August 14, 2000

8:44 PM

Enough of these pansy-assed candidates. Gore? Bush? Nader? Feh on them all, clueless newbies, no real experience. It's time for a candidate who's been there. A candidate who's a true stateman. A candidate who is tan, rested and ready! It's time for us to rise up and say Nixon 2000!
posted by aaron (9 comments total)

No no no. It's all about Reagan 2000. Slightly less dead.
posted by Sapphireblue at 11:11 PM on August 14, 2000

Check this out! Follow this link

State of Texas to Execute Gore, Lieberman
http://thesatyr.com/archives/satyr/democratexecution.htm
posted by jaxomlotus at 12:14 AM on August 15, 2000

Nononono! Mouse and Duck 2000!
posted by ZachsMind at 5:55 AM on August 15, 2000

Screw the lesser evil, Lex Luthor for president! I already have my "Vote Lex" button.
posted by harmful at 6:23 AM on August 15, 2000

Lex Luthor is a wuss. One glare from Orrin Hatch and it'd be bye-bye school vouchers.

For real evil, one name comes to mind. Anyone know what happened to the Darth Vader in '00 site? That joint provided me with seconds and seconds of geek-joy.

Though I can't believe the dark lord couldn't even drum up enough shekels to keep his light sabers in duracells until November.

posted by chicobangs at 8:24 AM on August 15, 2000

And actually, you know, there's so many equally viable alternatives, of various stripes, shapes and colors, that we should have no problem finding the perfect candidate.
posted by chicobangs at 8:48 AM on August 15, 2000

And there is even another Nixon to vote for. But among billionaire megalomaniacs, Lex can't hold a kryptonite candle to youknowwho, and for a truly psychotic alternative...


posted by wendell at 2:08 PM on August 15, 2000

As any Futurama fan knows, Richard Nixon will be re-elected as an ass kicking cyborg in the year 3000!
posted by Mr. skullhead at 9:27 AM on August 16, 2000

So you're saying we are a thousand years ahead of the curve? Cool.
posted by wendell at 10:13 AM on August 16, 2000