Mooch, Jackie, Mooch!
November 17, 2002 1:12 PM   Subscribe

Our Next Contestant In "The Great Internet Mooch-O-Rama". Little Jackie is sad. Why is she sad? Because people have been mean to her. Why have they been mean to her? Because they don't understand the financial plight which has driven her to spam Usenet groups in a desperate plea to...well, to be slightly more comfortable than she already is. [more]
posted by tpoh.org (37 comments total)
 
Her impassioned panhandling of every Usenet religious group from Catholics to Scientologists has earned her no violin solos. However, Jackie appears to have made a big mistake: She admitted she 'probably lives better' than most of the people she's begging from (from the soc.religion.bahai newsgroup, not indexed by Google Groups yet):
I thought I made it clear. I'm nowhere near starving. In fact I probably live better than you. And I want to keep it that way. My main goal right now is to clean up my credit card debt asap. 1. Because having bad credit is without a doubt going to get in the way of my own philathropic endeavors in the future. 2. Because it's weighing heavily on my soul, so to speak. 3. Because the Holy Spirit told me to.

I don't expect most to understand that. I probably wouldn't have either until a few days ago. However, if you're sincere about it and not just testing me. Get quiet, go inside yourself and Listen. Do what you are Told. Mail whatever you feel is truly helpful to the address on my website and I'll find an appropriate person to give it to, which may include myself. I make no promises other than that before I do anything with it, I'll ask for Guidance as well.

Blessings,

Jackie
Whoops. Bad Jackie.

I know this is not the best thread I've posted in a long time, but it's certainly deserving of a mention. Share the information with the poor lugs who might otherwise take sympathy on NetMooch 2.0.
posted by tpoh.org at 1:22 PM on November 17, 2002


I think we sort of made this point in the last Karyn thread. There will be no success to this because the paradigm is no longer new. Karyn was the first to beg, she cashed out on the concept, now it's dead. Anything else like this will be deemed as a parody for at least the next fifteen years, at which point it will either be labeleld as "retro" or repackaged to fit whatever new technology exists. Odd are a few people new to the genre will throw this site a few dollars, and we shall all continue to reflect on the horrors of how some annoying little middle-class quasi-whore managed to do in four months what most actual charities for actual needy people can't seem to do in a year.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:26 PM on November 17, 2002


Yeah, but I thought this was noteworthy for the two huge brass balls that Jackie apparently has. By admitting that she's not doing badly at all, she has sunk beneath the benchmark "quasi-whore" to share the bottom rung with televangelists ... while at the same time giving us a tearful monologue about the cruelty of the world toward a frail little beggar-girl.

Sorry. I need a tissue now.
posted by tpoh.org at 1:52 PM on November 17, 2002


Heh, she'll be even more in debt if she has to pay for that extra bandwidth she needs.
posted by squealy at 1:55 PM on November 17, 2002


Exactly. She's in need of a good Farking/Slashdotting/MeFi-ing.
posted by tpoh.org at 2:00 PM on November 17, 2002


tpoh:
I second that motion...
posted by blade at 2:05 PM on November 17, 2002


Bandwidth exceeded:
Temporarily Unavailable

The Angelfire site you are trying to reach has been temporarily suspended due to excessive bandwidth consumption.

The site will be available again in approximately 2 hours!
posted by hockeyman at 2:25 PM on November 17, 2002


I suppose it can't be too surprising that someone else would try to suck money from dolts who feel like they've nothing better to do with theirs.

90K of debt would have me camping out in a bankruptcy lawyer's foyer. Jackie's doing well enough to not even think of this. she's just asking to play the benevolent ass, preferably with someone else's money. I wish this world were filled with people like her. Wait. It probably is. But most of them realize their request is idiotic before vocalizing it.

mercy.
posted by Busithoth at 3:36 PM on November 17, 2002


Won't somebody please think of the cats?
posted by oflinkey at 3:45 PM on November 17, 2002


Public shaming is an old and honorable tradition.

I'm just saying.
posted by rushmc at 5:04 PM on November 17, 2002


Why can't she become a hooker? My sister did when she was down on her luck and she is now off her back and up and at 'em.
posted by Postroad at 5:16 PM on November 17, 2002


I've got some spare wooden nickels she can have. And some scissors, so future credit card debt will never be a hassle.
posted by Dark Messiah at 5:36 PM on November 17, 2002


Save Jackie.....from a bad FrontPage template. Love the meta tag keywords too:
"save karyn jackie no sex donate god cat spirit credit love free giving philanthropy charity"
posted by mkelley at 5:55 PM on November 17, 2002


Here in my city, PT Barnum's name is all over every damned thing, including a housing project. When I was a kid, I used to wonder why we celebrated a guy who was basically a con artist.

People like this make me realize that when the man said "There's a Sucker born every minute, he was underestimating.

Karl Marx, of all people, once said that the character flaw he excused most was gullibillity. I can see where the old commie sourpuss was coming from on this one. Gullibility often means just wanting to believe the best in people, which is an admirable trait as long as you don't disregard good sense.

The worst thing about scammers like this bunch, that Karyn broad, and the whole army of spamscam artists is that they'll help turn these good heartedly gullibile folks into into cynical paranoids.
posted by jonmc at 6:19 PM on November 17, 2002


Well, I guess I was napping during SaveKaryn's 15 minutes 'cos I had never heard of her. Hitting religious newsgroups or spamming is just plain obnoxious, but if you want to make a website asking for money, why should I care? It's not like I have to visit it.
posted by Lori at 6:40 PM on November 17, 2002


Maybe we should send her cash for this little bit of wisdom:

"Suspend judgment and guilt for just a moment. That's the only way to filter out all the lies the world has to offer."

I think that was week two in my research methods class...
posted by flagrante_delicto at 7:58 PM on November 17, 2002


In fact I probably live better than you. And I want to keep it that way.

Disgusting.

Get quiet, go inside yourself and Listen.

*blood boiling*

Do what you are Told.

Guidestar has a searchable database of over 850,000 IRS-recognized nonprofits and their financial statements, in case anybody gets the urge to donate to a worthwhile cause.
posted by eddydamascene at 8:06 PM on November 17, 2002


That picture of her with a cat photoshoped to her head is pretty desturbing, IMO...
posted by delmoi at 8:14 PM on November 17, 2002


3. Because the Holy Spirit told me to.


fantastic.
posted by 11235813 at 9:19 PM on November 17, 2002


That's it, I'm running out and buying GetMattA50"FlatPanelLCDHomeTheater.com and go begging in the A/V groups for help.

Won't someone please think of my television?
posted by mathowie at 9:33 PM on November 17, 2002


From The Dictionary of MetaSigns:

jonmc quoting Marx = time to go to bed.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:39 PM on November 17, 2002


Poor Jackie. I'd be so embarrased if my well meaning but misguided cat did that to me.

According to one of the communities that she spammed, the cats head has been layered over a photo of Hitler.

I probably live better than you


If that's what you call living....
posted by Tuatara at 10:44 PM on November 17, 2002


I wonder if she could get her ISP/usenet access cut off for violating a "commercial use" or spam policy? This certainly walks the line.
posted by sixdifferentways at 11:28 PM on November 17, 2002


Tuatara: According to one of the communities that she spammed, the cats head has been layered over a photo of Hitler.

here's the original hitler photo, courtesy of google.
posted by eddydamascene at 12:04 AM on November 18, 2002


the creepiest part about this whole thing is that she chose to use an image of hitler to put her cat's face on. what's that all about?

cat + hilter = ???
posted by suprfli at 12:44 AM on November 18, 2002


cat + hilter = Kitty Litter
posted by thomcatspike at 6:04 AM on November 18, 2002


Gullibility often means just wanting to believe the best in people, which is an admirable trait

How is it admirable, if it flies in the face of most objective observation? I don't think choosing to believe what one wants to be rather than what is is in any way admirable.
posted by rushmc at 6:40 AM on November 18, 2002


Maybe "admirable" is the wromg word. But they tend to be good-hearted souls, who are pleasant to be around is what I was trying to say I guess. Cynics, while often accurate, can be tiresome company.
posted by jonmc at 6:45 AM on November 18, 2002


jonmc: Have you ever had to spend time with one of those morons who actually gives money to the homeless crackhead whose poor ailing mother has been imminently about to undergo open-heart surgery for the last three years straight? Pleasant? Hardly.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 7:01 AM on November 18, 2002


Why is it that this kind of shameless begging makes me cringe, but if Matt asked me for a few bucks for his home theatre system, I'd fork it over? Perhaps is that MeFi is easier on the eyes? That site's pretty frightening.
posted by deliriouscool at 7:52 AM on November 18, 2002


Lori;

Hitting religious newsgroups or spamming is just plain obnoxious

no, actually I think 'hitting religous newsgroups" is just plain ironic. after all, they are always hitting the rest of us up for 'donations'...
posted by jkaczor at 8:29 AM on November 18, 2002


Why is it that this kind of shameless begging makes me cringe, but if Matt asked me for a few bucks for his home theatre system, I'd fork it over?

Because Matt provides you with a service that you enjoy using? Anyway, if you do want to fork over a few bucks, you'd be more than welcome.
posted by webmutant at 8:55 AM on November 18, 2002


rushmc: How is it admirable, if it flies in the face of most objective observation? I don't think choosing to believe what one wants to be rather than what is is in any way admirable.

Sorry, we forgot that only scientific materialism produces anything admirable. I'll try to remember that the next time I'm admiring the physically expressed subjective observations (art) in a museum.
posted by botono9 at 2:22 PM on November 18, 2002


www.savematt.com
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:50 PM on November 18, 2002


Hey everyone, help me too! I have a job but I am unable to obtain the stuff that I want because I am burdened down with too much income tax (I’m Canadian) and I have to pay rent and stuff. If you help me pay for my boring stuff, er… I mean stuff that I am unfairly forced to pay I can buy an X-box in addition to my Playstation 2.

Give me a break, when exactly did begging become cool?
posted by Smooth at 4:01 PM on November 18, 2002


they tend to be good-hearted souls, who are pleasant to be around

Fair enough, but I wouldn't want to have to rely on them in any type of serious situation that required rational assessment and productive action.
posted by rushmc at 5:43 PM on November 18, 2002


Sorry, we forgot that only scientific materialism produces anything admirable. I'll try to remember that the next time I'm admiring the physically expressed subjective observations (art) in a museum.

Huh? We were talking about people unable to discern reality through the veil of their own illusions about the world. (Good) art does just the opposite, giving peeks through holes in the veil.
posted by rushmc at 5:45 PM on November 18, 2002


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