The Sound of 1-800-222-1811

December 31, 2023 1:09 AM

United States Postal Service - Hold Music Collection on Bandcamp

To see the most recent status of your packages, enter your tracking number in any search box on USPS.com.

NOTE: The tracking information available to customer service representatives is the same information you will see on USPS Tracking.

Hours of Operation...

Anyone who's had to deal with a missing package or file an insurance claim has at least one of these etched into the back of their brain.

posted by Spinda (11 comments total)

Here in NZ I was once on hold for a long time with NZ Post's parcel department trying to get something out of customs - being patriotic they were playing well known local tunes as hold music - I've always wondered who it was who put Split Enz's "6 months in a leaky boat" into the rotation, maybe they hadn't really thought that through .....
posted by mbo at 1:18 AM on December 31, 2023 [2 favorites]

Oh my god THANK YOU! I friggin LOVE hold music.
posted by tiny frying pan at 6:41 AM on December 31, 2023 [1 favorite]

#3: Sweet oboe concerto with a surprise ending: Oboe#2 joins in for a duet!
posted by kozad at 6:57 AM on December 31, 2023 [1 favorite]

being patriotic they were playing well known local tunes as hold music

Sometimes that kind of thing results in some real howlers.

The primary school across the road from my house, like many Australian schools, runs music through the PA to give a few minutes warning that the end-of-recess bell is due to ring. A few years back some genius in the office decided that this paedo paean by Dragon would be a good choice. Yeah it's a catchy tune, but what were they thinking?
posted by flabdablet at 7:15 AM on December 31, 2023

Thank you so much for this!
posted by freakazoid at 7:15 AM on December 31, 2023

This is lovely! I've never called USPS but I kind of want to now. Thanks for sharing!
posted by donuy at 9:10 AM on December 31, 2023

I had a idea for a band that I wanted to call "Hold Me" . We would play well recognized hold music and the different band members would lean in at points and say things like "you are caller number 5"and classics like "please stay on the line, your call is important to us".
To complete the effect the songs would abruptly change.
posted by boilermonster at 9:28 AM on December 31, 2023 [6 favorites]

For real veracity you could loop one, if you can figure out how to make actual musicians perform an abrupt jump cut that manages to be completely misaligned not only within a bar but within a beat.
posted by flabdablet at 9:58 AM on December 31, 2023 [1 favorite]

One reason that I would not recommend a Miele combi oven is that when the pump dies after less than five years, the company that they recommended to repair it has this as their hold music (and since it'll take four visits to get it fixed, you will hear a lot of it).
posted by novalis_dt at 11:13 AM on December 31, 2023

If anyone has a lead on piano sheet music for common hold songs I'd love to hear about it.
posted by hypnogogue at 12:19 PM on December 31, 2023

I once called the US Department of Education for some questions about a grant application and got Schoolhouse Rock as its hold music. I have always given them full marks for that.
posted by dlugoczaj at 10:00 AM on January 2 [1 favorite]