Whoa! Gag! They did what??

September 26, 2002 9:15 AM

Whoa! Gag! They did what?? "The history of drinking urine for therapeutic purposes dates back at least to the Holy Roman Empire when great urinal troths were erected in the public squares......" courtesy of WFMU magazine
posted by protocool (49 comments total)

Human urine is sterile, you can drink it. It's purer than distilled water. You can only drink your own urine, however, as another person's piss is quite poisonous.
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:17 AM on September 26, 2002

I would amend that - fresh human urine is sterile. It gets dirty pretty quickly.
posted by starvingartist at 9:22 AM on September 26, 2002

I figured it was like wine. Better throw out those bottles then. ;)
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:24 AM on September 26, 2002

Mmmmmmm...my own urine...
posted by NedKoppel at 9:26 AM on September 26, 2002

I can't stop thinking of the old elementary school..."Me chinese, me play joke....." jingle.
posted by protocool at 9:27 AM on September 26, 2002

If you haven't tried it yet, urine for a treat!
posted by bunktone at 9:29 AM on September 26, 2002

another link here. wow, does this mean we can all dump our shitty HMO's??
posted by protocool at 9:31 AM on September 26, 2002

And another.
posted by Fabulon7 at 9:34 AM on September 26, 2002

"another person's piss is quite poisonous"

Never heard that--cite?
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:39 AM on September 26, 2002

Let's not forget Morarji Desai, former PM of India, staunch advocate and practitioner of urine drinking. He lived to be 99...
posted by BinGregory at 9:39 AM on September 26, 2002

I don't know - there seems to be a lot of supporting evidence here, but I just don't think I could bring myself to drink my own pee.
posted by starvingartist at 9:42 AM on September 26, 2002

Yeah, me neither... plus I'd probably get it all in my hair.
posted by madprops at 9:44 AM on September 26, 2002

Well, that's one way to shut up the folks trying to convince us that the United States is so similar to the Roman Empire, at least.
posted by frallyth at 9:45 AM on September 26, 2002

Actually, urine was also used as a teeth whitener in Roman times... specifically Portuguese urine (apparently it was more concentrated, but that could just be a result of shipping).

*shudder*
posted by GhostintheMachine at 9:52 AM on September 26, 2002

"specifically Portuguese urine (apparently it was more concentrated, but that could just be a result of shipping). "

Paging Miguel Cardoso...
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:53 AM on September 26, 2002

That's coz you have to mix it with tonic water, ya big dolt!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:56 AM on September 26, 2002

Let's not forget Morarji Desai, former PM of India, staunch advocate and practitioner of urine drinking. He lived to be 99...

Actually he died at 47. It just seemed like 99 years.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:58 AM on September 26, 2002

I think there was a Siberian tradition where a shaman ate 'magic' mushrooms and the people of his village would drink his urine to catch a buzz as some sort of religious ceremony. I could be wrong though...
posted by titanshiny at 10:00 AM on September 26, 2002

The kidneys filter impurities out of our bloodstream, so why would we want to deliberately put those impurities back *in*? Is there some sort of weird homeopathic concept at work here?
posted by MrBaliHai at 10:02 AM on September 26, 2002

Thoroughly debunked here.

The fact that Morarji Desai, former Prime Minister of my country, lived to be 99, doesn't mean squat. Correlation doesn't prove causation. One of my relatives lived up to 90 without drinking urine.
posted by madman at 10:02 AM on September 26, 2002

Wow, and I thought this stuff was gross.

I don't understand how "local health authorities" could say no one would catch anything from the pee-coffee. I mean, you can catch (mild) diseases from people just coughing or sneezing around you, let alone in your coffee.
posted by JoanArkham at 10:02 AM on September 26, 2002

Right, titanshiny - I remember from one of the Time-Life books how the urine was more potent than the mushrooms themselves. I think it was the same well-thumbed Time-Life book that had all the statuettes of half-naked snake-charming women.

What's with the throwaway Jack Klugman slur, though? I'd never heard that particular innuendo before.
posted by yhbc at 10:05 AM on September 26, 2002

www.MetaFark.com

This thread leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
posted by matteo at 10:09 AM on September 26, 2002

Turns out there's a lot of links about Siberian piss-drinking traditions. Here's an excerpt from one, stating a practical reason for piss consumption:

There are several reasons given as to why the intoxicants are consumed in this form. One thought is that the sharing of the shaman's own intoxicating body fluid with his fellow tribesmen, and theirs among themselves, served to show unification of the celebrants with one another as well as with the sacred mushroom. There is also the possibility that only the wealthy could afford the purchase of the actual mushrooms. The poor waited outside the ceremonial areas for someone to come out to relieve themselves and would fill their containers with the urine. Recall also that A. muscaria also contains muscarine, which causes profuse sweating and twitching. When drinking the urine of individuals who had consumed the mushroom, apparently the muscarine is metabolized and the urine drinker is spared the unpleasant side-effects. Thus, there is a practical reason for drinking the intoxicating urine. Amanita muscaria is the only known hallucinogen which is not metabolized and can be utilized in this fashion. The practice of drinking urine was not restricted to Siberia and was also referred to in the Rig-Veda.
posted by titanshiny at 10:18 AM on September 26, 2002

MrMoonpie: I was told by a friend who was in the US military. They were told all about drinking your own urine to survive, and that you can not drink another person's urine, due to it being poisonous.
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:27 AM on September 26, 2002

I'm curious what everyone thinks the punishment should be for the guy who was spiking the coffee? All kidding aside, how much prison time should he do? I think the guy should serve one year in prison for each of the people that drank out of that coffee pot.
posted by Beholder at 10:34 AM on September 26, 2002

Thanks, Mr. Simpson. Because of you, we're all taking golden showers....What?
posted by hellinskira at 10:41 AM on September 26, 2002

"They use urine to unleash their kundalini, sending it straight into the third eye, bringing instant enlightenment."

the jokes write themselves!
posted by modge at 10:43 AM on September 26, 2002

Seriously, "the guy who was spiking the coffee" should be forced to drink from a cup filled with the urine of all the people who drank from the pee filled coffee pot.
posted by bunktone at 10:45 AM on September 26, 2002

a strict regimen of fasting on his own urine and tap water for a period of 45 days

I doubt that someone, who was already ill, could survive 45 days on a piss and diet.
posted by a3matrix at 10:48 AM on September 26, 2002

I have sent a copy of this article to my ex-wife, who used to tell me all the time to eat shit and die....this seems a gentler approach to nutrition matters.
posted by Postroad at 10:53 AM on September 26, 2002

I'm a little worried by the sidebar on the right. Can I gargle the urine first BEFORE using it as an enema?

I can understand sniffing the urine last after the gargle/enema/douche- I'm sure that festering liquid would clear up my sinuses.
posted by titanshiny at 11:04 AM on September 26, 2002

my great grandmother lived to be 103. now i know her nefarious, urine-drinking secret! and she said it was strong coffee and clean livin' . . .
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 11:23 AM on September 26, 2002

We paid a kid who worked at the grocery store with us (as a teenager) to drink a mountain dew can filled with urine.
posted by internook at 11:32 AM on September 26, 2002

"When the president of Porta-John began consulting with scientists about a urine filtration system, one told him he was sitting on a gold mine." Heh.
posted by xammerboy at 11:33 AM on September 26, 2002

So what, eating your own poo cures cancer, then?

Sorry, millions of years of evolution say that stuff leaves the body.
posted by gottabefunky at 11:39 AM on September 26, 2002

internook - in high school, i had all the guys on my baseball team watch me pee into the big bully's shampoo bottle. everyone played it straight while he lathered up, and died laughing later. the guy had recently knocked me around a bit. he never found out and it was perfect revenge.

there is no homosexual subtext to this anectdote. lather, rinse, repeat -- there is no homosexual subtext.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 11:52 AM on September 26, 2002

At least Coors Light is cold.
posted by sacre_bleu at 11:59 AM on September 26, 2002

Dark Messiah: not sure why they'd tell your friend that another person's urine is poisonous, since it's absolutely not. Fresh urine, in the absence of infection or certain medical conditions, is sterile, it isn't just sterile to the person who made it and magically poisonous to everyone else, it's sterile period. There's actually little difference (in the absence of certain diseases and medications) between one person's urine and another's.

MrBaliHai: urine is basically just water, most of the non-water consituents aren't really toxins, but waste products (like excessive water-soluble vitamins like C, not toxic, just not needed). And the constituents of urine which *are* toxic have undergone changes in the body to make them less so (protein digestion leaves ammonia as a waste product, your liver converts the ammonia into urea, which is much less toxic than ammonia). You can safely drink urine if you need to (why you'd want to is another matter).
posted by biscotti at 12:04 PM on September 26, 2002

I *heart* Sacre_Bleu!
posted by ColdChef at 12:08 PM on September 26, 2002

So pissing in someone's cereal isn't necessarily a bad thing?
posted by kirkaracha at 12:56 PM on September 26, 2002

_sirmissalot_: he never found out and it was perfect revenge.

I'm sorry, but no.

"I must not only punish but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong. "

THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO, E A Poe
posted by SPrintF at 1:14 PM on September 26, 2002

I've been peed on. Does that count for anything?
posted by monkeymike at 1:17 PM on September 26, 2002

"Revenge is sweet but not nourishing."

-Mason Cooley (b. 1927), U.S. aphorist.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 1:49 PM on September 26, 2002

6. Eye and ear drops. Any pain, burning and tiredness in the eyes may get relief with a few drops of urine placed into the eyes.

Anybody else think this might be a bit easier for guys rather than gals? Geez you guys get all the fun.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:40 PM on September 26, 2002

At a beach party when I was a teenager, while I was off in the trees taking a whiz, a 'friend' of mine (a guy who was a few coconuts short of a bunch, but generally harmless and nonetheless part of the gang) (and who was, coincidentally, Portuguese) took a bit of a whiz in my beer, which I'd left stuck in the sand.

I noticed the warmth and slightly odd taste immediately, on first swig, put down the beer bottle, and proceeded to pound the living shit out of him. He never did it again.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:28 PM on September 26, 2002

Geez, stravos, I'm never gonna give you a tylenol, then. Person tries to help you feel healthy, and you beat the shit outta him? Gahd forbid your doctor prescribe an antibiotic, eh?
posted by five fresh fish at 10:28 AM on September 27, 2002

Gravy: I'm sure there's no end of men who are willing to pee in your eyes and ears. Heck, I'd volunteer -- and even let you handle the directional control -- 'cept that I've got a shy bladder. :)
posted by five fresh fish at 10:29 AM on September 27, 2002

~blinking back tears at the thought of Five Fresh Fish's unselfishness~
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:54 PM on September 28, 2002