Excuse me while I slip into something a little more...resilient
October 1, 2003 11:58 AM   Subscribe

Lifecase. Briefcase to Bullet Proof Vest in Seconds!
posted by gottabefunky (8 comments total)
 
"Excuse me, could you stop shooting for a second while I put my briefcase on? Oh, and please don't shoot at my head, I forgot my bulletproof coffee thermos/helmet combo today...."
posted by qDot at 12:15 PM on October 1, 2003


Y'know the real reason why Batman has that big yellow insignia on his chest? It's like a bullseye. Dat's where his costume is bullet proof. Guys with guns see a dark shadow with a bright yellow thing in the center. That's where they aim. Batman says "ouch." Lives to prowl another day.

This lifecase thingy would work in the exact opposite manner. Because the torso appears so conspicuous, the badguys will aim away from your torso and at your head and extremities. Now this can work to your advantage...

Chico: Ah, that was the greatest shot I've ever seen.
Britt: The worst! I was aiming at the horse!
- The Magnificent Seven


Some marksmen aim at the torso because it's the biggest part of the body and increases the odds of hitting something on a humanoid moving target. Aiming for an arm, leg or head decreases the chance of getting hit at all.. but not by much.

I will be impressed the day science comes up with a proximity device that when initiated jams all guns within a half mile radius. Yeah. I know it's impossible. Just over a century ago, so was flight.
posted by ZachsMind at 12:32 PM on October 1, 2003


The little photo sequence at the upper right is completely awesome. Complete with the executive's hunched shoulders and "bring it on!" grimace. And he's apparently being robbed by a member of the SAS.
posted by kavasa at 1:08 PM on October 1, 2003


And he's apparently being robbed by a member of the SAS.
Spetsnaz?
posted by kickingtheground at 3:54 PM on October 1, 2003


That photo is priceless.

Gunman: "Wait, hold on, I need to fix the damn sight on this. I knew I should have bought a German gun."

Businessman: "Ah ha! I have you now. I'm just going to unzip this thing and put it on while you fix that broken sight of yours."

Gunman: "This is taking a lot longer than thought."

Businessman: "Shit, I dropped my laptop."

Gunman: "Christ, what is this? Metric?"

*a few minutes later*

Businessman: "Go ahead and shoot!"
posted by skallas at 7:17 PM on October 1, 2003


Concentrating on being a moving target would be more beneficial than standing in one place and trying to wear luggage.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:20 PM on October 1, 2003


ONLY IN AMERICA!

/Yakov Smirnoff
posted by sharpener at 9:26 PM on October 1, 2003


You cannot put it on wrong.

Is that anything like, "You can't put too much water in a nuclear reactor"?
posted by starvingartist at 7:05 AM on October 2, 2003


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