Faster Means Nothing

January 3, 2024 8:21 AM

Stephen Scullion is an Irish Olympic marathon runner with a personal best of 2 hours 9 minutes, and depression. (CW: depression, suicidal ideation, self harm, lots of talk about running). Most of his Youtube channel focuses on his running training regime, breakdowns of his race performances, and how to be a more effective distance runner and avoid injury. Even if you're not a runner, it's an excellent glimpse into the mindset and training required to compete at an Olympic level of a sport.

What makes his channel unique is a 17-minute video he recorded last September, where he shares very openly about how his mental health struggles and suicidal ideation. He discusses how his chosen sport and identity as a marathon runner relate to his self worth as a human being. After running a half marathon in just seventy minutes, Scullion very frankly says, nothing changes the morning after - your demons are still there, and you need an answer beyond just "get faster". It's a very personal look at how you cannot neglect your mental health for the sake of an external goal.

And in a happy note, less than two months after making this video, Scullion won the Irish men's marathon championship title by running the Dublin Marathon in 2:11:51, the fastest performance by an Irish national in the race's 42 year history.

posted by fortitude25 (8 comments total)

This is something I've thought about, though in regards to depressed, highly successful musicians. It doesn't matter what you've got if you can't enjoy it.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 8:41 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]

Chronic hypoxia worsens depression.

Which would seem to set limits on how joyous his chosen sport is likely to be, and the morning after a new personal best might be especially bad.
posted by jamjam at 10:26 AM on January 3

Thanks for bringing that forward. It's important that 'successful' people present the symptoms of their particular peculiar cocktail of neurotransmitters and perhaps offer a solution that works for them. Adjacent, Niall "Bressie" Breslin is another Irish chap, a bit older than Stephen, who has a lot going for him: he's symmetrical, he's articulate, he's got a family, he's had success as a pop-singer (with The Blizzards and solo) which he grew into being a judge/coach/mentor on an Irish talent show. He also played Gaelic football for his county and rugby football for his country before he turned 21. And in parallel to his sporting career, he knocked off a degree from UCD. But in his teens and later he was subject to anxiety, crippling panic attacks, an irrational fear of water and other symptoms which would definitely exclude him from membership of the mental health club.

One solution was a determination not to be beaten by his unwholesome mental formations. He gave his anxiety a name - Jeffery - which had always had negative associations for him, and by thus personifying his nightmare he knew he could beat it.

Bressie's other solution to his mental turmoil, which often assailed him in the night, was to sleep in his runners. Rather than stare at the ceiling mulling over "a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom", he'd spring out of bed and run out of the door and run and run until his soul was a little quieter. One night it was 38km before he out-ran Jeffrey. Bressie was co-founder of My1000Hours - a sporty scheme for adjusting the PNI (psycho-neuro-immuno) balance which may work for some people. I couldn't run to catch a bus, let alone save my life.
posted by BobTheScientist at 10:32 AM on January 3

I would like to gently push back against stories of determination being a cure to mental illness. Some few people can talk themselves out of this disease. Many, many more cannot. Seek help from a professional, don't just try and convince yourself that you can beat it yourself with words or exercise. Good for these folks for finding a way out of the dark with a flashlight they brought with them; a lot of people don't have a flashlight on them and need help from others.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:37 AM on January 3 [9 favorites]

Thanks for sharing this. His YouTube channel has been a gold mine of training advice for me as I move from running 10ks/Half marathons to more long-distance events.
Here's hoping he can carry on his recent form and qualify for the Paris Olympics.
posted by all the versus at 10:57 AM on January 3 [2 favorites]

Seek help from a professional, don't just try and convince yourself that you can beat it yourself with words or exercise.

Yes, I agree - and I think that's the point of Scullion's video: he's reached a world class level of performance in his sport (a 2:09 marathon is basically at superhuman levels, it's only 9 minutes off the world record) and yet he still must deal with the reality of his mental struggles every day, they don't care about his personal best times.

Thanks for sharing this. His YouTube channel has been a gold mine of training advice for me as I move from running 10ks/Half marathons to more long-distance events.

Me too, I'm training for my first full marathon in May and his strength and conditioning videos in particular have been game changing for my running. Scullion has to be one of the highest level marathoners sharing good quality training content for free on the entire internet.
posted by fortitude25 at 11:04 AM on January 3 [5 favorites]

Success is no protection against depression. No protection at all. They are completely unrelated phenomena. A good family friend of my parents was an extremely talented and successful homebuilder. He commanded millions of dollars. Had a beautiful farm with gorgeous horses and a delightful house. He was by all accounts extremely successful and not wanting for anything, materially. But depression took him in his 50s anyhow.

Please, please seek help if you need it. Don't try to walk it off.
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:34 AM on January 3 [3 favorites]

I haven't watched these yet, but this has reminded me of how in my twenties I ran because I thought it would help my depression, but it made no difference, and then people were saying how can you be depressed if you run 5 miles a day? I laugh now but it was baffling to me at the time.
posted by maggiemaggie at 4:58 PM on January 3