It's a good thing the turkey doesn't slap back

November 23, 2023 10:13 AM

How to cook a turkey by slapping it. This is much safer than dropping it from orbit, letting the atmosphere fry it and trying to catch it with a butterfly net.
posted by pyramid termite (12 comments total)

F*ckin’ white people, man.
posted by chronkite at 10:43 AM on November 23, 2023 [4 favorites]

By next year, Michael Reeves will have a version of this where the chicken emits a constant stream of profanity and the slapper only works if someone in the room gets tased by it at regular intervals.
posted by delfin at 10:57 AM on November 23, 2023 [1 favorite]

Oddly, I kinda thought the same, chronkite.

And I'm white people.

In slightly tangentials: it was a steak, not a turkey, pyramid termite, that was dropped from space.

But ok maybe this is where I have no clue what the difference is between xkcd and this.
posted by flamewise at 11:06 AM on November 23, 2023 [1 favorite]

Can you cook a turkey by arguing politics with it? Because that would be the perfect Thanksgiving tradition.
posted by PlusDistance at 11:10 AM on November 23, 2023 [4 favorites]

tl;dw
posted by credulous at 12:08 PM on November 23, 2023 [3 favorites]

Sometimes I get the feeling that in a decade or so, close to 100% of white American males 30 and under will be fully employed making YouTube videos where they slowly and expensively do something pointless, interspersed with lots of fist pumping and testosterone-fuelled cries of "yeah, let's go!!!".

Oh well. Happy Thanksgiving, American friends.

PS Thank you for the link to that tool, credulous - should lower my daily crotchetiness levels significantly.
posted by senor biggles at 12:37 PM on November 23, 2023 [2 favorites]

Can you cook a turkey by arguing politics with it? Because that would be the perfect Thanksgiving tradition.

This should be something in the next Saw movie.
posted by ryoshu at 7:11 PM on November 23, 2023

Still better than the microwave.
posted by fairmettle at 2:55 AM on November 24, 2023

I tried to roast a turkey once, but the Friars' Club didn't think the turkey was well-known or beloved enough.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:00 AM on November 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

This also puts Monty Python's 'Fish-Slapping Dance' in a whole new light.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:03 AM on November 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

This is much safer than dropping it from orbit, letting the atmosphere fry it and trying to catch it with a butterfly net.

Obligatory XKCD.

(I also thank credulous for that Youtube-summarizer link ...)
posted by intermod at 11:06 AM on November 24, 2023

Sometimes I get the feeling that in a decade or so, close to 100% of white American males 30 and under will be fully employed making YouTube videos where they slowly and expensively do something pointless, interspersed with lots of fist pumping and testosterone-fuelled cries of "yeah, let's go!!!".

You say this like it's a bad thing.
posted by KChasm at 1:47 PM on November 24, 2023