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Strippers are terrorists!
November 5, 2003 11:39 PM   Subscribe

The Patriot Act turned two years old recently. To celebrate its birthday, its buddies took it to a strip club.
posted by homunculus (24 comments total)

 
"The law was intended for activities related to terrorism and not to naked women"

the problem here being those of our leadership to whom naked women are terrifying.
posted by quonsar at 11:44 PM on November 5, 2003


[Via TalkLeft.]
posted by homunculus at 12:27 AM on November 6, 2003


"Let me say, with Galardi and his whole gang, I don't condone, appreciate or support all their nakedness."

Thanks for clearing that up, chief. For a second I thought you were an advocate for nakedness. Icky.
posted by The God Complex at 1:00 AM on November 6, 2003


Yeah, we all laugh until that fine girl rubbing her whazza-whazzam all up in our blinkity-blinkow goes all ka-ka-kabloom and, daaaaaaamn, your nuts is all over the place.

Daaaaamn, girl, lemme get up under that skirt and check out your business and... oh, snap!

-Link found and happily stolen from Quonsar & Co's thoroughly confusing, but strangely compelling, website.
posted by The God Complex at 1:08 AM on November 6, 2003


George bush will be just like his father. 4 years and he's out!
posted by Keyser Soze at 2:43 AM on November 6, 2003


People of America: Remember that no matter how many others there will be, your vote will always count. Support our great nation and stand behind the roots of democracy!
posted by Keyser Soze at 2:45 AM on November 6, 2003


The Patriot Act will expire in 2005 unless Congress renews it. "More activity like this is going to cause us to take a close look at what was passed," [Senator] Reid said of the law being invoked in the Galardi probe.

considering many of our esteemed elected officials didn't read the damn thing before passing it back in '01, it is refreshing to hear they will give it a little more consideration before extending it.

I'm waiting for the RIAA/MPAA or DirecTV to invoke the PATRIOT Act in their efforts to fight the terrorists that take music/movies/teevee without paying for it.
posted by birdherder at 2:45 AM on November 6, 2003


I'm waiting for the RIAA/MPAA or DirecTV to invoke the PATRIOT Act in their efforts to fight the terrorists that take music/movies/teevee without paying for it.

Isn't that what gives the RIAA the power to subpoena directly in the first place?
posted by schlaager at 5:16 AM on November 6, 2003


Oh, wait. the DMCA does that. nevermind.
posted by schlaager at 5:17 AM on November 6, 2003


Same difference.
posted by dong_resin at 5:22 AM on November 6, 2003


"The law was intended for activities related to terrorism and not to naked women"

As a woman who must for the sake of hygiene be naked at least once a day, I'm relieved to hear this.
posted by orange swan at 6:38 AM on November 6, 2003


I am shocked, *SHOCKED* that the goverment would do such a thing..


Not.
posted by eas98 at 7:02 AM on November 6, 2003


Support our great nation and stand behind the roots of democracy!

I'm standing at the roots here...but who are all these people chopping away at them with hatchets?
posted by rushmc at 7:17 AM on November 6, 2003


Under the Patriot Act, the crime of "domestic terrorism" couldn't be more broadly written. Any criminal act intended to influence the government through "intimidation or coercion" involving "dangerous acts" qualifies.

Does that mean Bush qualifies for the federal death penalty if this thing passes? Because that would be rad.
posted by majcher at 7:47 AM on November 6, 2003


I wonder if MidasMulligan will make a comeback to defend (once again) the sincerity and validity of the Patriot Act..
posted by sic at 7:58 AM on November 6, 2003


The way legislation is marketed is by claiming its intentions and goals, hence we get DCMA and Patriot Act, etc. The way we should evaluate legislation is by examining the worst possible abuse it would permit.

But nobody knows this, it seems.
posted by yesster at 8:12 AM on November 6, 2003


I hadn't been aware that the Patriot Act expires in 2005. If you Americans can chop the Bush in the next election and put someone good in the White House, maybe you can see the Act become obsolete or at least changed to limit its powers to the investigation and prosecution of terrorism.
posted by orange swan at 8:39 AM on November 6, 2003


or even charge the shrub with treason under it.
posted by quonsar at 8:59 AM on November 6, 2003


Now that would have a certain, je ne sais quoi? Justice? Logic? You know, all those things we haven't seen in American government for ahwile.
posted by orange swan at 9:15 AM on November 6, 2003


What sic said.
Where is the mighty golden king of golf cheats these days? Has puffery gone out of style?
Will no Defenders of All Things Duhbya stand up and take a shot for their fearless chicken feathered aWol one?

Remember how it wasn't important that aWol be bright 'cause he would surround himself with the 'dream team' best and finest?
Hello there Mr. I Can't Win Against A Dead Guy Ashcroft, you're my first appointment!

How dare anyone question our Dear Leader's AG and said AG's intentions regarding the unPatriot Act!!! Treasoners! Suiciders!
posted by nofundy at 9:47 AM on November 6, 2003


New FBI guidelines relax restrictions in early terrorism investigations
posted by homunculus at 2:09 PM on November 6, 2003


Rep. Shelley Berkley, D-Nev., said she was preparing an inquiry to the FBI about its guidelines for using the Patriot Act in cases that don't involve terrorism. ... "It was never my intention that the Patriot Act be used for garden-variety crimes and investigations," Berkley said.

Today, kids, we learn about the most important law of all: The Law of Unintended Consequences.

Silly cow.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:39 PM on November 6, 2003


Don't forget the government has its own USA PATRIOT Act apologist website at lifeandliberty.gov which trots out some fairly appaling anti-liberal they-hate-America screeds under the guise of being "Stories & Articles" I'm aware that we have a conservative government, but this seems over the top to me. I just did a talk about the PATRIOT Act today, so I'm feeling all full of beans about it.
posted by jessamyn at 6:56 PM on November 6, 2003


Are You a Patriot? [Flash.]

Oh boy! I get a Junior Prosecutor badge!
posted by homunculus at 7:53 PM on November 6, 2003


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