Help save the woodland by covering your vagina with dead marsupials.

December 9, 2002 10:31 AM

Possums are labelled an ecological pest in New Zealand, so apparently it's considered "pro-environment" to exterminate the little buggers. With that good feeling about wearing fur in your minds, save the forest and ease your holiday shopping at the same time with some fine New Zealand Possum Fur G-strings and nipple warmers. (Probably NSFW) But don't leave out the kids' Christmas lists! Make sure they get this season's hot toy- a possum hand puppet fashioned straight from the carcass of the real thing! Mmmm, it's still warm.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (18 comments total)

first link is mefi-ed for me.
posted by goethean at 10:38 AM on December 9, 2002

They's good eatin', too.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:39 AM on December 9, 2002

NUGENT: Because I turned down their dope. And I turned down their stupid trends. And the hippies always hated me, because they were preaching peace and love and I was loading a .44 magnum. All the people criticized me for being a gun lover, they're all dead. They puked and died. That's not a party where I come from.
posted by four panels at 10:48 AM on December 9, 2002

The possum who visits my back yard at night is surprisingly well-mannered, even amongst a crowd of raccoons and skunks all grousing for the seeds left over by the birds. I like the little bugger. And Nugent? Not even goin' there. Not worth it.
posted by Shane at 11:22 AM on December 9, 2002

It is pro-environment to exterminate the little buggers; New Zealand has no native mammal life. The introduction of ship-borne Norwegian rats damn near wiped out the tuatara, for example.
posted by mcwetboy at 11:25 AM on December 9, 2002

Possum Fur Nipple Warmers and G-String, it's what everyone wants for christmas.
posted by riffola at 11:40 AM on December 9, 2002

just for the sake of clarity: the north american possum and the new zealand variety are different critters.
mcwetboy, not sure what your comment means, possums are marsupials too.
posted by dolface at 11:46 AM on December 9, 2002

New Zealand has no native mammal life

i never knew that. that's really interesting.
posted by donkeyschlong at 11:52 AM on December 9, 2002

dolface:

There is no 'New Zealand variety' of opossum: they were introduced into NZ from Australia by misguided European settlers in the 1880s. mcwetboy is right when he says there are no mammal species native to New Zealand (with the exception of a couple of species of bat).
posted by Sonny Jim at 12:00 PM on December 9, 2002

sonny jim:
thanks for the correction, but i'm still not clear on why mammals were brought into the discussion.
i thought opossums were marsupials, or do i need an opossum-fur brain warmer?
posted by dolface at 12:04 PM on December 9, 2002

Aren't marsupials mammals?
posted by riffola at 12:07 PM on December 9, 2002

doh! yeah, they're pouched mammals, unlike the rest of us placental mammals
*slinks off to look for pouch to crawl into*
posted by dolface at 12:19 PM on December 9, 2002

dolface; riffola:

Yeah, absolutely: marsupials are mammals, and opossums are marsupials. The point being made was that, whereas now there are plenty of mammals in New Zealand (and even some marsupials), before human settlement (circa 900 AD), there were none (except for some bats).
posted by Sonny Jim at 12:24 PM on December 9, 2002

Possum yarn is also being used as a "luxury" yarn for knitters, because it has great properties in terms of warmth and softness. I hope to get some next year for some sweaters.
posted by Salmonberry at 1:05 PM on December 9, 2002

I still can't get any of those links to work.
posted by gottabefunky at 2:23 PM on December 9, 2002

what Shane said, verbatim.

Except for the raccoons and skunks.
posted by soyjoy at 2:32 PM on December 9, 2002

Forgot about the bats. Aren't bats bugs though?</calvin>
posted by mcwetboy at 6:09 PM on December 9, 2002

Possum is a lighter meat than squirrel, and ranges in gaminess due to the age and condition of the possum. It's often served in stews and casseroles (largely to disguise its origin). It ain't too good, frankly. Squirrel, however, is quite tasty, especially pan-fried and served with cream gravy. Reminds me of rabbit. But squirrels are a lot of work. It can take all day to bag enough of them to feed the family, plus cleaning them is a pain. Of course, when you're through, you do have a bunch of squirrel pelts, which can then be stitched together to make a great dog toy or training tool (for the next time you go squirrel hunting). And the cats LOVE to play with the tails.

Raccoon is pretty much inedible, just if you were wondering.

And armadillo is possum on the half shell.

If there is a market for possum-fur yarn, I may have found my calling....can you shear a possum, like a sheep? Hmmm....."The Possum Ranch".....I can almost hear my neighbors' heads exploding just at the thought....
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:31 AM on December 10, 2002