The moon does not exist!

January 30, 2003 7:53 PM

The moon does not exist!This is no lie. Until recently, I, too, believed in the traditional, establishment view of the moon. But any thinking person, untainted by the biases imposed on us by the controlled media, will have no choice but to reach the conclusion I did once faced with the facts described in this account.
posted by CrunchyFrog (25 comments total)

The "Moon": A Ridiculous Liberal Myth
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:00 PM on January 30, 2003

okay -- i can't tell if this is a seriously crazy person, or just a very good piece of satire. every time i'm convinced it's satire, i'm struck by something that makes me pause and say, "is this ... this can't be ... is this guy for real?"
posted by damn yankee at 8:17 PM on January 30, 2003

I, for one, am no longer willing to submit to the Lunar Overlords, after this unnerving expose.
posted by kozad at 8:27 PM on January 30, 2003

All kinds of forces conspire to keep the moon myth alive. Even NASA is in on the act.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:42 PM on January 30, 2003

This is funny as hell; don't miss the rest of his site ('Do the Jews Exist?'), including the truth behind September 11:

Naturally, our first suspicion was directed against the most obvious suspect: Sweden.

posted by IshmaelGraves at 8:44 PM on January 30, 2003

i thought this guy was bunk until he presented evidence that the 9/11 terrorists acts were actually the work of the canadians.
posted by birdherder at 8:46 PM on January 30, 2003

*whew*

i was honestly a little worried that there might be somebody that fucking crazy out there.
posted by damn yankee at 8:46 PM on January 30, 2003

i was honestly a little worried that there might be somebody that fucking crazy out there.

Crazy enough not to believe him, maybe. I believe that every word he writes is true.
_{[this is good]}
posted by Joey Michaels at 8:50 PM on January 30, 2003

From the disclaimer at the bottom of the page (with my emphasis added):

THE MAD REVISIONIST, located on the moon, is owned and operated by accident.
posted by Vidiot at 8:50 PM on January 30, 2003

"THE MAD REVISIONIST, located on the moon, is owned and operated by accident."

But if the moon doesn't exist, then neither does that site, which means I didn't actually read it.

So, where did your link send me when I thought I was reading that site, CrunchyFrog, if that is really your name. I'm on to your little game now, oh yes.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:13 PM on January 30, 2003

.... Or so the Germans would have us think!
posted by Hildago at 11:25 PM on January 30, 2003

Why am I reminded of this?
posted by Quartermass at 11:45 PM on January 30, 2003

Some untrustworthy witnesses claim to have seen, spoken with, or even been married to Jewish people. We have only to ask, How much did the Great Jewish Conspiracy pay them to say this?

A comprehensive telephone survey of those alleged to have had personal contact with me revealed stories that were at the same time contradictory and incomplete.

See: Telephone Hoax.
Inconsistencies! Inconsistencies abound!

I ♥ madamjujujive.
posted by eddydamascene at 11:48 PM on January 30, 2003

I like how he makes claims to authority similar to "All Academics agree and say A is true". Then turns around to say something similar to "Academics are not be trusted, they are all in cahoots together because they agree".

I have met people like this. They are really hard to reason with because they lack reason; at least it seems that way.
posted by abez at 12:23 AM on January 31, 2003

No photographs were ever taken of the moon until the 1850’s. I just about sprayed my monitor with coffee on this page.
posted by deadcowdan at 4:55 AM on January 31, 2003

Damn liberals and their moon "theories!" Next thing you know they'll telling us that we evolved from apes and the earth isn't flat!
posted by nofundy at 5:02 AM on January 31, 2003

Not only is there no moon, but this fictional land of "Europe" does not exist! It's a liberal conspiracy designed to turn us all into pinko commie peacenik lesbians!

The French? That sounds so made up! Damn liberals!!!! (foam foam foam)
posted by CrazyJub at 5:07 AM on January 31, 2003

Yes, kiddies, the Moon exists. That is patently obvious, and everyone who disagrees or even claims to not even see it is obviously psychotic, on drugs, or both.

And yet......The Moon is NOT the Moon!

What do I mean by this seemingly contradictory assertion?

It gets complex......bear with me. There is more to the "Moon does not exist" story than that author even imagines. The Moon is really part of a Vast Liberal Conspiracy - to create a Satanic One World Government, under the UN, which will ultimately serve the purposes of our future rulers, the Reptilian Aliens who, even now, are softening us up for this eventuality through PsyOp campaigns such as Crop Circles, UFO sightings, cattle mutilations and....did I forget? - 9-11.

The Moon is a vast orbital platform, launched during the Kennedy Administration, which both houses our future Reptilian overlords and also serves as a surveillance post from which powerfull Liberal-controlled telescopes can identify Americans practicing, in their back yards, their Constitutionally guaranteed rights to own and fire firearms. From the "False-Moon" outpost, Liberals can photograph and tell the difference, even, between a .38 and a .45! They compile this information into a vast database which will be eventually used to strip the American people of their weapons and so render them defenseless against the Liberal/UN takeover on behalf of the Reptilian Puppet Masters.

Why was the launching of the "false moon" outpost unnoticed at the time, you might ask? Well, this was accomplished through the mass water-flouridation campaigns in the US: powerfull, but short lasting psychotropic drugs with powerfull auto-suggestive effects were introduced along with the flouride into water supplies around the US shortly before the lauching of the "Moon". President Kennedy then gave a National address -ostensibly concerning the Comunist threat- during which he hynotized the American public, assuring them that:

"the Moon has always been there....you always remebered seeing the Moon......you will forget every word I have just said, but you will remember that the Moon has always been there..."

It was really that simple!

I just had to get that off my chest. My fate is now sealed, but - thank God - I won't be around for the Liberal-Reptilian blasphemy. What they have planned.....It makes me shudder.
posted by troutfishing at 5:58 AM on January 31, 2003

My favorite sentence, right near the beginning:

This, however, was not enough of a blow to free academic discourse for the enemies of truth.

Seems to me that one could read that two ways, sort of like "I cannot recommend this student too highly".
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 6:40 AM on January 31, 2003

The werewolves have a lot of explaining to do dammit!
posted by jonmc at 7:19 AM on January 31, 2003

You mean Wallace and Gromit lied to me?!... What is the world coming to? (sobs)
posted by given2fli at 10:11 AM on January 31, 2003

Hey, troutfishing.

Shoulda clicked my link.

Here's a hanky for that egg. *giggle*
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:30 PM on January 31, 2003

WolfDaddy - I DID. I'm forever in your debt. I just tweaked that version a little to suit my own evil designs...

"Absurd liberal myth meme" - heh. heh. Metafilter hasn't heard the last of that!
posted by troutfishing at 1:37 PM on January 31, 2003

I just tweaked that version a little to suit my own evil designs...

LIBERAL!!!!
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:59 PM on January 31, 2003

While I am thinking about it, let me just mention that we like tha moon.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:35 PM on January 31, 2003