Skip

MyPetFat
March 1, 2004 1:51 PM   Subscribe

mypetfat™
posted by hama7 (30 comments total)

 
linknotworkingTM
posted by orange swan at 1:57 PM on March 1, 2004


So when does MyPetUrgeForKilling come out?
posted by angry modem at 1:58 PM on March 1, 2004


It worked when I tried it for the fourth time.

I'd say carrying around a before picture of yourself would work about as well.
posted by orange swan at 2:01 PM on March 1, 2004


Dammit Hama7, I'm trying to EAT here....!
posted by Elim at 2:02 PM on March 1, 2004


Mmm, lard.
posted by carter at 2:04 PM on March 1, 2004


mypetfat consists of a 1oz. replica of body fat and a set of thoughts that are called mind stretches. Together, they are the mypetfat program.

Videos of lyposuction work wonders as well...
posted by Shane at 2:06 PM on March 1, 2004


and i thought this was about dog liposuction.
posted by MrLint at 2:11 PM on March 1, 2004


hama's fetish for fat flat out gives me the creeps
posted by vito90 at 2:14 PM on March 1, 2004


Of course, if you are too skinny and need to become a fatty, a ziplock filled with crumbs does the exact thing, conversely.
posted by Peter H at 2:18 PM on March 1, 2004


ha, i just got vito90's joke +
posted by Peter H at 2:20 PM on March 1, 2004


From the front page, I could have sworn they wanted you to lose weight by using fat extracted from your pets to bake bread...

The reality is just slightly less disturbing, though clearly more humane.
posted by whatnotever at 2:22 PM on March 1, 2004


Very much cheaper, but just as effective:

Pick up a pound of butter at the grocery. One pound, pure fat.

Better still: if you are 20 pounds overweight, pile 20 pounds of butter in your cart and just contemplate that for awhile. Then put it back, one pound at a time.
posted by mischief at 2:42 PM on March 1, 2004


I bet that woman's ankle and wrist joints worked properly before she developed her eating disorder.
posted by biffa at 2:44 PM on March 1, 2004


Wow, I can hardly wait to pay that guy $14.95 for some plastic fat and a bunch of common-sense platitudes on a piece of paper.

On second thought, I wish I had thought of that scam!
posted by vorfeed at 2:48 PM on March 1, 2004


This is rather silly... if I want to be reminded that fat is bad and ugly all I have to do is take off my shirt and gaze at my love handles.

Unfortunately after losing weight by dieting a few times your body adapts to the dieting condition and diet alone simply doesn't work anymore. I eat very little for a man my weight, but the weight doesn't come off -- if anything I am gaining weight without the exercise I should be making time for.
posted by clevershark at 2:49 PM on March 1, 2004


This reminds me of that Friends episode where Rachel had that glass of fat, and it was really gross too, and i think the whole point was just what this petfat thing is for, so she could see what fat looks like so she wouldn't want to eat and then she and Ross got in a fight and she said that in order to prove his love he should drink the fat and he made a move like he was going to, but then she screamed "STOP!" and got all teary-eyed because he loved her so much he'd drink a glass of fat. god, Rachel's hot. i'd drink that fat too.
posted by eastlakestandard at 3:01 PM on March 1, 2004


I have a whole bunch of pet fat. I love it care for it and feed it. MMMmm pet fat. I keep it mainly in my belly area.
posted by chrid at 3:10 PM on March 1, 2004


OH! I want one, and have it live with all of my fuzzy plush toy viruses!

Mmmmmmmm........goth menagerie.
posted by jearbear at 3:13 PM on March 1, 2004


Awesome. Is this the pet rock of the 00's? (is that why they called it "pet fat"?)
posted by mathowie at 3:27 PM on March 1, 2004


I, too, have pet fat. Fortunately for me, my wife carries it around on her chest.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:31 PM on March 1, 2004


jearbear -- those viruses are GREAT! I've never seen them before..
I'm ordering immediately. Thanks!!
posted by j at 3:49 PM on March 1, 2004


Jearbear!!!!

A Black Death plush toy! And cheap!


I am so happy right now.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:52 PM on March 1, 2004


Is this Kyle Gass's new venture? Looks like him on the homepage there.
posted by spacehug at 7:19 PM on March 1, 2004


It'll never gonna work for me. I've already eaten two hamsters, a cockatiel and an iguana.
(I'm banned from Petco)
posted by wendell at 7:45 PM on March 1, 2004


"....That success inspired me to get the 5lb. piece of fat and boy what a shock when I saw and felt what 5 lbs. of fat looked like. Friends and family were always amazed when they saw the fat, "is that what that much fat looks like, are you sure?".....

Needless to say carrying around a 1lb and 5lb piece of fat can be a little challenging, so when I found I could get a 1oz. piece of fat itís been by my side ever since. So what started out as a novelty has become a life-changing tool."

Fat. What an odd problem to me. My problems are all different.

But this guy has forced me to think, and I've come up with the FatShirt™ - the FatShirt™ is perishable. That's part of the point. It's a normal enough shirt, but it comes with chunks of fat sewn on to it. You wear it like any other garmet except that - over the course of a week - it starts to smell really, really bad. You then become so nauseous that you cannot eat much.
posted by troutfishing at 9:18 PM on March 1, 2004


Only one problem?

What do you feed it to keep it from getting overweight?
posted by Samizdata at 12:51 AM on March 2, 2004


This reminds me of that Friends episode where Rachel had that glass of fat, and it was really gross too, and i think the whole point was just what this petfat thing is for, so she could see what fat looks like so she wouldn't want to eat and then she and Ross got in a fight and she said that in order to prove his love he should drink the fat and he made a move like he was going to, but then she screamed "STOP!" and got all teary-eyed because he loved her so much he'd drink a glass of fat. god, Rachel's hot. i'd drink that fat too.

Hilarious. Pure comedy gold!
posted by tr33hggr at 6:48 AM on March 2, 2004


Now wait just a second ...
Friends. Hilarious?? Comedy?? That really is scary.
posted by johnny7 at 10:43 AM on March 2, 2004


I think, and I'm embarrassed to think that I know this, because it's the sort of thing I would normally try to be too cool and alternative to know, but sometimes at night you just can't handle the hugeness of reality, the intensity of consciousness, the loneliness of the world, and all that good stuff, so you turn on the tv and watch the little sitcoms, anyway, I think that the fat was monica's, related to some cooking project, not a diet plan of rachels. But: I am often wrong.
posted by mdn at 11:14 AM on March 2, 2004


Johnny7, I'd like to think that tr33hggr didn't mean that the Friends plot was hilarious, but rather *my* retelling of the plot was hilarious. This is plausible because I happen to be a very, very funny person.

mdn, I think you're right. I couldn't remember exactly why they had a glass of fat, but I remembered that it sparked a conversation similar to the tone of this thread and my 'memory' filled in the rest.

I still think Rachel's hot.
posted by eastlakestandard at 12:41 PM on March 2, 2004


« Older Aristide Says He Was Kidnapped   |   Flies, Spiders and Pillbugs, oh my! Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post