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Terry Jones Monty Python Observer
February 5, 2003 9:31 PM   Subscribe

Terry Jones of Monty Python fame attempts to apply the Bush administration policy to his own neighborhood.
posted by thedailygrowl (54 comments total)

 
This is good stuff.

The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.

Ha!

Nice link.
posted by jdroth at 9:40 PM on February 5, 2003


amusing, certainly, but probably not the best analogy in the world. (of course, good analogues are few and far between.) i'm surprised to see terry jones around -- he is, apparently, the quiet python... thanks for the link.
posted by fishfucker at 9:41 PM on February 5, 2003


ps. terry jones.
posted by fishfucker at 9:45 PM on February 5, 2003


Actually, it's an awful analogy.

Let me fix it.

Had Mr. Johnson been gutting the neighbors cats in the front yard and leaving them to hang on his mailbox, then stood on a soapbox in front of his home and declared that he would ram a fiery sword up Terry Jones' ass, then he would have sounded more like Iraq.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:54 PM on February 5, 2003


I think you just killed that poor geocities site, fishfucker. :-(
posted by Potsy at 9:58 PM on February 5, 2003


Actually it's more like the guy who lives all the way down the block (who Mr. Johnson talked to once) used a flamethrower that Terry Jones gave him 20 years ago to torch Terry's house, and in retaliation Terry killed Mr. Johnson's family because he looked at him funny.
posted by owillis at 10:03 PM on February 5, 2003


I'm a peacenik and all, but that was painfully oversimplified and poorly executed.
posted by muckster at 10:07 PM on February 5, 2003


ack!!! my apologies to geocities site owner. i should've at least tried to mirror it. anyhow, it's a very nice looking site and i do recommend it if it comes back up.
posted by fishfucker at 10:09 PM on February 5, 2003


I feel kinda guilty laughing because unlike Terry Jones, George Bush isn't joking. sigh.
posted by LouReedsSon at 10:12 PM on February 5, 2003


I would have liked it more if he just carried the analogy through without making the direct correlations to Bush's policy.
posted by bitdamaged at 10:16 PM on February 5, 2003


Actually it's more like there's an incredibly rich, super-asshole neighbor down the street whose totally guilty of all kinds of stuff, and even though he can't really get me, I can get him and all his stuff, and probably help is family out in the long run after I kill a shitload of them to get to him. Most people hate the guy, and are willing to let him hang himself or die eventually, but I'm the only ones with the guns and the greed. SO in the end no one will really care if I smoke him because he was a right shit to begin with.
posted by chaz at 10:20 PM on February 5, 2003


I am (for) (against) the war. People who are (against) (for) the war are poopyheads.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:34 PM on February 5, 2003


god, he's probably french too. or related to alec baldwin.
posted by mcsweetie at 10:35 PM on February 5, 2003


This IS exactly what I have been saying for some time now only to be shot down by fellow mefi members. I agree Mr Jones "Where is the logic". Why is the government allowed to do things that I am NOT allowed to do? I have yet to find one person that convinces me. This is not Medieval Times, this is not the Old West, this is civilization. I commend Mr Jones for making the point much more humorously than I ever could.
posted by SweetIceT at 10:37 PM on February 5, 2003


"Don't you SEE? O'Grogan SWALLOWED a VALUABLE COIN COLLECTION and HAD to murder the ONLY MAN who KNEW!!"

But really, I think owillis and chaz's analogies both come pretty close. Maybe we could, by doing Terry Jones ad nauseum, spawn a whole new genre of political commentary....
posted by namespan at 10:40 PM on February 5, 2003


why dont they just bump hussein off?
posted by sgt.serenity at 10:45 PM on February 5, 2003


Hey! I wrote a sophomoric and overly simplified thing almost exactly like this months and months ago! I should be let into Monty Python right now. In fact, I demand it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:50 PM on February 5, 2003


Stay tuned for Terry's next piece: Applying the Bush economic policy to his own neighborhood.

Excerpt:

I was walking down to my Cambridge reunion party yesterday and must have tripped over half a dozen people on the dole. Now, I've been eyeing this really beautiful Aston Martin roadster lately, and thought, if I could buy it, I wouldn't have to deal with these indigent, lazy people. And what do they use their money for, anyway? Smoke and spirits? Why, my cause is much more important than there's, and anyway, I've contributed to national culture. So I've decided to rob them, with the help of my local MP, since they aren't using the money half as well as I would."
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:54 PM on February 5, 2003


I agree with him about the whole issue, but I expected more from Terry Jones than tortured analogies and ham-handed satire, merely to preach to the already-converted. The humor is too poor to appeal to people who agree with him, and the arguments are too weak for anyone who disagrees to possibly listen to them - I'm not sure what the whole point of this piece was.
posted by RylandDotNet at 10:58 PM on February 5, 2003


Terry Jones.

I'm not sure what the whole point of this piece was.

Terry Terry Terry Jones.
posted by hama7 at 11:01 PM on February 5, 2003


So did I Joey Michaels...all I got was a "Pshaw" outta this bunch. Its just too simple for them to understand I think. This crowd leans towards the complicated.
posted by SweetIceT at 11:03 PM on February 5, 2003


I find the Pyongyang "commentary" on pre-emption less amusing.
posted by mblandi at 11:23 PM on February 5, 2003


starting here and going on and on and on and... :)
posted by hob at 11:29 PM on February 5, 2003


Civil_Disobedient: utterly brilliant. Both sharper and more poignant than the estimable Mr Jones' piece. Less labored, too, though that might be by virtue of being shorter.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:40 PM on February 5, 2003


Best
Post
Ever

Terry Terry Terry Jones.
posted by crasspastor at 2:22 AM on February 6, 2003


Eyeballkid ("Had Mr. Johnson been gutting the neighbors cats in the front yard and leaving them to hang on his mailbox, then stood on a soapbox in front of his home and declared that he would ram a fiery sword up Terry Jones' ass") - You're speaking of North Korea, right?

Civil_Disobedient - *Claps loudly* Can I adopt that for US consumption? It might be a meme-maker ("memer"?).

So why shouldn't I be able, with my fellow American citizens, to legally purchase surface to air missiles, artillery and anti-tank ordnance, mines, tanks and heavy machine guns, or even ballistic missiles on the open market? OK, I think nukes and biological agents should be strictly off limits, but I know some of my neighbors are up to something...why, last week, there was a burglary!....and pistols and rifles are not a sufficient deterrent anymore. I need something more forcefull....It's a rough world out there, folks.

"preemption....it's not just a word. it's a lifestyle!"

"Don't look at me like that...I'll...I'll preempt you!"

"...Are you talking to ME?" - Robert DeNiro, "Taxi Driver"

*...Surveying the devastation, turns chiseled profile to fading light, shoulders surface to air missile, mounts staggering horse, rides off into sunset*
posted by troutfishing at 4:57 AM on February 6, 2003


How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.

Minority Report - Phillip K. Dick

It's all about the pre-emption. Kill 'em before they do something really bad! Yeah, that's the ticket!

Pre-emption is bad policy.
posted by nofundy at 5:11 AM on February 6, 2003


Ah....now it all become clear to me. Fill your minds not with thoughts of war, for these lead down the terrible road to HELL:



No, I say, but instead render up a prayer to the heavens, and entreat the allmighty, God on high, that ye be filled by divine LOVE!:


posted by troutfishing at 5:32 AM on February 6, 2003


Off topic:

Do people know that using image bandwidth from sites without permission costs a lot of money?

Not your money: theirs! I would really hate to pay hundreds of extra dollars per month just because somebody linked my image to a high-traffic site like Metafilter.

Here's more.

Spread the word.

posted by hama7 at 5:49 AM on February 6, 2003


---
The humor is too poor to appeal to people who agree with him
---

Well, I thought it was funny...
posted by digiboy at 6:06 AM on February 6, 2003


Hmm. Apparently his best work is behind him.

Poor analogy, poorly executed.

Tell ya' what - how about having ol' Terry go down to this guys place and see how popular his humor is. I'm sure they'll be greatly amused - so amused, they'll exempt him from their murder plans!

Dear Mr. Jones: We like you. We'll protect you, even if you are daft.
posted by hadashi at 6:38 AM on February 6, 2003


Well, I thought it was funny...

same here
posted by matteo at 6:45 AM on February 6, 2003


Hama7 - You're right. I wasn't even considering it. Mea culpa!
posted by troutfishing at 6:46 AM on February 6, 2003


It's all about the pre-emption. Kill 'em before they do something really bad! Yeah, that's the ticket!

Pre-emption is bad policy.


Not when you have psychics that poop out pool balls...
posted by stifford at 7:09 AM on February 6, 2003


I think a better analogy would be if Mr. Johnson borrowed a cup of sugar from Mr. Terry and forgot to return the container.
posted by adampsyche at 7:23 AM on February 6, 2003


troutfishing:
Perhaps you did swipe some bandwidth, even if most university systems have gobs of it, but that post was very cool.
posted by caddis at 7:24 AM on February 6, 2003


muckster and bitdamage have already said it, but it bears repeating: I love Terry Jones. I think the analogy is solid. I think the idea is solid.

But this piece just sucks. I was greatly disappointed after the first couple paragraphs, where I had expected Mr. Monty Python to take the supposed domestic situation and reduce it to absurdity, providing laffs and insight at the same time. His anger apparently got the better of him, and he started explaining to us the painfully obvious analogy instead of drawing it out in comic ways. Boo. Hiss.
posted by soyjoy at 7:31 AM on February 6, 2003


soyjoy - Would that boil down to sledgehammering vs. tickling with a feather?

caddis - I'm not sure if hama7's point was valid or not, especially in context (though I think he may have been just sniping, mad over something else I posted today) - but the original Mefi post I got them from sure would have gobbled up some bandwidth: those pics are from sgt_serenity's great post just behind this one, on the spiritual practices of St. Ignatious of Loyola, in the "some pictorial help here" link. There are over 50 of those incredible pictures on the page! Priceless.
posted by troutfishing at 8:00 AM on February 6, 2003


Pssst , hadashi: Saddam is anything *but* a religious fanatic. Read up before posting or you will risk losing the feeble punch on your condescending remarks every time around.
posted by magullo at 8:08 AM on February 6, 2003


Pssst, magullo: I'll spell it out for you in small words (so that you get it this time).

The point is that Mr. Bush is doing what is necessary to prevent people like Saddam from supplying people like Mr. Hook with weapons that will kill people like Mr. Jones. In other words, "he's daft, but we'll protect him anyway because it is in our best interests to do so." Note that Mr. Hook and company already had Ricin, so they are obviously interested...

Perhaps engaging your forebrain before critiquing the comments of others will keep you from embarrassing yourself every time around.

Oh, I'm sorry. Was that condescending? Are you little feelings hurt? Tough.
posted by hadashi at 8:32 AM on February 6, 2003


Saddam is anything *but* a religious fanatic

Definitely not fanatic, but I believe Saddam has been trying to appear "More Muslim" over the last ten years. I saw the Uncle Saddam documentary and it said that Saddam was in the process of building a Mosque bigger than Mecca.
posted by stifford at 8:51 AM on February 6, 2003


Do people know that using image bandwidth from sites without permission costs a lot of money?

Yes. That's why when I do it I post the image from my own server. Still, this should probably be in the FAQ.
posted by moonbiter at 8:57 AM on February 6, 2003


It is true that he is trying to appear more Muslim, in the mosque you are talking about, every single brick is stamped with his name. Which is pretty much the antithesis of Islam. The only religion Saddam cares about is his own cult.
posted by cell divide at 9:18 AM on February 6, 2003


Mr. Bush is doing what is necessary to prevent people like Saddam from supplying people like Mr. Hook with weapons that will kill people like Mr. Jones

Or so his story goes ... unfortunately, there is no proof of that (despite Powells' best effort yesterday). Which strikes me as the reason why Mr. Jones wrote the piece in the first place. I couldn't help but noticing the abundant references to how he doesn't really know what his neighbor is up to, but *suspects* it is not good.

Do you get it now?
posted by magullo at 9:25 AM on February 6, 2003


Why is the government allowed to do things that I am NOT allowed to do?

Because we are subjects of the government, and the government is not a subject of anything else. If there were a world government (please don't say the UN) than our government would have to answer to them. If, on the other hand, we did not have a government, than in fact we as individuals would have to do our own policing.
posted by callmejay at 10:04 AM on February 6, 2003


magullo writes:

Do you get it now?

Yes, loud and clear. You, also, are naive and foolish. Don't worry, we'll protect you as well.

The only ones who remain unconvinced after Mr. Powell's speech are the those could never be convinced, even if Saddam dosed their house with Anthrax personally - or, more likely, have a political axe to grind, aka the "We hate George Bush" crowd.

There is going to be a lot of dancing on that side of the fence once the full extent of Saddam's weapons cache comes out - and don't think we're going to spare the "I told you so"...
posted by hadashi at 10:16 AM on February 6, 2003


Hey, hadashi, why don't you try being more patronizing and snide; maybe that'll convince him you're right.
posted by ook at 11:03 AM on February 6, 2003


The only ones who remain unconvinced after Mr. Powell's speech are the those could never be convinced

... and the only ones who remain convinced are those who were always convinced.
posted by jnthnjng at 11:04 AM on February 6, 2003


rough crowd. I, too, thought it was funny.
posted by johnny vagabond at 11:59 AM on February 6, 2003


There is going to be a lot of dancing on that side of the fence once the full extent of Saddam's weapons cache comes out - and don't think we're going to spare the "I told you so"...

Please don't hurt me mister big bad hadashi, but I just want to point a little thing out. Hopefully the world will continue to exist after this Iraq thing is through. It may turn out massive weapons caches exist, it may turn out otherwise, but that's not the point. The point is, what will definitely exist is the precedent we're setting. No amount of money, diplomacy, or guns will erase this "Attack first, dig the evidence out of the body strewn rubble later" policy from the history books. Just as use of nuclear weapons by a major power green-lights use of nukes by any other power, use of pre-emptive striking (especially baseless preemptive striking) does the same.
posted by badstone at 12:02 PM on February 6, 2003


yaawwnn........hmmm. another thread becomes an Iraq debate.....

*mechanically searches for evidence to support position*

Ok. here goes: "The chief UN weapons inspector yesterday dismissed what has been billed as a central claim of the speech the US secretary of state, Colin Powell, will make today to the UN security council. .....Hans Blix said there was no evidence of mobile biological weapons laboratories or of Iraq trying to foil inspectors by moving equipment before his teams arrived."

OK - pro war Mefi-ites. Your turn for a suitable scathing rebuttal. No cursing please, though. say anything you want...just say it nicely

Maybe I should do the rebuttal myself?....it would be just like solitaire (other analogies come to mind too...)
posted by troutfishing at 12:41 PM on February 6, 2003


troutfishing: In other words, Hans Blix admits to not seeing what he hasn't seen?
posted by turbodog at 2:33 PM on February 6, 2003


I quite liked Jones' article myself.

Perhaps he could have also mentioned that the way to retaliate for a neighbour's beating of his wife and children is to dynamite their entire house...
posted by lambchops at 4:43 PM on February 6, 2003


turbodog - No No No! You're supposed to post a LINK to suitably scathing rebuttal material! NOT a textual question - that's not strong enough!
posted by troutfishing at 7:25 PM on February 6, 2003


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