for someone. Should have just bailed. The woman showed eventually and also turned out to have been lying about marital status (not divorced, separated, and recently), job (none), and several other things. I went back to that bar three times in the next week hoping to meet the other woman I clearly should have blown the Internet date off for, to no avail.

Normalize bailing on bad dates.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:15 AM on September 1, 2023 [13 favorites]

She was an hour late and in the meantime, a lovely woman started chatting me up and I dutifully told her I was waiting for someone. Should have just bailed

Damn, had one of these too.
posted by The Power Nap at 10:09 AM on September 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

I’ve either got DoT and TPN beat… or possibly I was on the other side of one of their date mixups back in the day.

I matched back in my PhD with a guy and we decided to meet up at a very loud Cuban (?) restaurant in maybe Wicker Park. (They had great mojitos, is what I remember.) We met up in the very loud waiting area.

I remember thinking, “wow, he’s a lot better looking than his profile photo!”

We get seated. Then after a few polite questions about when I moved to Chicago and how I liked it, he started asking me about law school.

“Law school? I’m a sociologist.”

Reader, it was not my date. He was there to meet a woman who was friends with his roommate or starting a job or something.

I’ll leave the awkward image of realizing this with a few more questions, getting up from the table, and finding our actual dinner company back in the lobby as an exercise for the reader.

*My date, who was late getting to the restaurant, closely resembled his profile photo and was definitely not as strong a conversationalist as the not-date guy. Too bad the other guy didn’t give me his card - I definitely would have called or, more likely, emailed him.
posted by ec2y at 5:46 AM on September 2, 2023 [7 favorites]

I love this story, ec2y.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:50 AM on September 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

AMAZING. This is some a+ storytelling. I have definitely been on some dates I looked back on thinking “and after that, I … didn’t bail? And after that … still not bailing? Oh that too? Huh.” But I’ve got nothing on this tale.

On the plus side, tacos.
posted by obfuscation at 6:18 AM on September 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

As an almost professional-level cynic, I'm not buying this story. At the point after the order had been placed and she drove up to the window and discovered he didn't have any money (long before 100 tacos would have been made and ready for collection), why wouldn't she have said, sorry, cancel the order.

It's an interesting, mildly entertaining story, but it's just that... a story.
posted by essexjan at 9:12 AM on September 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Agree to disagree.
posted by obfuscation at 9:55 AM on September 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

As an almost professional-level cynic, I'm not buying this story. At the point after the order had been placed and she drove up to the window and discovered he didn't have any money (long before 100 tacos would have been made and ready for collection), why wouldn't she have said, sorry, cancel the order.

Without taking a stance either way on if the story is told factually or not, paying $140 for someone else's tacos is really mild compared to the kinds of things people end up going along with on dates.
posted by Dip Flash at 10:06 AM on September 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

I'll share my own:

Back in the day, I came across a woman in a restaurant near my work. She was quite beautiful, and unaccountably attentive--completely out of my league--but I gave it a shot and asked her out to dinner.

The following Friday, we meet at a pretty nice seafood restaurant. The waiter brought us our menus, but she never picked hers up. When the waiter came back to see if we were ready to order, she nodded, and said "I'll have the most expensive thing on the menu." I was a little shellshocked, ordered Scampi, and the waiter left.

I must have given her some kind of look, because she said "if you didn't think I was worth it, you shouldn't have asked me out." I was a little stupefied, excused myself to go to the bathroom, found the waiter and asked him to cancel the dinner order, and paid for the drinks. Then I went home, leaving her there.
posted by curtm at 1:34 PM on September 2, 2023 [5 favorites]

I met an internet date for coffee before going to a movie. We were sitting at a two-top and she sat at a 45° angle and wouldn't look at me very much. It was so rude it didn't hurt my feelings and was kind of funny.

So we went to the movie. I forgot which movie, but it was a slower-paced drama I really wanted to see. During the movie she audibly sighed several times, and as soon as the credits started she popped up and wanted to leave. I was sitting closer to the aisle, though, so I made her wait so I could watch the credits. Then we parted and I went home happy I had a story.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:34 PM on September 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

A friend of mine one had a date who stopped for a coke deal on the way to dinner.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:35 PM on September 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

I guess that's a pretty good way to screen for if your date is your kind of party person or not!
posted by Dysk at 3:20 PM on September 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Horrible without context.... but....

I once went out with this virgin who had an unpenetratable hymen. We stopped, She went to the health center the next day and the doctor was like "yep, that would have been horrible" and with some local went snip-snip-snip and told her to wait a few days and then have some fun.

My 21st birthday party was huge. We were having a kegger and had told the rest of the complex and many of them also had their own kegger. The whole complex was a huge party.

Virgin girl came back that night.... I had the cute co-worker that I'd been actually wooing all semester and finally had shown up.

Two girls. One I count on the one hand of "she can be pissed off at me, no real argument there".

Would turn out the same way even today, (shakes fist at universe).
posted by zengargoyle at 12:20 AM on September 3, 2023