I'm waiting for the pancake competition

February 24, 2003 12:56 PM

Although the haiku as meme has fallen on hard times here at MeFi, there are still some practioners lurking about in the wilderness, no doubt. If you still feel the urge to get freaky with the 5-7-5, and you think you've got what it takes, you might want to try your hand at competitive haiku over at The Guardian, where quality haikuing will score you 20 lbs worth of Penguin Books. Damn, that's a lot of paperbacks!
posted by jonson (30 comments total)

That's £20, not 20 lbs. A significant difference.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:00 PM on February 24, 2003

Oh. Never mind. /litella
posted by jonson at 1:06 PM on February 24, 2003

it's 5-7-5
lookin for a slap upside?
keep the form alive

Nothing beats some good old fashioned Gangsta Haiku.
posted by stormy at 1:22 PM on February 24, 2003

I was really disappointed when I found out that it was pounds sterling, and not actual weight...
posted by esch at 1:24 PM on February 24, 2003

But if it was remaindered David Foster Wallace novels, it would work out to about the same amount...
posted by jonson at 1:25 PM on February 24, 2003

This site, linked from The Guardian, has some haiku toys, including the Floating Haiku, which gives you beautifully nonsensical haikus randomly generating in a cute little window every few seconds.

songbird glistens, cask
runs, invincible unfed
impertinent fears
posted by hippugeek at 1:27 PM on February 24, 2003

jonson is confused
the prize is monetary
not avoirdupois
posted by starvingartist at 1:32 PM on February 24, 2003

Traditionally
Haikus have seasonal words
Such as "orange blossoms"
posted by Hildago at 2:44 PM on February 24, 2003

I am now writing
my peer performance reviews
should I use haiku?
posted by freshgroundpepper at 2:58 PM on February 24, 2003

A haiku contest?
Surely, this is the rigt place.
Someone find ColdChef!
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 3:13 PM on February 24, 2003

Five opinions "pro,"
seven "con," and five "con-fused."
A MeFi "Haiku."

Hildago...liked the haiku...but, a question: isn't the syllabication for orange two syllables?
posted by Dunvegan at 3:20 PM on February 24, 2003

Not to me it ain't. I say "ornj", one syllable, like any decent hard-working fellow ought to. I heard of some people who say "or-enj", and I have to say I believe they may be criminals!
posted by Hildago at 3:34 PM on February 24, 2003

This is my haiku
Oh wait a minute
No it isn't
posted by HTuttle at 3:51 PM on February 24, 2003

Welcome Overlords
This broom, you say it vibrates
Who here likes pancakes
posted by Stan Chin at 4:01 PM on February 24, 2003

'ku's are creative
We don't need any stinkin'
syllabication
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 4:11 PM on February 24, 2003

Stan Chin wants pancakes
Greedy goddamn assblanket!
The squirrel, he hoards.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 4:16 PM on February 24, 2003

Come on man, I'm bored
Let's go see that new movie
With the kangaroo

He put the jacket
On the kangaroo, and now
The money is gone

All jumping around
A pocket full of mucus
It's a kangaroo

That marsupial
Shouldn't be allowed to rap
It's wiggety-whack

It doesn't rap, it's
A hallucination by
That guy from Sliders

It would take much more
Than a jacket full of dough
To make my ass watch
posted by Hildago at 4:23 PM on February 24, 2003

Stan Chin, I can't tell you how much I needed that laugh today. Thanks!
posted by Dinzie at 4:33 PM on February 24, 2003

Funny "Simpsons" joke -
Sign: "Michener by the pound"
Boy, that show sucks now.

Kanga movie bad.
Stay home and jerk off instead.
Hidalgo funny.
posted by UKnowForKids at 5:24 PM on February 24, 2003

The Guardian has just dropped about 2 trillion IQ points in my estimation. Haiku are all 5-7-5 now? That's in Japanese, Mr. Guardian Editor. While sticking to 5-7-5 might be cute, it's hardly authentic.

</pedant>
posted by wackybrit at 6:57 PM on February 24, 2003

I don't think there's really a way to write an "authentic" haiku, least of all in English. The rules seem to be constantly changing on you. But in their contest they get to make the rules, I guess.
posted by Hildago at 9:38 PM on February 24, 2003

Brit, shouldn't that be
"Mr. or Ms. Editor"?
Orange blossoms weep.
posted by taz at 10:45 PM on February 24, 2003

Since wackybrit has pried the seal on the hair-splitting kit, perhaps this is a good point to pick out the difference between difference between haiku and senryuu.
posted by gee at 10:59 PM on February 24, 2003

Actually, to be fair, the page does point this out in their "Guidelines" section, under "Pedant's Corner".
posted by taz at 11:03 PM on February 24, 2003

Taz, you have brought to light yet another example supporting the accusation that when read The Guardian, I never read The Guardian well. :-)
posted by gee at 11:16 PM on February 24, 2003

bad poetry is
bad regardless, five-seven-
five, or whatever
posted by padraigin at 11:59 PM on February 24, 2003

Unclench and
drop syllabic pretensions:
scansion is bunk.
posted by walrus at 5:38 AM on February 25, 2003

somthing is rotting
in the sink, it smells like ass
please wash the dishes!
posted by brand-gnu at 6:12 AM on February 25, 2003

It's MetaFilter
Self-policing many years
You're Wrong! No, You're Wrong!
posted by bwg at 7:21 AM on February 25, 2003

What number of books
on the topic of penguins
will twenty pounds buy?

Or are all these books
awarded as the grand prize
written by penguins?
posted by tolkhan at 1:08 PM on February 25, 2003