Like a

March 8, 2003 6:06 PM

"Take your date here and you will be "closing" later that night" If you're tired of the "helpful quotes" and "genial commentary" that make up a typical Zagat's review, this list of "unfit for print" comments that failed to make the guide may be the only remaining reason to go to their site, now that they charge a membership fee to read the reveiews. From the fantastic Buffoonery.org
posted by jonson (9 comments total)

Seems like another America-only guide... blech. Not interested even if it were totaly free. Useless.

But funny comments, though. Let me rephrase one:

Suffers from delusions of modesty.
posted by shepd at 7:37 PM on March 8, 2003

This is rather funny.

Someone wrote a short piece in the New Yorker some weeks ago along the lines of a relationship chronicle a la Zagats. Very funny.

Personally, even before I left NYC, I hated Zagats. Chowhound.com is the only guide that matters.
posted by ParisParamus at 7:49 PM on March 8, 2003

"So romantic that wives feel like mistresses and vice versa"

Nice.
posted by skallas at 7:57 PM on March 8, 2003

"If I want a fatty sandwich served by a walking attitude, I'll go to Mom's."

I notice that their 30 day subscription rate is $2.50 - fairly reasonable if you have an upcoming trip.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:21 PM on March 8, 2003

I was a big fan of fat-guy.com, but it seems to be off line at the moment. (I once worked with the fat guy of fat-guy.com fame, and found it very easy to believe that he knew most of the good eating spots in NYC.)
posted by Zonker at 8:35 PM on March 8, 2003

Seems like another America-only guide...

Select the "select locale" drop down menu and scroll past the U.S. locales...

See?
posted by gyc at 9:20 PM on March 8, 2003

Hilarious. Thanks.
posted by gwint at 10:18 PM on March 8, 2003

>Select the "select locale" drop down menu and scroll past the U.S. locales...

Thanks so much! I guess I missed the TWO cities that comprise my entire country, and aren't even the capital city!

I think I'll stick with CAA guides. More detail. Less pretentious than myself, too. Plus they include road maps. Mmmmm, truck stop food. Who couldn't love a restaurant that has pay-per-use showers and a full complement of phone and television at your seat? Sweet!

posted by shepd at 10:38 PM on March 8, 2003

My two faves are of opposite types: The no-frills, no-adjective simplicity of "Food tastes like socks" manages to hit very hard. Conversely, this one has a wonderful Burma-Shave feel to it:

Food is icky, tables are sticky, waitress has a hickey, stay home if you're picky.
posted by soyjoy at 10:40 PM on March 8, 2003