A Hobbit Conspiracy?

February 4, 2003 12:15 AM

There is a conspiracy theory that has been making the rounds on the net for quite some time now. In it, the actor Elijah Wood (Frodo) and Dominic Monaghan (Merry) are a gay couple that have been together since the filming of The Lord of the Rings. And they want to come out...but contracts and a whole lot of money at stake are keeping them in. So what do they do? Start testing the waters by infiltrating a gay gossip site called Data Lounge. Test the waters. Get media attention brought to them so they can out themselves as smoothly as possible and not get in trouble. Going on for some time now, the saga is up to thread 14 and shows no sign of slowing down. There are cryptic posts, shoutouts through clothing, PR beardings, interviews, sheep, photographs, insiders and trolls. And the strangest thing of all is that some of the proof is strangely compelling. Examples of all this and the "proofs" can be found here.

So after looking at many of the "facts", do you think it possible that two young actors might be trying to test the waters to come out in a novel fashion? And more importantly this all raises the question; do you think mainstream America (and the world in general) is ready to accept young openly gay men in cinema as leading men? Or is it career suicide?
posted by Windigo (54 comments total)

Since Ian McKellen (Gandalf) is openly gay, I don't see what the issue is...
posted by salmacis at 12:22 AM on February 4, 2003

wha?
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 12:25 AM on February 4, 2003

This should come as no surprise to those who sat through all 7 kajillion hours of documentaries on the 4-disc FOTR DVD edition. It's practically softcore.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:25 AM on February 4, 2003

So they are gay... and?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:29 AM on February 4, 2003

I could say something about Dom's crooked jaw, but that would be in poor taste.
posted by cinderful at 12:29 AM on February 4, 2003

Rumor mongering is a sin.

I offer this merely as a refresher.
posted by the fire you left me at 12:32 AM on February 4, 2003

It's practically softcore.

I haven't watched the bonus DVDs yet, and frankly I am a little scared to now!
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:41 AM on February 4, 2003

Well, I think the general consensus would be that there's no problem being a gay actor, and that it shouldn't affect the majority of people wanting to see movies with such actors as stars. Heck, if you talk to an average bigoted person, their opinion would be that most actors are gay, anyhow. However, that being said, I doubt anyone would find the sex scenes that permeate hollywood trash movies very believeable from a gay actor, considering the strong lack of gay roles in such movies.

That being said, I still won't be buying LOTR as I prefer to buy my movies in one piece, rather than 3. Not to mention the fact that I'd love to see about 3 hours cut from the movie, overall. Yes, I preferred the short version of Dune on TV, so there. ;-)
posted by shepd at 1:00 AM on February 4, 2003

this post is so gay
posted by tsarfan at 1:06 AM on February 4, 2003

Oh please, Elijah Wood is way to dorky to be gay. Everyone knows the Gays are dork free. Just like the Blacks.
posted by delmoi at 1:08 AM on February 4, 2003

this post is so gay

That is the internet rumor I hear...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 1:08 AM on February 4, 2003

Incredible. Somebody nudge me when this guy notices that there are black professional athletes or that women have the vote.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:10 AM on February 4, 2003

...like this wasn't all obvious from how Elijah played Frodo's 'friendship' with Sam;P
posted by jbrjake at 1:27 AM on February 4, 2003

Indeed, I think this homosexual scandal will rival the Clinton-Lewinsky matter in terms of scope, coverage, and national debate.

At this early point in the conversation, I would implore my fellow fags not to make that leap in construing the non-sexual male intimacy portrayed in the Lord of the Rings series--one of the sweetest, most heartening aspects of the films so far--as conveying some homoerotic undertone. Sean Astin said himself that he played the role of Sam as if he were in love with Frodo, but without the element of eros.

Please, I'm begging you. You wanted George Michael to be gay, and what did it get us--public anonymous bathroom sex and a good soul singer turning to bad disco. You wanted Elton John to be gay, and we turned a rock 'n roll icon into someone who will be writing songs for Disney movies for the next 50 years. You wanted John Travolta to be gay, and he's turned into a creepy cultist. You still won't stop knocking on Tom Cruise's door; please leave that poor straight boy alone. No queer with an ounce of self-respect would fall for Penelope Cruz; we see right through that bitch.
posted by troybob at 1:42 AM on February 4, 2003

It's practically softcore.

i watched all bazillion hours of the 4 disk set just this past weekend and have to disagree with you. which is not to say i don't think they're gay. or not. if they are, so the fuck what, i hope they live happily ever after. on the other hand can't people be close with each other without some sort of penetration being involved...? yah, they can, but some folks are so obsessed/repressed/deprived they have to project sex on to everything they come across.

No queer with an ounce of self-respect would fall for Penelope Cruz; we see right through that bitch.

bwah! besides, she looks like the chicken lady from kids in the hall.
posted by t r a c y at 1:48 AM on February 4, 2003

ALL of those hobbits (and some elves and humans) are all over each other all the time. It's what happens when you work with the same set of people over a period of years on an isolated island.
posted by Summer at 1:48 AM on February 4, 2003

I think the possibility that Wood and Monaghan are gay is significant and worthy of discussion. Off the top of my head, I can't really think of any famous actors, under the age of 30, who are openly gay. The few "out" celebrities that do come to mind are older, character actors (eg. Nathan Lane, Ian MacKellen, Ellen DeGeneres, Harvey Fierstein, that guy who played "Bulldog" on Fraiser.....). Rupert Everett is the typical example of a gay actor who has played straight love interests (An Ideal Husband, for example), but he really doesn't have a very high profile.

It sure would be nice if the sexual preference of Hollywood actors was infact "no big deal". But for any avid celebrity-watcher it IS still a big deal, given the miniscule number of successful, openly gay actors out there. Some say that being "out" wouldn't affect an actor's career, but I haven't seen any young, popular actors, of Elijah's current level of fame, prove this to be true yet.
posted by abez at 1:56 AM on February 4, 2003

I think the possibility that Wood and Monaghan are gay is significant and worthy of discussion.

Hey, Macauley Culkin could be gay. James Earl Jones could be gay. They're probably not, but they could be. I guess they're worthy of discussion too! Hell, I could be gay (I'm not, but I could be) -- let's talk about that for a while.
posted by kindall at 2:03 AM on February 4, 2003

It may also be worth considering the possibility that Elijah and Domminick are aware of the thread and find the whole idea hilarious, and are consciously "playing up" to it just to see how far it'll go or just to have fun with it, but that there's nothing other than good friendship and a twisted sense of humour between them.

That said, I could not care less whether they're gay or not - I don't plan to try and have sex with either of them...
posted by thorswitch at 2:50 AM on February 4, 2003

That said, I could not care less whether they're gay or not - I don't plan to try and have sex with either of them...

Well said, although this all seems to have arisen (pardon the pun) from the giant universe of LOTR slash that has everything to do with fantasizing about having sex with them.
posted by PrinceValium at 3:44 AM on February 4, 2003

I crap on this thread and all of it's contents, even my own.
posted by phylum sinter at 4:15 AM on February 4, 2003

... and I regret that people get to kiss Run Lola Run who don't really want to kiss Run Lola Run, which seems like a gross inefficiency in the ways of the universe.
posted by PrinceValium at 4:39 AM on February 4, 2003

As much as I don't care about the issue (I mean, I don't care if they're gay or not, it's not gonna affect my everyday life), I felt compelled to link to this already discussed link.

There.
posted by XiBe at 5:09 AM on February 4, 2003

gayfilter.
posted by kaibutsu at 5:10 AM on February 4, 2003

So, Windigo, are you Dom or Elijah? Great post. After all, once the all-important Metafilter demographic gives its ok society will be changed.

No matter which you are, I applaud you crazy young men. If society must gossip it always helps to throw them a few bones.

And PrinceValium, of course they want to kiss Franka Potente....given, well, you know, the gossip about her...
posted by ?! at 5:10 AM on February 4, 2003

" ... and I regret that people get to kiss Run Lola Run who don't really want to kiss Run Lola Run, which seems like a gross inefficiency in the ways of the universe."

It's part of the massive gay conspiracy to deprive us of our hot women. [sarcasm]
posted by mecran01 at 5:13 AM on February 4, 2003

so, what about smithers and mr. burns?
posted by quonsar at 5:15 AM on February 4, 2003

I can't believe people are so rude to go to all that effort to figure out the sexual life of someone. Who cares? It's their own business who they sleep with. It doesn't matter to their jobs, or if it's public. Why do people insist on thinking that the personal lives of people they see on TV and in movies are their own business? Get a life!
posted by evening at 6:00 AM on February 4, 2003

It doesn't matter to their jobs

Now, if that were only true . . . . .
posted by archimago at 6:19 AM on February 4, 2003

... so wait, let me get this straight... some famous actors are... gay???

Stop the presses!
posted by mkultra at 6:28 AM on February 4, 2003

What about Ernie and Bert?
posted by debralee at 6:50 AM on February 4, 2003

What about Cary and Randolph?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 6:56 AM on February 4, 2003

In that weird thread explaining the "signs", did anybody catch this....

"The biggest thing to remember, with the orange and yellow, for instance, is that this is not how these guys usually dress. Out of the thousands of pictures I have of them, I have *none* with Elijah in orange, or Dom in yellow."

Somebody has a problem......
posted by szg8 at 6:56 AM on February 4, 2003

I'm kind of amused that there seems to be a general consensus that we can determine these two fellow's sexuality based on their performances in these films. These guys are actors doing their jobs; their onscreen actions have little to do with their personal lives.
posted by jmgorman at 6:59 AM on February 4, 2003

Poor Elijah, suck one dick and everyone thinks you're gay.
posted by monkeyman at 7:01 AM on February 4, 2003

I crap on this thread and all of it's contents, even my own

Triumph? Is that you?
posted by thanotopsis at 7:08 AM on February 4, 2003

.
posted by tomplus2 at 7:15 AM on February 4, 2003

I heard a rumor that Sean Bean might be openly heterosexual!!! OMG!!!
posted by moonbiter at 7:30 AM on February 4, 2003

I did some Ian McKellen research after reading the first comment and found his online writings about the LOTR releases and publicity. There is a Grey Book and a newer White Book. Interesting reading, though I haven't read anything about El-Do in there.
posted by VulcanMike at 7:48 AM on February 4, 2003

"Hell, I could be gay (I'm not, but I could be) -- let's talk about that for a while."

So, kindall, when did you discover that you're (conceivably) gay?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:16 AM on February 4, 2003

do you think mainstream America (and the world in general) is ready to accept young openly gay men in cinema as leading men? Or is it career suicide?

Anyone who didn't see this one 40 years ago was fooling themselves. There have been gay actors as long as there has been theatre! Who do you think started the whole Western theatre thing anyway? The Greeks that's who, silly!
posted by Pollomacho at 8:27 AM on February 4, 2003

I think the great hidden secret of Hollywood is that actors have bowel movements. Only when actors insist they be portrayed as having bowel movements on the screen will the public learn the truth.
It is vital to the plot of movies like The Two Towers to show each and every actor who secretly has bowel movements having one on the screen. The public must be shown bowel movements to accept them as a normal part of our lives. Tolkien himself was a known bowel movement sympathizer. You can see it in his writings.
(I even suspect that Hollywood is controlled by a bowel movement mafia, and you can't find work in that town unless you support the bowel movement.)
Support fecal pride!
posted by kablam at 8:53 AM on February 4, 2003

Since it appears you want this rumor to be true, here's your Frodo/Merry pr0n. SFW, basically.
posted by O9scar at 8:57 AM on February 4, 2003

I don't know where you get your crackpot ideas Kablam, you need to get out more! America is not ready to see excrement portrayed on screen. This is something dark and unnatural and it needs to be suppressed!
posted by Pollomacho at 8:59 AM on February 4, 2003

Pollomacho, you never saw Rules of Attraction?

Watching James Vanderbeek take a big long crap, then even checking that he pulled an ace, was priceless.

Sorry to further derail this thread. Lets get back to the gay speculation. or not...
posted by futureproof at 9:51 AM on February 4, 2003

troybob, I'm still laughing because of your post. That's some funny shit, dude.
posted by maniactown at 9:54 AM on February 4, 2003

Come talk to me when there's speculation about Orlando Bloom and Billy Boyd having it on.

THAT interests me. A little Legolas-and-Pippin sandwich with a side of padraigin.
posted by padraigin at 10:44 AM on February 4, 2003

What a hoot. Thanks, Windigo. And FWIW, Datalounge is a pretty good queer news site with an easy-to-navigate archive. That it's not part of the AOL/Gay.com/PlanetOut conglomerate is a plus, too. It's worth repeat visits, even if catty Hollywood gossip isn't your thing.
posted by mediareport at 11:00 AM on February 4, 2003

O9scar: that bears a strange resemblance to this.
posted by sklero at 11:22 AM on February 4, 2003

Orlando Bloom and Billy Boyd

Bloom didn't have nearly as much time devoted to him in the extended edition DVD as I would have liked--the three gay hobbits seem to have the most screen time of all the actors (yes, I believe Boyd's a sister too). During what little time Bloom did spend onscreen during the docus I had not one ping of gaydar. Dammit. He's the prettiest!!

However, what really interested me as a gossip maven is what McKellen had to say about Bloom (McKellen's bitchy diss of Christopher Lee was also a hoot, but very tacky). Sir Gandalf was going on about how Bloom was very "enthusiastic" and would just strut right up to you and tell you what he wanted, whereas "wiser birds would go around the corner and slyly discuss matters".

Drugs? Women? Dildos? I'm burning up with curiosity as to what Bloom wanted that McKellen thought should have been requested in more subtle fashion. Where's Hedda when you need her?
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:08 PM on February 4, 2003

Look folks, none of this really matters.

Frodo casting the One Ring into the fiery bowels of Mount Doom -- that's what matters.
posted by DakotaPaul at 12:35 PM on February 4, 2003

What about Lee Aacker and Rin Tin Tin?
posted by jfuller at 5:17 PM on February 4, 2003

Thanks for ruining the ending, DakotaPaul.
posted by sherman at 3:52 AM on February 5, 2003

Don't know about Elijah Wood, but Frodo certainly is.

Frodo! Yo, FRODO! Eyes up here!! (about 2'38" in)
posted by Wet Spot at 5:14 PM on February 5, 2003