...boasts a modern-day 1/16-scale likeness of the Great Pyramd of Giza

November 7, 2023 9:26 AM

A very special property in British Columbia's Agricultural Land Reserve.
posted by seanmpuckett (20 comments total)

What are the squares on the ground in the tanning bed room?
posted by tofu_crouton at 9:39 AM on November 7, 2023

I thought it was going to be this pyramid, which is used to store wine in Summerland (not too far away) and is an 8% replica of the same pyramid, so a little bigger. I guess people in BC just like their pyramids.
posted by ssg at 9:41 AM on November 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

The perfect blend of hunting lodge / grandma’s house / hippie sex cult.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 10:04 AM on November 7, 2023 [6 favorites]

In case you haven't clicked through it all yet, I need to emphasize that the pyramid is shingled.

There is a lot a lot going on here, and some of it is quite subtle. Like, on one hand it's all super clean and staged, but also there's, like... a room with a wall of diplomas, some galaxy-brain art, and a mattress and pillows on the floor. The books on the bookshelves in the entrance hall all have blue bindings. There are doilies. A lot of stereo equipment which was very expensive in 1992. Sort of cheap-looking cabinetry, and... a sauna? A giant swimming pool with another pyramid at the end? Interior stained glass windows. A well organized workshop in the garage. There's a lot of crystals in the pyramid, and upstairs a kind of... throne? With wires running into it, and also into pads where you'd put your feet? And there's also a little shrine?

It's like they were running a weird, small-scale immortality cult where they tried to cover all the bases. There's definitely a strong "fear of death" vibe running through every fiber of this place. Did it work? Is this house on the market because the previous owners actually ascended?

The squares in the tanning bed room are mysterious but have greasy stains that look like they might match how someone might sit on them and meditate for hours on end.
posted by phooky at 10:27 AM on November 7, 2023 [4 favorites]

Why is it the money, intelligence, and good taste have no intersection??
posted by BlueHorse at 10:39 AM on November 7, 2023 [3 favorites]

on a scale from middle-of-the-road mcmansion to kaleidescope death-cult, how are we all doing today
posted by mhoye at 10:44 AM on November 7, 2023 [3 favorites]

And here I was, thinking it would be the pyramid on Rattlesnake Island. Maybe BC does have an unusual number of pyramids.
posted by whm at 10:50 AM on November 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

I thought it was going to be this pyramid, which is used to store wine in Summerland (not too far away) and is an 8% replica of the same pyramid, so a little bigger. I guess people in BC just like their pyramids.

I thought about the pyramid at Summerhill too and wondered if maybe the house belonged to the owner of that winery.
posted by synecdoche at 11:07 AM on November 7, 2023

Also, the bearskin on the chimney makes it look like the poor animal got launched and splatted up there as though in a cartoon.
posted by synecdoche at 11:09 AM on November 7, 2023 [7 favorites]

The pyramid ssg links to, ages wine based on sacred geometry and pyramid power resulting in superior wine based on taste tests. And somewhere east is a famous bridge I’d like to sell you.
posted by njohnson23 at 11:09 AM on November 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

What is that big wooden chair in the pyramid with some electrical box with dials seemingly connected to two platforms that seem to be for your feet (somebody with dirty feet used it) with a desk featuring portraits and giant crystals? And that row of waiting room chairs? Some sort of healing center? If the owner wasn’t the head of some cult, then they should have been. Lots of books! But I couldn’t read the titles anywhere to see what the interests were. I want more details as to why all the Egyptian stuff with an OM symbol popping up. And yes, the bear splatted on the fireplace was weird. But everything was weird…
posted by njohnson23 at 11:27 AM on November 7, 2023

I stayed at a place outside of Joshua Tree once that had a wire running into the bed frame. I asked the owner and he explained that the bed was grounded: there were silver wires through the sheets that all connected to a big conductive spike in the ground. I think this was supposed to protect you from malicious electromagnetic radiation? Or maybe it amplified the waves, which was also good? Not sure, but maybe something like that is happening with the pyramid throne.
posted by echo target at 11:45 AM on November 7, 2023

Also, the bearskin on the chimney makes it look like the poor animal got launched and splatted up there as though in a cartoon.

I guess we all live in different worlds, because while there is a lot of weird stuff going on in this house, the bear hide on the chimney looks totally normal to me.
posted by ssg at 11:48 AM on November 7, 2023

I've seen this episode of Stargate SG-1.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 1:03 PM on November 7, 2023

The house itself, architecturally, from the outside, is not as hideous as it could be, which is a plus. The garage workshop doesn't look like much goes on there, and is an attempt at a "fancy rich guy's shop" without getting there. The cabinetry and fittings throughout the house scream early 1980s. The Egyptian "artifacts" are very tacky.

I cannot imagine keeping this place dusted. Maybe that's for acolytes.

The 360-degree-explore-gadget reveals other aspects of the place:

• Many of the books throughout appear to be in German. A lot of religious titles along with philosophy, far as I could make out.
• In the "gym", which is the room with the stained concrete squares on the floor, is a giant stainless steel vat, presumably where your clones are grown.
• In the office, there is a calendar on the wall with a disturbing man-in-a-military-uniform portrait above it. On the messy file cart below that appears to be a tourist map of Madeira.
• On the table in that room is this volume: "Spirituelle Dissoziation" (I cannot read German so not sure what the amazon summary tells us it is).
• The pyramid capstone in the indoor pool room is actually a chamber you can go inside of. It might even hold some amount of water or another liquid.
• The wired "throne" in the top of the pyramid faces a table which has two portraits of a woman who appears to be from India either side of a mirror and crystal ball.

One charming thing are the multiple photos and a painting of a beloved doggo.
posted by maxwelton at 1:14 PM on November 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

So this isn't related to this:

https://montecristomagazine.com/highlights/for-sale-the-former-home-of-b-c-s-notorious-apocalypse-cult?amp=1

What's the deal with BC and Egyptian cults or cult-adjacent properties?
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 1:46 PM on November 7, 2023

Salt Lake City features it's own local pyramid oriented religion, Summum. And you can get mummified in it. At least this one comes with a swimming pool.
posted by msbutah at 2:03 PM on November 7, 2023

never in all my born days would i expect to see a hermetic pyramid 3d walkthrough for sale

i wonder if thats an orgone chair. i have SO MANY QUESTIONS
posted by nixon's meatloaf at 2:07 PM on November 7, 2023

New zoom backgrounds dropped.
posted by Horkus at 4:26 PM on November 7, 2023 [4 favorites]

Parts of it seem very nice and parts terrify me and I'm not saying which are which.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:46 AM on November 9, 2023